I go by Bisho. I'm chronically ill, Autistic, and Physically Disabled. I love Horror Games and Kirby so much. I suck at social interactions online and in person.
186 posts
Latest Posts by emptyspaxes - Page 3
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I'm still trying to save up about 2100$ for a sleep apnea device. My insurance refused to cover it. And I essentially need it to breathe in my sleep. So any help is greatly appreciated!
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Such a beautiful thing and no I didn't just ball my eyes out lol (I cried hard because I needed that) Thank you
Prayers for Suicidal Hellenic Polytheists
(I’m having a really bad suicidal day, so this is inspired by @aro–aphrodite)
May Zeus provide you the strength to live, and the safe refuge of his protection for when the urges become too much.
May Hera remind you in your darkest hours, the most important relationship is the one with yourself; and may she bless and strengthen the bond of that very union.
May Poseidon keep you safe in all voyages, including the journey that is life. May he prevent you from drowning in both your thoughts and the waters deep below.
May Demeter keep you warm and love you just like a mother. May she send forth gifts of a still soothed mind, and allow all your efforts in recovery to be fruitful.
May Athena, destroyer of Giants, slay the urges and intrusive thoughts too large to defeat on your own. May she protect you and bless you with the will to keep fighting.
May Apollon be by your side, whether it be during therapy or at your bedside in the ward. May he be a ray of light to give you a glimmer of hope.
May Artemis shield you, and provide you relief. May you never be thrown to the wolves, but rather have the courage to bear your teeth for your own defence.
May Ares cover your battle scars, and protect you from more. May he give you the courage of an entire army, and the support of one to. May you be reminded that you need not to win every battle to win the war.
May Aphrodite shower you with the love you deserve, including the love of yourself for yourself. May she remind and teach you that you are beautiful.
May Hephaistos provide you a creative outlet; a distraction to keep hands busy without a blade. May he teach you you can’t forge yourself without the flame, but you have been setting yourself on fire far too long.
May Hermes provide you a safe haven; be it a support group, or even just long drives in the rain to clear your head. May he hold your hand as you cross bridges, and let you find change on the ground after you do not jump.
May Dionysos put a smile on your face, and stand strong along side you, urging you to dance; he knows mental illness all to well. Dance away the demons, dance into relief.
May Haides, somber but not always impartial, lead you away from the incoming cars, and drop sweet nectar into your mouth. It is not yet your time.
May Persephone remind you that the greatest fall can lead you to the greatest heights. There is something honourable about walking out of rock bottom with your head held high, or walking on through like you own the place.
May Hestia keep you warm when your emotions are spent, leaving you numb and cold. May she bless you with a feeling of home whenever possible, and keep those hearth fires burning. And your own inner fire strong, as well.
The Gods demand Arête, your personal best. Arête is not being the most successful person in the world. Sometimes it is merely staying alive. And staying alive, well, that makes the Theoi very happy.
Reblogging this because I needed to hear it
Let the Following be Understood
No one is entitled to your body, except you.
No one is entitled to your time, except you.
No one is entitled to your abilities, except you.
No one is entitled to an explanation of your craft, justifications or to your craft as a whole, except you.
Your personal existence is yours. Feel free to share it but if someone makes you uncomfortable or demands something, understand that it is yours and your personal expression and you are not obligated by any means to need to justify or give parts of yourself to someone who wouldn't give you the same luxury. Don't let entitled people steal your soul, your heart, your being.
i need people to understand that when a person with a chronic illness talks about the fatigue that comes with it, we're not talking about the tiredness that comes from a 10 hour shift at work, we're talking about the inherent exhausting heavy malaise that hangs on your entire body like a weighted blanket from the time you wake up in the morning and doesn't get any lighter as the day goes on.
fatigue doesn't come from exertion. it's just innate- and when it does come from exertion, it's been worse than the innate fatigue that was already there in the first place, and it adds on top of it, not replaces it.
I get to go to the doctor and be tested for different things. Joint pain really hurts and brain isn’t working right now. Mom thinks I have arthritis but only 22 years old. I know arthritis happens to all ages, just sad. I’m worried if I can write still. Can I draw still? Good news tho! I’m getting a forearm crutch soon. Might help more than a cane. Been using cane for a while, want more stability though so figured arm crutch? I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I’m struggling with words right now.
