Latest Posts by aunt-kats-chats - Page 2
For someone who spends hours convincing herself that she isn't traumatized I sure do have quite a few traumatic experiences
I have many thoughts on Trina from Falsettos with most of them being sad for her
There's a class I want to take in University but it's already taken up by a class that I got pre-enrolled in
I feel like a lot of feminism offline would get considered discourse on tumblr
I'm so tired of the "I'm just a girl" memes. Stop infantilizing yourselves for the sake of internet clout. Do you see men using "boys will be boys" to paint themselves as nothing but idiots? No!
Stop finding ways to shrink yourself and take up the space that men take for free!
Something I think about a lot is how women, myself included, have been afraid of being pregnant even when we haven't had any sexual contact with a man. To me that says something but I'm not entirely sure what
I'm so tired of the idea that autism isn't a disability. I'm aware that some people aren't too affected by their autism but I am disabled by mine. I've been in and out of different therapies since I was nine years old and that was even before I was diagnosed at age twelve. I have frequent meltdowns and shutdowns over the littlest of things and combined with my ADHD and GAD it's quite frankly a miracle I get anything done. I've been exhausted since school has ended since I have to prep for University and I keep having mini meltdowns over all the uncertainty ahead. I barely know how to keep the friends I still have and everyone I'm close with is going to different schools so I have no friends as a safety net come Fall Semester.
It's tiring being Autistic because everything is so much more difficult. I can barely write legibly unless I think about it and even making friends is a game I barely know how to play. Yet when i tell people that I'm autistic they are shocked as if it wasn't obvious by my difficulties with peers.
I just hope that University is better but fuck I don't even know anymore.
But to my main point. Autism is a disability. Deal with it
Teachers constantly call me high functioning and I have level 2 social communications and level 1 repetitive behaviors autism so I'm always wondering what a level 1 across the board autistic person is like if I'm considered high functioning
"Anakin wouldn't do that"
"He was the greatest Jedi ever how would he turn to the dark side"
"There's still hope in him"
"There's still good in him"
Star wars makes a point of establishing how despite genocide and the conquering of worlds Anakin can still somehow be a good person. Yet what I find fascinating from a feminist perspective is these are very similar words to how women's abusers are excused. Even Padme's last words being that Anakin has good in him is so eerily similar to how abused women go back to their husbands out of the misguided beliefs that the abuse is not who their partner truly is.
Anakin Skywalker is the epitome of how men can do the most heinous of deeds and find redemption because society won't stop looking for the good in them
Autism sucks. I have shitty organizational and math skills and now my future at the college I’ve been accepted to is in danger of being rescinded since I got a D+ in math. Fuck
Not even religious but praying to God and my deceased Grandmother as we speak
So funny to me when people say that they're a communist but then buy makeup because "the company says they support feminism."
Chances are they're just saying whatever gets you buying the makeup
Growing up female is traumatic. From a young age I remember being terrified that I was going to be harrassed because I had developed faster and more obviously than my peers. Even now I shudder at the idea of having to bend over in front of men of any age. I got catcalled twice at 17 by other boys my age. I couldn't drive and I was waiting for my mom to come pick up from school and two boys from inside a car at the pick up line yelled something sexual at me. I will spare you the deals but despite my false bravado and real rage I felt nothing more than embarrassed and ashamed once they had left. I had rumors around my sexual life even before I had a serious relationship of any kind and I had male friends who had found me being sexually innocent funny. The things they'd watch and openly show me was nothing more than disgusting yet the idea of exploring my sexuality and then finding out I was bisexual had me ashamed because I thought that they would be weirded out
I can go on but I won't
I wrote some poetry about autism when I was younger but now looking back on it I don't think I really liked acknowledging the fact that I was disabled by my autism. If anything I was desperate to prove how undisabled I am and now that I'm older and having more frequent meltdowns I'm starting to think I have some sort of complex around accepting the fact that I am in fact developmentally disabled
The fact people are so upset with pornhub requiring Age Verification in certain USA states is so bizarre but funny to me. Women are being abused and trafficked and raped yet apparently your reason for boycotting is the fact you now have to be 18 in certain states to access porn??????
I do not understand the term autismgender
Booktok romance books scare me somewhat. Why is it sexy to have a guy take your birth control out as a form of foreplay?????
That and I made the mistake of reading Coleen Hoover books. They have the exact same formula of angst sex angst sex and then woah happy ending no one saw coming even though they have a toxic relationship. The only redeeming one that I read was “It ends with us” and even that one made me uncomfortable and not the way she wanted us to be if I had to guess
I hate it when the songs that give me bad mental health also sound so catchy. Like I re-listened to a song that gives me a weird spinning in microwave feeling but it’s a catchy way to explain some of my trauma so-
I think a lot of what people call radical feminism on tumblr is really feminism 101 but people don’t want to acknowledge that being born female means that in almost all of the world if not the entire world puts us at an innate disadvantage
Being autistic and having been diagnosed at twelve years old is so inherently funny to me cause like I was knowledgeable enough to know that something was clearly weird or off about me. But not knowledgeable enough to realize that the DSM-5 wasn't kidding when they said that symptoms could be managed but would always be lifelong
Like my meltdowns are still a massive pain. Just now they're about things that could make sense like grades and not stuff like the sun exploding within my lifetime
Me: I'm not that obviously disabled by my autism Also me: Has a meltdown shutdown cycle for three weeks and although I've escaped it I'm still spiraling with anger issues out of the stress of a new transition beginning this fall
Will Wood still hitting years after I've discovered it
We had a presentation on fentanyl recently
It made me think about a lot. My grandmother. My mother. Myself
Because of my nervous system dopamine deficiencies I have a higher chance of becoming an addict than most
Even if a drug is barely laced with Fentanyl it can and will probably kill you in an instant
I made a promise to not do drugs of any kind. I plan on keeping that promise
But shit man a 14 year old with ADD dies because he tried to take drugs to relax his symptoms and then dies less than two weeks after getting his hands on said drugs will fuck with me forever
Being in both neurodivergent friend groups and neurotypical friend groups I've come to the conclusion that I don't really fit in either. Like I have friends of both neurotypes but the groups I end up making end up never working out. It's always the friends on the periphery of my life that I don't talk to every day that last
I feel like a lot of women grow up feeling "not like other girls" because we're constantly pushed so many differing views of what it means to be a woman that we end up overlooking that we are all still girls and later women regardless of our personalities
I think about my grandmother a lot more now that she's gone. She was a complicated woman but knowing I'll never see her again hurts me more than anything I could fathom her being while she was alive. I'd like to think she's at a beach where the sun shines forever in her afterlife