Latest Posts by gaywineauntsstuff - Page 8

Bro this whole discourse over who would be a republican/ a trumpie in the dc verse is so stupid imo bc we have so much canon info

Batfamily: none of them have been even vaguely conservative since the 90s, infact they’re all pretty far left with Bruce being the most center because he trusts one (1) cop. (Oooh but dick was a cop, yes as an infiltration tactic until he realized they were too corrupt -he was also like 19-20 during this time- to fix and canonically doesn’t work with them at all as a rule)

Bruce rebuilds his city pro bono like twice a year and single handedly funds like 80% of their social welfare, it’s also canon he refers goons to the nearest Wayne enterprise and gets them hired if Batman knows they’re just their bc they’re struggling

Arrows: NEVER INSULT OLIVER QUEEN IN MY FACE EVER AGAIN. This man is 50% a communist 50% Bernie sanders biggest fan depending on the media.

This man would never be a republican ignoring the arrowverse like it’s actually canon that Ollie won’t shut up about politics

Superfam: … the illegal alien who has to hide the fact he’s different from everyone else in a small town…. Hmmm maybe Kon is conservative if you’re blind, deaf and a little slow, Jon has a pink haired boyfriend and is besties with a middle eastern/south Asian kid actually so let’s not?

Clark Canonically hates the KKK you think he’d be part of the party whose candidate was endorsed by them??

Flashes: Barry Allen is a conservative, Wally west was when he was younger but he’s been pretty liberal since he became as adult, Wallace has never been conservative (TV Barry you will always be the most likeable Barry)

Lanterns: Hal Jordan is a Conservative, the rest are in fact not

Wonder Woman collective: Diana??? Donna??? Artemis?? Cassie??? None of the above don’t be dumb

Anyway it’s pretty hard to have a heroic character who doesn’t believe in social welfare? Since they’re running around saving people for free and 99% of them are anti killing. + having characters be sexist, racist and/or homophobic makes them less likable objectively and also narrows down the amount of stories you can tell.

I wanna apologize to anyone who’s been keeping up with any of my fics and wips. The ao3 authors curse has gotten me. I have been falling in and out of fevers for a while and I can barely speak + my vision is so blurry I’m looking at the world through a kaleidoscope.

I’m so sorry if any of yall have been waiting/looking forward to anything I’ve written

I love her so much wtf

Genshin Impact | Photo of the HoYoverse team's resident cat

(From PlayStation Blog)

I agree with this but I’m gonna elaborate why we focus on Jason’s death so much

There used to be a common phrase

“No one in comics stays dead except for Bucky, Jason Todd, and Uncle Ben.”

Dick has died during crisis events

Tim in elseworld, crisis worlds, alternate universes

Damian and Cass were revived within a year or two of their deaths

Bruce has never died without the entire universe resetting (time stream doesn’t count)

But Jason’s death wasn’t only a long term choice

It was a vote

People hates this kid so much they killed him off on a vote

There was never the expectation that he would come back, much less grow up.

It’s also one of the only times DC actually revived a character WELL.

Because Donna Troy came back that the same time right? And we never talk about her.

Jason’s death isn’t the interesting part

It’s the fact that he came back

His death was such a fundamental part of his character that his life is startling

(Until he was rewritten his death was also the most interesting he did lol)

Anyway I still think he’s a loser (affectionate)

ok guys i have a DC/batfam opinion that i might be jumped for ☹️☹️

DC and DC fans milk jason’s death SO bad. like don’t get me wrong, he’s a very interesting character and i like him and appreciate his story arc, but damian, cass, tim, stephanie, bruce, alfred, richard and (i think?) duke have literally all died. damian and cass especially, i think like 3 times each? and alfred is literally actively dead like why are we not shedding light on this. i get that jason dying was literally his whole character but oh my gosh it’s actually NOT that serious. “pit madness, pit madness! joker warehouse blah, blah, blah!!” OH MY GOSHH WE GET IT. HE LITERALLY DIED IN THE 80S, CAN WE JUST NOT?? 😭🙏

and we don’t even acknowledge literally everyone else’s death(s) even a little. every single robin has died, SEVERAL TIMES. i hate to be the one to tell you, but jason todd is not special even a little bit. 🙏

In honor of thanksgiving (which is where you give people thank you notes? Idk I’m not American)

What each Batkid is thankful for this year

Dick: Donna Troy being alive and the fact that Bruce was mind controlled and Dick got to punch him

Jason: saw Dick punch Batman

Tim: his very heathy, very cute relationship

Damian: he finally got to replace all the colors on the Robin suit, black, gray and orange it is!

Steph: saw Dick punch Batman

Cass: fought wonder woman

Duke: his mom isn’t insane anymore

Or

Dick: punched Bruce

Jay: saw Dick punch Bruce

Tim: Recorded it

Damian: pretended he didn’t see it

Steph: posted video on clock app and made t-shirts

Cass: did not like Dick punching Bruce

Duke: reposted Steph’s TikTok

YALL DONT UNDERSTAND

My favorite part of Bruce and Dicks relationship isn’t the unending loyalty and devotion and the self assured destruction of loving a man who hates himself on Dicks part and using an eternally flying man as a your stable ground on Bruce’s part

It’s not the adoration that feels like shackles or the unending trust that feels like raking hot coals over your back

It’s the fact that Dick Grayson will always love Bruce Wayne

And also

Always want to kick the absolute shit out of him

Violently

Like Dick has pent up rage and we see him lash out at people but almost never has he ever attacked any loved ones physically with the exception of Roy Harper after the women who they both loved more than life itself passed.

