Bad Buddy Meta - Blog Posts

i know we all know how much pat considers pran's feelings and needs with their new relationship.

but the first thing i noticed when the curtain dropped and they had to face everyone in the theatre is that once pat processed what was happening, the first thing he did was to look at pran to see how HE was processing it all.

his first thought was to know how pran was feeling, how he is reacting so that he'd be able to know how to act himself.

i love that throughout the entire episode, we saw once more how this is a give and take relationship from both sides. they're both fairly new at this yet they try to understand the other, prioritize the other, they COMMUNICATE.

pat knows how much more difficult it is for pran to process their relationship (mostly because of their families and friends) although pran wants it as much as pat does.

i just thought it was a really nice detail that just showed once more how much of a walking green flag pat is and mostly how important pran's feelings are to him.

Still not over how that scene was improvised ..

No estaba en el guión

Sweet Basil - ep 6

OKAY so remember this scene?

WELL, look at what google says about the symbolism of ‘sweet basil’:

GOODBYE.

This moment is so important. When they finally discuss their pain aloud, forgive one another, and put the blame where it rightfully belongs; on their parents. While reassuring each other that in spite of everything that's happened and the pressure from the people around them, they definitely don't hate each other. & it breaks my heart how desperately they both (but especially Pran) needed to hear that but the relief on their faces when they do makes it all worth it. This is the moment they finally begin to break free from the influence of their families. NOW they can start moving forward together.

two things i really loved about this episode:

1) pat actively encouraging and urging pran to talk to him

that is one of his characteristics that i absolutely adore i admire. he understands that communication is key – whether it was trying to figure his feelings out, or after their fight in ep. 5, or after pran ran away after the kiss – he was always there, knocking on pran’s door, ready to talk to him. and it wasn’t any different during the beach trip. he knew that pran’s overthinking and he knew how to approach him and he knew to write ‘kiss?’ in the sand instead of saying it out loud, but that only goes so far if he doesn’t even know what the real issue is. like he said “if you don’t say it, how will i figure it out? how can i possibly understand you?” he might know how pran works, but he can’t actually read his mind and he can’t help him if pran is avoiding him and giving him the silent treatment. so he tried. he tried his best to let pran know that he doesn’t have to shut him out. that whatever is going on with him, he can talk to pat. he really said i’m here, talk to me, we’re in this together, we’ll figure it out

2) pat’s relentless and unwillingness to back down so easily

so far, we saw pran being brave and putting himself out there, ready to risk getting his heart broken for pat numerous times. and now we get to see pat doing the same. the lengths he went to just so he could show pran that he won’t give up on them? constantly going up to him in front of his friends?? almost getting beaten up by wai?? showing up at his HOUSE??? he was ready to push all the limits and didn’t care about the consequences. because none of that matters to him anymore. what matters is pran.

and that is exactly what pran needed to see. i mean, he’s terrified. he’s already lost so much just because he and pat were friendly. he literally had to transfer schools and give up playing music just because his mom found out he and pat were in the same band. so, can you imagine what will happen if their parents find out they’re dating? all hell will break lose. and pran knows that. and he knows he doesn’t want to risk losing it all again because, this time, so much more is at stake. i feel like he was fine being the one to get the thick end of things the last time (like he said to pat, he doesn’t hate him for it, he doesn’t resent him, he’s just angry, and not even at pat, but the situation itself) because it was a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things. yeah, he had to move and his mom was angry, but at least no one found out about his feelings for pat. at least pat got away unscathed. but now, if people find out that he still has feelings for pat, if they find out that pat has feelings for him, if they act on it, the ramifications are going to be so much bigger. so much worse. and you bet pran’s going to do everything he can do avoid that. he’ll do anything he can to protect both of them.

but what he doesn’t understand is that he doesn’t have to protect them. he doesn’t have to do anything on his own anymore. because pat is here now and he wants pran back just as much. and by going against everything they know, by repeatedly risking being seen with pran in public, by facing PRAN’S MOTHER he’s showing pran that he knows the dangers and he knows the consequences, but he doesn’t care. he’s willing to stand up to their families, to their destiny, to the entire world because that is how much he cares about pran. that is how much he means to him. he’s ready to do whatever it takes to fight for them. but he can only do it if pran’s going to be right there next to him every step of the way

i can't stop thinking how much of a conscious effort changing pran's look was in ep 5 bc he really does look the Prettiest he has in the series and its all thru pat's eyes. just the thought of p'aof having the makeup team spend a little extra time on him so the audience would be able to fully live thru pat's experience makes me smile like. i really wonder how thoroughly they thought things out and i wouldn't put this beyond them considering how drastically different this ep has made our viewpoints on all the other characters.

When Pran said "You've got to stop doing this to me. We are not a thing" on the rooftop, I found the English translation a little confusing. The first sentence makes it sound like Pran is asking Pat to stop being clearly romantic with him because it's hurting him, but the second sentence makes it sound like he's telling Pat to stop being clearly romantic because it's not appropriate to the kind of relationship they have, without any romantic feelings on Pran's part. Can you shed any light on what exactly Pran was trying to communicate?

Oh certainly.

This was one of my favorite parts because they used super subtle language rather than the usual Thai words for couple (which I can't spell but can now recognize) or faen.

The first bit is Pran saying basically:

"I've had enough. Stop jerking me around, emotionally. You've been flirting on and off with me for years and it's not fair. Because i know what's going on and how I feel about you. And I kind of always have since the pond incident."

The second bit is:

"It's not fair of you, Pat, to do these kind of things to me (possession, jealousy, casual affection, flirting) without you, Pat, having actual romantic feels for me. (And acknowledging them.)"

Pran thinks Pat is being casual with him. But Pran is not a casual person. This is about sincerity. 

I think Pran also thinks that Pat hasn't acknowledged his own feelings to himself yet. Remember, they have known each other a very long time. And Pran is a lot more self aware than Pat is (and he also knows that). I think he realizes that Pat is a little in love with him but Pran believes that Pat will never come to place where he can admit that to HIMSELF.

Thus the kiss is a real shocker to Pran, because he didn't think it would ever happen. And it's not that he thought Pat didn't have the guts, or wasn't action orientated, it's just that he didn't think Pat would ever have the level of self awareness required.

Pat grew up in the course of one episode, if I were Pran, I'd be surprised too.

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As an IRL example, it's not quite the same thing but...

You ever have that friend who is clearly queer but just isn't yet?

So they aren't pretending, it's not even self delusion, because they just don't realize it. Sometimes it's family background, but sometimes it's just that they are too emotionally young. They haven't figured themselves out. How can they when they haven't had the right life experiences yet? They aren't to be blamed or pushed because of this. It's a void not a wound.

As friends (or sometimes family members) I think we often see queerness in the people we love before they see it in themselves. (Especially if we are a little older and already out.)

Because we, personally, aren't dealing with the guilt, shame, fear, loss, and rebuilding of identity that society's expectations place on our friend's way of thinking about themself. (Even if we've been through it, it's different for everyone, and we can easily forget because we want to.)

Even if the friendship group or family is accepting, it can be super hard. Because then there is a whole new set of expectations to come up against.

When analyzing Color Rush, I mentioned that no one really talks about how first love as a queer person is also a grieving process. (And anger: why must we grieve as we experience passion for the first time when the hets don't have to?)

Because as we open the closet door and walk into a queer identity we mourn the dead straight identity we left behind.

----

Which is a long way of saying, what we see on this rooftop with Pat & Pran is first love and new passion, but it is also grief.