sapphire-od

Latest Posts by sapphire-od

Song is Choke by I Don’t Know How But They Found Me

Hey kid, look at me.

I want you to T-pose. Turn your right thumb up and your left thumb doen and look at your right thumb. Move your arms up and down a bit until you feel a nerve running from your armpit to your palm. Now turn your right thumb down and your left thumb up, and look at your left thumb. Keep your chest facing forward and your shoulders back. Move your arms again until you feel that nerve again. Keep alternating between these two for a minute, or look at each thumb thirty times each.

Now sit down. Put your left hand firmly under your left buttock, palm down. Keep your shoulders back and put your right hand over the crown of your head, very gently pulling it to the right. Do this for thirty seconds, then do it again but with your right hand under your right buttock.

These are stretches for the nerves in your arms, and are very good for people who sit behind a computer a lot, or fibre artists, or you name it. Do them daily. They will hurt in the beginning, but keep doing them, even after the pain has gone, or it will return and you'll have to start all over.

aw man

i wish i could be one of those people that can write aus

*slips and drops jekyll and hyde x epic au*

oops

Okay I know we make jokes about Hermes twerking it up on the raft while Ody is literally trying to survive. But can I point out that Hermes stayed with Ody up until Charybdis. All he had to do was deliver the bag and a warning, and then his job was done. He chose to stay with his great-grandson. He chose to keep him company. And that's just adorable.

Since Hermes is essentially the god of tricks/wit, and Ody is his descendant, I just love the idea of him watching parts of Odysseus' journey and excitedly pointing and slapping the god or goddess next to him, like "DID YOU SEE THAT!?"

Think about it: Odysseus literally sacking Troy by hiding in a giant horse; bluffing so well that Athena- goddess of wisdom- falls for it; drugging Polyphemus with lotus wine (Hermes would be proud).

You can't convince me that Hermes wasn't somewhere eating popcorn during "Ruthlessness" and that when Ody opens the mother f-ing wind bag like a cocky little sh!t, Hermes didn't burst out laughing and start applauding.

He fluttered down to Uncle Poseidon after that, like, "Ohoho! My darling little grand-baby just schooled you!"

Odysseus: 600 men making our way back home to Ithaca!

*Polyphemus swings his club around*

Odysseus: 593 men making our way back home to Ithaca.

*Poseidon wipes out the other 11 ships in the fleet*

Odysseus: ...43 men making our way back home to Ithaca.

*Elpenor's drunk ass falls off Circe's roof*

Odysseus: 42 men making our way back home to Ithaca, I guess.

*Scylla targets the torch holders*

Odysseus: 36 men making our way back home to Ithaca. Put that sword away, Eurylochus.

*Zeus strikes the ship with lightning*

Odysseus: 1 man making his way back home to Penelope and Telemachus. And by the gods, I will somehow make it.

aw man

i wish i could be one of those people that can write aus

*slips and drops jekyll and hyde x epic au*

oops

The parallels in the ending for s3 and the s1 first op..... Subaru was alone before, but now there are people ready to catch him when he falls

Also, even if only mimi (and ricardo's shoulder?) appears in the group shot, anastasia and julius' hands are there supporting subaru too (ana's on his shoulder blade next to otto's and julius on his waist)

Also reinhard holding subaru by the scruff of his neck like subaru's some kind of a cat lol

But I can't find joshua......

God. I love it when he goes "XD". and also his ">X)" grin. Silly. So silly. The silliest.

Phil: Yeah I like Pac and Mike's ending is just hilarious- Pac and Mike's ending to their characters, um, is just them jumping off of Christ the Redeemer w-wi-with Richas. Er, mine, Lullah and-and Chay's ending is just we go- go to sleep. We go to Rose's sanctuary and we go to sleep at peace finally. The good ending, kind of, bittersweet.

Phil: Okay here we go wanna watch some fucking crazy shit? [laughs]

[video starts, Pac e Mike Wow Wow is playing in the background. Mike is saying something in the video, that I can't catch. Philza laughs.]

[Richas dies in video]

[harder laughter]

[pauses video]

Phil: Nah, man, fuck, no the fucking like BOOM noise is like actually like a fucking trigger for trauma. Dude, fuck me, the eggs dying, ahhh with the music is just so fucked- there's such a mixture of emotions in my body.

[rewinds the video, replays that, when Richas dies again, sharp laughter]

Phil: Ahhh God

[pauses video as Mike dies]

Phil: Ah Pac's fucking sad, man, shit, this is why I turn my webcam off, dude.

[plays video, pausing it again when Pac dies and sniffs]

Phil: Ah, Pac! I wanna give him a hug.

Phil: Shit, dude, the fucking music like cutting out is actually so extra sad, Jesus Christ. This is-aw man. Dude. This is- This is why I turn off my webcam, right, when I do lore and I- [Pac in video sniffs again] and I get emotional [Pac speaking. Again, I can't quite pick up what is said] I get- I get emotional, you know, I get- [closes video] I get- and I turn off my webcam you can't see me cry haha

TTS: Wow Philza. How could you [Phil starts laughing] set your house on fire with a toaster. SMH. Happy 9 months!

Phil: Fuck dude, aaaaaawh, god, I wanna give him a hug, dude, no, no mames, no mames.

Phil: It's sad, yeah, it is really sad, honestly. It's so fucking miserable. I was genuinely holding back tears, um, when me, Lullah an-and Chay were saying goodbye. 'Cause I knew. I knew. I knew as soon as we started walking along the wall, 'cause I said to them, after having a good chat, that I- the last thing I would want to do with them would be walking along the wall, and once we started doing that I was like, thch, this is it, this is it, we're gonna end off at the sanctuary and go to sleep.

Phil: And I-I like knew it was coming but I was- I was still holding back tears, chat, it was real sad.

Tbh, I have aloooooooot to say but I will save myself the effort until the official drops .... But yuji got sukuna screaming will always be my fav moment like I wanted it so badly..... And NOBODY I REPEAT NOBODY CAN make sukuna scream like this... Bro was fuming seeing yuji being unstoppable..... 😭😭😭😭😭😭 thank you gege here relive this moment ... Can you believe 8 black flashes, yuji was treating him like his own punching bag🤣🤣

You were defeated by your own self , self-loathing,selfeating, Sukuna .- twisted power of love

The projection of Gege's self-hatred onto his favorite character.

---The hardest battle you'll ever fight, is against yourself---

TL;DR

And thus, Yuji will strive to separate (Cut like Sukuna) his opponents BUT from their "evil" and direct his energy only towards this "evil," which is the opposite of a Sukuna's self-hatred power ,Yuji can be viewed as a mirror reflecting Sukuna's twisted power of love.

Therefore, the first chapter essentially, by title, reflects Yuuji and Sukuna

Sukuna's statement that "only the strong are loved" ("strong" can be of different kinds)takes on a particular significance: he attracts love through his strength , highlighting his main conflict reflected in his relationship with Yuji. For Yuji, strength and violence are alien; his essence is permeated with kindness. As a result, Sukuna feels his vulnerability, realizing that his achievements hold no value in Yuji's eyes. Experiencing self-hatred, he understands that while Yuji is simply kind to people, his love can be obtained "just like that," whereas towards Sukuna, Yuji harbors disdain, which is painful, as Sukuna has become strong out of a desire to receive love.

"Thus, he became strong because he realized that they loved strength, while he himself was weak. From this, he concluded that by being strong, he would receive love and respect simply for his existence as strong, and he would no longer feel weak. Therefore, his desire for love lost its significance, as only the weak needed it. Now his primary strength became his "love". And this means that using this strength towards himself and others can be compared to its application on the battlefield, where it is used to defeat the enemy. Thus, those who seek love from him will be destroyed, because all he has and who he is, is strength. Without it, he is nothing. "This implies that he cannot be loved because only the strong are loved". Thus, this expresses contempt for weakness, as the weak rely on "love" and connections, while he, being strong, does not need these connections, leading to rejection of both self-love and everything associated with it, and therefore, it is an expression of hatred.

The application of force (hatred) even towards oneself, towards one's weakness - the human side.

Thus, the application of force towards oneself and one's weakness in this context becomes a manifestation of contempt for the human side and dependence on love. This path can be interpreted as an extreme way to achieve self-assurance, which, nevertheless, cuts off from love and leads to hatred towards both oneself and the surrounding world.

The application of force towards oneself and one's weakness here is presented as a way of rejecting love and refusing to accept the human side - thus self-denial-self-eating.

This contradiction is manifested in the irony of the situation: a person becomes strong in his desire to rid himself of his weakness and dependence on love, but as a result, he becomes consumed by hatred, both towards himself and towards the surrounding world.

