Damian Wayne - Blog Posts

Okay listen I adore batsibling content in fanon but each group gets a different type

Gossipy more like friends 80% of the time. will shit talk each other but if anyone says shit they’re getting decked. It’s fluffy but in the “you know I love you right?” Is said really awkwardly after the other sibling is surprised you’re on their side way Jay and Dick

Sweet and fluffy I don’t like angst in this at all give me a very healthy very wholesome soft relationship that’s just good all the way through Tim and Dick

So sweet it hurts tooth rotting fluff needs the same taste as cotton candy with the weight of a brick Dick and Damian

Bratty younger sibling and anger issues older sibling get into fist fight and are hugging 30 secs later. Will punch each other in the face and then defend the other one against their parents without blinking. Damian and Steph

Very very awkward affection like I love you and would die for you but we’ve had like 3 whole conversations. Damian and Jason (on Jason’s end Damian’s a lil shit)

You know when your little sibling is finally no longer insufferable and you can finally chill together at family events and you’re like. Fuck wait you’re growing up stop that’s illegal. Damian and Tim

“I broke your laptop”

“Yeah well I put nair in your shampoo”

“I should’ve killed you at the tower”

“Don’t be a lil bitch bc you couldn’t handle the gig”

Jason and Tim

Supportive big brother who brags about his sisters achievements while being a lil worried she’ll beat him and no one will ever need him again and baby sister who tries so hard and does so well and hopes she’s living up to their expectations (dick and cass)

I’m friends with your ex now and so sometimes I’ll bring it up to fuck with you bc I think it’s funny energy like Steph tells Cass about what Tim has done during their relationship and Cass who loves Tim but also women has to affectionately beat him up now (Tim and Cass)

Cass and Damian? I don’t think I’ve ever seen these too interact in a fic where Cass can speak actually…. Fuck we need more baby Assassins squared content in this fandom

Let us commiserate on the absolute cringe of everyone else here without acknowledging we are just as bad (dick and Steph)

Cass doesn’t like Jason and so I will leave them out

Remember these aren’t their canon relationships these are just what I like to read in fanon (inspired by their canon relationships in most cases but also fully canon with dick and Tim we ignore any authors who say otherwise my babies)

Bats on Christmas (where are they?)

Dick: with the titans, has been pleasantly buzzed since 8 am. Phone has been off since midnight. Ate his weight in Christmas dinner and candy. Will meet each of his siblings one on one every day after (Jason and him get shitfaced on new years) but currently his head is on Donna’s lap and his legs are on Roy’s and he’s in a constant state of almost sleepy bliss (no one is dead shush)

Jason: binging Xmas movies him and mom used to watch at his apartment. Alfred sent him a full spread (listen in my country we do turkey and fix ins for Xmas idk what Americans do on Xmas) and he’s just been enjoying a quiet day in a nice apartment (bc I refuse to acknowledge or accept anyone being ok with Jay not having a nice warm apartment. If Dick Gave him a safe house he bought with mob money or he actually kept his drug lord money idc he has a very pretty apartment idcidc)

Tim: with Steph and Bernard, they’re shit talking him to bond, him and dick will meet and exchange presents the day after Xmas and he’s panicking bc he completely forgot to buy dick a gift so the three of them are at the mall while Tim gets increasingly worried

Damian: mad he’s not with Dick, at the Kent’s instead. Got the most presents bc all his siblings gave him stuff and both Dick and Bruce bought way too much stuff

Bruce: doesn’t do anything for Xmas and hasn’t since Jason died. His mom was Jewish so until the kids it just wasn’t a good time for him (for obvious reasons) and now his kids don’t really come home so he had a very peaceful night in and unlike literally any other time Christmas is surprisingly quiet in Gotham.

Steph: has collected a bunch of embarrassing Tim photos and is showing and telling Bernard info Tim wouldn’t let be known on his death bed while Tim is panicking over dicks gift. She spent Xmas eve with her mom so now she’s just chilling bc she already bought Dick, Cass, Damian and Tim gifts so she’s safe.

Cass: with babs since her dad has to work they’re having a very small and quaint Xmas together but it’s nice and them

Alfred: actually goes to mass

Random headcanon number 20207483927

-Dick doesn’t spy on his families teams

Because he doesn’t need too

They’ll either tell him what’s happening

Or their teammates will

He’s friends with 80% of them anyway

Jason Todd was honest to god on a team with Dicks Ex who still adores him and starfire /j

No but really Roy and Kori 100% have doxxed Jason’s entire life to Dick Grayson

A) bc I will ignore any canon where these 3 aren’t close

B) Kori has never had a filter ever

C) Dick absolutely has indoctrinated the fab 5 into mission reports and now they feel weird without a debrief

D) Roy would find giving Dick and ulcer over the stupid shit his brother does hilarious

E) Roy would find giving dick and ulcer over the stupid shit HE does so so so fulfilling (revenge)

Damian is on the Titans.

No matter what titans generation of titans it is they’re responding to Nightwings status report request, fully detailed in MLA format with a reference list following APA 7 guidelines

Dick does not have to worry about young justice despite the fact they are very much NOT snitches bc Tim absolutely calls Dick and Doxxes his entire life story to him once a week minimum

(See Tim telling Dick random shit in the comics causing him to lose his balance and fall a compilation Im sure exists)

Both Clark and Wally are on the justice league. Bruce’s every dangerous move is reported to Dick via Clark and all his stupid ones are reported to Dick via Wally.

No matter how weird Dick and Babs relationship (on again, besties, off again, not talking etc) is she’s absolutely telling him either via concise email or 7 hour long sip and bitch session every single thing that happens not for help but bc ughhh wtf is happening.