Also, if I’m putting wrong tags, let me know. I’m sorry, I’m trying
I hate the idea that I have to be good and well-behaved bc I'm disabled. I'm an evil little guy who exists to cause mischief in a redneck town
my identity doesn’t have to make sense to you. when I have the energy, I don’t mind explaining, but at the end of the day it doesn’t actually matter if you understand or not. all that matters is that you accept me and respect me for who I am
Like, I really need people who are against self diagnosis, the majority of whom had the privilege of being diagnosed in childhood or adolescence, to understand how racist, classist, and ableist this viewpoint is.
So many people of color go undiagnosed. Their adhd/autism is chalked up to behavioral problems and no one bothers to look into it further.
So many poor people don’t have the money to be able to afford getting a formal evaluation. That shit is expensive.
So many people get misdiagnosed. Afab adults in particular are more likely to get diagnosed with BPD when they actually have adhd or autism. People with a trauma history have their symptoms chalked up to trauma and all adhd/autism specific symptoms are ignored.
If you were diagnosed as a child or teen you have absolutely no right to dismiss people (especially adults, afab people, and people of color) and act like self diagnosis is harmful. Most people who self-dx do so after extensive research and they know themselves better than you. Self-dx doesn’t take anything away from people with a formal diagnosis; it helps the individual find an understanding community and coping skills that make their lives easier. If you’re bothered by that, that says a lot about your character.
I feel like half my body needs to be soaked in ice while the other half covered in heating pads…just the issues of chronic pain ⋋_⋌
Whether you are disabled/chronically ill or not. You are NOT going to consider getting something to help you that you don’t need. Get that kitchen aid. Get that mobility aid. Get. It.
Still not sold? Let me ask you this: WHY would you consider something to help you, if you didn’t need it? Even if it’s for a short period? You wouldn’t. If you answered “laziness” to that. Consider this: Laziness is a SOCIAL CONSTRUCT. Why? So that you will do less of the things you enjoy and work more.
Even if it’s just a soap dispenser with a sensor. Do. It. There is a reason! Even if you have not worked it out yet!
Ok so at this point I've had two people roll up to me in manual wheelchairs, well, one of them was somebody pushing somebody who was nonverbal at the time, but it still counts. They asked me why I had zip ties around my tires.
It's winter where I'm living and we have really bad snow. And the snow plow people are really bad at their jobs probably because there aren't snow plow people who clean sidewalks. As a solution I got to thinking about how I could increase the traction on my wheels. And the most redneck thing I could think of was taking a bunch of zip ties and tying them around my wheels. They last surprisingly long, and work surprisingly well. It's basically the same premise as chains for your tires during the winter.
I chose to space them out pretty evenly so there's about one for every spoke. You could probably do more or less depending on how many you want and how much traction you get but I wouldn't go more than three per spoke. I realize that it's a bit later in the winter, and I probably should have made a post about this sooner, but I came up with it about a week ago. So please share this, even if you're not disabled, because there are tons of people I know who are stuck in their houses because they can't get around in the snow. A pack of zip ties costs about $5, which compared to $200 knobby snow tires is a big save, and if you want to invest you could get colored zip ties.
“Thank you for asking what nobody else did.
What not even I considered.”
Drawn with my non-dominant hand.
Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey
Wait what's a buildings fire evacuation plan if you aren't supposed to use the elevator to get down
As an autistic person I do not identify with the “autism creature” meme. I am an autism monstrosity, I am an autism beast, I am even an autism horror.
I'm so alone. I have fucking no one.
put spikes on your wheelchair's handles. wrap barbed wire around your cane or crutch so it'll hurt like a motherfucker if someone kicks or grabs it from under your hand. wear a personal alarm and pull the pin every time someone moves you without your consent, leans on your chair, takes a seat on your rollator, taps your hearing aid, steals your AAC device. scream for help when you're abducted. wail like you're in agony when people trip you up or knock into you. take pepper spray to the grocery store. take a knife to the club. leave cards that say "fuck you" under the wipers of inconsiderately parked cars and scratch access codes for bathrooms on the outside of the door. we are not begging for mercy, we're fighting dirty. we have to.
