Latest Posts by g00seg1raffe - Page 3

my roomkey stopped working in the middle of my midnight snack run to the flat kitchen, so guess who had to march two blocks down to site security at 2am in fucking January, -5C, in fucking ankle socks and t shirt?????

anyways currently googling frostbite symptoms because i cant feel my feet. if i die tell my parents i love them and my brothers to get fucked

This is the Erestor that lives rent free in my head. anime ٩(๑`^´๑)۶ uwu man is cute and all but uh

This mf if older than the moon, older than Finwë, older than the Journey... Oromë first stumbles on the elves when this guy is already an adult, ok? This Erestor has been hunting dragons in Middle Earth since before Fëanor was even born. He's founded and overthrown Avari kingdoms that no one's even heard of by the time he rocks up in Rivendell. He has 20 something different names because that's how much language has evolved during his lifetime. Erestor is and absolute fucking badass and I will not stand his uwuification for a single second longer >:(

*top secret council in the second age* Gil-Galad: why are you here? Erestor, unfathomably ancient cryptid of unknown origins and unclear intentions who has, for some reason, been wandering in and out of Lindon for most of the second age: because I'm loyal Gil-Galad: ... loyal to whom? Erestor: don't worry about it Erestor: :) Gil-Galad: *visible concern*

Obi-Wan Kenobi's net worth at the height of the clone wars - 52,365,000 credits. yeah... that's a lot.

general. my good sir. obi wan. why do you smoulder so hard these are mug shots

can you control yourself for like 20 seconds this is serious you are a war criminal

Yo the language of the fans is getting advanced

Grandma: oh sasha, why do you dress like that? You look like a dyke!

Me, a dyke: . .

Orc: man, we're so lost in this blizzard - forget attacking himring, we can't even see himring! Orc: ... wait. Orc: *squints*

They've put a giant eight-pointed star on the fortress on top of the hill overlooking the city. If I squint hard enough, I kind of feel like I'm in Himring (bad picture taken three quarter of the way up the hill, complete with desolate vegetation and thickish moving fog).

The disdain, the eloquence - a masterful eyebrow raise!! He gets it from his dad 🥹

Aww, it's genetic! 🥰

Okay, BobaDinLuke but they have the same chemistry as Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swan respectively

With the braziers long gone cold, the night lies close and heavy, darkness impenetrable. It’s imôr - the deep night. Men call this time the bewitching hour and as Adar gazes on the apparition lying beside him, he can’t help feeling that they might have a point.

The Elvenking’s Herald looks unearthly in Adar’s bed, more like a mirage of grey starlight and hazy shadow than a creature of flesh. It seems there must be some trick of the light at play, one that makes an Uruk out of canvas tent walls and a Maia out of tangled sheets. But despite the guiles of dappled starlight, Elrond’s breath is warm and steady and undeniably real against Adar’s hand as he raises a finger to those sweet lips -

Lips parted and eyes closed in true sleep. Is it his mortal blood that makes him sleep so deeply? Or, like an Elf, has he collapsed into oblivion as his strength runs dry?

What is he - Elf or Man of Maia, all at once or something else entirely? Elrond Peredhel, half Elf, half other, descendent of Lúthien whose shadowy hair and radiant face have ever drawn the eyes of monsters. Kinslayers, Úmaiar… and Adar. Wonderous thing, he thinks. Wonderous, beautiful, hunted thing.

- from the fic I’m writing about Elrond from Adar’s perspective. I promised 5k of fangirling and I intend to deliver. Hang in there!

No no hear me out - BobaDinLuke but Boba is Elizabeth Swan and Luke is Jack Sparrow. Din is still Will Turner he’s perfect no notes.

Okay, BobaDinLuke but they have the same chemistry as Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swan respectively

Literally nobody asked but i feel the need to explain.

There are 6 named Avari peoples, much like the Noldor, Vanyar and Sindar. The one that lives the furthest north are the Hwenti. Before it's destruction at the end of the first age, the Hwenti have a duty to guard Middle Earth against the things that crawl out of ruined Utumno.