Now frustratingly the same is not reciprocated

Bc

“Donna or Garth would kill me” -Roy

“*graphic details of sexcapades to distract from question*”-Kori

“Nightwing is busy” -oracle (babs just leaves when asked as a civilian)

“I’m sorry it’s just so hard to not talk to him okay?? He’s so nice” -Jon during supersons

“He’s my friend too, I can tell him what I want” current jon

“Listen he barely talks to me as it is I’d rather he still come to me with issues and insecurities without worrying his father will hear it” -Clark

“If you think I’m saying shit to you, you’re in idiot, if anything was wrong and I told you you’d make it worse go fuck yourself” -Wally

(OG Bruce Wayne hater of titans. him and Roy do fight over this title at the titans new years. Wally thinks Roy lost his place bc he found a new bird to be mad at the bat over so his timeline should shrink. Roy thinks this is bullshit bc now he hates Bruce for reasons of bird^2)

Damian Wayne is canonically an artsy animal loving nerd with mild to moderate anger issues expected of a 10 year of child or divorce.

Like I’m supposed to believe he’s cruel bc he has a sword? I’m pretty sure at age 10 sword was also on my Christmas list okay I don’t judge?

And honestly who hasn’t tried to kill Tim Drake (except dick) it’s their love language

He’s also like 15 now (which is crazy) so obviously he’s not as wild as when he first hopped on the scene.

Avid Damian Wayne haters must be SEETHING rn.

Like imagine mischaracterizing this character as angry, ‘feral’, evil, the worst, and then finding out one of their hobbies (outside of literally saving and helping people as a vigilante) is VOLUNTEERING AT A HOSPITAL.

The eternal dichotomy of hating how Alfred pennyworth spoke about and to a young Dick Grayson

Vs

Loving how he talks about adult Dick Grayson and all forms of Damian Wayne

Things I think about late at night

-discowing was Dicks dads costume

-the mullet everyone cracks jokes about (same) was given to him my mirage

- the OG Robin costume was based on his parents and his circus costumes and now it’s black, gray and orange

- Jason Todd’s biggest fear is not living up to Dick Grayson (in Bruce’s eyes)

- Damian Wayne’s biggest fear is disappointing Dick Grayson

- DC tried to make Dick and Donna a thing (no..just no)

-Dick and Damian both have a compulsive need to pick up strays (is this Bruce’s fault or did they bond over this?)

- Tim Drake is so cool in the comics and I wasted so many years hating him cuz fanon Tim is a lil bitch boy

-Jason Todd is such a loser in canon but it works so well on him god damn

-I’m actually rlly annoyed that Steph is never a contender for nightwing I think she’d do rlly well tbh

- Steph’s backstory is way sadder than Tim’s we should absolutely talk about it more

-Lian Harper :(

-Tim is so funny when he’s just some dude who ADHD hyperfixationed his way into a “I got adopted by my favorite band” y/n self insert fic except the band was a collection of deeply unstable people who fight crime and also happens to have an IQ of 180

-

This image

- the fact that Bruce and Dick/Damian/Tim have a deeply dysfunctional relationship and I need them in family therapy

- Cass isn’t actually Bruce’s favorite she’s just the one that should be.

- the fact that Jason Todd canonically likes Dick Grayson and doesn’t like Nightwing

- the fact that Donna and Stephanie Brown aren’t friends and have never had a run together in canon (they should be- give me mentor-mentee vibes fr ong)

- Damian wants to become a doctor like his grandfathers and his mom <3

-the fact that Dick missed a solid portion of Damian’s development if you consider both spryal and the Ric arc to have happened in the same timeline

- Dick stole Bruce,babs and Damian’s super

- Garth, Dick and Donna are a sliding scale of blue to black costumes (they come in a set!!!)

- the fact I don’t have enough Dick and Garth fanon and canon content

- Jason/ Red hood needs an iconic establishing story like Nightwing year 1. I feel like Dixons Grayson is so easy to reference as like the “standard Grayson” before you add all the other (imo better) stuff from other future runs and tbh I don’t think Jason has any (if you disagree gimmie some recs)

- the fab 5 are called that in canon

- Garth didn’t have any friends pre joining the OG titans

- nightwing is on every Pride cover every damn year and he hasn’t kissed Roy or Wally yet? Sir? Plz

- Wally lost his wife and children multiple times in canon

- young Roy was bitter and wanted to compete with Robin!Dick but adult Roy wants to punch Bruce in the face bc he realizes bby Grayson was so abnormal

the reason I hate the "Tim doesn't trust Dick after Damian/spyral/ric" is because they are besties your honour.

Like there's a post going around that I cannot for the life of me find that says Dick is Tims trusted adult and they are so right fr ong.

Because despite what Fanon believes Dick is a pretty chill guy and people take one look at him and go "let me unload my emotional baggage on you"

There's like a very famous panel (that im too lazy to find or remember the name of the run its in okay don't yell at me) where Tim basically goes "soooo my girlfriends pregnant" and Dick nearly falls off the roof.

Tim is calling Dick for the dumbest shit imaginable to the world ending and so are the rest of the batkids.

so I have taken the Canon that Dick knows if not all but most and generalised it to hell.

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Jason has been on a team with like 80% of OG titan members

they're having gossip session

Jason in a war zone dodging bullets with his bat travel mug in his hand: And THEN! Kori and Roy shared this look and you know the look they give you when they're judging you for bat reasons and you're like tell me why you're mad I was raised by a crazy person my normal levels are skewed.

Dick in NYC with a blueberry bagel In one hand, his Turkish coffee in another, just finished meeting up with Donna who gave him THAT exact look: No REALLLLL why are they like that, just tell me which one of the creepy traits I internalised as a child is bothering you.

