Latest Posts by clearlyjonah - Page 2

Okay my brain is interpreting loving myself in a weird way but whatever keeps me going ig

I feel so fucking guilty why can i never do anything right

Making crepes cause apparently suicide is wrong 😑

I don't really think i deserve all of this love, still trying to fight with my brain

Okay guys i won't poke the trauma any more i promise

This kink has hands

Can brain decide just one self destructive thing for me to struggle with

Existing is already so fucking hard as it is

I love love love nicotine

Mf please leave my brain istg i'm going insane

Wiki how to delete yourself from the system

The crisis has restarted

The crisis has passed

Why do feelings hurt so bad

The crisis has passed

Why does forest keep hiding my blades (rethoric question)

Pay attention to me please

Is this what guilt feels like. Why. Why does it hurt so bad. Why does it feel like drowning

Am i a monster

I think aknowledging i need help is a big step.

Will i accept it tho? Who fucking knows

How to force myself to feel emotions my brain doesn't allow me to feel

I wish syshopping was real so that i could chose some random problematic system to hop into and then kill myself

Leaving this here for... no reason

Mf please explode i don't even know where to begin expressing how much i hate you

They should invent like an electric shock for everytime i start thinking about relapsing again.

I'll either end up stopping or liking the shock, i'd love to see what would happen

New intrusive thought unlocked? What the hell was that

Is it fine i regret not take advantage of Forest's moment of weakness the other day? Like i know i did the right thing god i miss that feeling so bad

I probably shouldn't be allowed near alcohol but whatever

I seriously need endos to fuck the hell off, what i go through daily isn't fun quirky little game you can decide to play, it is a fucking trauma response and i actually have to waste tons of my energy not to cause any more unreversible damage to the other alters. Having other people in your head isn't fucking funny, they're not just "friends you can have inside jokes with". It's tiring. It's debilitating. It's not knowing what will happen when you're not in front. Is having the others getting potentially exposed to danger and being unable to do anything to protect yourself and/or the body. It's others hating you for doing exactly what you were formed to do. The shame, the guilt, the self hate you constantly have to carry around that came after years and years of terrible trauma. It can sometimes be fun but the main point is it's a fucking disorder. I can't stand you guys fucking de-medicalising it so that you can enjoy a fake ass romanticised version of it. I hope my traumas hit you all at once. I hope you split a pre self-consciousness me. I wish all the worst to y'all

Mixing alcohol with meds will never not feel good