Erestor was not born into the Hwenti people but is absolutely considered one of them once he takes up this duty. He's part of the branch that defends the Western Arctic of First Age Middle Earth... right near the Helcaraxë.

One fine... well the sun hasn't risen yet so it's not a day... anyway, he leaves the camp to keep watch for wargs and catch some fish.

He returns completely baffled with 2,000 starving doomed Noldor and absolutely no idea who they are or what they're doing here, except that they maybe escaped the Far God's Land?? But don't seem to know how to make functional coats or navigate the ice floes??

His unflappable CO, bless her heart and patience, goes "well, they aren't fish, that's for damn sure" and it catches on!

Fingolfin's Noldor are hitherto jokingly referred to as the Fish People - a gag which grows in infamy as the Noldor proceed to set fire to Beleriand - and with the joke goes the story of the poor Hwenti fuck who went out to get fish and came back with the Tyrants of the West. Poor guy. Poor, stupid guy. What a legend.

It becomes a general catch-all phrase for stupid shenanigans and stupid people: like kitchen maid no. 1 goes "hey, did you hear that the Empress' second son is secretly engaged to the rebel leader trying to depose her??? It's scandalous!!" and kitchen maid no. 2 goes "wow! and do you also believe that the Noldor are fish?? because that's absolute bullshit!" - and general 1. says to general 2. "we could attempt that defensive manoeuvre, if we felt like catching Noldor instead of fish and causing a massacre instead of covering our retreat" - tailor unimpressed by assistant acquiring 100 bolts of pomegranate satin when he specifically requested carmine silk; assistant defends herself by saying "well at least it's not 100 Noldor - we can still make this work!" - Silvan soldier at the Last Alliance, with a grand gesture towards the Noldorin Armies, lisps "look at all those fishes!"

Anyways, Legolas meets Erestor and sure it's cool and all that he's Lord Elrond's Chief Councellor but uh. The Silvan are a cultural fusion of Sindar and Penni (another Avari group) so of course he's heard the Noldor are Fish Gag, and of course he knows all about the Hwenti guy who went out for fish and came back with the Doomed Hosts of the Noldor. It's like if you met the 'What The Fuck Richard' guy and he's somehow the Vice President of Switzerland sending you on a top secret mission to destroy Russia's nuke codes?? Like ok sure this is important but consider: I Know What You Are

Elrond: And this is my Chief Councellor, Erestor. He is 8000 years old, and very wise and venerable. I trust him with my life. Legolas, Silvan, knows all the shit that his guy did: Oh, the Fish Guy! Hey! ヾ(＾ ∇ ＾) Erestor, the Fish Guy: ... hello

So there was a post a while back about Ben Solo always being told "don't do (x), that's how uncle luke lost his hand" when he was a kid - and I raise you: Elrond and Elros being told "don't do (x), that's how Maedhros lost his hand"??

Like, at Amon Ereb when the twins were newly acquired and refusing to eat their vegetables and Maglor is Mag-mothering them until Erestor, feral half-sane clinically depressed anarchist Avari hostage/patient/infiltrator and Certified Little Shit, hits em with:

"I would listen to the Lord Maglor, winyamor, he well knows the dangers that come to young elflings who don't eat enough vegetables - after all, that's how his brother lost his hand."

Elrond looks conflicted. Elros squints suspiciously. "Truly?"

Erestor, practically comatose since the massacre but ultimately saved from Fading by the biological compulsion to fuck with you, lays a hand over his heart. "I would never lie about such a thing! Just what do you take me for? This is a true tale and a grave warning - the Lord Maedhros' hand was tragically lost in the days of his youth, whilst he was still growing as you are. He refused to eat his vegetables and so, cruelly deprived of the strength it needed to grow strong, his body started to fall apart! First his fingers, then his thumb, and then his palm and wrist - all turned blue and dropped off!"