But with Bruce?

Yeah no

Dick not only hits to hurt

He hits with the aim of getting Bruce down and keeping him there.

It feels like vindication to him

He borderline revels in it

I mean look at the hits he landed during the Gotham War run or Forever Evil/Spyral

And then there’s Bruce

Who knows

Because he is not an idiot

And he knows he fucked up with Dick more than the rest as Robin (nothing can really compare to how he treats Jason as the red hood)

But do you think Batman feels guilt over the fact that Dick HAS this much rage and bitterness over the things Bruce has done

Like Dick in unendingly Kind and forgiving but he’s also and pardon my French, a dick (lowercase) so he absolutely holds resentment over the stuff Bruce did to him even if it’s water under the bridge in his day to day

But he’s still mad

He’s still mad over the loss of Robin

The gauntlet

The death of Jason Todd

The court of the owls

The reveal of Damian Wayne

The fact that Dick had to be Batman

The fact that Bruce died

The fact that Bruce told Dick he never should’ve been Batman

The fact that dick had to continue the cycle of orphans raising orphans

(no he doesn’t count Talia as a parent cuz then he’d have to view her as human and human life has value and in his opinion she has no value and should go find a nice comfy corner to die in like an old cat)

The fact that he was basically pushed into a pseudo father role with all the kids past Jason

Letting him kill the Joker

Bringing the joker back to life

Damian’s death

Steph’s fake death

Spyral

Losing his memories and leaving Dick alone at spyral

Showing Dick a video of him getting shot in the head when he’s mentally a 12 year old and also an amnesiac

And about 6 million other heart wrenching things

So yeah Dick hits to hurt and those times where Bruce has lost control (mind control, clone, fight etc) and Dick has Carte Blanche to cause harm to Bruce

He

Does

No one

Not a single being

My brain at any given moment: polycule titans

Polycule titans polycule titans polycule titans polycule titans polycule titans polyculetitanspolyculetitanspolyculetiyanspolyculettans hejehehwhrhrjeieheudjhejdjdusjd

AND THIS IS WHY THE

“I need distance from you this is toxic” fics don’t work (I however love them plz send me some)

Because

They will try to murder each other, beat each other bloody, torture each other.

They’ll degrade each other publicly and ruin each others lives

Then they’ll go for a burger together

Bro every time Bruce fucks up Dick sneaks metal blocks into boxing gloves while switching between excitedly whistling and humming “the bat is going down the bat is going down, I smash his face in every place the bat is going down”

Jason stole dicks costume (nightwing this time) and murdered people in New York with it. Risking Dicks at the time only healthy relationship (Clark Kent) then stole back his Robin costume (scaly green short shorts and all) and went to beat to death the other Robin and write shit on the walls in blood

Everything Tim Drake has said to Stephanie brown would get any man punched, bound and publicly whipped. And the shit he said to dick During battle for the cowl??? he was 80% of the way through reanimating John Graysons corpse to tell dick he was disappointed in him throughout that whole arc. And everything that ever happened during the Red Robin run is not only added to shit that we apparently needed in the Geneva convention but assumed it would be common sense and people wouldn’t do it

Damian: tried to kill every

Single

One

Of

His

Siblings

And not only are all of them friendly to each other

Not only do they team up

No no they fucks hang out

Like willingly text each other and go ‘hey let’s get a burger’

I need to talk to people who like the same flavor of batfam dynamics as me. Dysfunctional but loving, maybe to the point the rest of the fandom gives us side eye. I'm talking platonic BD/SM, them overprotective over each other.

Those type of fics of the non con threats without anything actually happening.

Where do I find my people

Don’t argue with me and I refuse to elaborate

BatBrats as hozier songs

Dick:

-Angel of small death and the codeine scene

-empire now

Jason:

-take me to church

-eat your young

Tim:

-it will come back

Here is where the I won’t elaborate is the the strongest

-too sweet

Damian:

-arsonists lullaby

- shrike

Kind of ironic how one of Xie Lian's titles is "The god-pleasing crown prince" when the one thing he does consistently without fail is piss off the Heavenly Emperor.

Dick Grayson wanted to be a contortionist when he grew up rotating his head 180 degrees while keeping body in the same crawling position on the ceiling: what's wrong... are you scared of me

*most creepy Annabel-esque laugh you've ever heard god abandoned us as soon as it was unleashed*

Robin whose mouth didnt move:

Goon:

Villain:

God:

Heros:

Batman: you see why he has a leash now?

Robin bats eyelashes thru mask:

Goon: ... I... can the whites move?

Batman: usually no

Goon: then... how?

Robin:... 7

Goon: wha? seven what?

Robin beginning to move on the ceiling: 6

Robin: 5

I love it when people draw Robin!Dick as a little creepy unsettling child like yes he embodies the blue eyed stare and moves in ways humans were never meant to move in and he never really grew out of it. Like the bright colours, the flips and the quips are so deceiving he’s so unsettling in the way no other Robin could quite replicate. I just know every criminal breathed a sigh of relief when he finally outgrew the tights.

Hi,

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✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #301 )✅️

tikram 3anik

allah yes3edkon wa ma tinso inno na7na ma3akon

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

I love how the search function on this site is absolute garbage. I can look up a post word for word and I will NEVER find it

Because I am gay (see name above) all of my favs are gay but because dc are cowards and refuse to admit that yeah having a character damn near exclusively date redheaded friends and then making both his male close friends redheads is a lil suspicious

I have simply decided that Dick is openly bi and no one has realized it in the universe.(Titans -core 9- and Clark Kent excluded)

So here picture this.

