Stephanie Brown - Blog Posts

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love my bisexual queens

:)

I firmly believe that the batfam would be a half-decent family to be adopted into while not knowing about their Nighttime Activities TM... at least in the beginning.

Lets say that Kiddo gets dropped off after the death of their last guardian (mother, most likely) and somehow the cops get their hands on a letter or something that says that Kiddo is Bruce Wayne's biological child. CPS wouldn't DNA test a child otherwise, but with some sort of evidence they may. Either way, something tells me that as soon as Bruce was notified of the possible child he would get the test done lol. While that processes the kid would end up in foster care (yikes! Gotham foster care is def rough af) whether Bruce is a foster father or not (that sounds like a problematic placement and he'd probably have to pull strings if he wanted to take care of them during this time). So, for 3-14 days an already traumatized, possibly orphaned child waits in limbo in a cesspool of a foster system. Trauma on top of trauma. And then the results come back and Yay! You've got a daddy!

So they pack up everything and go live with the People's Billionaire who they have definitely seen scandals of on the news before. Can you imagine the thoughts going through their head at the time? Are the other kids gonna bully me? Does he even want biological kids? Is he abusive? Neglectful? Pervy?? Does he really drink that damn much and fall in that many damn fountains?!?

And then they'd meet him and he'd be... stoic? And awkward and kind of cold? Which they could definitely take wrong (Bruce is emotionally inept, not malicious) and assume he hates them off the bat. They withdraw, straining themselves and the barely-there relationship more. The ink's still fresh on their adoption and they already want to leave.

Anyway, lets say things pick up. They meet Dick, the emotional center of the household, and then Jason, their caring (if abrasive) older brother, and so on. They start to find their place. Maybe they still struggle to warm up to Bruce or really feel like on of his kids, especially since everyone else seems so comfortable.

But Dick invites them to get ice cream and burgers and whatever else just as an excuse to spend time with them and make sure they're adjusting well (or enough to be expected). Jason teaches them to punch and how to finally get A's on the English assignments, and how to actually like their English assignments. He buys them fancy bookmarks and they pretend not to notice that he has the same one (they match!). Tim comes to them whenever he finds out a new fact he thinks they'll like and lets you pull coffees out of his hands without too much complaint after he's surpassed his daily limit (he only gives a grumble and an affectionate look) Cass teaches Kiddo all the best places to hide during hide-and-seek and pulls you into her side during movie nights. Cass makes sure you always have someone to eat with if them want it and brings back food whenever she's out. After some work, Damian even lets you help him train Titus!

But they still can't quite settle in because... where did everyone go at night?

If Kiddo's home situation before wasn't exactly ideal then they'd be a light sleeper, which is how they'd wake, and if not it's because they go down for a glass of water or something and see way too many bedroom doors open and beds empty on their way. Either way, after living with people for so long they'd catch on.

They notice that every single person in the household had been unaccounted for at some time. Every single one of their siblings plus both adults in the house were getting together every night to do something without them.

The realization was like a stone at the bottom of their stomach. And so, they start to pull away.

And everyone notices.

A sibling trip to the Gotham City Zoo!

I’m currently reading Steph’s run as Batgirl, and this moment with Damian is just too much…

So Steph’s talking to this guy, but she turns around…

And there’s Damian

Damian: Time for plan G. Bruce: Don’t you mean plan B? Damian: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Dick: What about plan D? Damian: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Steph: What about plan E? Damian: I’m hoping not to use it. Timothy dies in plan E. Jason: I like plan E.

Damian: Croissants: dropped Jason: Road: works ahead Dick: BBQ sauce: on my titties Tim: Shavacado: fre Steph: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead Jason: Bruce, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Steph: you know that can kill you right?

Jason, smoking a cigarette: that's the point

Tim drinking his "life juice": we're trying to speed this up

Dick eating raw cookie dough: Yeah!