Am I ill?
Sometimes I start to wonder if I really am chronically ill. Do I really wake up every day with pain or am I just faking it all the time? I know other people actually have these issues and they are very much real, but to me, I don't know what is real for myself anymore. I try so hard to be normal, yet the pain comes back. It always will come back. I wake in the mornings with a killing pain surging through my jaw. I know that last night I must have been fighting monsters, swinging swords that allow me to defeat these dragons lingering in the mountains. Yet, today as I wake up the pain isn't from a dragon or those monsters I fought, it's from my trying to dislocate once more. The throbbing pain in my head isn't from being flung against the wall of a dragon's den, that pain is from my chronic migraines that linger in me causing it almost impossible to eat and hold my food down. That surging sensation that spirals in my belly, drifting up towards my heart and seeping through my veins isn't the poison of my enemy trying to defeat me at last, this is the anxiety that causes me to isolate myself until everything is fine again. The anxiety that holds me back from chasing these wild imaginations because I'm not okay. I don't think I ever will be okay, but am I really ill?
Overload...
One of the best things about college to me is just showing up early to get a good seat away from people and pick where I sit. I love being able to sit away from the flickering bright white lights that loom over the students, yet being able to sit away from windows and distractions that might interfere with my studies. With all these great things soon comes misery though...the seat I pick always ends up having someone trying to sit near me so I have to set my backpack on the chair next to me and sit in the corner if possible. I fear people might think I'm rude, but the noises of others clicking away on computers, talking to their neighbors, smells, and any small noises or motions they make just tend to bother my sensory issues. I have severe sensory issues due to my autism and sensory processing disorder so I go into a meltdown almost every time I show up to class. I love school and learning as it's my special interest and always has been. The ability for me to expand my knowledge in any way possible makes me happy and want to flap my hands around. I just wish people were more considerate and I didn't have to wear headphones just to exist in normal environments. School is great, yet extremely hard and I always miss classes sometimes. I tried online school, but it's hard for me to focus and stay attentive in class. I'd rather sleep through it instead which is a huge issue. I don't know, I just feel as if I need to let out some of my issues and get them off my chest in order to sit through this next class. Sorry if I come off as rude, I don't mean to. I just am struggling so much lately to just exist. I want to curl up in a ball and hide away from society until people acknowledge that those with disabilities can and will be in professional settings too so we need to make things to accommodate them.
Hi everyone,
I thought I would post something about neurodiversity and stay cool because it’s been so hot these last few days. Here are some infographics by Neurodivergent Insights about interoception:
The article will be below:
I also found these that’s lists some ways to stay cool and how you can handle the heat:
1. Baggy Clothes
2. Water Activities
3. Freeze Your Food (frozen grapes are great imo)
4. Don’t Be Afraid To Stay Inside
5. Meal-Prep
The article to this will also be below if you want to read more:
1. Water, water everywhere.
2. Let us spray.
3. Inhale “cool” essential oils.
4. Adapt your clothing to suit your ASD.
5. Protect your eyes and your head.
6. A once a day sunscreen can really help.
7. If you need to shut out daylight, shut it out!
The article will be below as it goes into more details:
I hope many of you find these helpful. I think this will be helpful to all neurodivergent individuals. Please take care. ♥️
Just Autistic Things...
Being excited about beige food and sitting alone in your room while watching your special interest on youtube for the 50th time this month...ngl I’m excited as heck for it!
Neurotypicals take drugs to experience everyday shit for neurodivergent people like “Bro I was so high I had to turn my tv down to taste my pizza” yeah that’s a Tuesday night for me
Oh! Aiden now see Aiden old rb is poof and now Aiden need make define.
Ok so
Level 1: low support need, can do most/all basic thing by self
Level 2: medium support need, can do some thing by self but maybe need help with basic thing or have hard basic thing
Level 3: high support need, not able do most/all basic thing by self or have many many hard basic thing
Person able be between level!