They’re all at a diner/batburger/ wherever they chill as civilians. Are they doing important stuff, working on cases, shooting the shit, your choice- I’m lazy.

And it’s practically empty bc none of them have normal schedules and so yeah you can have lunch at 4:45am that’s a normal time to eat.

And some dude walks in and Dick just straight up freezes for a sec before hiding under the table. The dude orders to go and fucks off.

Dick gets back up and does a cartoonish ‘phew’ bc he’s extra

Jason: yo what the fuck was that

Dick: what the fuck was what?

Tim: that- you hiding under the table of our booth??

Dick: oh that

Steph: no shit worlds third greatest detective

Jason: yeah you saw that dude and freaked, I once saw you laugh in banes face and use his forearm as a jungle gym? What gives?

Dick: oh come on! You’ve never wanted to avoid an ex??

*cue spit take from character of your choice*

Steph: AN EX?!?

Dick:??? Yes

Tim looks like he’s seeing god himself parting the clouds, giving him a view of the sun

Jason is just giving Dick the how did I not know this what the fuck dude how could you not tell me stare

Dick looks at each of them: what did you think I only dated babs and Kori?? I have a life outside of our night job?? Right? Like I’ve dated many people who still don’t know what I do at night?

Steph: no do how could you not tell us about H.I.M

Dick: I mean he wasn’t really all that…nice by the time we hit the three month mark and we didn’t have much in common outside of a shared hobby

Tim who was a closeted bisexual for 5 years realizing his first ever idol the first ever Robin also liked boys: .... you dated him for three months?? when?

Dick: I don't know we broke up like 2 months ago

Steph: How was I not aware of this information??

Dick: im sorry would you like detailed information about my sex life??

Jason, traumatised:.... so when I was Robin, you and roy weren't wrestling in the bathrooms..

Dick:.....

Tim:.....

Steph:.....

Dick: yeah Jay no shit?!?

Tim: so you and Wally... were not playing Jenga when I visited

Dick:... you are adults yes? you realise that I as an adult was not going to tell twelve year olds that I was getting laid?

Steph: Dickie DIckie baby.... we knew you were fucking

Tim: true

Jason: unfortunately

Steph: we just didn't know you were also fucking men

Dick:....

Dick massaging his temples: okay so.... you know I have a thing for redheads and I notoriously befriend my exes.

Tim: yep

Jason: mhm

Dick: and none of you thought for a second that my two redheaded best friends who both have a type aka Dark haired and can do a backflip... and just decided we were totally Hetero besties

Steph: yeahhh I mean...

Tim weakly: you guys just seem

Jay: like friends

Dick deadpan: Lian still calls me dad sometimes and Wally and Linda keep asking me to swing or join a throuple.

steph: fully believed they were joking high key tho

Dick: okay, okay... so the way that I talk about Joey Wilson... just didn't tell you anything?

Jay: okay that one... was my bad actually y'all were hella gay

Tim: hey! that's no fairrr we werent there

Dick: you broke into my house Tim, you literally stalked me

Tim: that's not the same and you know it.

Fanon Tim Drake: everyone hates me, my entire family has abandoned me and they will all rue the day that they abandoned me. The only one who truly understands me is the red hood because he too was abandoned I haven’t slept in 3 months 2 weeks 11 days and 21 hours

Canon Tim Drake: wow this dude is hardcore goth

Also canon Tim: *fell asleep on a rollercoster*

Also canon Tim: *actually reaches out for help when he needs it*

Also canon Tim: *doesnt resent Dick Grayson for taking away Robin*

Also canon Tim:*mocks Jason Todd violently bc wtf was that Robin costume*

Listen any normal human should and would act like fanon Tim but I fear this is the bat family they try to murder each other and then go get burgers together.

It’s their deal

Canon Tim is a funny lil guy

I love canon Tim sm

Let him be happy

If yall RUIN CANON TIM FOR ME like Tom Taylor did canon Grayson I will never forgive you

Sometimes I feel like us as the bat family fandom forget how starry eyed people get about Nightwing canonically.

Because with the exception of early era Tim most of the Batkids are like. lol that’s my loser older brother or some variation of yeah…he’s some guy I guess? He helps me with homework?

And Nightwing is the canonically a center of multiversal light.

When Heroes meet Nightwing they do the vigorous handshake and the “it’s an honor to meet you sir, I have heard so much about you oh my god”

There are so many character where they are literally shown giggling and kicking their feet whenever Nightwing talks to them.

Even the people who don’t have the celebrity level worship of him respect the hell out of him and call him as soon as they need help.

From raven to Starfire to Superman to Superboy to all or the flashes there is so much respect and awe given to this one dude.

And it is deserved

But imagine you are Damian Wayne and you’ve been working with what 90% of the people you’ve met (all bats) have been calling an embarrassment to your father’s legacy.

Your mother hates him and your Grandfather doesn’t feel that strongly about him.

The red hood calls him an embarrassment and a coward and he couldn’t even keep Red Robin from running away.

Your father tells him that he never should have been Batman

And you’ve worked with him and you know what you think everyone is full of shit about him and you and him the new Batman and Robin are the best no matter what anyone says.

And fuck it the fact he keeps going in a suit that everyone tells him he’s not good enough for is scratching something in your brain that you’re refusing to acknowledge because why would you feel that way? You are the circus freak have nothing in common (shut up)

And then you meet the justice league and all the extended teams.

And people are falling over themselves to listen to a word out of your brothers, your Batman’s mouth. They wait for a nod or headshake and dictate decades worth of planning on it.

Both Drake and Todd’s hero teams ask him for advice with or without their designated bats presence.