This desire is expressed through the denial of the human side, the refusal to accept one's weaknesses and dependence on love. This leads to strength becoming the main attribute of personality, while human connections and emotions, such as love, are rejected as unnecessary and even harmful.

Thus, the application of force towards oneself and one's weakness, as well as the denial of love and dependence on it, create a cycle of self-destruction and hatred towards oneself and the surrounding world. This can be interpreted as a path that, although aimed at achieving self-assurance, ultimately leads to isolation and spiritual destruction.

The cycle of samsara.

("twisted love ") his curse and power "kitchen"- (10 bulls Buddhism- you can read in wiki ) - he literally kills (eats) the “bull” "human" his own self constantly, so there are a lot of their skulls inside him - his own , and he sits on the throne of them, his essences, believing that he has “surpassed” himself - the human nature

"Sukuna is surrounded by the remnants of his failed attempts to transcend his ego, symbolized by the "skulls" of his former selves."

maybe this is part of the “vow” of constantly fighting (eating) within yourself

Self hatred

Like the seals on his shoulders - circles

Sukuna is the strongest because he suffers the most, hates himself and experiences an internal conflict that generates cursed energy.

Anger (rage, aggression, a sense of vengeance, disgust) is represented in the image of a snake. The snake typically slithers away when approached by a human or attacks them. Similarly, a person seeks to eliminate an irritating object from their field of perception, either by avoiding it or destroying it. This is similar to his behavior and avoidance of Yuji - the epitome of absolution - kindness, because he unconsciously experiences disgust – the truth.

The Rooster is a symbol of passion, as it is both the owner of a harem and capable of finding a tiny grain in the grass and dust – exactly what it needs; just as passion keenly selects its object of desire from the multitude presented. This can be compared to how Sukuna chooses his opponents.

Ignorance (neglect, stupidity, laziness, foolishness) is represented in the image of a pig. The pig eats everything indiscriminately, unable to discern between good and bad, fortunate and unfortunate due to its lack of understanding. Incidentally, the pig is the only animal unable to lift its head to the sun. However, Sukuna usually regards others disdainfully from top to bottom, like a large pig, experiencing "foolishness" because he has confined himself within the pigsty of his own convictions.

Perhaps not intentionally, but symbolically, Yuji's head is at the level of his heart.

In other words, the cursed energy spawns a concentration circle of hatred , trapping individuals in an endless cycle of conflict,a cycle of samsara- in which people remain fighting with another person with their emotions. - mostly hatred

This could be seen as a vow or a struggle to overcome one's own limitations , by constantly confronting and consuming aspects of the self.

"You weren't merely defeated by external forces, but by your own internal strife—your perpetual disdain for your human side." your downfall stemmed from your own internal contradictions, which morphed into a binding oath (all his seals on his body literally seal a person in him). Your disdain for humanity, extending even to yourself, became both your strength and your curse, corroding your soul from within (gestures toward the mask).

(the mask) Much like Tengen, embodies a constructive "emptiness" that exists harmoniously with the world, at peace with people. However, Sukuna's "emptiness" is purely literal, representing a detachment from humanity, a void of sorts.

You've lost all sense of purpose, consumed by self-loathing to the point of utter emptiness.

he is his strength - and if he loses, he "strength "will die, which means to him that he is nothing(because "I" = strength ),( which everything) he can feel , towards "him " is hate, emptiness ,insignificance - nothing - cant take "love". nothing is nothing - so it his - corpse paradoxically there cannot be “love”, because only the “strong” are loved.

It's as if he can't even comprehend the idea of being loved or valued without his strength. Without it, he feel like a mere shell of himself, devoid of purpose or meaning. - corpse

his "manhtra "

His strength defines him, and should he lose it, his very essence will wither away, leaving him feeling like nothing.-(which everything to him.) Because in his eyes, strength equals identity, and without it, he is left hollow, consumed by feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing.

To him, strength is everything, and without it, he feels empty and insignificant. He's trapped in a mindset where only the strong are valued or capable of receiving love, leaving him unable to grasp the concept of being cherished for anything other than his strength. Without this defining trait, he fears becoming a mere shadow of himself, devoid of purpose and meaning—a walking corpse. His mantra revolves around the idea that his strength is synonymous with his identity; losing it would strip away everything that makes him who he is, leaving behind only a hollow shell consumed by feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.

This fear of worthlessness drives him to cling desperately to his strength, as he sees it as the only thing protecting him from a profound sense of misery and insignificance. It's not so much a fear of death that motivates him, but a fear of experiencing the emptiness and smallness he associates with weakness.

So when he talks to Yuji he projects

You are my special

"Get lost in me" - "Become me."

I wanna feel your heatwave - Break down.

I love you, baby - I hate you

because you don't yield to me, to my strength

A world spinning in ambiguity - on the other hand, if Yuji does not give in, then Sukuna loses his “power” - himself and his hatred,"And will make him feel (1 )'loven'."- (This means that Yuji literally robs him of his purpose - his strength - himself - his self-loathing.)

(1 )This suggests that Sukuna's identity is closely tied to his ability to dominate others, especially Yuji. If Yuji resists, Sukuna not only loses his power and sense of self but also his profound self-hatred, leaving him vulnerable to experiencing an unfamiliar emotion—love. In essence, losing control and self-hatred allows Sukuna to explore a more vulnerable side of himself.

You are my special

"Even if the meaning is not correct, the fact is that they mirror to each other."

He wants to prove that his own existence and self-hatred are justified.

Sukuna conducts " a series of trials " before Yuji, aiming to prove to him that his purity of soul is not the basis of his strength. He expresses the belief that the source of strength lies in the ability to be cruel and hateful rather than kind. In his worldview, strength arises from self-loathing and denial, while love and compassion are seen as manifestations of weakness.

Sukuna seeks to affirm his beliefs through these trials and sufferings. He desires to break Yuji, to bring him down to his own level of hatred, in order to confirm his own existence and self-hatred. For him, pure strength becomes a symbol of his self-loathing - his own "self." He seeks to reinforce this hatred through Yuji, who, in his opinion, is excessively pure and capable of loving others unconditionally, which, in his view, renders his strength useless and undermines his own existence.

Overall, Sukuna's character is driven by a complex interplay of fear and a desperate need for validation through the lens of strength and self-loathing.

SURVIVAL

"You're so weak yet you cling to life?"

CHILD "I"- lack of strength" - weak and misery- unwanted , rejected, unloved, insignificant, unimportant, nothing, profound sense of emptiness and smallness.- DEATH

"You should spend your lives stifling (EATING)your misery. "

(Sukuna -Child - Yuji)

It seems to me that here it is being said that a brother or another close person can replace a parent in terms of providing love and understanding "self", as well as becoming a reliable support for the individual.

Perhaps previously he believed that self-love was meaningless (although he assumed this applied to others as well), but after encountering Yugi's soul, he realized that love, akin to dedication to an ideal, gains significance as it can transcend death and become something eternal, which is the true meaning. This enlightenment proved more significant than Sukuna's physical prowess, piercing his self-perception for the first time and shaking him to the core.

As the only thing he had been doing was killing time to die.

From the expression on his face in these two frames, there is a similarity: when it comes to love, he appears irritated, but this time he felt it - the love - and experienced pain, for the first time in a long while.

Sukuna, as the most powerful being, has moved away from the notion that his strength guarantees victory. Now it's more of a shadow of an ideal—meaning himself as well, because Sukuna possesses only power—a symbol of relentless personal resilience that he finds in Yuji. He has realized that without this strength, he is devoid of purpose, and in his pursuit of it, he has lost everything, including himself and his inner content. While in Yuji, lacking this power, his eyes shine like a beacon of humanity the love he needed—an ideal that transcends himself, through the idea of protecting others, akin to Prometheus his kindness. This irritates Sukuna and casts doubt on his own existence.

The deal is that Sukuna, regarded as the "strongest " was bored and annoyed with Yuji because his strength was based on something Sukuna could never understand or accept—the true essence of love.

Love, as a force and a tool, is immeasurable except through the sacrifice of those who gave their lives for the ideals of higher humanity—those whom Sukuna could not understand and whom he killed in his pursuit of "strength" and acts of violence deemed "supreme" beyond human nature.

Only after meeting Yuji did Sukuna gain insight, and his transformation can be characterized as a (2 )manifestation of love. Because he begins to "understand" other aspects of human existence, such as compassion, selflessness, and the ideals of higher humanity. In this context, his insight and change are perceived as manifestations of (2 ) love—understanding and accepting these human qualities that he previously could not comprehend or acknowledge.

The (1 ) first follows from the (2) second, but Sukuna hasn't understood it yet, he has only feel it.