Jason: omg you get it anyway so I grab the bomb and start playing soccer with it because its round and im bored and starfire takes it away like idk what im doing? bro ive been bombed I know how to work with a bomb..

Dick: hmmm and then what happened

Jason: and then.....

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Tim: Dickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Dick: yea Tim

Tim: Kon is being a dick

Dick: oh?

Tim: yeah and its really starting to bother me man

Dick who knows Kon is dead and Tim is either hallucinating or drugged to be more susceptible to manipulation and is already on his way: hmm tell me more babybird whys he upsetting my lil brother

Tim about to tell Dick what is a fever dream bc he contracted pneumonia and is loopy off his ass on painkillers:

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steph does this more with babs in the hero scene but its just... so easy and totally gets into the habit of it after Dick is her Batman for a bit and now she uses him as her civilian life therapist

Steph on her way back from campus: and then this bitch looks me up and down and pours her coffee cup down my shirt!

Dick on his way back to blud after decking bruce in the face: hold on hold on hold on she did what??

Steph nodding vigorously even though he can't see her: pulls my whole ass sweater away from my body and pours her peats coffee down my goddamn shirt Dick.

Dick: omg she didnt

Steph still nodding: she DID and then I found out from Jonny who found out from Vivian that someone told her I made out with her boyfriend at Leos house party

Dick who has no idea who any of these people are: wait but you were at Leos for like an hour max last week. we has smoothies after.

StepH: exactly so I had proof that I wasn't there and confronted her and went like. I don't want your crusty ass alt white boy whose favourite 'indie' band is the neighbourhood. I dated Tim fucking Drake the OG crusty ass white boy and I don't do repeats

Dick choking on his coffee:

Steph: anyway we are besties now and planning on getting her boyfriend back because apparently he cheated on her with this drop dead gorgeous girl and im high key a lil complimented she thought we were the same person.

Dick who initially called for casework and is actually so happy one of the people he calls siblings is actually like living a life outside of vigilantism: tell me more

Steph: you sound a little teary

dick: don't worry about it

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Damian: Richard

Dick: Damian

Damian: so I might be skipping patrol with father

Dick:? what you love patrol??

Damian: and school

Dick: Dames? what's going on:? is everything okay? you can talk to me

Damian: I am volunteering at a hospital

Dick: kid

Damian: Listen before you sAY anything I know what we do is important but I think I can help in another way and -

Dick had brown parents and was training for the olympics at 8, totally knows what its like to have insane expectations and rebel with a day job: kid kid calm down okay? you wanna be a doctor? is that it?

Damian: well? I dont really know but I just? there has to be another way to help people. besides what we do I mean-

Dick: Alfred left me Thomas waynes journals I initially thought they were to bash your fathers head in when he was being stupid but it seems the old man was looking out for us. Wanna take a stab at your other grandpas legacy when you come over next weekend. I'll tell Bruce we patrolled so you get a few more days off.

Damian: you're the best

Arabic in the batfam

@leefail has gotten me obsessed with how arabic would work in the batfamily

because arabic is natively spoken by 230 million people and is taught in any muslim majority to country because its considered poor faith to recite the Quran in any other language.

its also the most inconvenient and stupidly difficult language to learn in human history.

why?

because it is a colonial language

meaning the Arab empire happened and we all switched to arabic but unlike English... there wasn't the internet for people to learn how the 'og Arabs' spoke it and Arabs didn't slaughter and replace like the puritans they just taxed and converted (slaughter optional im not ignoring north Africa but it was region specific)

so that means that arabic which has a collective vocab of about 12.1 million words as well as a nasty habit of giving 100 words the same meaning as well as assigning 1 word like 8 meanings got practiced by these arabic speaking countries differently

so certain words fell out of use or changed meaning in one country while being startlingly popular in another

it also means that a lot of arabic regions maintained their older speech patters

latinised softer letters in levant countries closer to Cyprus due to the presence of Aramaic, syrianic and latin.

harsher more guttural sounds in regions that were closer to Iran.

so what does this mean? and Why does this mean arabic is a bitch to learn

well for one you don't write in your regional dialect, you write in modern standard or fus7a which is a whole other beast. Meaning that you don't really learn to speak in school.

two the dialects are significantly different enough across the region that people who learned arabic in Lebanon won't understand people from morocco.

now we are all SUPPOSed to speak Modern Standard Arabic but you have to understand how little it is used outside of like legal jargon. so you kinda lose it once you leave Arab formal education.

Which means if you immediately default to MSA 99% of Arabs will assume you are a cop like if you know the word for government but not skirt... come on man be less obvious.

Now most us speak 1 -3 dialects and understand 9-10

me personally I speak a levantine dialect and can understand most Egyptian, Jordanian and Gulf dialects. Iraqi and the rest of North Africa (with the exception of Tunisia) not so much.

Now what does that mean for arabic in the batfamily

its too useful for the Bats to not use

so do all of the bats speak arabic 1000%

Do all of them speak different dialects 1000%

Here they are imo

Bruce: Bruce is a cop (MSA) He can code switch and speak all the dialects but he just genuinely likes MSA, its the most complex and intricate form of the language and what's most commonly used for things like poetry and literature. But it does mean that his speech comes off very stilted and cringeworthy to most Arab speakers. The first dialect he learned was definitely Egyptian because its the one that's the most common in music and television as well as having the largest group of people speaking it (110 of the 230 million are from Egypt)

Dick: now I have no evidence for this but Dick Grayson would speak Lebanese arabic. It's notoriously the softest of the dialects and has the most higher pitched and flippy tones. His mother also grew up in France which would Fit for Dick since Lebanese Arabic tends to substitute harsher arabic words with French. the most common greeting in Lebanon is 'Hi, kefak ca va' which is English, arabic and French. And for a cameleon character with such an interesting and convoluted ethnic background I think picking the softest dynamic tongue with the most intersectionality fits.