The man of steel asks for child rearing advice and wonder woman cracks a joke about a spar

Newer heroes whisper about him in the halls

He’s literally your favorite hero’s favorite hero

And it’s breaking Damian’s Brain

Because well… he kinda gets slapped around in Gotham. He’s the butt of half the jokes the other Batkids make and Dick just smiles and takes it.

The rogues have a bounty on nightwings ass and he gets leered at by goons, rogues, civilians and anti-hero’s alike and he doesn’t say anything.

He lets oracle crack jokes about a pretty face and having to do everything herself

Let’s Jason run the alley despite the fact that apparently he knows how to take it back

Apparently he’s had 12 people tailing Drake since Paris and despite being the man Ra’s Al Ghul calls detective has yet to notice. (Because you can’t tell me Dick was just magically at the right place to catch Tim falling to his death on coincidence)

And necessary to peace talks because he’s the best they have at deescalation

Like imagine you are a child who was raised to believe power is this obvious, all consuming thing. That the ones who control the board are visibly larger than life figures who fought their way to the top and cling to power by even the thinnest hangnail if they had to.

People who ignore simpler morals or an overall greater goal or good

And then you’re taken in by the man who whispers the correct answers into the larger than life figures ear.

Like I feel like that would have such an impact because Dick didn’t take power from anyone to reach his goals, it’s why his siblings don’t really defer to him unless in crisis.

Dick didn’t take power, no people just looked at him and decided he was the best option to give it to.

Everyone basically looked at this kid and went, yeah you’re the future of all heroism.

And if that dude can’t even get Bruce Wayne’s respect what chance does Damian Wayne have

Yall I have like 40 wips rn and I need to finish one of them but I have indecision paralysis and am now just playing genshin impact instead of anything on my to do list.

Dc slapping Dick Grayson on the top of the head: this bastard can hold so many different personalities.

Dc slapping Bruce Wayne on the head: this bastard can hold so much angst

Dc slapping Damian Wayne on the head: this bastard can hold so

So

Many

Issues

Dc slapping Jason Todd on the head: mommy issues? Yeah all of them! Right here baby! It’s a 4 for one deal!

Get out of my dms I will not be your peer-reviewer ANYMORE !!! I QUIT !!!

Beta-read my cringe-fail angst or else

DC comics are so exaggerated to the point that very talented writers cringe writing fanfiction for it

Because what do you mean a human 170pound 5’10 man survived falling from a building by tucking and rolling

Or that same 170 pound man’s best PR being 1000 kilograms

Or like

How did a character break his back and within a year return to business as usual

Or

How does a 10 year old have more general knowledge of the world than most members of the justice league

Like?

I have seen so many phenomenal fanfiction writers struggle with the batfamily because in their mind 2 months of torture is enough to brainwash and mind control them.

Which like yeah….sure

Except that it’s not

Like canonically all of them can shake of torture for longer than that

Or like a near drowning experience or after holding their breath for 3-4 mins

Like that above human capability

But I fear

All of them can go for 7+ mins

The their stats are broken

Or like 2 characters will speak in a language and another character won’t know it.

Dick Grayson has never had a language he previously knew stripped away and they introduce a couple new ones every few years I’m like 80% sure we’re in the mid-20s early 30s for those.

Or

Crowbar sounds are triggering for Jason

Jason wearing a bomb helmet and using a crowbar as a weapon Todd

Character could instantly tell something was wrong with the other

…every member of the batfamily at any given moment

“I am numb I feel nothing focus on the mission I am numb don’t show anything focus on the mission I am numb I don’t feel anything focus on the mission I am numb I don’t-“

Like I love my angst

But Tim had his WHOLE fucked up Red Robin run and proceeded to go fuck it we ball after

Dick Grayson: parentified eldest child who loves his family too much to cut contact, will willing drain 1/2 his blood and take a possibly deadly vaccine if it means his dad is okay

Jason Todd: black sheet child who resents the elder sibling for willingly ruining himself for a man who will not bend his belief to accommodate a child he claims to love

Tim: well fuck the parent pushed the eldest child too far and he’s little to no contact now (I didn’t even know you could do that?) now the parent is self destructing… i guess it’s my turn to be the emotional support child

Damian: youngest child, borderline raised by eldest sibling, internal conflict of this is your parent vs this is the man that raised you and instilled/cemented the moral beliefs you try so hard to maintain in you.

Tag yourself

Listen the ‘Bruce brought dick in to stop him killing Zucco” is fun

You know what’s more fun

The fact that Dick Grayson is the fundamental opposite of Jokers one bad day

Because he was 9 and insane

Jokers “all it takes is one bad day” meet Dick Grayson also terminally insane but in the opposite direction.

(“I had a bad day not a fan, it’s illegal now”

“Chum murder is already illegal”

“Yeah in the eyes of the law, but who follows that! I’ve decided it’s illegal for people to have bad days”

“You have to follow laws Dick. You have to”

“Says the man getting shot at by the cops bc he dresses as a giant bat monster and fights crime using ancient martial arts”

“Hnnng”

“Anyway it’s illegal now, people suffering I have decided and I’m adorable so what I say goes!”

Bruce pinching bridge of nose “Dick you can’t save everyone and change every person you meets life”

“How about! No!”

“Di-“

“Great talk Bruce! Bye bye now!”)

Like when I say Dick Grayson was the crazy Robin I don’t mean he was aggressive or cruel

No I mean this man would not be out of place in Lewis Carol’s Alice in wonderland.

