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Menstruation - Blog Posts
Once a month
They tell me it’s a woman's dream/an ancestral right passed down from mother to daughter
A fever lights beneath my skin/red orchids stretching and blooming on my shoulders and back
The great goddesses would smile and kiss my head for this/but I wish they would take it back
The moon with her eternal smirk dances with me/i feel just like the tide, thrown from side to side
My body shakes like a kicked dog/the tremors spread and the entire world seems to quiver as well
I do not feel like myself/ my mother fixes my clothes and tells me that's just how it is
I want to kill myself mother is that just how it is too/it’s not real, it’s just like a dehydration mirage in the desert she tells me
I wail and mother laughs at my dramatics/does she delight in the shared suffering we now have?
I want to cut open my stomach to strangle the snakes writhing in it/mother tells me she's afraid of snakes
I come to my father on my knees like a begging man/this is a woman’s matter he says as he turns his head
When I cry about my miserable existence asking for it’s justification/he says the same as my mother, it’s not real
There is not enough air in the world/but my “sisters” tell me to just breathe, like telling a dead man to still love
I take the tablets/the pills/the capsules/the pellets/the medicine/and I weep like i’ve never known tenderness
I tell God i’ll finally go to church if he takes the pain away and when he doesn’t/i say i’ll start worshiping Satan
I feel like a melancholic girl from the 1800s/banished to the countryside for hysteria
I wish I was hysteric/i wish someone could give me a prescription of living on the land
The little control I still have/i wrestle with like I’m a child trying to keep my favorite toy
The moon waxes and wanes as a crawl on the floor/a wounded bleeding animal
This is womanhood they say, this is punishment/take it back take it back take it back
The resentments and bitterness slip past my lips like puke/isn’t this beautiful, don’t you feel beautiful
I do not want this girlhood, this femininity/give me barren fields and an empty life
I sit with my “sisters” as we talk about Aunt Flow/in this we are a witch covenant bound only by mutual pain
I wish I could give away this regift of living as it was regifted to me/but there is only one way to do that
I feel bruised, achey, and weak/i wish someone would hold me
But mother says it’s natural/and father says to toughen up
I am already so small/why must you make me smaller?
Someone tear my uterus out and give it to those in need of one. This shit does nothing but cause trouble.
What do you mean that for a week before I bleed, I get to have extreme anger and mood swings, borderline hospital trip worthy thoughts, extreme nausea, dizziness, migraines, and more
THEN I bleed nonstop for a bit over a week while still feeling a lot of those symptoms.
Get this thing out of me I don't want children, my family genetics are too fucked and I'd probably traumatize it. I have no use for this organ and the torture it brings get it out of me.
They need to have a human body update that makes ovulation and the menstrual cycle optional. I'm not gonna be using it, I don't want children, so what's even the point anymore?
Being on period:
Abdominal cramps because uterus shedding it's lining. Abdominal cramps because constipation because uterus shedding it's lining. Blood sugar always low, no amount of food can fix this. Boobs hurt. Dysphoria increase, need to bind. Boobs hurt more. No energy to do shit, but going outside helps so like...
Anyway I feel like bad. Please gimme a hot water bottle.
Having a PMDD-esque period in sync with the depersonalisation and derealisation episode is really milking my bpd this week and it's only my first day.
More horrors to come tomorrow!
TW: afab anatomy/periods, fear and non agere
I'm so so scared right now my period skipped a week and when I think I have it it's dark and I don't know it's just freaking me out but I don't want to go to a doctor about it cuz I'm scared and I don't know what to do right now im bawling my eyes out bc im scared... I just want to be tiny and curl up into a ball and have the fear melt away... No I don't know if I have any underlying health conditions and I don't mess around I'm only ever with my partner so I can't be pregnant that's not my worry I just don't know what's going on right now and I'm afraid...
Palestinian girls and women are forced to use tents as pads. People boost. Donate if you can
(I don’t own this picture btw) DUDE IM ON MY PERIODS AGAIN TWO TIMES THIS MONTH WHATS GOING ON
Imma be real as a mentally ill woman one of the hardest things is that being on my period makes it extremely hard for me to stay emotionally regulated and yet men will use that as a reason to further discredit me and every other woman
Something I think about a lot is how women, myself included, have been afraid of being pregnant even when we haven't had any sexual contact with a man. To me that says something but I'm not entirely sure what