Jason: Jason todd speaks Jordanian arabic, Jordanians are the most hilariously creative people in the mid east imo. there are turns of phrase from Jordan that kinda make you pause and blink for a second because damn... okay then. I have never met a Jordanian without a degree in the most creative insults you've ever heard. Jordanian arabic is also very close to stereotypical Levant arabic which still maintaining a lot more of the harsher more guttural sounds that countries like Lebanon and Syria tend to exclude. Jordan also has a huge Bedouin population and I just think he'd match that vibe

Tim: Tims parents were archeologist.. Egyptian. Tim has the heaviest Egyptian accent when he speaks arabic. His parents definitely had him learn it in hopes he'd follow their footsteps. Ja become Ga and he works so damn hard to keep the accent out of his words to try and hide any identifiers and he fails miserably. He also uses it the most out of the kids and he can read and understand MSA fluently unlike Dick and Jason who are fine readers but cannot speak it for the life for them. Tim also does the international students Mix and Match where you sometimes just use a word that's country specific to other countries. Tim doesn't tell Damian he understands it and so Damian has the most intense shock of his life when Tim replies back to his angry arabic muttering.

Damian: So I know that talia studied at the university of Cairo but I feel like Ra's speaks a very old form of arabic so I think Damian code switches quite often. I picture him speaking like a Saudi upper court dialect when he's talking with Ra's and I think talia does the same. But I think Damian is most comfortable somewhere in-between Jordan and UAE arabic with more levant terms of endearment (because of the aforementioned softness and ik talia isn't a soft parent in canon but she is one in my heart so there) and more casual speech following GCC speaking patterns. Tho I think Damian can understand and speak all of the dialects including the less popular ones like Moroccan daraji.

Steph: I have zero evidence and not even an elaboration but if steph was Middle Eastern she'd be Iraqi bc vibes so that's what she speaks fuck you im right. It's definitely on the harsher side tonally but idk she gives the energy of using it and teasing Jason and Dick for using frou-frou arabic. Tho I will absolutely make the argument that she learned Syrian arabic for a friend pre her involvement with the bats.

Also Steph, Dick and Jason do sip and bitch sessions and they disagree on the correct way to make coffee. Jason is absolutely a traditionalist, Dick is a Turkish coffee believer and steph adds way too much cardamom.

also also Jasons favorite poet is Darwish, Tims fave is Al-muttanabbi, Dicks is Gibran (ik he spoke mostly in English but tell me Dick Grayson isn't gonna freak over 'your children are not yours they are children of the world') , Bruces is Qabbani. Steph doesn't like poetry but she has absolutely read memoirs of a woman doctor by nasal el saadawi and loved it

Okay but I have questions?

Is it Arabic coffee or Turkish coffee?

And if it’s Arabic coffee with or without cardamom???

Talia is definitely a Turkish coffee person she also does the thing where she flips it over, swirls it and reads the meaning.

I think Ras would be an Arabic coffee drinker but he’s one of the puritans who likes his coffee light, kinda how they serve it in Saudi. Like the pale green one with a small plate of dates.

But there’s one thing I think is really funny

Listen Arabs don’t… really drink coffee alone in a full house? It’s just not really done.

You also don’t drink coffee quickly

Coffee is a period of time where you sit down and get all the gossip from your family members if you’re a matriarch (I’m talking elopements, marriages, divorces, cheating scandals with the Al ghuls probably all of that + murders, assassination attempts and or plans etc)

Can you imagine Damian moving to the manor and seeing Alfred the eldest member of the household serving people tea and then …. Leaving?

Or taking his tea by himself for a well earned break?

Personally if I was 10? It would freak me the hell out if my grandma was sitting alone having her coffee when my mom and various aunts and uncles were in the house.

Or my GREAT grandma omg no that’s just eerie

He’d be so confused?? Like wtf are you doing?? Or like how people have coffee with breakfast here instead of after??? Like you don’t move to the sitting room and have coffee with tiny bite sized desserts or dates? Are you okay? Why are you having a pot of coffee with your oatmeal?

In my Arab region (I can't speak for the others, but I'm pretty sure they have similar things. Add your stuff if you do!) Coffee time is kind of sacred and is tightly regulated with heavy traditional rules. Especially so for the male populace.

Coffee makes the man! (Literally, I can't stress this enough)

Men and women alike are trained from a very young age on how to make and serve their coffee. A coffee with a good colour is a bright sign for your guests, and the way you serve is very telling of you.

Doors are ALWAYS open for guests, and HUGE halls are prepared to accommodate them (they can reach hundreds, depending on your dad's popularity). A household's head is a very blessed man when he has children/grandchildren because he can brag about them by showing their serving skills off. Those children will be scrutinised and judged according to their coffee serving manners. It's a very integral part of a charming character's traits for us. So, parents, especially fathers, are very strict about this.

Aside from guests, families have daily coffee time for themselves, too! It's very respectful to serve your mom and dad coffee. So it's expected from you.

Considering Ra's personality, serving him coffee as a grandson would be a nightmare.

Imagine Damian refilling the finjaan again and again in front of an elegantly sitting Ra's until he gets it right? Imagine him waiting (while standing, maybe for an hour or so) for Ra's to finish his finjaan so he can refill it again? Imagine how LIVID Ra's would be when Damian accidentally fills the finjaan to the top (a message that says, are you satisfied, yet? Get out! In my region) imagine Ra's asking Damian to serve coffee for his villain allies?!! Arabs and non?? And imagine people getting to know and hear about him from his coffee serving, like a good Arab son, before they know him from his sword?