Sukuna has long lost the battle against his own hatred, mired in feelings of anger and jealousy. These emotions only fill him with disappointment and rage, fueling his desire to seek ways to cause pain and damage solely to destroy Yuji and undermine his faith

The acknowledgment that his kindness - love is genuine and unconditional seems incomprehensible to him, as if he's afraid to admit that such a thing is possible - because he was not loved and had no one. and that means he didn’t need anyone to satisfy him

Short version

He remembers his yearning for love during childhood, seeing it as a symbol of vulnerability and lack of significance. Regarding dependence on someone "stronger" as a weakness, he holds the belief that seeking affection and connections is characteristic only of the weak.

As a child, Sukuna often felt vulnerable due to his weaknesses, which made him feel chained to his flaws. This prevented him from truly loving himself and others, and he believed that only the strong deserved love, attention, and respect. Sukuna realized that true strength lies not in seeking love, but in giving it to others. However, he saw this gesture as a weakness and chose to demonstrate his strength through hatred instead of love. In battles, he "gave" his "strength " - "love "to others as a form of victory, judging the weak (including himself) as deserving of destruction. Sukuna rejected the concept of love as a dependency for the weak and meaningless for the strong. He avoids using names because he sees his past (weak) self in others, particularly Yuji, and despises himself for it.

In the past, Sukuna often felt vulnerable because of his weaknesses. It created the impression that he was shackled by a chain linking him to his flaws. This hindered him from truly "loving" himself and others, experiencing compassion ..? huh. He believed that only the strong deserved love, attention, and respect, and without strength, he was nothing.

That's why Sukuna realized that true strength lies not in the pursuit of love, but in being able to "give" it to others. He concluded that such a gesture is something only the weak need. Therefore, he decided to resort to another way of demonstrating his "strength"—using it as a tool of hatred instead of love.

Here, he seems to be contemplating a reflection that doesn't actually exist, only its silhouette - in the present, or, to be more precise, he sees himself in Yuji - in the past.

I wonder that this drop falls in Sukuna's domain, isn't it?

Sukuna began "giving" his "strength" to others in battles, seeing it as his version of "love"—an act of victory, where he acts as the judge of the battle, where the weak (Sukuna)are destroyed. And he decided to abandon the concept of love, considering it a dependency meant only for the weak and meaningless (now he's above "love" ,he is not a child, a parallel with Yuji and his treatment of him is disdainful-he recognizes himself in him)for the strong.

So he refrains from using his name because he sees himself (specifically, his past self as a child) in him - and despises himself.

Sukuna regarded strength as the sole indicator of success, and it became his driving force, but, like fuel, it only fed his inner hunger, the desire for self-destruction, rather than self?-love. He replaced strength with a sense of his former insignificance. Even being the most powerful, he couldn't stop and didn't find satisfaction, destroying himself, killing his "self" in the process, which ultimately led him to emptiness. - But the fact is that this emptiness is not of a Buddhist nature, not grounding, but self-eating

In the depths of Yuji, there is something that I am sure will turn out to be his hidden power : the ability to transform internal negative emotions into a manifestation of faith in goodness. He will not just suppress these emotions but actively engage in a struggle with them. Yuji uses hatred as a sort of weapon against hatred itself—like fighting fire with fire. He will begin to see "more than he" the idea of hatred as an inner enemy present in each of us, reflected in his own personality, in Sukuna, and in the personalities of those around him.

And thus, Yuji will strive to separate (Cut like Sukuna) his opponents from their "evil" and direct his energy only towards this "evil," which is the opposite of a Sukuna's self-hatred power ,Yuji can be viewed as a mirror reflecting Sukuna's twisted power of love.

So, Yuji will be fighting the "curse" of hatred—hence the title of the series, "Jujutsu Kaisen."

In literal translation of "呪術廻戦" (Jujutsu Kaisen) into English, it can be interpreted as "Battle Against the Curse."

"呪術" (Jujutsu) translates as "magic" or "spell," and can also indicate "curse" or "sinister forces."

Speculation below

The absence of parental love can create a profound void in childhood, leading to a deficiency in emotional support which, in turn, contributes to negative self-perception and attitudes toward oneself and the world. This deficiency often manifests as low self-esteem, self-hatred, and behavioral issues such as aggression or depression. Jacques Lacan's concept of the "mirror" provides insight into how parental relationships sculpt a child's self-perception and psychological development.

It is intriguing to observe how Yuji and Sukuna mirror each other's behaviors.

Identification and emulation: Individuals who lack parental figures may seek to emulate others who resonate with them or serve as role models. This behavior often stems from a desire to comprehend how to appear, feel, and act based on observed traits in others.

Search for emotional connection: People who lacked parental figures or did not receive adequate emotional connection during childhood often strive for intimate relationships with individuals who can fulfill this emotional void.

It's worth noting that characters may not fit perfectly into any one personality type due to their complexity and fantastical nature.

Yuji's identity is deeply intertwined with television. Gege's narrative underscores that he "grew up on television," suggesting that this medium became a surrogate for parental figures and filled the emotional void in his life. His enthusiasm for parodies and karaoke, venues where he could interact with others, reflects his ambiguous sense of individuality, likely influenced by television as his primary source of inspiration and behavioral model. Additionally, his emotionally reserved grandfather deprived him of necessary support during childhood. - if unfounded then Yuji INFJ -INFJs are known as chameleons, adapting to different situations. This clarifies why Yuuji excels in collaborative combat and absorbs lessons from others—he's like a sponge.

Sukuna's depiction as a petulant child reflects emotional immaturity and egocentrism commonly associated with unresolved childhood traumas or deficiencies in parental nurturing. His reactions and demeanor echo characteristics typical of children: egocentrism, emotional volatility, rebellion, and disobedience. His unpredictable behavior mirrors the emotional turbulence of a child grappling with feelings of abandonment or neglect, particularly evident in situations beyond his control or comprehension. - if unfounded then Sukuna INTJ

INFJ : "I may not always understand the intricacies of your emotions on an intellectual level, but I can feel them deeply.It might not intrigue you cold mind , but it brings warmth to your heart." Breathing life into your being."

INTJ: "Your natural stands as an enigma within my ordered world. Yet, I find myself drawn to this anomaly, stirring within me something beyond rational comprehension. This connection, however unconventional, holds a fascination that I cannot ignore."

One feels the other thinks - but they are one -connection between Yuji and Sukuna, suggesting that despite their apparent differences, there is a symbiotic relationship between them. This mean that they influence each other in profound ways, with Yuji's emotional sensitivity complementing Sukuna's strategic thinking, or vice versa. It indicates that their identities are intertwined on a fundamental level, even though they may manifest differently in terms of behavior and personality.

Nevertheless, Sukuna experiences a transformative moment when he acknowledges and embraces the profound love emanating from Yuji. This revelation serves as a form of "enlightenment" or "rebirth," illuminating a path within the darkness of his existence. This is the first time Sukuna encounters unconditional love. For him, it signifies liberation from hidden motives, such as the desire to use others in his childish power games ("me versus you," "who's superior," etc.), simply to kill time. Now, he avoids manipulations he once considered normal but which Yuji interprets as a craving for attention. Yuji doesn't value "power," leading Sukuna to the paradoxical conclusion that he's unloved - the only thing he ever desired. He realizes his past actions were merely theatrics, where he played the leading role, but now, meeting Yuji, everything changes. Yuji doesn't engage in this game, refusing to succumb to the spectacle of death for emptiness' sake. This moment underscores parental resilience, selfless guidance, and dedication to the greater good.

This realization is especially poignant following Sukuna's unsuccessful attempts to break Yuji. Yuji's unwavering loyalty and resilience, directed not towards himself, exemplify a depth of love Sukuna has never encountered. Sukuna's inability to avert his gaze from Yuji, despite the accompanying anguish, underscores his inner turmoil. This revelation challenges his preconceived notions, exposes internal conflicts, and highlights emotional vacancy, reflecting the difficulty he faces in embracing newfound emotions and comprehending the true essence of love and loyalty.

You were defeated by your own self , self-loathing,selfeating, Sukuna .- twisted power of love

The projection of Gege's self-hatred onto his favorite character.

---The hardest battle you'll ever fight, is against yourself---

TL;DR

And thus, Yuji will strive to separate (Cut like Sukuna) his opponents BUT from their "evil" and direct his energy only towards this "evil," which is the opposite of a Sukuna's self-hatred power ,Yuji can be viewed as a mirror reflecting Sukuna's twisted power of love.

