The France Is Bacon Story Lives In My Head Rent-free

Putting powdered sugar on the post below

dead wife who you painstakingly bring back to life only for her to divorce you like a week later

The fattest kitten at work hates humans SO MUCH. He doesn’t want to get picked up, he doesn’t want a cuddle. we’re all like, you should have thought about that before you decided to be the fattest little baby in existence. You think we’re not going to pick you up? You think we’re not going to kiss you? You’re so fat

one time I had a dream that I unlocked a secret never-before-discovered achievement in Disco Elysium by squeezing into various nooks and crannies and got a special copotype called “Crevice Cop: seek out and inhabit crevices like some kind of man-spider” and I thought yeah!!! man-spider!!! crevice cop!!! this game GETS me!!!

and then I woke up to find that I had fallen partially down into the gap between my partner’s bed and the wall and was horrifically contorted and in agonizing bodily pain from sleeping in a position only comfortable to a brown recluse

the sensitive gamer