I Long To Kill The Writers Block Fairy

Earphones On

Music to drown the noise

with earphones on the whole time

staying as far away as possible

because I knew if I heard it

I wouldn't be able to stop myself

I would eventually speak up

I would explode it all

the anger and sadness

I've been bottling it all in.

Then it would cause more hurt

everyone would be mad

because everyone thinks they're right.

So even if there's screaming at the back

I keep my earphones on

with the volume up high, ignoring reality.

I wonder

I wonder if my parents ever think I'm human too

A human with a mind and not just flesh

A human who has a heart and feelings.

I wonder if my parents ever think I have dreams too

That my existence is not meant to fulfill their dreams

That they don't own me just because I come from them

I wonder if my parents ever think I'm okay, too.

That they're not the only ones who have it rough

Their words and actions towards me cut like a knife!

I wonder if my parents ever think I'm an adult too

That I've grown not only physically, but mentally

I wished they would not treat me like a kid while making decisions.

I wonder if my parents ever think there are other children who struggle like I do too

That I'm not a failure like they think I am

Comparing me to other kids who had success in their time

What do I do

How do I let it out

Where do I go to release

By Adia

And I wish someday I could forgive myself for loving so purely all the wrong people.

“Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.”

— Unknown

“Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.”

— Sylvia Plath

Storms

Amidst the storms and thunders

The battles that you're fighting in silence

getting deep and healing yourself all on your own

uncovering every trauma and insecurities within you

In this journey of letting go of grudges and bitterness

My dear, I know it's hard and painful

But I hope you know the latter is a relief,

All the burdens you piled onto yourself

When you let go of it all and forgive yourself

What a relief and peace it brings to your soul

So in this journey of uncovering that you're going through

A journey that you need to take alone

don't give up! think of your past self

keep pushing forward for your future self

And have faith for your present self

By Adia

“‘You’re going to be happy’ said life ‘but first I’ll make you strong.’”

— Unknown