Also, when he finally lives in the manor and sunset arrives and Batman is sitting by the batcomputer, deeply focused, and then is surprised by a finjaan presented to him because it's coffee time?

Damian would be very confident and proud of his coffee making and serving skills he would expect from Bruce nothing but sipping and asking for a refill, because his father should know his manners.

Bruce would know nothing about this but would, of course, sip (not drink! Drinking bad!!!) without question, and will continue to accept and sip every. Single. Day before patrol without knowing what is happening but going along with it because he's pretty sure this is Damian's way of bonding.

Which is not really true because Damian is only performing his duty as a son. He never really understood the core meaning behind this tradition because for a long time now, the art of Arabian Coffee was only a skill that was expected from him and a part of showing good grace. But as days pass and the number of people being served coffee increases and coffee time becomes a routine before each patrol for the whole family, when dates and snacks and small talk and occasional laughter join in, the very meaning behind this tradition clicks with him, and he serves it with a smile.

Okay but imagine for a second

You’re Bruce Wayne, Batman

The richest, smartest man in every room you have walked into since you turned 20

Every bit of information is at the tip of your fingertips money, brawn and brains are no object

And then you take in a child

Named Dick Grayson

From the circus, who has the most flimsy proof of his existence you’ve ever seen with a birth certificate that looks too worn to properly make out the parents named without knowing them before.

No passport despite traveling all over the globe

No form of identification

So you give the kid an ID and everything is fine

He becomes Robin

Joins a team

Becomes nightwing

Runs all the teams

Becomes Batman

Runs himself into the ground

And then Dicks in his 20s and he’s sick

Really sick

It’s not viral, fungal, parasitic or bacterial

No one else you know has this

And he’s getting sicker

He can’t walk without help and spends all his days wrapped up in blankets fighting off never ending shivers.

He mixes up his brothers names and sometimes outright forgets some of the kids

He didn’t recognize Kori a few weeks ago and hasn’t remembered her since

So Everytime he blearily asks “who are you again?” They All answer with the knowledge that this might be the him decaying blue eyes don’t spark with recognition

The first time it happened it was horror and tears “an Oh my god! I’m so sorry I love you you’re my brother” over time it’s devolved into an “oh right…hi Jason”

And the doctors ask for his family history

Maybe. Maybe there is something that could save him, bring him back or stop this descent… this fall from happening to the most untouchable man that’s ever lived.

(Tim threw up after he saw Dick burst into tears, head resting on Alfred’s shoulder when he realized he couldn’t walk without help- they need to stop this)

So they dig

And dig

And dig

And nothing

There’s no evidence of the Graysons before John, the Lloyd’s before Mary.

Neither had been to a doctor anytime in the states at least

Bruce had redone all of Dicks vaccines once he acquired guardianship of him.

There was nothing

Nothing on his aunts or the uncle that was his namesake

There’s just nothing

Bruce realizes he doesn’t even know Dicks ethnic background. 1000s of tests he’s ran and he doesn’t even know if Dick has ever been to his parents home countries

They do every test they can come up with to try and fake a comprehensive family history

Mary Grayson was a fake name

So way John

They don’t know the real ones

Bruce finds out the mother of his son is Syrian and Romani and the boys first father is Afghani and Italian.

He finds out Mary’s father fled from Syria during the 60s and settled in Germany

He finds out that John Grayson and his brother were orphans together

He can’t even tell you which one of them gave Dick his blood type.

He knows everything

He’s the smartest man in every room he’s ever walked into

And he won’t be able to save his son

Because the boy who holds Bruce Wayne’s very heart in his hands knows that the best way to stay in the shadows is simply to show so little everyone will fill in blank spots with jarring inaccuracies so seamlessly they won’t even notice they did it.

They’ve called everyone

And Dick just keeps getting sicker

I’m fighting off Demons (an unknown virus) so here are the Bats various home remedies/ how they behave when ill

Bruce: can’t stop won’t stop moving if I die I die ig? Illness is a mindset for himself. For his kids? Give him 3 hours he’s synthesizing a cure his babies will never be sick in his presence how dare you.

Dick: makes the most bomb lentil soup and also has about 90 million metric tons of ginger tea with lemon and honey. He saved a beekeeper early on as nightwing so he gets really high quality very nice ethically sourced honey that all the Batkids keep trying to steal. He does the R&R except he’s an acrobat so R&R is doing paperwork while on coms

Jason: Lazarus pit + a childhood running around in very unsanitary environments means he’s never sick. But when he is he always just assumes this is the end for him and he won’t wake up the next day bc he everything hurts. (He has literally been ill like 4 times in his life he doesn’t know what to do here) so he just kinda finds a corner to die in like your elderly pet and he wakes up fine after a few hours and he’s always surprised.

Cass: has never been sick will never be sick

Steph: Steph is on top of her shit, she has a whole ass gallon of soup delivered, pre portioned and frozen in microwave safe containers. She also has a drawer of various vitamins, cough drops and syrups. She doesn’t have time to lay around so she tries everything to get up and at em as quick as possible. Sadly due to this she ends up with like a really weak residual cough for a few weeks even if she got 99% better after 5 days

Tim: L+ ratio + no spleen + has to be put in a sterilized room for observation if he so much as coughs

Damian: steals Dicks lentil soup, Steph’s vitamin gummies and cuddles with his pets if he knows illness wont transmit to pets. Or if he’s feeling really bad he gets very cuddly with his brothers but only Dick and Jason because they both run very warm and he must steal the warm. But also he rlly only goes to Jason when he’s delirious and in pain because he just doesn’t want the teasing. Bruce he’s a sick Damian wrapped up in a bunch of blankets with his arms around dicks neck sleeping peacefully and gets violently Jealous.

