How To Marvelously Piss Off A Bat: A Guide By Billy Batson, Pt 1

How to Marvelously piss off a Bat: A Guide by Billy Batson, Pt 1

Bruce: Hint at anything and everything prophetic, alternate futures or timelines where something goes horribly wrong. The sheer amount of stress will piss him off, weather its true or not.

Ex:

Billy: Well, this could be worse…

Batman: Superman is flinging himself into buildings high on fear gas, how does this get any worse chum?

Billy: Well hes not murdering his wife or lasering my eyes out right now so we’re definitely in the better timeline

Bruce: he’s not What now

Dick: Midair super-speed pokes. The slightest jab at the side, ankle, or even knuckle mid leap or drive freaks him out and leaves him fumbling a lot.

Ex:

Nightwing, happily summersaulting off buildings preparing to grapple to another mid flip: It’s a bird, its a plane, its the Lord Gray-

Captain Marvel, gaining righteous revenge for his bowl of marshmallow only lucky charms: (Pokes the back of his right knee) bop

Nightwing, now clutching his right knee 57 stories up: so-IIIIIEEEEEE

Jason: Stick a plunger on that crome dome of a helmet, bonus anger points if its during a meeting or in front of people he’s trying to intimidate

Ex:

The Red Hood, scourge of Gothams criminal underworld, in a meeting with his lieutenants: Next thing on our agenda-

The Red Hood, now with 3 plungers stuck to his helmet: We- what the hell

The Hoodlum from the warehouse rafters: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR SELLING ME OUT TO BATMAN JERK FACE!!!

Hood, taking a plunger off and pointing it at Hoodlum: I KNOW 17 WAYS TO KILL YOU WITH THIS THING YOU LITTLE SHIT, SO YOU’VE GOT 17 SECONDS TO RUN!!

Tim: Mutter something sounding like a vague hex within his proximity, he’ll think you cursed him if he knows you’re petty enough. Basically a magical non-magical psych out

Ex:

Tim, very tired: I am not helping you beat Damians score on Cheese Viking Billy, that goblin will know you cheated and then its my head on the same stick as yours.

Billy, muttering under his breath while walking away: oi karpoí tou kópou sou na xekinísoun sto stóma sou (may the fruits of your labor sour in your mouth)

Tim, understanding the Greek and that billy has ties to Greek gods and magic: *panik*

@thefantasmarex

I just booped someone 100 times in one popup :3

I want to do this again so lmk if you want me to do 100 for you :D

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lurkerofhyperfixations

2 months ago

Fic where Steve and Robin show up at Eddie’s door smelling like vomit and Starcourt fire like, “You know about drugs, right?” and then push their way into his house.

Except Eddie’s not there. He’s at the Fourth of July fair and then staying at the night at Jeff’s, so it’s just Wayne and two drugged up, beaten up kids.

He can’t even send these two away because they’re looking at him like “you look different” and “I always knew you wore a wig.”

“What are you two on?”

They look at each other and then Robin reaches across the ocean (like six inches), puts hand on top of Wayne’s and says, “So much.”

He tries corralling them into the truck to take to the hospital but apparently the hospital is a wreck. So the next day, Eddie comes home to find a literal dream come true in his bed. And also Robin.

He just walks back out of the room like, “What the hell?”

“Your friends are here.”

“What the hell?!?”

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lurkerofhyperfixations

1 year ago

The Underworld song from the Epic soundtrack but it's Captain marvel and the JL.

The JL has to see all of the champions past memories.

The part where the song talks about the infant, is Black Adam, fated to kill a child that looked so much like his own in order to save his family. Only for his own son and wife to die later.

The Polities part is of Mar-Vell the kryptonian who's friend was killed by the criminal on the ship.

The mother one could totally be Billy, or even worse, another young champion. This boy, barely 20 who went to save the world, and whose mother died while he was away.

The best (or worst) part is the JL can see everyone of those emotions flashing through the Captain.

He reacts to every single line of the memories as the past champions do in the visions.

He whips around searching for his lost comrad who was so full of optimism that it got him killed.

He reaches towards the mother as the vision of the young champion did.

The ache in his eyes at the sight of Teth Adam holding a boy he will kill for his own. Knowing his son dies in the end.

Just imagine it

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lurkerofhyperfixations

9 months ago