"No!" Elrond gasps. Elros looks both terrified and impressed. Maglor's face is scrunched up into something that the twins probably interpret as pained - at reminder of the horrors of limbs falling off! - but is actually just him busting a rib trying not to laugh.

"Yes!" Erestor cries with relish. "And it never grew back. All because he didn't eat his vegetables. Isn't that right, Lord Maedhros?"

Maedhros, a looming terror at the head of the table, scarred and solemn and impenetrable as his fortresses, narrows his eyes consideringly at the unfolding shenanigans and the rascal behind it. His conclusion? Fuck it. He gives a slow, solemn nod. Completely deadpan and exaggeratedly formal, because it may have been centuries since he last had his brothers smothering laughter at political dinners but the Finwëan sense of humour, once caught, is not an ailment easily cured.

Maglor conceals his wheezes behind his goblet as Erestor nods sagely to the wide-eyed twins, who suddenly seem a sight more interested in their vegetables.

Adar's perspective on Elrond and Gil-Galad's relationship

An explanation of why so many of Tolkein's characters have 'grey eyes':

Historian: So what colour were Maglor's eyes?

Maglor's eyes:

Witness: Definitely grey. Historian: Ok, great. Now, what colour were Lúthien's eyes. Lúthien's eyes:

Witness: ... Witness: ... uh Witness: ... let's go with grey?

Lindir, blackmailing his way into a position in Lindon so he can keep taking care of Elrond and Elros: And - and then... I saw the massacre at Sirion... i-it haunts my n-nightmares...

Lindir at Sirion:

Elrond: And this is my Chief Councellor, Erestor. He is 8000 years old, and very wise and venerable. I trust him with my life. Legolas, Silvan, knows all the shit that his guy did: Oh, the Fish Guy! Hey! ヾ(＾ ∇ ＾) Erestor, the Fish Guy: ... hello

Elrond, adorable ray of sunshine who absolutely could, if he so wished, destroy continents: 

Adar, painfully aware of this:

Do u see the vision

“The face of Elrond was ageless, neither old nor young, though in it was written the memory of many things both glad and sorrowful. His hair was dark as the shadows of twilight, and upon it was set a circlet of silver; his eyes were grey as a clear evening, and in them was a light like the light of stars. Venerable he seemed as a king crowned with many winters, and yet hale as a tried warrior in the fullness of his strength. He was Lord of Rivendell and mighty among both Elves and Men.” - The Fellowship of the Ring.

“He was as noble and as fair in face as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves, and as kind as summer.” - The Hobbit.

“So like was she in form of womanhood to Elrond [...] Young she was and yet not so. The braids of her dark hair were touched by no frost and the light of stars was in her bright eyes, grey as a cloudless night; yet queenly she looked, and thought and knowledge were in her glance, as of one who has known many things that the years bring [...] Arwen, daughter of Elrond, in whom it was said that the likeness of Lúthien had come on earth again; and she was called Undómiel, for she was the Evenstar of her people.” - The Fellowship of the Ring

“I believed you to be indeed Lúthien Tinúviel, of whom I was singing. But if you are not she, then you walk in her likeness.” - The Return of the King, Appendix A, ‘The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen’.

“Keen, heart-piercing was her song as the lark that rises from the gates of night and pours its voice among the dying stars, seeing the sun behind the walls of the world; and the song of Lúthien released the bonds of winter, and the frozen waters spoke, and flowers sprang from the cold earth where her feet had passed [...] the woods echoed the name.” - Silmarillion

Lay of Leithian:

“Light of stars was in her hair, and in her raiment glimmering” - note that the physical forms of Valar and Maiar are compared to raiments, so it could be her very form that glimmers in the dappled starlight.

“Her hair like shadow following” as she moves.

When Beren saw her, “enchantment healed his weary feet”

“Feet as light as linden-leaves”

“At her feet was strewn a mist of silver quivering” as she dances under the moon.

“Her song released the sudden spring, like rising lark, and falling rain, and melting water bubbling. He saw the elven-flowers spring about her feet, and healed again.”