He’d see all the insane shit in Gotham and go ‘that makes perfect sense’ and continue on his merry way

Like he’s the type of kid who when he’s mad at Bruce for sidelining him on a fight against the joker (and making him fight Harley)

Will pull out a chessboard, grab Harley Quinn and go “I win, you get arkhamed you win we fight”

“Kid-“

“I have a gymnastics competition coming up and I wanna show up this douche in my class- you are not breaking my legs before then. Sit down. Play chess”

“Shit kid why didncha say so”

Why does he wanna fight the Joker who will objectively injure him far more throughly

“Well it’s simple math, I grew up in a circus, I like clowns, he is the biggest disgrace to clownery I’ve ever seen bet he didn’t even go to clown college. Doesn’t even have any iconic makeup, he just has toxic waste skin?? Like not even eye makeup or a red nose?? If you wanna do thematic crime do it right? Anyway it’s my legal obligation to try at any given moment to reck the embarrassment to all things goofy and funs shit.”

—————

Bruce looking for his 9 year old ward who was kidnapped as Robin

Dick hanging upside down on semi sentient vine gesturing wildly at poison Ivy who is nodding empathically

“And the water here is not normal!! Like how do you grow plants! I used to have to take care of plants all the time and now if I water them they rot! Like right in front of me!!? And I feel so bad but?? It’s water?? Please drink it?? Mr plant”

“Oh yeah it’s because of all the toxic ace chemicals in the water, you have to triple filter it. Honestly Robin I’m disappointed, your plants should be drinking the same water as you”

“ they do tho!”

“You…drink… Gotham tap water? Batman lets you drink Gotham tap water?”

“Well no… he always tells me to use the filter but I like the tap water!! Sometimes it’s fun colors and spicy”

“oh… oh that explains so much about you..”

“No he just came like that.”

“Oh HI B I was asking miss Dr.ivy why my plants keep dying”

“Robin don’t consort with villains”

“Miss Dr. Ivy you’re a doctor right”

Poison Ivy who is violently amused “PHD not MD but yeah I am”

“So you’re smart”

“Yeasss”

“Cool!…. What does consort mean?”

————-

Annoys the riddler by going with the most out of pocket technically true answer

Think “a sparrow with a shotgun”

———-

Makes the Jokers goons laugh, louder than the joker. Even while under threats of death by sufficiently wacky murder plot

———-

(This is all a joke)

I love the Dick is pushing thirty and all the Batkids tease him about it and he’s dramatic. But what’s infinitely funnier is in the Robin story (the one illustrated by piccolo) Dick looks young enough to go undercover as a student in highschool.

Which means that Dick with a little bit of effort can pass for 17-19

Which means Jason ‘drawn like a 40 year old whose doing 20 to life in prison built like a brick shithouse’ Todd

Definitely looks older at 23 than Dick does at 27

And so the boys get their licks in and Dick does his howls moving castle let me lie on a bed dramatically like an 18th century women fainting

Calls Kori like ‘babe be honest am I too old for you, do I need Botox? HAVE YOU SEEN A GRAY HAIR PLEASE’ on speaker in front of the Batkids because honestly it’s a funny joke.

And then they go to a bar

And Dick gets ID checked

At 27

He’s been a hero for 19 years

He just got fucking ID checked at the bar

And then when they get into the bar

Jason gets called sir

And he gets called Dude

Because he looks barley legal apparently

And that’s even fucking worse

How is it everyone can laugh at him for being old and HE DOESNT EVEN GET OLD MAN PERKS.

HE HAS OLD MAN BONES, THEY SOUND LIKE HE NEEDS WD-40 (what do you mean that because of the 23 years of intense acrobatics and the 19 years of punching People, and carpel tunnel inducing precision shut up)

And Jason finds it even funnier until dick desperately asks how old the barkeep thinks he is and the dude goes like “idk 21? Barely”

And Jay laughs until the dude went “yeah I mean you look like a kid whose uncle is taking him here for his first drink”

And Jason cuts the laugh mid HA and goes “excuse me?”

Anyway now Dick if finding it funny again

It stops being funny all together when he’s the only one to get ID’d on Tims 21st birthday

Because Tim is 4’0 (it’s only a 3 INCH HEIGHT DIFFERENCE dICK)

And has baby fat on his cheeks at 21 and he can still pitch his voice into an androgynous or fem voice.

(Tim paid the bar keep to do this, he’s stirring shit)

I think the only time I have ever called my brother akhi is as a joke.

However I will say I am a stereotype and habibi, hubi, albi, hayati all leave my mouth when I am talking to loved ones (familial, platonic and romantic) but

Damian can’t really use these because not only are they sugar sweet

My love, my heart, my life (translations)

But also because they’re usually used from older to younger in a family context it’s not an explicit thing but with sibling relationships it’s very rare for the younger sibling to use these terms even in formal situations.

However do I believe that Dick would absolutely call Damian random pet names bc he thinks it’s funny how Damian flushes- yeah absolutely

DAMIAN HOWEVER would use Arabic to say shit that you cannot get away with in English

And he’d be fucking visceral

“عقل يخرا، و طيز تفكِّر" your brain shits and your ass thinks

‘I wanna hang your mothers pussy on a laundry rack and let it rain dicks’ is one we as a society do not use enough ‘بدي إنشر كس إمك عحبل الغسيل و خلي الدنيا تشتّي إيورة’

Tell me he wouldn’t???

Also Talia would absolutely call Damian Ya Rouhi instead of like habibi

And yeah mama, would absolutely come before ibny

This is just a mini info dump from an Arab batfamily fan because I find Damian calling his siblings Akhi... adorable (for me as a native speaker watching a writer use Arab words) and, not painful, just... itchy, it URGES me to make a pptx with 300 slides and just? Talk about Arabic?

So... أخي, Akhi, Brother.

It's not incorrect. The word is used in the right place and delivers its intended meaning. Other Arab speakers might not find a problem with it. They'd feel odd like I did but will likely go "eh" and carry on. But I'm an Arabic enthusiast, so...

Like with every language with geographically widespread users, the Arabic tongue kind of- deviated from its roots. The language has naturally branched out into so many dialects I myself can't keep track of.

Arabs from different regions can understand each other. They use the same words but for different purposes and with different pronunciations.

The original root language that holds them all (Quranic Arabic) was simplified into an easier, standard version that is used for formal speeches and as a communication bridge (seeing that you can't, say, translate something to Arabic and say it's for all Arabs if you use a certain dialect. Because an Arabic dialect is an identity at this point, tell me somebody is Syrian, and I know them already)

Now, with the fun part.

See, no Arab calls any sibling of theirs Akhi, I myself would burst laughing if mine did.

Yakhoi يَخوي (nonstandard, everyday Arabic for o, brother) , maybe, if I'm calling a stranger from the streets or an offender I'm going to give a piece of my mind.

Or, hold your breaths, my brother is crying, and the lights are out and I NEED to use the tenderest, most loving, most adoring, most revering tone I could muster so he just knows he is loved and family. Y'know? This specific situation.

And other Arabs might just say, no, I use it when, I use it when, I don't use it, etc.

The point is, nobody will mention Akhi. Because it's a Standard Arabic word, a formal word, and a word used in translated texts and stories when a foreign character we don't consider part of us call their brother. It's weird, it's devoid of emotions, and it's like watching a robot trying to be emotional, but it's a translated text. That's what translated texts use, and it's fine.

It is fine, Standard Arabic has been used for stories so much that nobody questions its influence on a character's characterisation.

I'm not saying Standard Arabic shouldn't be used for story writing, quite the opposite, in fact. I'm just saying that if Arabic is used to represent an Arab, its usage should also consider an everyday Arab experience and manners.

Now to Damian.

Akhi is robotic. Damian's personality does allow him to fall under that category. If for his well refined manners and polite, formal speech.

But even the King wouldn't call his brother Akhi.

He'd call him by his name. For my community (and most, I'm sure) siblings are called by their names, and if we look up historic Quranic (Root) Arabic speakers, they, too, call their siblings by their name. Yes, even the Sultan.

If not by actual name, then either endearing or demeaning names.

Arabs LOVE endearing names, but they're dipped in a pool of honey I don't think Damian would like to dive in.

Talia, on the other hand, would most certainly call Damian Mama. Arab parents call their kids by their own titles. It's the ultimate expression of parental love of all times, in my opinion.

(Don't make Batman call him Papa, though. Pretty sure Damian would malfunction)

-

Well, I said all that, but watching writers include Arabic words in his vocabulary is still sweet. Tt is not even a word, but it's such an Arab thing it's my favourite.

If only I could make subtitles of everyday Arab talk and show you, their speech is heavy with, excuse my English, word softeners, it's like they're talking in a TV drama and not the real world.

Watching Damian adopting it would be interesting :D

Listen I love the ‘dicks being ostracized from his family and self destructs’ trope in fics however

I would like an inverse just once (I could write it but I want this fic to be good so I can enjoy it and I am not the greatest writer) where everyone blows up at him and flat out lays into him and he just goes… okay… if that’s how you feel?

Takes himself off of the patrol routes and rosters. He’s off the emergency calls and his ‘call for city wide emergency’ has been down graded to ‘call for world wide emergency’ he’s no longer on comms with oracle

He stops offering assistance to the other kids teams, doesn’t send info for investigation and doesn’t go within 100feet of Gotham.

Takes himself off the den-mother, baby sitter, trainer for all the younger teams lost that involve any and all bats

In the beginning he vacates his apartment and temporarily moves in with Donna in New York and things are good because of course they are. They’re Dick and Donna a world doesn’t exist where they aren’t okay.

And then his presence in New York leads to a lot of the og core five titans interacting and they realize that they miss each other like hell and start to work together more and more. Until news sites are like ‘teen titans grown up??’ ‘Original titans spotted doing hurricane aid in Florida!’

Because Dick loves his family but he knows when to bow out. And he chose the family he made in the new teen titans.

And then one day one of the bats track him down in nyc and breaks into what is now Dick and Donna’s apartment and are ready to argue that they need him back and need him there for a huge Gotham wide event.

And Dick says ‘sure okay let me get my stuff and we leave in half and hour’ as soon as the first sentence is out

No convincing or begging or asking for money (cough Jason cough)

Dick is patched into their comms and he’s working efficiently except he’s not… acting like himself.

He’s collaborating with whoever they tell him too, no problem, he’s discussing ideal plans and co-ops and teams and how to best get it under control.

But he’s talking to them the way he talks when he’s offering aid to teams he’s not a part of.

Like the hero version of an acquaintance and no one can call him out on it because he’s doing good work. Work that’s on par with his work before this whole fiasco. He explicitly isn’t letting their personal issues affect his work.

He’s speaking but not talking

And Bruce remembers this… he’s probably the only one who does because last time he was the only one included. The last time Dick acted like this is when he first visited Jason and him after he had been fired.

Whenever Bruce was in the room and Dick was forced to speak with him, the conversation never strayed past business casual especially around Jason.

Batman and Nightwing got into screaming matches

Bruce and Dick were strangers

And now they’re back to this, 7 kids later, a million ends of the world stopped, they’ve bled together, cried together and clung to each other in pure relief after they managed to clutch victory.

And Nightwing was treating Batman Inc like a new team stepping onto the scene.

Once they’ve secured everything and managed to keep Bruce from self destructing and making it worse. Dick just leaves and tells oracle that he’ll send over his debrief in 3-5 business days and it was nice working with them.

And then he’s gone

No cave, no manor, no Alfred, no med-bay because Dick doesn’t stay places he’s not welcome.

And after they all talk about that and how weird it was and Bruce reveals Dick did this before when he was Nightwing after Bruce fired, where Dick Grayson didn’t know Bruce Wayne.

And one of the kids asks when he broke and stopped the act and Bruce just says ‘the day he found out Jason died’

And the Batkids kinda freak bc what do you mean?? What is he only going to come back when someone dies? Thats not? There has to be another way?? And Bruce is like yeah no idea sorry (bc he’s helpful like that)

So then Steph the next day resolves to go visit him, Tim isn’t the only professional stalker. And she finds Dick and Donna’s apartment and well it’s daylight and she’s in civvies she’s if she climbs in through the window she might get reported to the NYPD and she doesn’t wanna get arrested or shot to door it is!

And so she goes and knocks and Dick opens the door and just lights up

Something something this is such a nice surprise something something it’s so good to see you.

Dick had taught Donna how to make some of his mother recipes when they were kids. So now whenever they’re together for a long time they cook together.

So Dick who is usually living in a cluttered apartment with no clean dishes and an exclusively grab and go food is now trying to force feed her some of his cooking.

Because he picked up the habit again since he’s the better cook between him and Donna.

And it’s delicious and he wants to catch up and hear everything that’s going on in her life, is she working with new people, dating anyone? How is her relationship with her mother etc etc.

It’s a nice day and she stays late and never confronts him on anything until she sees how long ago the sun set and she needs to get moving.

He hands her paper with his number and makes her promise not to give it to the others or she will lose access to it, he offers to help her on a conditional basis as nightwing but only her, she can call him about the rest if it’s an end of the world or they’re near death and need immediate aid.

And that’s like the fic because the key to winning nightwings assistance is like breathing (optional) but if you’re Dicks family you have to care or else. He’ll love you and help you, when you need it but he won’t tie his life up with yours, he’ll spend his time with people who value his opinion and the person behind the mask.

Anyway cue all the Batkids trying to do what Steph did and fail because they’re neurotic shits who think bonding involves doing casework together or a steak out.

(The next person to crack it is Damian, completely unintentionally he has a fight with Bruce and can’t ask him how the fuck he’s supposed to solve this equation in the new stupid way they’re teaching him no he can’t use the old method they’re supposed to show their work so he pulls up to Dick and Donna’s in a ratty ass hoodie like plz wtf do you mean you work top down explain Grayson- and dicks like awww no problem kid)

A list of my fav Dick Grayson with eldest daughter syndrome fics

As an eldest daughter there’s something so refreshing about Dick working through his familial trauma as well as all his other problems so here are some of my fav fics I’ve compiled over the past like week LMAO

1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/43704451/chapters/109898020

- such such such a good fic, i loved the exploration of dick’s trauma at spyral

2. https://archiveofourown.org/collections/DickGraysonsuffers/works/40771257

- absolutely loved this one shot,,, dick is always doing his best to play mediator because he’s known bruce the longest and understands his motives the most but playing mediator and understanding both sides is an exhausting task so i love the fact the author explored that here

3. https://archiveofourown.org/works/44614405

- another really good oneshot. This one is less eldest daughter syndrome and moreso exploring dick’s trauma after the catalina incident but if clark showed up right after. i think what i enjoyed most abt this fic was the vulnerability and numbness after the incident,,, def resonated with it to a degree and i liked dick and jason’s interactions, they felt realistic.

4. https://archiveofourown.org/works/41451366

- omg omg this author. This author. Phenomenal. I heavily encourage yall to read more of their stuff if you like this oneshot because all of their stuff is good. But this fic specifically was just so so so so good. I felt dick’s emotions and stress in this one,,,when you force yourself to carry the weight of your entire family’s emotional wellbeing—including your own—onto yourself, it weighs on you. So much so that its not unrealistic to go nonverbal. I just resonated a lot with this story and found that dick’s stress was extremely well written. Def one of my favs

5. https://archiveofourown.org/works/36497065/chapters/99737508#workskin

- this one. This is the favorite. It’s kind of lengthy but it’s so so so worth it. The spiraling (pun unintended) of dick’s mental wellbeing is written beautifully. Not to mention the core of the entire fic is dick wanting to get himself help, something that i think is incredibly important when writing abt mental health. Outside influences can only do so much and i found it really beautiful when dick finally found it in himself to stay just that much longer to check on damian. Also speaking of, the dick and damian parent/child relationship in this is just so so so good it hurts. fell in love with their dynamic in this one, especially with dick’s obsession with not letting damian carry all the weight of dick’s stress on his shoulders. That is peak eldest daughter syndrome and it was written phenomenally. Pls read this

EDIT** ADDED SOME NEW ONES

6. https://archiveofourown.org/works/36329323/chapters/90570550?view_adult=true

- this author is SO GOOD. Pretty sure ive already put another one of their fics on this list but this one is def my favorite of theirs. Just so so good

But also my favorite thing to do is incorporate Dicks fanon character into his canon one

Because he would

Dick, despite being one of the most competent, well known and respected members of the hero community

He Is famously easy to underestimate

Like cartoonishly so to the point where the people who do feel like idiots to us

He’s so easy to underestimate that people who are aware of his skill either by direct combat or receiving a file on it will proceed to violently underestimate his abilities.

The first 2 instances that come to mind are

-the fact that deathstroke let him train Rose because slade knows how good Dick is but somehow doesn’t clock that the man that he’s been fighting for I believe it was at least 4 years (depending on timelines and when you believe the blockbuster storyline happened in relation to Judas contract) would be capable of manipulating his daughter into turning against him

Spryal. There is literally a scene where Dick collects DNA evidence in front of Helena because he’s cracking jokes and using a lollipop to do it. Not only is it in front of Helena it’s also INFRONT OF MINOS.

he’s canonically so good and making you see things that aren’t there and not see things right in front of you that he was a prodigy with the Hypnos facial tech.

There are more I’m sure but those are the most memorable ones in my brain.

But it’s also pretty prominent in his dialogue vs internal monologue

Where is dialogue is very wise-cracking and punny (let’s not talk about the term nightwinging it) his internal monologue is far more analytical and if it isn’t it falls more along self critical or caustic sarcasm.

Dick Grayson is the character who is most likely to play into that fanon characterization of him anytime he is not in a position where he needs to be in charge.

Like Dick does use the fact that he has a pretty face and a nice smile and a strong moral viewing of right and wrong to trick people into thinking he’s naive and not definitelyyyy not outwitting them.

He’s talked about how he’s the nice bat and the friendly one who will stop for a chat but when he puts his foot down it better not be in your neck.

And he absolutely would play up technical incompetence and being poor at life skills if it made him easier to talk to giving him more access to information.

Especially among the more anti hero and broader hero communities.

I mean Dick is canonically talked about as the one you go to with your problems when he literally told people he has files on how to take them down and then proceeded to SHARE the files.

That’s how much trust he’s built up in his community.

Anyway that’s not the reason that the fanon characterization exists but it’s a reason I find it very interesting in general.

Like there is a TikTok series where the canon and fanon bats meet and I genuinely if Canon Dick met Fanon Dick he would absolutely steal some of those lines and use them next time he needs a morally ambiguous older man who understands he might be a challenge but seriously how big of a threat could nightwing be to underestimate him.

I’m about to ruin your guys day. Let’s talk about canon and fanon. Dick Grayson edition. I’ve realized that some people don’t actually know what’s canon and what’s fanon. (It’s okay to like what’s fanon more than what’s canon, but I want to clear some things up)

Cooking: Dick can actually cook! Literally everyone says that he can’t cook, but he can! He has cooked for his younger brother (Tim Drake) numerous times! I’m pretty sure he’s cooked with the Titans too.

Singing: Dick is one of the only batfam member’s who can sing. In fact Dick is good at literally everything. (Not EVERYTHING but he can do most things)

Kindness: Don’t get me wrong Dick is a sweetheart but some people make it seem like he’s sweet, in a very dumb way. My point is that he’s nice, but not to the extent people make it out to be.

Brothers: This has to do with Dick and Tim, but I still want to add it. Most people think that Tim’s favorite brother is Jason. This is not the case. Tim is the closest with Dick. After Jason died, whatever Dick didn’t do for Jason, he did for Tim. He even trained Tim.

Ps: Tim even grew up with Dick as Robin.

Batkids parenting

Dick: Dick treats his kids like they’re adults in terms of how he speaks to them. He’ll hold his 2 year old in his arms at the museum and calmly explain the systems that are in place to create rainfall. He answers literally every question with extreme patience that “why, why, why?” Toddler era would mean he started prepping to leave the house 3 hours early because he needs time to explain things to his kids and he won’t do the “because I said so thing” even if it kills him. It also means his toddlers are insanely advanced and can by the time they’re 5-6 they can do complex physics equations while swinging upside down on the monkey bars.

Jason: spoils his kids rotten, like violently rotten. There isn’t a single thing they want that he won’t get them. Goes on patrol later to read them bedtime stories. He’s a professional helicopter parent. His kids somehow turn out extremely sweet and humble despite the fact they have never been told no. He avoids the PTA like the plague

Tim: any child Tim has is an identical copy of him and he suffers. Bc why is his four year old trying to follow out of the house. Child powernaps through life the exact same way Tim refuses to have a full eight hours no he’ll have 30 power naps tho. Which means getting any children to sleep through the night is hellish. The children are hellions and whenever he complains to Dick about them Dick just cackles and goes. YOU SEE THATS HOW WE FELT ABOUT YOU. The worst part is, they’re perfect little angels to everyone else so no one except for the people who were around to see Tim grow up believes him when he complains.

Damian: Damian’s children end up feral not because of Damian Nono they’re like Robin Dick Grayson type of feral. They have the cutest lil noses and the biggest eyes and the most angelic faces and now they’re climbing the walls. See Dicks kids do this because dick has no bones and walked on his hands before his feet, Damian’s kids do this because their older cousins are their prime baby sitters. Damian comes home one day and his 7 year old is on the chandelier and it’s a perfect match of 30 years ago when Bruce came home to Dick chilling on his vintage 18th century chandelier. Naturally he freaks and tries to yell at his nieces and nephews who see nothing wrong with this because why wouldn’t you climb walls? Dad does it all the time??? Why would you have objects high up if the goal wasn’t to sit on them. Damian might look like Talia but he feels exactly how his father did all those years ago.

In terms of behavior

Jason’s are the most well behaved in general

Tim’s are the most well behaved in public

Damian’s are little menaces but they grow out of this (somewhat)

Dicks kids are a combination of him and his partner and judging by Dicks taste and general demeanor means they never have any chill… like ever.