Duke: goes to doctor, takes his meds, it’s the only thing he’s normal about. His parents taught him well he’s not gonna ignore that.

In honor of thanksgiving (which is where you give people thank you notes? Idk I’m not American)

What each Batkid is thankful for this year

Dick: Donna Troy being alive and the fact that Bruce was mind controlled and Dick got to punch him

Jason: saw Dick punch Batman

Tim: his very heathy, very cute relationship

Damian: he finally got to replace all the colors on the Robin suit, black, gray and orange it is!

Steph: saw Dick punch Batman

Cass: fought wonder woman

Duke: his mom isn’t insane anymore

Or

Dick: punched Bruce

Jay: saw Dick punch Bruce

Tim: Recorded it

Damian: pretended he didn’t see it

Steph: posted video on clock app and made t-shirts

Cass: did not like Dick punching Bruce

Duke: reposted Steph’s TikTok

YALL DONT UNDERSTAND

My favorite part of Bruce and Dicks relationship isn’t the unending loyalty and devotion and the self assured destruction of loving a man who hates himself on Dicks part and using an eternally flying man as a your stable ground on Bruce’s part

It’s not the adoration that feels like shackles or the unending trust that feels like raking hot coals over your back

It’s the fact that Dick Grayson will always love Bruce Wayne

And also

Always want to kick the absolute shit out of him

Violently

Like Dick has pent up rage and we see him lash out at people but almost never has he ever attacked any loved ones physically with the exception of Roy Harper after the women who they both loved more than life itself passed.

But with Bruce?

Yeah no

Dick not only hits to hurt

He hits with the aim of getting Bruce down and keeping him there.

It feels like vindication to him

He borderline revels in it

I mean look at the hits he landed during the Gotham War run or Forever Evil/Spyral

And then there’s Bruce

Who knows

Because he is not an idiot

And he knows he fucked up with Dick more than the rest as Robin (nothing can really compare to how he treats Jason as the red hood)

But do you think Batman feels guilt over the fact that Dick HAS this much rage and bitterness over the things Bruce has done

Like Dick in unendingly Kind and forgiving but he’s also and pardon my French, a dick (lowercase) so he absolutely holds resentment over the stuff Bruce did to him even if it’s water under the bridge in his day to day

But he’s still mad

He’s still mad over the loss of Robin

The gauntlet

The death of Jason Todd

The court of the owls

The reveal of Damian Wayne

The fact that Dick had to be Batman

The fact that Bruce died

The fact that Bruce told Dick he never should’ve been Batman

The fact that dick had to continue the cycle of orphans raising orphans

(no he doesn’t count Talia as a parent cuz then he’d have to view her as human and human life has value and in his opinion she has no value and should go find a nice comfy corner to die in like an old cat)

The fact that he was basically pushed into a pseudo father role with all the kids past Jason

Letting him kill the Joker

Bringing the joker back to life

Damian’s death

Steph’s fake death

Spyral

Losing his memories and leaving Dick alone at spyral

Showing Dick a video of him getting shot in the head when he’s mentally a 12 year old and also an amnesiac

And about 6 million other heart wrenching things

So yeah Dick hits to hurt and those times where Bruce has lost control (mind control, clone, fight etc) and Dick has Carte Blanche to cause harm to Bruce

He

Does

AND THIS IS WHY THE

“I need distance from you this is toxic” fics don’t work (I however love them plz send me some)

Because

They will try to murder each other, beat each other bloody, torture each other.

They’ll degrade each other publicly and ruin each others lives

Then they’ll go for a burger together

Bro every time Bruce fucks up Dick sneaks metal blocks into boxing gloves while switching between excitedly whistling and humming “the bat is going down the bat is going down, I smash his face in every place the bat is going down”

Jason stole dicks costume (nightwing this time) and murdered people in New York with it. Risking Dicks at the time only healthy relationship (Clark Kent) then stole back his Robin costume (scaly green short shorts and all) and went to beat to death the other Robin and write shit on the walls in blood

Everything Tim Drake has said to Stephanie brown would get any man punched, bound and publicly whipped. And the shit he said to dick During battle for the cowl??? he was 80% of the way through reanimating John Graysons corpse to tell dick he was disappointed in him throughout that whole arc. And everything that ever happened during the Red Robin run is not only added to shit that we apparently needed in the Geneva convention but assumed it would be common sense and people wouldn’t do it

Damian: tried to kill every

Single

One

Of

His

Siblings

And not only are all of them friendly to each other

Not only do they team up

No no they fucks hang out

Like willingly text each other and go ‘hey let’s get a burger’

I need to talk to people who like the same flavor of batfam dynamics as me. Dysfunctional but loving, maybe to the point the rest of the fandom gives us side eye. I'm talking platonic BD/SM, them overprotective over each other.

Those type of fics of the non con threats without anything actually happening.

Where do I find my people

Don’t argue with me and I refuse to elaborate

BatBrats as hozier songs

Dick:

-Angel of small death and the codeine scene

-empire now

Jason:

-take me to church

-eat your young

Tim:

-it will come back

Here is where the I won’t elaborate is the the strongest

-too sweet

Damian:

-arsonists lullaby

- shrike

Sometimes I feel like us as the bat family fandom forget how starry eyed people get about Nightwing canonically.

Because with the exception of early era Tim most of the Batkids are like. lol that’s my loser older brother or some variation of yeah…he’s some guy I guess? He helps me with homework?

And Nightwing is the canonically a center of multiversal light.

When Heroes meet Nightwing they do the vigorous handshake and the “it’s an honor to meet you sir, I have heard so much about you oh my god”

There are so many character where they are literally shown giggling and kicking their feet whenever Nightwing talks to them.

Even the people who don’t have the celebrity level worship of him respect the hell out of him and call him as soon as they need help.

From raven to Starfire to Superman to Superboy to all or the flashes there is so much respect and awe given to this one dude.

And it is deserved

But imagine you are Damian Wayne and you’ve been working with what 90% of the people you’ve met (all bats) have been calling an embarrassment to your father’s legacy.

Your mother hates him and your Grandfather doesn’t feel that strongly about him.

The red hood calls him an embarrassment and a coward and he couldn’t even keep Red Robin from running away.

Your father tells him that he never should have been Batman

And you’ve worked with him and you know what you think everyone is full of shit about him and you and him the new Batman and Robin are the best no matter what anyone says.

And fuck it the fact he keeps going in a suit that everyone tells him he’s not good enough for is scratching something in your brain that you’re refusing to acknowledge because why would you feel that way? You are the circus freak have nothing in common (shut up)

And then you meet the justice league and all the extended teams.

And people are falling over themselves to listen to a word out of your brothers, your Batman’s mouth. They wait for a nod or headshake and dictate decades worth of planning on it.

Both Drake and Todd’s hero teams ask him for advice with or without their designated bats presence.

The man of steel asks for child rearing advice and wonder woman cracks a joke about a spar

Newer heroes whisper about him in the halls

He’s literally your favorite hero’s favorite hero

And it’s breaking Damian’s Brain

Because well… he kinda gets slapped around in Gotham. He’s the butt of half the jokes the other Batkids make and Dick just smiles and takes it.

The rogues have a bounty on nightwings ass and he gets leered at by goons, rogues, civilians and anti-hero’s alike and he doesn’t say anything.

He lets oracle crack jokes about a pretty face and having to do everything herself

Let’s Jason run the alley despite the fact that apparently he knows how to take it back

Apparently he’s had 12 people tailing Drake since Paris and despite being the man Ra’s Al Ghul calls detective has yet to notice. (Because you can’t tell me Dick was just magically at the right place to catch Tim falling to his death on coincidence)

And necessary to peace talks because he’s the best they have at deescalation

Like imagine you are a child who was raised to believe power is this obvious, all consuming thing. That the ones who control the board are visibly larger than life figures who fought their way to the top and cling to power by even the thinnest hangnail if they had to.

People who ignore simpler morals or an overall greater goal or good

And then you’re taken in by the man who whispers the correct answers into the larger than life figures ear.

Like I feel like that would have such an impact because Dick didn’t take power from anyone to reach his goals, it’s why his siblings don’t really defer to him unless in crisis.

Dick didn’t take power, no people just looked at him and decided he was the best option to give it to.

Everyone basically looked at this kid and went, yeah you’re the future of all heroism.

And if that dude can’t even get Bruce Wayne’s respect what chance does Damian Wayne have

Dc slapping Dick Grayson on the top of the head: this bastard can hold so many different personalities.

Dc slapping Bruce Wayne on the head: this bastard can hold so much angst

Dc slapping Damian Wayne on the head: this bastard can hold so

So

Many

Issues

Dc slapping Jason Todd on the head: mommy issues? Yeah all of them! Right here baby! It’s a 4 for one deal!

DC comics are so exaggerated to the point that very talented writers cringe writing fanfiction for it

Because what do you mean a human 170pound 5’10 man survived falling from a building by tucking and rolling

Or that same 170 pound man’s best PR being 1000 kilograms

Or like

How did a character break his back and within a year return to business as usual

Or

How does a 10 year old have more general knowledge of the world than most members of the justice league

Like?

I have seen so many phenomenal fanfiction writers struggle with the batfamily because in their mind 2 months of torture is enough to brainwash and mind control them.

Which like yeah….sure

Except that it’s not

Like canonically all of them can shake of torture for longer than that

Or like a near drowning experience or after holding their breath for 3-4 mins

Like that above human capability

But I fear

All of them can go for 7+ mins

The their stats are broken

Or like 2 characters will speak in a language and another character won’t know it.

Dick Grayson has never had a language he previously knew stripped away and they introduce a couple new ones every few years I’m like 80% sure we’re in the mid-20s early 30s for those.

Or

Crowbar sounds are triggering for Jason

Jason wearing a bomb helmet and using a crowbar as a weapon Todd

Character could instantly tell something was wrong with the other

…every member of the batfamily at any given moment

“I am numb I feel nothing focus on the mission I am numb don’t show anything focus on the mission I am numb I don’t feel anything focus on the mission I am numb I don’t-“

Like I love my angst

But Tim had his WHOLE fucked up Red Robin run and proceeded to go fuck it we ball after

Dick Grayson: parentified eldest child who loves his family too much to cut contact, will willing drain 1/2 his blood and take a possibly deadly vaccine if it means his dad is okay

Jason Todd: black sheet child who resents the elder sibling for willingly ruining himself for a man who will not bend his belief to accommodate a child he claims to love

Tim: well fuck the parent pushed the eldest child too far and he’s little to no contact now (I didn’t even know you could do that?) now the parent is self destructing… i guess it’s my turn to be the emotional support child

Damian: youngest child, borderline raised by eldest sibling, internal conflict of this is your parent vs this is the man that raised you and instilled/cemented the moral beliefs you try so hard to maintain in you.

Tag yourself

I think the only time I have ever called my brother akhi is as a joke.