Therefore, the first chapter essentially, by title, reflects Yuuji and Sukuna

Sukuna's statement that "only the strong are loved" ("strong" can be of different kinds)takes on a particular significance: he attracts love through his strength , highlighting his main conflict reflected in his relationship with Yuji. For Yuji, strength and violence are alien; his essence is permeated with kindness. As a result, Sukuna feels his vulnerability, realizing that his achievements hold no value in Yuji's eyes. Experiencing self-hatred, he understands that while Yuji is simply kind to people, his love can be obtained "just like that," whereas towards Sukuna, Yuji harbors disdain, which is painful, as Sukuna has become strong out of a desire to receive love.

"Thus, he became strong because he realized that they loved strength, while he himself was weak. From this, he concluded that by being strong, he would receive love and respect simply for his existence as strong, and he would no longer feel weak. Therefore, his desire for love lost its significance, as only the weak needed it. Now his primary strength became his "love". And this means that using this strength towards himself and others can be compared to its application on the battlefield, where it is used to defeat the enemy. Thus, those who seek love from him will be destroyed, because all he has and who he is, is strength. Without it, he is nothing. "This implies that he cannot be loved because only the strong are loved". Thus, this expresses contempt for weakness, as the weak rely on "love" and connections, while he, being strong, does not need these connections, leading to rejection of both self-love and everything associated with it, and therefore, it is an expression of hatred.

The application of force (hatred) even towards oneself, towards one's weakness - the human side.

Thus, the application of force towards oneself and one's weakness in this context becomes a manifestation of contempt for the human side and dependence on love. This path can be interpreted as an extreme way to achieve self-assurance, which, nevertheless, cuts off from love and leads to hatred towards both oneself and the surrounding world.

The application of force towards oneself and one's weakness here is presented as a way of rejecting love and refusing to accept the human side - thus self-denial-self-eating.

This contradiction is manifested in the irony of the situation: a person becomes strong in his desire to rid himself of his weakness and dependence on love, but as a result, he becomes consumed by hatred, both towards himself and towards the surrounding world.

This desire is expressed through the denial of the human side, the refusal to accept one's weaknesses and dependence on love. This leads to strength becoming the main attribute of personality, while human connections and emotions, such as love, are rejected as unnecessary and even harmful.

Thus, the application of force towards oneself and one's weakness, as well as the denial of love and dependence on it, create a cycle of self-destruction and hatred towards oneself and the surrounding world. This can be interpreted as a path that, although aimed at achieving self-assurance, ultimately leads to isolation and spiritual destruction.

The cycle of samsara.

("twisted love ") his curse and power "kitchen"- (10 bulls Buddhism- you can read in wiki ) - he literally kills (eats) the “bull” "human" his own self constantly, so there are a lot of their skulls inside him - his own , and he sits on the throne of them, his essences, believing that he has “surpassed” himself - the human nature

"Sukuna is surrounded by the remnants of his failed attempts to transcend his ego, symbolized by the "skulls" of his former selves."

maybe this is part of the “vow” of constantly fighting (eating) within yourself

Self hatred

Like the seals on his shoulders - circles

Sukuna is the strongest because he suffers the most, hates himself and experiences an internal conflict that generates cursed energy.

Anger (rage, aggression, a sense of vengeance, disgust) is represented in the image of a snake. The snake typically slithers away when approached by a human or attacks them. Similarly, a person seeks to eliminate an irritating object from their field of perception, either by avoiding it or destroying it. This is similar to his behavior and avoidance of Yuji - the epitome of absolution - kindness, because he unconsciously experiences disgust – the truth.

The Rooster is a symbol of passion, as it is both the owner of a harem and capable of finding a tiny grain in the grass and dust – exactly what it needs; just as passion keenly selects its object of desire from the multitude presented. This can be compared to how Sukuna chooses his opponents.

Ignorance (neglect, stupidity, laziness, foolishness) is represented in the image of a pig. The pig eats everything indiscriminately, unable to discern between good and bad, fortunate and unfortunate due to its lack of understanding. Incidentally, the pig is the only animal unable to lift its head to the sun. However, Sukuna usually regards others disdainfully from top to bottom, like a large pig, experiencing "foolishness" because he has confined himself within the pigsty of his own convictions.

Perhaps not intentionally, but symbolically, Yuji's head is at the level of his heart.

In other words, the cursed energy spawns a concentration circle of hatred , trapping individuals in an endless cycle of conflict,a cycle of samsara- in which people remain fighting with another person with their emotions. - mostly hatred

This could be seen as a vow or a struggle to overcome one's own limitations , by constantly confronting and consuming aspects of the self.

"You weren't merely defeated by external forces, but by your own internal strife—your perpetual disdain for your human side." your downfall stemmed from your own internal contradictions, which morphed into a binding oath (all his seals on his body literally seal a person in him). Your disdain for humanity, extending even to yourself, became both your strength and your curse, corroding your soul from within (gestures toward the mask).

(the mask) Much like Tengen, embodies a constructive "emptiness" that exists harmoniously with the world, at peace with people. However, Sukuna's "emptiness" is purely literal, representing a detachment from humanity, a void of sorts.

You've lost all sense of purpose, consumed by self-loathing to the point of utter emptiness.

he is his strength - and if he loses, he "strength "will die, which means to him that he is nothing(because "I" = strength ),( which everything) he can feel , towards "him " is hate, emptiness ,insignificance - nothing - cant take "love". nothing is nothing - so it his - corpse paradoxically there cannot be “love”, because only the “strong” are loved.

It's as if he can't even comprehend the idea of being loved or valued without his strength. Without it, he feel like a mere shell of himself, devoid of purpose or meaning. - corpse

his "manhtra "

His strength defines him, and should he lose it, his very essence will wither away, leaving him feeling like nothing.-(which everything to him.) Because in his eyes, strength equals identity, and without it, he is left hollow, consumed by feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing.

To him, strength is everything, and without it, he feels empty and insignificant. He's trapped in a mindset where only the strong are valued or capable of receiving love, leaving him unable to grasp the concept of being cherished for anything other than his strength. Without this defining trait, he fears becoming a mere shadow of himself, devoid of purpose and meaning—a walking corpse. His mantra revolves around the idea that his strength is synonymous with his identity; losing it would strip away everything that makes him who he is, leaving behind only a hollow shell consumed by feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.

This fear of worthlessness drives him to cling desperately to his strength, as he sees it as the only thing protecting him from a profound sense of misery and insignificance. It's not so much a fear of death that motivates him, but a fear of experiencing the emptiness and smallness he associates with weakness.

So when he talks to Yuji he projects

You are my special

"Get lost in me" - "Become me."

I wanna feel your heatwave - Break down.

I love you, baby - I hate you

because you don't yield to me, to my strength

A world spinning in ambiguity - on the other hand, if Yuji does not give in, then Sukuna loses his “power” - himself and his hatred,"And will make him feel (1 )'loven'."- (This means that Yuji literally robs him of his purpose - his strength - himself - his self-loathing.)

(1 )This suggests that Sukuna's identity is closely tied to his ability to dominate others, especially Yuji. If Yuji resists, Sukuna not only loses his power and sense of self but also his profound self-hatred, leaving him vulnerable to experiencing an unfamiliar emotion—love. In essence, losing control and self-hatred allows Sukuna to explore a more vulnerable side of himself.

You are my special

"Even if the meaning is not correct, the fact is that they mirror to each other."

He wants to prove that his own existence and self-hatred are justified.

Sukuna conducts " a series of trials " before Yuji, aiming to prove to him that his purity of soul is not the basis of his strength. He expresses the belief that the source of strength lies in the ability to be cruel and hateful rather than kind. In his worldview, strength arises from self-loathing and denial, while love and compassion are seen as manifestations of weakness.

Sukuna seeks to affirm his beliefs through these trials and sufferings. He desires to break Yuji, to bring him down to his own level of hatred, in order to confirm his own existence and self-hatred. For him, pure strength becomes a symbol of his self-loathing - his own "self." He seeks to reinforce this hatred through Yuji, who, in his opinion, is excessively pure and capable of loving others unconditionally, which, in his view, renders his strength useless and undermines his own existence.

Overall, Sukuna's character is driven by a complex interplay of fear and a desperate need for validation through the lens of strength and self-loathing.

SURVIVAL

"You're so weak yet you cling to life?"

CHILD "I"- lack of strength" - weak and misery- unwanted , rejected, unloved, insignificant, unimportant, nothing, profound sense of emptiness and smallness.- DEATH

"You should spend your lives stifling (EATING)your misery. "

(Sukuna -Child - Yuji)

It seems to me that here it is being said that a brother or another close person can replace a parent in terms of providing love and understanding "self", as well as becoming a reliable support for the individual.

Perhaps previously he believed that self-love was meaningless (although he assumed this applied to others as well), but after encountering Yugi's soul, he realized that love, akin to dedication to an ideal, gains significance as it can transcend death and become something eternal, which is the true meaning. This enlightenment proved more significant than Sukuna's physical prowess, piercing his self-perception for the first time and shaking him to the core.