“In his arms lay glistening. As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair, the trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering. About him cast her shadowy hair and arms like silver glimmering.”

“grey as evening were her eyes [...] dark as shadow was her hair.”

So, Arwen is apparently both the spitting image of Lúthien and a perfectly genderbent Elrond, so we can assume that most of how they are described also applies to Elrond. Therefore:

Elrond’s hair is dark like shadows and twilight, probably braided, somehow contains starlight, floats behind him when he moves and surrounds him very romantically when he lies down.

His eyes are grey, compared to clear evenings and cloudless nights, and bright and sparkling with starlight.

His face is noble and fair, his skin is flawlessly smooth white or silver; he seems to glisten or glimmer, and moves lightly, and flowers sprout at his feet, and mist swirls around him when under the moon.

He seems both young and old, ageless and filled with memories both happy and sad.

His singing is so heart-breakingly lovely, it draws to mind larks, rainfall and bubbling water, bings hope at the edge of the Void and rises amongst doomed stars; it turns winter to spring, calls bodies of water to respond, and heals all weariness.

He’s a noble lord, venerable as a king, thoughtful, experienced and wise. He’s a mighty warrior in the height of his strength, and most importantly, as kind as summer.

Note that Arwen and Lúthien aren’t described as kind - oh Arwen is queenly and Lúthien turns winter to spring, but Elrond alone is kind as summer.

Y'all the worldbuilding is getting intense rn, I'm having so many thoughts, because Elrond is a mosaic of dozens of different people, so many facets and multitudes, and different people see different things in him. People see his starry grey eyes and dark hair and hear his Voice and think of Lúthien, think of Maglor. They see his braids and attribute it to Turgon’s preference for traditional styles rather than that well-known Fëanorian obsession. His gracious courtly manners are from Melian or Idril, though clearly taught by Maedhros, who learned from Finwë. His skills and wisdom and bearing are clearly passed down from any or all of the 20+ different kings, queens, lords and princesses he is associated with. He dances like Lúthien and Idril. He is as courageous as Fingon and Beren and Eärendil, as fierce in battle as Fingolfin and Maedhros and, Eru forbid, Fëanor. He speaks archaic Quenya, just like the Gondolindrim, if only one ignores the Fëanorian accent. His giggle is Elwing’s, birdlike and odd; his laugh is rich and merry like Finwë’s; that half-despairing chuckle is Beren’s; the endearingly awkward titter is Finarfin’s; the exhilarated whoop is Fingon’s; the manic mid-battle cackle is Fëanor through and through. He fights left-handed like Eärendil and Maedhros, plays the harp right-handed like Fingon and Finrod and Maglor; he can write with either hand, producing a spindly scrawl with his left (so like Maedhros, so like Elwing) and authoritative calligraphy with his right (so like Fëanor, so like Thingol). His eyes are the chasm of the heavens - he gets that from Melian - but did Maeglin not also inherit his piercing gaze from Aredhel? He has his father’s jaw and his mother’s hair, or was it Turgon’’s jaw and Finwë’s hair, or maybe those angular bones came from fair Nimloth and the little flick of a curl at his temple from Beren. In certain lights he’s the spitting image of Thingol - or was it Fingolfin? The tilt of his wrist is as bird-like and fragile as Dior’s, as graceful and deliberate as Idril’s. His cheeks dimple when he smiles, just like Fingon, and his eyes crease when his face softens with fondness, just like Tuor, who looks little like Haleth but in moments like this. When he’s concentrating, the furrow of his brow is Thingol’s and the lip between his teeth is Beren’s, who took after Bëor. That eyebrow raise brings to mind 15 different people, all of them dead. One may look at Elrond and see a lost loved one in his profile, until the light shifts just slightly and he becomes the one who killed them, before he turns his head just so and suddenly looks like a complete stranger. Elrond is a Silmaril of ghosts, each facet a memory, love and terror and awe and joy and grief reflected and refracted upon one another again and again, radiant, hypnotic, infinite.