Batfam as things my family said pt.2

Jason(while robin): if i'm 25 and not covered in tattoos and have a motorcycle punch me in the face

steph: i’m convinced men are the ones with periods

dick: the eggs were carbonated

tim: i feel like a flintstone

babs: the mormons are out-

duke: actually ima be a stripper now

tim: what's goin on single fucks?

damian(talking to tim): i'm gonna put you in a box and send you to north Korea

bruce(to dick): what kind of crack are you on?!

dick(to bruce): the good kind obviously😃🔫

damian: i am not a demon for you to summon

cass: i have the butt of a ballon dog

batfam as things me and my family have said

Damian (talking to alfred the cat): don't put your butt on my drink

tim (referring to steph): holy batman she's pmsing

jason: if you value your life don't bring bruce into this

dick: i drank an egg 1/10 don't reccomend

steph: oh the little white man!

tim: i look straight and i hate it

damian: bernard wants you sent away drake he said so himself

steph: oh the purple nurple really got him

Batfam quotes as things my family (and friends) have said.

Damian: *ranting* Father is infuriating at times!

Steph: I don't have a dad

Jason: I don't have a mom

Dick: You guys have parents?

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Steph: *playing Fortnite* Sheeeeeeeesh

Tim: Do that again and I'll chuck this Cookie Butter Latte at your head.

Steph: Try me b*tch

Okay, but like...

Jason loves to mess with his siblings. That not particularly unique, as most siblings love to annoy each other. Only difference is that Jason is a little shit. Most of his "jokes" involve property damage.

One time he put Tim’s laptop into jello (he watches the office, sue me). Tim loaded all his guns with jolly ranchers in return.

Damian’s katana has been mutilated by Jason several times. It's always washable, but annoying all the same. A perfect example of this is the 'Syrup Incident' in which Jason coated everyone’s favorite weapons in syrup. Dick's sparky sticks were actually damaged by that prank....

The only one who rivals Jason in property damge has got to be Steph. I mean, come one, it's Steph.

Batfam quotes as things my family has said

Tim: *in a heated debate with steph* it's so boring! Dead children, dead children, dead children, nobody cares! Walton files is so much better!

Jason: what the fuck did I just walk into.

@oliveid

Part 2 of Batfam Nerf War

Scroll down for part 1. It's not far.

Previously: Tim then builds a team...

The "Tim team" consists of Steph, Duke (reluctantly), and Cass.

It starts out with the four of them ambushing Jason as random times. At one point, Jason has to restrain himself from pulling a real gun on Steph. She has her guns loaded with glitter as a "artistic addition".

Jason eventually loses it and recruits the "big guns". He promises Dick a hug and cashes out a favor from Damian.

The group spends about a week ambushing each other (Tim usually concocted unusually complicated traps). Until Dick's gun malfunctions and accidentally fires on Damian. The teams split into three, the four....

By next week the manor becomes the battle ground of a no-holds free-for-all nerf war.

God help poor Alfred.

Imagine nerf darts, glitter, and batarangs scattered all around the mansion. Alfred just following behind and cleaning up the "bat tornado aftermath".

Somehow, Bruce is completely oblivious to the destruction his children are causing. "It just a harmless game Alfred". Bruce is lucky Alfred loves him.

I'll write part 3 when I'm motivated.

Don't we all love some chaotic siblings shenanigans at the gala?

Ah! The annual Wayne gala...

Every year, Bruce Wayne attempts to throw a normal gala.

You, know. The kind every other billionaire throws.

But somehow

Somehow

Something weird happens.

Whether Damian lets Batcow into the ballroom, or Steph sets off the sprinkler system, or (God forbid) Jason mixes laxatives into the cake; something always goes wrong.

And. It. Is. Always. His. Kids'. Fault.

It's become a running joke in the media!

"The Wayne Kids at it again!!! Read their latest gala antics below!"

Bruce just wants to jump into that bottomless pit in the Batcave...

Why WHY are his... lovely children like this? Can't they just give him some peace.

Of course not, Dick is sitting on the chandelier and everyone is staring.

Dick waves at him.

He can only stare blankly until Tim comes over and hands him a cup of coffee, Tim holding one himself.

Not really a typical gala drink, but he deserves it. Takes a big drink and almost spits it out. He give Tim and incredulous look.

The coffee is spiked.

He can't tell if it has monster, whisky, or a fucking 5 hour energy in it though.

Tim just shrugs and takes the cup back.

"More for me"

Cass walks over and gives him a pity pat on the shoulder.

God help him.

He loves these kids.

But God help him...

Okay, but like...

Jason Todd coaching a little league team called the Outlaws.

And trying to keep it from literally everyone he knows.

Because he adores these kids, but he knows he'd catch hell if anyone found out.

Tim finds out first.

Of course he does this is Timothy Drake we're talking about.

Jason expects Tim to use this as blackmail. He's surprised when Tim doesn't. Even more surprised when Tim starts showing up for all their games, and becomes the most enthusiastic fan.

Cass follows Tim to a game one day. Gets as invested in these Baseball playing babies as Tim is.

Everything is all fine and dandy for a while... until Damian discovers the team.

Of course being the little demon he is, he forms a plan to destroy the team. "The team is a distraction to Todd and must be eliminated". So the little shit joins the team without Jason’s knowledge. His plan was was to start rumors and divide the team until it fell apart.

Buuuuut, turns out Damian Wayne likes baseball.

So now we have nearly half the wayne family invested in this team of 13 year old baseball players.

No one really knows how Barbara found out. She just started join Tim and Cass for the games.

Steph and Duke start showing up not long after. Showing up with enough snacks to feed a small nation.

The Wayne family turns out to be very enthusiastic... so much so that it makes headlines...

Annnnnnd that's how Dick Grayson joined the group.

And they thought the others were obnoxious...

This grown ass man shows up with a 6 by 2 foot banner that says "GO OUTLAWS" in giant glittery letters. He bring face paint and T-shirts for all the parents. Really he just gets way too into it.

Jason and Damian are mortified...

When Bruce sees the headlines, he thinks it's adorable. Of course he joins in all the shenanigans, just a little less chaotic.

Alfred just sits back and watches. He knew the whole time. He was the one to suggest Jason coach the team in the first place

Yes I know its supposed to hurt, yes I know there are rough patches, yes I know that’s not how it happens, yes I know it’s not realistic, it’s not gritty, yes I know that’s not what fate, the gods, the writers say. Yes and yes and yes I know I know I promise you I know-

But what if

things got better?

things could get better?

what if love didn’t always have to bleed?

what if pain wasn’t inherently more valuable than care?

what if those who thought themselves out of reach still had unconditional love?

what if those trying their best to shoulder the burdens of responsibility got to share the weight?

what if family was supportive, and protective?

what if they grew, what if they learned?

what if they got to get up the next day and keep going, not the same as before, but still getting through this?

what if they weren’t alone? not by circumstance, but by choice?

what if they could heal and you could too?

I know that’s not how it ends. I know it ends in pain and tears and a thousand split branches telling different stories, few of them any kind of joyful.

But maybe it doesn’t have to.

Maybe we pick the branch that bends skywards. Maybe that’s what we need.

Hope is a decision. Found family is deliberate.

Ultimately it’s your choice.

Play in the sand.

I don’t want mine to be full of glass.

Daycare

It’s not just Batman. All of Gotham hates magicians. Because they pull shit like this.

Some out-of-towner decides the best way to keep the Bats distracted while they kick up trouble would be to turn the family into children, thereby making them harmless without the associated alarms if they were to disappear.

Unfortunately, they’re not very good at this.

Alfred is greeted at the Batcave by the normal Batfamily, plus their pint-sized doubles. Every single person is struggling to handle their younger version.

Dick is frantically trying to keep an eye on the most adventurous nine year old. Jason is freaking out trying to responsible parent his eight year old self who’s screaming his head off about stranger danger. Tim and his eight year old double have not broken eye contact, and Tim is refusing to touch ‘it’ except with a bow staff. Steph is bribing hers with ice cream to keep her quiet and to stop her from attacking the other children again. Cass is attached to hers by child reins. Duke’s mini has already tried to escape explore three times and is over Duke’s shoulder to prevent any further attempts. Damian (in his mid teens) is trying to get his toddler self to stop grabbing everything, and failing.

Bruce had called Zatanna, but she’s on a JL mission at the moment. It’s going to be a long week.

Don’t get me wrong I love all the emo versions of Batman in modern adaptations where’s he’s all broody and just sits alone in a cave at night because ✨vibes✨ but one day I hope we see the comic accurate bat dad who adopts every stray child he meets and has movie nights with the justice league

I saw in one of the reblogs of my post with Makeup Artist Damian that someone offer me their soul for seeing Dami painting Steph and Cass nails-

WELL, it will be half soul, because as much as I loved the idea, i wanted the body-painting too, specially for Cass, to make something pretty out of her scars :DD

I saw in one of the reblogs of my post with Makeup Artist Damian that someone offer me their soul for seeing Dami painting Steph and Cass nails-

WELL, it will be half soul, because as much as I loved the idea, i wanted the body-painting too, specially for Cass, to make something pretty out of her scars :DD

A scene where batboys was causing chaos on Wayne Manor, while Alfred and Bruce had enough for it :)

I'm done drawing, so now I'm just sitting here and waiting for someone to tell me the lore behind this chaos

Im reading a fic, and they listed characters as emotionally competent. First was Dick for some reason, and then it was STEPHANIE? HELLO?

We need more aus and fics were Bruce somehow ends up adopting all of his kids around the same time

I could see Bruce getting Damian out of the League of Shadows as a baby and taking in everyone else as kids

The thing my mind keeps going back to is when Steph is at the very start of her Robin training... And Bruce and Pennyworth just give her one of Tim's uniforms to train in.

And it's fucking uncomfortable for her because she is a physically different person. She can't move in the damn thing without something tearing, her getting a wedgie, or her getting winded because her boobs are so compressed! And yet, Bruce and Pennyworth make such a big deal about how they guess they'll have to get her a uniform that fits.

Even getting part of the cave sectioned off so that she can change in private is shown as something she feels she had to earn.

It was so frustrating to read that whole damn arc.

I'm not going to claim Steph was perfect or that every decision she made was right, but it was so clear that she wasn't being supported like she should have been.

Every so often, DC is reminded by Steph fans that War Games is a thing that happened and that its many injustices against her and her fans still need to be addressed and every so often, DC responds with a comic that says "Bruce was right to manipulate and fire her and she deserved to be tortured and killed"

@malfiora found it for me so I'm gonna share it! I genuinely love this so much, it's such a Thing that would become part of Gotham's cultural zeitgeist.

Imagine the first time each of them heard some kids singing this?! Imagine if it's a cryptid Batfamily au and the song breaks containment before the other heroes know them? So much possibility, so much potential, I love it.

Listen... All I know is that the kids I babysit were singing that one Gummy Bear song and next thing I knew my brain made a parody

With WFA sister-coding Steph and Cass, I started thinking about how to get some silver linings out of the decision. So, here are some potential plots or story elements that could be fun/saucy/interesting to play with.

1.) Steph comes out as asexual. Between having a baby and dating Tim, Steph realizes that she's been pursuing physical relationships because of social expectations. She's a spunky, outgoing blonde tough girl; people just assume. She just assumed.

This leads to so many jokes. So many.

"Yeah, Tim and I dated and we had a good time, but in the end I turned him off girls and he turned me off entirely"

"I flatlined briefly and it restored me to factory settings"

Idk Steph would have more quips. She'd have all the quips.

2) Cass is secretly the true Wayne Womanizer. She's not here for a long time, she's here for a good time, and as long as everyone understands that she will play the field. The only reason no one knows that she's debauched every willing heiress in Gotham is because she's too good to get caught and no one would believe it.

Cassandra Wayne is a Legend among closeted debutantes and socialites whose parents have "arrangements" made in regards to marriages. She's the muse of so much modern sapphic poetry, the kind that only hints at her identity. She is the favorite friend to every ambassador's interested daughter. Forget the headlines about Brucie Wayne spending the night with a Russian ballet troupe, Cass will tour with them and no one will even guess what's really going on.

Fandom treats her like a sexless child figure or defaults her to Steph's side. I say let her sneak into the manor at 3am with her shoes off, whispering about entering her slut era.

3) If Steph and Cass are not dating each other, they could each be dating a new or underused character and we could have another Bernard-style steal-your-ship. We might be on the cusp of discovering a really fun pairing or character!

4) Cass and Prudence Wood have an assassin-angsty hate-sex relationship. This one's just for me because it makes me giggle. People meme about Tim and Cass looking alike, Pru called Tim hot once, Pru is now a double??? Triple???? Quadruple??? Agent between Ra's and Tim.

There is just something cute about imagining terrifying quiet Cass stalking after the loudmouth Pru's British cussing. No killing! Because Cass is here to ruin your fun and watch you sleep!

I tried the AI TikTok trend dc comics pt 1