As the only thing he had been doing was killing time to die.

From the expression on his face in these two frames, there is a similarity: when it comes to love, he appears irritated, but this time he felt it - the love - and experienced pain, for the first time in a long while.

Sukuna, as the most powerful being, has moved away from the notion that his strength guarantees victory. Now it's more of a shadow of an ideal—meaning himself as well, because Sukuna possesses only power—a symbol of relentless personal resilience that he finds in Yuji. He has realized that without this strength, he is devoid of purpose, and in his pursuit of it, he has lost everything, including himself and his inner content. While in Yuji, lacking this power, his eyes shine like a beacon of humanity the love he needed—an ideal that transcends himself, through the idea of protecting others, akin to Prometheus his kindness. This irritates Sukuna and casts doubt on his own existence.

The deal is that Sukuna, regarded as the "strongest " was bored and annoyed with Yuji because his strength was based on something Sukuna could never understand or accept—the true essence of love.

Love, as a force and a tool, is immeasurable except through the sacrifice of those who gave their lives for the ideals of higher humanity—those whom Sukuna could not understand and whom he killed in his pursuit of "strength" and acts of violence deemed "supreme" beyond human nature.

Only after meeting Yuji did Sukuna gain insight, and his transformation can be characterized as a (2 )manifestation of love. Because he begins to "understand" other aspects of human existence, such as compassion, selflessness, and the ideals of higher humanity. In this context, his insight and change are perceived as manifestations of (2 ) love—understanding and accepting these human qualities that he previously could not comprehend or acknowledge.

The (1 ) first follows from the (2) second, but Sukuna hasn't understood it yet, he has only feel it.

Sukuna has long lost the battle against his own hatred, mired in feelings of anger and jealousy. These emotions only fill him with disappointment and rage, fueling his desire to seek ways to cause pain and damage solely to destroy Yuji and undermine his faith

The acknowledgment that his kindness - love is genuine and unconditional seems incomprehensible to him, as if he's afraid to admit that such a thing is possible - because he was not loved and had no one. and that means he didn’t need anyone to satisfy him

Short version

He remembers his yearning for love during childhood, seeing it as a symbol of vulnerability and lack of significance. Regarding dependence on someone "stronger" as a weakness, he holds the belief that seeking affection and connections is characteristic only of the weak.

As a child, Sukuna often felt vulnerable due to his weaknesses, which made him feel chained to his flaws. This prevented him from truly loving himself and others, and he believed that only the strong deserved love, attention, and respect. Sukuna realized that true strength lies not in seeking love, but in giving it to others. However, he saw this gesture as a weakness and chose to demonstrate his strength through hatred instead of love. In battles, he "gave" his "strength " - "love "to others as a form of victory, judging the weak (including himself) as deserving of destruction. Sukuna rejected the concept of love as a dependency for the weak and meaningless for the strong. He avoids using names because he sees his past (weak) self in others, particularly Yuji, and despises himself for it.

In the past, Sukuna often felt vulnerable because of his weaknesses. It created the impression that he was shackled by a chain linking him to his flaws. This hindered him from truly "loving" himself and others, experiencing compassion ..? huh. He believed that only the strong deserved love, attention, and respect, and without strength, he was nothing.

That's why Sukuna realized that true strength lies not in the pursuit of love, but in being able to "give" it to others. He concluded that such a gesture is something only the weak need. Therefore, he decided to resort to another way of demonstrating his "strength"—using it as a tool of hatred instead of love.

Here, he seems to be contemplating a reflection that doesn't actually exist, only its silhouette - in the present, or, to be more precise, he sees himself in Yuji - in the past.

I wonder that this drop falls in Sukuna's domain, isn't it?

Sukuna began "giving" his "strength" to others in battles, seeing it as his version of "love"—an act of victory, where he acts as the judge of the battle, where the weak (Sukuna)are destroyed. And he decided to abandon the concept of love, considering it a dependency meant only for the weak and meaningless (now he's above "love" ,he is not a child, a parallel with Yuji and his treatment of him is disdainful-he recognizes himself in him)for the strong.

So he refrains from using his name because he sees himself (specifically, his past self as a child) in him - and despises himself.

Sukuna regarded strength as the sole indicator of success, and it became his driving force, but, like fuel, it only fed his inner hunger, the desire for self-destruction, rather than self?-love. He replaced strength with a sense of his former insignificance. Even being the most powerful, he couldn't stop and didn't find satisfaction, destroying himself, killing his "self" in the process, which ultimately led him to emptiness. - But the fact is that this emptiness is not of a Buddhist nature, not grounding, but self-eating

In the depths of Yuji, there is something that I am sure will turn out to be his hidden power : the ability to transform internal negative emotions into a manifestation of faith in goodness. He will not just suppress these emotions but actively engage in a struggle with them. Yuji uses hatred as a sort of weapon against hatred itself—like fighting fire with fire. He will begin to see "more than he" the idea of hatred as an inner enemy present in each of us, reflected in his own personality, in Sukuna, and in the personalities of those around him.

And thus, Yuji will strive to separate (Cut like Sukuna) his opponents from their "evil" and direct his energy only towards this "evil," which is the opposite of a Sukuna's self-hatred power ,Yuji can be viewed as a mirror reflecting Sukuna's twisted power of love.

So, Yuji will be fighting the "curse" of hatred—hence the title of the series, "Jujutsu Kaisen."

In literal translation of "呪術廻戦" (Jujutsu Kaisen) into English, it can be interpreted as "Battle Against the Curse."

"呪術" (Jujutsu) translates as "magic" or "spell," and can also indicate "curse" or "sinister forces."

Speculation below

The absence of parental love can create a profound void in childhood, leading to a deficiency in emotional support which, in turn, contributes to negative self-perception and attitudes toward oneself and the world. This deficiency often manifests as low self-esteem, self-hatred, and behavioral issues such as aggression or depression. Jacques Lacan's concept of the "mirror" provides insight into how parental relationships sculpt a child's self-perception and psychological development.

It is intriguing to observe how Yuji and Sukuna mirror each other's behaviors.

Identification and emulation: Individuals who lack parental figures may seek to emulate others who resonate with them or serve as role models. This behavior often stems from a desire to comprehend how to appear, feel, and act based on observed traits in others.

Search for emotional connection: People who lacked parental figures or did not receive adequate emotional connection during childhood often strive for intimate relationships with individuals who can fulfill this emotional void.

It's worth noting that characters may not fit perfectly into any one personality type due to their complexity and fantastical nature.

Yuji's identity is deeply intertwined with television. Gege's narrative underscores that he "grew up on television," suggesting that this medium became a surrogate for parental figures and filled the emotional void in his life. His enthusiasm for parodies and karaoke, venues where he could interact with others, reflects his ambiguous sense of individuality, likely influenced by television as his primary source of inspiration and behavioral model. Additionally, his emotionally reserved grandfather deprived him of necessary support during childhood. - if unfounded then Yuji INFJ -INFJs are known as chameleons, adapting to different situations. This clarifies why Yuuji excels in collaborative combat and absorbs lessons from others—he's like a sponge.

Sukuna's depiction as a petulant child reflects emotional immaturity and egocentrism commonly associated with unresolved childhood traumas or deficiencies in parental nurturing. His reactions and demeanor echo characteristics typical of children: egocentrism, emotional volatility, rebellion, and disobedience. His unpredictable behavior mirrors the emotional turbulence of a child grappling with feelings of abandonment or neglect, particularly evident in situations beyond his control or comprehension. - if unfounded then Sukuna INTJ

INFJ : "I may not always understand the intricacies of your emotions on an intellectual level, but I can feel them deeply.It might not intrigue you cold mind , but it brings warmth to your heart." Breathing life into your being."

INTJ: "Your natural stands as an enigma within my ordered world. Yet, I find myself drawn to this anomaly, stirring within me something beyond rational comprehension. This connection, however unconventional, holds a fascination that I cannot ignore."

One feels the other thinks - but they are one -connection between Yuji and Sukuna, suggesting that despite their apparent differences, there is a symbiotic relationship between them. This mean that they influence each other in profound ways, with Yuji's emotional sensitivity complementing Sukuna's strategic thinking, or vice versa. It indicates that their identities are intertwined on a fundamental level, even though they may manifest differently in terms of behavior and personality.

Nevertheless, Sukuna experiences a transformative moment when he acknowledges and embraces the profound love emanating from Yuji. This revelation serves as a form of "enlightenment" or "rebirth," illuminating a path within the darkness of his existence. This is the first time Sukuna encounters unconditional love. For him, it signifies liberation from hidden motives, such as the desire to use others in his childish power games ("me versus you," "who's superior," etc.), simply to kill time. Now, he avoids manipulations he once considered normal but which Yuji interprets as a craving for attention. Yuji doesn't value "power," leading Sukuna to the paradoxical conclusion that he's unloved - the only thing he ever desired. He realizes his past actions were merely theatrics, where he played the leading role, but now, meeting Yuji, everything changes. Yuji doesn't engage in this game, refusing to succumb to the spectacle of death for emptiness' sake. This moment underscores parental resilience, selfless guidance, and dedication to the greater good.

This realization is especially poignant following Sukuna's unsuccessful attempts to break Yuji. Yuji's unwavering loyalty and resilience, directed not towards himself, exemplify a depth of love Sukuna has never encountered. Sukuna's inability to avert his gaze from Yuji, despite the accompanying anguish, underscores his inner turmoil. This revelation challenges his preconceived notions, exposes internal conflicts, and highlights emotional vacancy, reflecting the difficulty he faces in embracing newfound emotions and comprehending the true essence of love and loyalty.

I enjoyed the Darkness attire powers a lot, so I doodled my favorite Birb Man as a Spooky Boi

I wanna talk about Tubbo and Phil

I know there's some strong opinions from many on either character so I wanna share some thoughts on their relationship from someone who's watched both for a LONG time (way way before qsmp).

Tubbos and Phil's relationship kinda is, the closest I can get to explaining is is Bads and Foolishs, by that i mean is that at first glance you would not necessarily think these 2 had the dynamic they actually DO have. It's easy to get swept up in their banter and chaotic messing with eachother or in the way they mostly communicate through jokes and teasing but those 2 TRUST eachother a LOT.

I'm gonna try to not bring the kids into this cause obviously they don't have the knowledge we as the audience do in this sense, but Phil is not someone who trusts easy, the closets one he has to fully being honest with is Fit and even he doesn't know everything. But Phil trusts capabilities, that's why he trusts Fit so much cause he knows the other veteran is incredibly capable. To bring this back to Tubbo, Phil knows that Tubbo is INCREDIBLY capable and smart, he knows the kid is talented, hard working and determined beyond believe. But those who know Phil also know he's just not good at showing this, but believe me when I say he thinks incredibly highly of Tubbos capabilities.

Tubbo is someone Phil trusts relentlessly, even if he sometimes gets things wrong about him as a character it is never with any malicious intent and he sees that kid as family, meaning he'll do everything to help him if called.

Now to Tubbo, tubbo is interesting because his trust is rare, at least his FULL trust is. Obviously he has people he relies on more than others but true transparent trust is something he really only has with the eggs. He does have people he trusts, he just doesn't want/like to rely on others and it's kinda weaving into his need to be the one that people rely on. Now for me I definitely think Tubbo thinks of Phil as a friend, no doubt about it. And I feel like he's also very aware of how Phil works, a lot more so than others (definitely due to their long term irl friendship too). Tubbo knows where Phil's strengths lie and when he can just ask him for tips or advice, Tubbo knows Phil is reliable when called for, Tubbo knows Phil does not talk about his relationships or emotions a lot. Tubbo has been on the receiving end of a few things no other had to see from Phil yet, Tubbo was one of the only ones who during Purgatory got shown how Phil lost all hope in himself and for his kids (seeing in him being genuinely shocked Tubbo was still fighting for them too), But he also got to see how even with that doubt Phil would never leave someone behind he sees as his flock. Phil sacrificed his wings for Tubbo and both know he'd do it again a thousand times over.

Another moment I like to take as example is very early day of Tubbo joining, it's funny cause u can definitely see a like mentor/apprentice vibe which quickly fizzles out once Tubbo finds his footing in what he is good at. A moment that has always stuck out to me though is the kids disappearance day and those leading up to it. Tubbo was responsible for Chayanne and Tallulah during that time (quick side note, Phil's instant trust with those 2 for Tubbo is HUGE especially the fact that Phil knew Tubbo would take his explanations of how to be there for Tallulah seriously) and once the realization hit Tubbo kinda went into this dooming mindset, he saw himself as a failure and was worried about losing the fact that Phil relied on him, basically afraid of losing his usefulness, he spiraled and was terrified of Phil's response but when it actually came to that day? Phil was nothing but instantly understanding, reassured Tubbo, never lost trust in him with the kids down the line and showed Tubbo where his anger truly falls. It was such a simple moment but Neither have lost any trust in the other when it comes to absolute necessity.

And I think that's where a lot of their headbutting or appeared distrust comes from cause those 2 don't want nor like to rely on others. They're used to being the ones that are relied on! But when it comes down to it, when it comes to push and shove they know the other is someone they could rely on in a heartbeat (when I say necessity I mean necessity btw, like full on life or death)

Because when the people who do not ask for help need to ask for help you know shits bad, and it's a little easier when the person you know is so similar yet so different from you that you're aware this will never be talked about again, it's easier to ignore the heaviness if you've gotten used to hide it with banter and jokes. But a flock will never leave eachother down, even if they don't say it.

(Also Tubbo logging out infront of Phil today and Phil wanting to prank him with a spawn trap only to go "I was gonna put Lava here, but he can't die so no I'm not gonna be a dick" is something like, once Phil is aware of something he instantly adjusts to it, he asked for Tubbos equipment before bringing him a boss mob to fight, gave him food during it etc. Cause again once both are aware of something they do instantly jump in or adjust to it)

bro I'm gonna explode

q!philza is always shocked when people build their houses next to him, move into his basement, trust his judgement and advice, trust him with their lives

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST

the new member's first memories of this server are gonna be how you gave them waypoints, then money so they could use them, then explained the bounty system, then swooped in like a guardian angel when one of the players was downed all by herself

AND EVERY NEW MEMBER IS TREATED SIMILAR BY YOU

ANYTIME ANYONE ON THE SERVER NEEDS HELP, YOU SWOOP IN, AVOCADO TOAST IN HAND

I just wanna shake q!philza by the shoulders and yell in his self-depreciating face "YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON AND YOU ARE LOVED!"

This family can't catch a break

Meet the “ there’s nothing wrong with me, but my body is totally collapsing” trio. Or, as I like to call it, the corrupt trio. 🍎

THE ENDER KING

(My take on a possible in-game Ender King model, rendered in Blender and modeled/animated in Blockbench)

Safe to say on my own by ashes remain is basically the theme for the latest philza stream 😂

Guys... Guys i know what song is perfect for philza when he's struggling with enderpookie

•Halsey - Control

•Digital daggers - The devil within

•Ashes Remain - On my own

•Grandson - Blood//water

•Sub Urban - Cradles

•Skillet - Monster

•Set it off - Nightmare

•Shayfer James - For the departed

•Keane - Somewhere only we know

•PVRIS & Miyavi - Snakes

How i wish i can animate rn 😭

Alright Theory Time *explodes*

We've all seen q!Phil's wings. We've all seen the acid/blood/whatever that purple stuff is. This is worse than what the federation did, he can't just wait for a new set of feathers to grow in after a sloppy haircut. It's safe to sat that these wings wont fly ever again.

These wings

Here's what i think will happen. With the amount of times q!Kristin as well as q!Phil's first death have been brought up, I think they'll have a part to play in future lore.

Considering q!Phil has only 'properly' died once, I imagine that was when he met q!Kristin. If we assume q!Phil is a character that gained his wings from Her blessing instead of being born with them, then this would be where he got them.

To put it simply, I think q!Phil is going to die at some point. Properly.

I think he'll stay in the void to heal for a little while. And when he returns his wings will be as good as new and the server will have unlocked the End by then so it wont be unfair

Enderking's thought process confuses me to no end

Be honest guys, is it just me who cant understand enderpookie ass when he spoke? Sometimes I do but its hard, yikes.

Fit & Bagi's conversation transcript about Philza and what ails him today (02/28/2024);

[/rp from 2 hours and 32 minutes in FitMC's VOD (2:32-2:42)]

FitMC : So have you heard any fofoca recently? Got any gossip, tea, drama? Anything?

Bagi : I haven't heard fofoca recently at least about me because I am waiting for y'know Tina to check her room, so we can have some new fofoca?

F : I see, I see, okay.

B : But um, do you know what's happening to Phil?

F : All I know, with Phil, ever since that stuff appeared on his shoulders he has been acting strange. His kids were both really worried about him. When I brought up a sensitive topic he seemed to get really upset with Tallulah, so I'm just—I don't think he is himself recently. Something is definitely bothering him or something's up.

Empanada : It's bad.

F : I don't know, what do you think? *Both read Em's sign.*

B : I agree with Empanada, it's really bad. Because Chayanne and Tallulah were really upset, like it didn't look like Phil. He seemed different, like maybe possessed?

F : Yeah, maybe, maybe.

B : With some disease, I don't know. And they ran away from him.

F : Which is definitely not normal.

B : That's really sad because Chayanne and Tallulah really really love Phil. And Phil looked like he was trying to get away from them. Going inside of dungeons alone and leaving them in the house. I don't know all weird, the weird thing about his shoulders, the purple thing on his shoulders, it looks like that crying obsidian you know?

F : Oh, wait a min—cause it's got like the purple in it?

B : Yeah, that glows a little bit?

F : Ramon do you have a crying obsidian on you? Put it on the ground, I just want to look at it real quick.

B : And I think they had one of those inside the lake, the little lake they have next to their house.

F : Oh interesting. It's like the same colour of purple.

B : Yeah. Do you think its a type of corruption or something? Like what happened to Slime when he was being—well I don't know...transformed by codes?

F : Oh, yeah. Mhm, I remember that. That seems to happen on this island, doesn't it?

B : Yea. Like a contamination or something.

F : Yea it could be a disease, yeah definitely he wasn't himself. *Looks at the obsidian again* But yeah, it looks the colour purple is almost identical to what was on him.

E : Crying obsidian sucks.

Ramon : So crying obsidian is toxic?

B : I don't think so. But maybe a piece of crying obsidian appearing at his place could mean something?

F : Hmmm, maybe.

B : It's not normal to have crying obsidian inside of lakes.

F : It's an unusual place for it to spawn.

B : Yeah, exactly. So it was put in there but, why? Just for decoration or different purposes? I mean it could be just decoration.

F : It's—it's a weird decoration if that's true.

E : I asked him on our birthday and he said its nothin'. I asked him why there was one in his pond it was there on our birthday.

B : Wait, Empanada, did he answer you?

F : He said it's nothing...hmmmm.

E : He said not to worry about it an its nothing :(

F : It must have some significance then it has too.

B : He said not to worry about, maybe it really...I don't know the meaning of this because I never went to the nether. Everyone talks about the nether but I was never there.

F : Yeah but crying obsidian is also useful for making weapons cause it can make respawn anchors which can be used as explosives.

B : Oh you remind me of something. Okay, okay let me try to remember this...Phil had a diamond backpack that the 'Federation' gave to him?

F : Yeah, yeah must be nice.

B : No but it's really weird because the Federation isn't giving anyone anything because they want us to buy stuff.

E : Chay burned it.

B : That was really weird because the backpack came with a letter from the Federation, but not sure if its from the Federation. And a really weird backpack, a diamond backpack and the bunnies are trying to sell us everything so it doesn't even make sense for them to give Phil a diamond backpack. They would at least charge something, like, give me at least a thousand coins for the backpack, I don't know.

F : So you are saying that Phil didn't get it from the Federation?

B : I think maybe its something else, not the Federation.

F : I didn't even think of that.

B : He got a backpack from someone because think about it, the bunnies they don't even give us free food. Every time we need food they aren't even giving us food. Why would they give us diamond backpacks, that doesn't even make sense?

F : You are absolutely right. Like, I didn't even think of that.

B : If you stop to think about it, the shoulders and the back was exactly the place he was contaminated. So maybe it's related to the backpack?

F : You are right, it was all over his back, I didn't even think of that.

E : I listened to Phil's and Lulah's convo and he said he did it to protect them from HIM

[Fit mutes and tells chat : You ever talk to someone and just be like 'I'm fucking stupid?' That's how I feel right now.]

B : Oh yeah, I remember that Phil said that he was trying to protect the kids from 'him'. And he said a couple times the word him but no one in specific that we know, I think. It was always 'him'.

F : But he specifically said 'him', right?

B : Yeah, don't know who 'him' is but he was talking about 'him'.

R : Tio Phil was being a little harsh on Chay and Lulah.

E : He got really mad at Tallulah.

F : You might be onto something Bagi, maybe it is some sort of like he is being possessed or something.

B : Here Fit, check this *gestures to Em's sign*

E : Called her a stupid egg HE WOULD NEVER

F : *Reads aloud the sign* Oh you are absolutely right, Phil would never call any of his children stupid. Something is up, yup.

B : So if you see Phil and he's kinda weird, that's probably what's happening.

F : Well I am glad we had this chit chat so we are both on the same page. Okay we need to be really careful.

B : If he needs anything, oh yeah, and we need to be careful that's right. Because we don't know what he is up to.

F : Cause yeah if he's berating his own eggs, insulting his own eggs, it could turn south very quickly.

*Ramon nods*

F : I'm worried, Ramon.

E : Don't ask him questions, he will think they told us more.

F : Never a dull moment on this island.

B : We should keep the kids safe. Chay and Tallulah can stay here if they need, they already know that but if they need anything they can come to us.

F : That's a good idea yeah, as long as they have somewhere to go.

B : I mean for now I really don't know if I can help Phil, so I am just trying to keep the kids safe.

F : That's the most important.

B : The real Philza would appreciate it.

F : Yeah, keeping the kids safe that is the first priority. That's good stuff, isn't that right you two? *Addressing Em and Ramon who nod.*

B : I think Phil needs to deal with it.

F : It's always something on this island, Bagi, it's always something.

B : There's always something.

[Bonus transcript between Fit and Ramon 3:09-3:12 relating to Philza's affliction]

Fit : Ramon.

*Ramon nods after they both teleport home from BBH's place*

F : When we were talking with Bagi about Philza it made me realise something. I remember, a long time ago, this was a few months ago, remember when I was dealing with all the black concrete? Like all the dark matter that was on the island?

I specifically remember Philza mentioning a thing. If I recall correctly, he mentioned something called the 'Ender King'. And I am starting to wonder if maybe that's what's been messing with him. Cause think about it; the crying obsidian, the obsidian, that's what you find in the End Dimension, right?

*Ramon nods*

F : This things called the Ender King...he thought he was seeing things and we thought maybe he was just imagining them—but now we can see there is something on him. Something we can see with our own eyes. I just wonder if it's related.

Ramon : So now it's not only in his mind?

F : Exactly cause at first we thought maybe he was just imagining these things but it's clear this is actually some sort of outside force. And that's why I am a little bit more concerned now. That's why I am way more concerned.

R : That sounds dangerous. Not only for him but everyone.

F : Yeah, cause if his behaviour towards Tallulah and Chayanne yesterday, or the other day, is any indication then this could be a problem for a lot of us. So we really gotta keep our eye on him and support him anyway we can.

F : *sighs* But, man, when it rains it pours. Cause we have our own problems to deal with, Ramon. Especially tomorrow, I mean Friday. I can't ever remember what day it was, I am so frazzled. So much going on at all times on this island. When it rains it pours.

Guys... Guys i know what song is perfect for philza when he's struggling with enderpookie

•Halsey - Control

•Digital daggers - The devil within

•Ashes Remain - On my own

•Grandson - Blood//water

•Sub Urban - Cradles

•Skillet - Monster

•Set it off - Nightmare

•Shayfer James - For the departed

•Keane - Somewhere only we know

•PVRIS & Miyavi - Snakes

How i wish i can animate rn 😭

in my opinion, qphil isolating and exiling himself is only going to make things worse or delay the inevitable: as shown yesterday the enderking wants qphil to isolate, to not tell anyone, and luckily for our evil demigod that is exactly how qphil operates. he holds secrets in hopes of not hurting others, not getting them involved. and we just saw what happens when he has a support network helping him, he broke free from enderking’s grasp even for a moment. but that bit is not the only reason why his isolation is playing straight into enderking’s hands: it’s his insecurities as well. ”i’m a shit dad” ”i need to prove myself worthy of protecting” ”i need to provide better for the family” ”i need to be stronger” - all insecurities that are qphil’s downfall. enderking has already played into his need to provide for the kids as well as the want to be stronger (the buffs in the dungeon), what’s stopping him from digging his claws further to qphil’s core, his insecurities and weaknesses now that he has no one to break him out of his self-deprecating loop? when all he has are his thoughts, the caws of a crow and the voice of him? if no one finds him in exile, i think he will lose himself again, betrayed by his own mind

Please delete this is if being rude! I’m not sure how to word things properly and don’t want to sound like an ass! And really sorry if I come off as one!

To me personally I’m not really satisfied with phils Ender king arc. Don’t get me wrong! It seems really interesting! But…I’m not sure. My brain can’t latch onto it as easily

From what I’ve heard his acting is amazing! And it’s really interesting! But it doesn’t feel surprising, you know?

It feels like you knew what was going to happen, like oh yeah, Philza Minecraft gets possessed, neat. That it doesn’t have the plot twisting “oh fuck what now??” That most shows or books or other media would have

And it might be a problem server wide, to be honest.. it feels like knowing what’s going to happen takes away a lot of the emotions you feel when it happens. Because you were expecting it.

Fits current deadline arc I think negates this pretty well, you know there’s a deadline, there’s a threat of some kind. But you don’t know /what/ exactly is going to happen. It’s not fully spelled out yet

Or, I think another good way of negating this is tubbos death arc, where it was a spontaneous, spur of the moment type deal. So your like “oohhh holy hell, what??” That kind of shocked silence like end of an episode in the middle of the season with a cliff hanger type thing. (However, creation specifically saying that he was going to come back fucked up did sort of change things instead of letting it be seen subtly, which I would have preferred. But also a lot of people might not get that so it’s a ehh 50/50 kinda thing)

I think someone else who didn’t do this well was BadBoyHalo. I love his lore, I cried over it I will admit. But I knew what was going to happen, he was going to die, he was going to come back wrong, it took the whump out of it. Sort of. (Though he did an amazing job with the egg streams,,,sobs)

On another thing, I think my perception of the lore is different then yours because of what media I regularly enjoy. I usually watch tv shows, movies, or read books. I enjoy lore seeming like a tv show or movie, meaning I enjoy more subtle things that one might pick up from watching a tv show. (Background stuff, character movements and behavior)

And forgive me if I’m wrong, but you play and enjoy ttrpg right? I think those who play them enjoy more obvious roleplay lore, like where you can see everything like a board game, you can see the DM roleplaying character specific lore (unless you seperate..forgive me again I don’t do dnd type stuff lolzz) so stuff that’s more in your face, and sort of expected is your jam. You know?

It’s just an interesting psychology(?) thing I noticed in this fandom. I might be talking out of my ass but. Yeah.

I also think media comprehension might be a big part also. But I’d get into that at a different time. And culture, it’s a whole smodge podge of cool stuff that I fuckin LOVE it’s like. Grr grr grr grr grr and likekdkfkgkrkrkg this is why I’m planning on getting a doctorate in psychology and this stuff BECAUSE ITS SO COOL GRRR

Sorry for turning into a small mammal

(Idk if it’s important but I am a Tubbo main, so that might change things also, I didn’t want to add it because I know you have a. History. With us and I didn’t want to like change how you saw this but yeah. Uhm. Yeah. Anywayyy)

Idk how to end this

Uh

Ball. Singular. One single ball. Yes. That’s it

(about the end anon lmao dont worry about it. i am aware not every tubbling is terrible, there's just a LOUD part that grips onto toxic internet culture way more than others and i cant stand it)

onto the other topic…. eh, let's agree to disagree

see, phil and bad's lores (to me) are entertaining because you see it coming.as a phil viewer i can tell you he's been laying down the road, and leading us to conclusions for about half a year now! if we hadnt taken the hints and gotten to some conclusions, it would have been terrible on us. that is one way of doing narrative: constant foreshadowing of things to come. it reads very much as a greek or classic english tragedy: they tell you from the beginning "this is a sad story, the people you are about to meet will suffer and most of them will die", and you go into the story with the sword of damocles hanging on top of you, never knowing when it's going to drop. and im pretty sure if you ask bbh viewers, the answer would be similar!

both characters have been having their lore that just happened building since before purgatory, and both have been keeping and giving consistent subtle hints at what was going to happen/could happen since then. bad had his breakdown and loss of his purpose when the eggs were gone, the entire loss of his color and brightness and reverting to his more primal demon state, the allowing the vultures to hurt him was the start of this entire plot and that was back in october, if i remember correctly. you can trace a direct line from where his arc is today, passing the radiation damage, the cognitive issues he had, passing to the way he acted in purgatory to his breakdown in the server alone with curucucho hallucinations to his colourless state aaaall the way back to the eggs going missing. he’s been laying down a very clear road, and his watchers (and those of us keeping up with it not as closely as ghosties) were able to see that road, see where it was going and still had the hope “maybe it will end well, maybe it will be different”, but it wasn’t.

basically the same can be said about philza’s lore. as someone who has followed it close, there’s such a consistent character he’s been playing, and a narrative that he’s been building since the eggs were taken… the birdhouse, the hallucinations, the doubting what’s real and what’s not, isolating himself after it in an attempt of hiding, getting help from a protector, having that safety ripped away… hell, these past weeks we didn’t even notice his ramping greediness, because he played his character so well that we were all going “haha, bird man go brr” that it wasn’t until it became obvious and we looked back at the past weeks that we all began panicking at how obvious everything was. it was once again a road that had been laid masterfully, and we could see where it was going and we were being taken there

both phil and bad are those type of story tellers, the ones were you can see where you’re going clearly, and the ride to that conclusion (not even, because there’s more to go!) is what is exhilarating and enjoyable. because there’s a huge satisfaction in seeing the story bit being completed, the satisfaction of a narrative conclusion you knew was coming and wanted to see fulfilled…. along with the inherent tragedy of being a greek chorus trying to warn the protagonist of a tragedy they themselves are writing, but being unable to change the conclusion of i

this tension is also a super intense contrast to phil and bbh's general demeanour as silly guys, both are people who have dealt with horror, loss and tragedy, but manage to live through it by their nature and they both still manage to be sturdy sources of comfort and happiness for those around them. AND at the same time their self-isolating nature, and their tendency to take responsibility for everything around them and to put all the weight on their shoulders and never share their burdens with anyone is their ultimate undoing. and those are some of the best kind of characters, for me at least

on another hand, fit's narrative is very much similar to what both phil and bad have been doing (subtle build up, big lore-focused moments to amp up the narrative, self-isolation and not communicating to the others what's going on, leading to a very clear -to me at least- conclusion that is not on his control), so it's kinda wild to me that you're praising it while you're so critical of both phil's and bad's

while i enjoy the overarching narrative of tubbo's current lore, i am not a fan of a few of the choices he has done narratively…. not in the story perse, but how it bounces off of others (players and npcs alike), but that is just me. and also, it genuinely feels like watching an M. Night Shamalan movie, where he's trying to do as many plot twists as possible to try and keep the audience engaged through shock value and "who knows what might happen next! i dont, and you dont either!!", instead of laying down solid building blocks that keep people coming back for more the next stream because of you knowing something is going to go down, in a specific timeframe and with assumed consequences. tubbo is amazing at character RPing, he's great at emotional story beats and to bouncing dialog back and forth with people, but -TO ME- the way narrative appears out of nowhere, with no narrative build up to it is just not engaging. again, this is just how i see it, and why i personally just dont find myself watching his streams as invested as say, phil's, fit, bad's or bagi's

i will also say, kinda weird that you assumed i dont watch or enjoy other medias that you mentioned, cause like. i was a literature major, i love books, i love movies and shows, i am a gamer and have been consistently playing genshin mainly for the lore and story since 2020, i love anime and longform mangas, and im very much a theorist in an almost manic way when it comes to the media i consume (i am also an autistic with pattern recognition, and tend to predict foreshadowed plot twist/story bits in advance with a 9/10 accuracy)

and also, yeah your understanding of ttrpgs and how they work is kinda wild, because ttrpg narrative is NOT obvious lmao, you dont get how ttrpgs and that much is obvious ebcause literally nothing is on the board (hell, 80% of the time there is No Board To See), and 95% of shit that goes on is improv, with the other 5% being the DM clumsily herding cats (the players) back towards the main narrative. i've seen players walk over rather obvious story bits and miss them entirely, i've seen DMs have to re-write entire campaigns because the actions of the player were so out of what they expected that they shifted the narrative on its head (hell, i have been this dm). i fucking adore improv narrative and improvised storytelling, and, im sorry if this is not how you meant it, the way that you wrote about it feels incredibly condescending :/

i will also say, you said "from what i hear his acting is amazing" so, you havent watched… so how can you say that his lore isnt subtle? that there's no improvisation or off the moment scenes? there's a lot of his lore that after it's done he'll tell us "i had no idea that was coming, the admins threw that shit at me out of nowhere". bad has also talked about improvising parts of his lore in the past even if the big thing on itself is all planned, but i dont know that much about it, maybe ghosties can corroborate?

all in all, i genuinely have no idea what you were trying to get at with this ask. it feels like you're kinda trying to imply that because i enjoy phil's lore and you enjoy tubbo's, you have a better media comprehension than me? which is. kinda wild. like i said earlier, idk if that was your intention or not but your tone ("stuff that’s more in your face, and sort of expected is your jam. You know?") reads as extremely condescending or that you believe im stupid/dont have media comprehension based on the fact that i…. enjoy stories that have build-up that leads to a clear cut payoff?

idk man, this is for sure one hell of an ask to wake up to

you STUPID egg.