Just thinking about that one extremely autistic trans homie who once gave me an excruciatingly detailed 40 minute infodump on the evolution of historical infantry firearms. I think he'd love to have a WWI McClintock Bangalore Torpedo gun attached to his person at all times - it'd really match the whole 'white British grandpa aesthetic' that he's somehow accidentally cultivated since the tender age of 15.

a silmkinkmeme prompt:

Silmarillion Kinkmeme prompt by Anonymous: Adar/Elrond - First Time Enjoying Sex is Dubcon. (RoP, Explicit, M/M, creator chose not to use archive warnings, no particular DNW for Elrond’s past relationships.) Elrond’s only ever been with lovers who are at best selfish and at worst abusive. Every time he’s had sex, it’s been painful. He had nothing to compare it to, he assumes this is just how it was supposed to be. When Adar takes him prisoner and makes it clear sex will earn Elrond better treatment, Elrond expects it to be even worse than he’s used to. But Adar treats him gently and makes it physically pleasurable. (Bonus if Elrond says something that makes Adar realise all this and Adar is disturbed. Because he knows he’s not a good person, and he knows that it’s wrong to use Elrond’s position to coerce him into sex… so wtf is wrong with the elves for treating Elrond worse than the Lord Father of the Uruks?)

I really like this one, which is bizarre because I. haven't gotten round to actually. watching? RoP? Like I've read To Partake (x) and a handful of Adarond fics but in general I have absolutely no idea what I'm taking about. I'm not sure anything I write will turn out like anon wanted because I'm basically an illiterate three year old waving around someone else's action figures but I'm guaranteed to have a great time so let's do it.

As with all things, let's start with tequila orange juice and gratuitous world building, and we'll see where we end up!

Maglor “educating” Elros and Elrond

finally some viola rep

Where does Tom Bombadil fall on this scale?? I want to say directly on top of simps for wife.

Fëanor *dissolves into smoke bc the world couldn't handle him*

Vs

Bilbo Baggins "GOODBYE" *disappears entirely*

Fight!!

im sorry but i only heard "There once was an elf from tirion Who slew many elves in sirion" as the start of a limerick???

There once was an elf from Tirion Who slew many elves in Sirion; Seeing who died, In grief, he cried: "Curse those damn rocks - we're sick of 'em!"

there once was an elf from tirion who slew many elves in sirion

I am in love with this how have i never seen it before???

Colour or no colour? Which is better?

Initial sketches of Erestor… plan to add colour at some point…

Top left: a peaceful moment.

Top right: the third kinslaying. Erestor is having the worst day ever.

Bottom left: he and Gil-Galad have a silent but very intense game of fashion one-upmanship going on, and Erestor plays to win. Courtiers swoon left and right. Sauron trembles before his resting bitch face.

Bottom right: casual mode. The hair hides secrets. 8,000 years of secrets, in fact.

In fics, people often use the Quenya for adult male/female: 'the nér did this' or 'the nís said that' which is... fine, I guess? Tolkein did use them in some of his translations to mean man/woman in a non-species-specific kind of way... and this is completely irrational but to me it still sometimes comes across as directly calling someone a 'male' or a 'female'... like, technically, yes? But also wtf?

Anyway. Sindarin doesn't have a clear equivalent that I can see...

(Also nís is sometimes níssë - still singular, means exactly the same thing, idfk why)

Can 2025 maybe be the year we as a fandom finally stop using the term 'she-elf', which was invented for the Jackson movies and comes across as intentionally derogatory?

Tolkien himself referred to female elves as 'women' or 'elven-women' or similar.

Fellas I have committed an oopsie

I in my ignorance assumed

That the train on the right platform at the right time would be the right train

Wrong!

I got on board sat down for a nap and now I am in Oxford?????

Did anyone else watch this show obsessively as a kid? Bc I did and Sauron as Pingu is a fabulous image that I’m never going to get out of my head.

Sauron seeing Elrond for the first time and having war flashbacks to Lúthien: