I Want...

Try not to think of me when you are alone

Try not to think of me when she won’t do those things for you

Try not to think of me when you are tired of forcing your round psyche into her square hole

Try not to think of me when you realize you can’t find happiness pretending to be someone you’re not

Try not to think of me because I am trying not to think of you

Try not to think of me

I keep typing out all my feelings to you Then I remember I’m not allowed anymore

You break my heart   not because you don’t love me  But because you don’t love yourself

Hanging on by a thread Waiting for you to cut the cord

I tell you I love you All you can say is “Why?”

I have a book full of you

I am angry with you  But I am far more  disappointed in myself 

This is my fault

I let you in I showed you all my softest  most vulnerable bits I allowed myself to believe  you’d keep them safe

This is my fault

I thought if I believed hard enough in the two of us it would be enough for both of us

I was an idiot