However I will say I am a stereotype and habibi, hubi, albi, hayati all leave my mouth when I am talking to loved ones (familial, platonic and romantic) but

Damian can’t really use these because not only are they sugar sweet

My love, my heart, my life (translations)

But also because they’re usually used from older to younger in a family context it’s not an explicit thing but with sibling relationships it’s very rare for the younger sibling to use these terms even in formal situations.

However do I believe that Dick would absolutely call Damian random pet names bc he thinks it’s funny how Damian flushes- yeah absolutely

DAMIAN HOWEVER would use Arabic to say shit that you cannot get away with in English

And he’d be fucking visceral

“عقل يخرا، و طيز تفكِّر" your brain shits and your ass thinks

‘I wanna hang your mothers pussy on a laundry rack and let it rain dicks’ is one we as a society do not use enough ‘بدي إنشر كس إمك عحبل الغسيل و خلي الدنيا تشتّي إيورة’

Tell me he wouldn’t???

Also Talia would absolutely call Damian Ya Rouhi instead of like habibi

And yeah mama, would absolutely come before ibny

This is just a mini info dump from an Arab batfamily fan because I find Damian calling his siblings Akhi... adorable (for me as a native speaker watching a writer use Arab words) and, not painful, just... itchy, it URGES me to make a pptx with 300 slides and just? Talk about Arabic?

So... أخي, Akhi, Brother.

It's not incorrect. The word is used in the right place and delivers its intended meaning. Other Arab speakers might not find a problem with it. They'd feel odd like I did but will likely go "eh" and carry on. But I'm an Arabic enthusiast, so...

Like with every language with geographically widespread users, the Arabic tongue kind of- deviated from its roots. The language has naturally branched out into so many dialects I myself can't keep track of.

Arabs from different regions can understand each other. They use the same words but for different purposes and with different pronunciations.

The original root language that holds them all (Quranic Arabic) was simplified into an easier, standard version that is used for formal speeches and as a communication bridge (seeing that you can't, say, translate something to Arabic and say it's for all Arabs if you use a certain dialect. Because an Arabic dialect is an identity at this point, tell me somebody is Syrian, and I know them already)

Now, with the fun part.

See, no Arab calls any sibling of theirs Akhi, I myself would burst laughing if mine did.

Yakhoi يَخوي (nonstandard, everyday Arabic for o, brother) , maybe, if I'm calling a stranger from the streets or an offender I'm going to give a piece of my mind.

Or, hold your breaths, my brother is crying, and the lights are out and I NEED to use the tenderest, most loving, most adoring, most revering tone I could muster so he just knows he is loved and family. Y'know? This specific situation.

And other Arabs might just say, no, I use it when, I use it when, I don't use it, etc.

The point is, nobody will mention Akhi. Because it's a Standard Arabic word, a formal word, and a word used in translated texts and stories when a foreign character we don't consider part of us call their brother. It's weird, it's devoid of emotions, and it's like watching a robot trying to be emotional, but it's a translated text. That's what translated texts use, and it's fine.

It is fine, Standard Arabic has been used for stories so much that nobody questions its influence on a character's characterisation.

I'm not saying Standard Arabic shouldn't be used for story writing, quite the opposite, in fact. I'm just saying that if Arabic is used to represent an Arab, its usage should also consider an everyday Arab experience and manners.

Now to Damian.

Akhi is robotic. Damian's personality does allow him to fall under that category. If for his well refined manners and polite, formal speech.

But even the King wouldn't call his brother Akhi.

He'd call him by his name. For my community (and most, I'm sure) siblings are called by their names, and if we look up historic Quranic (Root) Arabic speakers, they, too, call their siblings by their name. Yes, even the Sultan.

If not by actual name, then either endearing or demeaning names.

Arabs LOVE endearing names, but they're dipped in a pool of honey I don't think Damian would like to dive in.

Talia, on the other hand, would most certainly call Damian Mama. Arab parents call their kids by their own titles. It's the ultimate expression of parental love of all times, in my opinion.

(Don't make Batman call him Papa, though. Pretty sure Damian would malfunction)

-

Well, I said all that, but watching writers include Arabic words in his vocabulary is still sweet. Tt is not even a word, but it's such an Arab thing it's my favourite.

If only I could make subtitles of everyday Arab talk and show you, their speech is heavy with, excuse my English, word softeners, it's like they're talking in a TV drama and not the real world.

Watching Damian adopting it would be interesting :D

Listen I love the ‘dicks being ostracized from his family and self destructs’ trope in fics however

I would like an inverse just once (I could write it but I want this fic to be good so I can enjoy it and I am not the greatest writer) where everyone blows up at him and flat out lays into him and he just goes… okay… if that’s how you feel?

Takes himself off of the patrol routes and rosters. He’s off the emergency calls and his ‘call for city wide emergency’ has been down graded to ‘call for world wide emergency’ he’s no longer on comms with oracle

He stops offering assistance to the other kids teams, doesn’t send info for investigation and doesn’t go within 100feet of Gotham.

Takes himself off the den-mother, baby sitter, trainer for all the younger teams lost that involve any and all bats

In the beginning he vacates his apartment and temporarily moves in with Donna in New York and things are good because of course they are. They’re Dick and Donna a world doesn’t exist where they aren’t okay.

And then his presence in New York leads to a lot of the og core five titans interacting and they realize that they miss each other like hell and start to work together more and more. Until news sites are like ‘teen titans grown up??’ ‘Original titans spotted doing hurricane aid in Florida!’

Because Dick loves his family but he knows when to bow out. And he chose the family he made in the new teen titans.

And then one day one of the bats track him down in nyc and breaks into what is now Dick and Donna’s apartment and are ready to argue that they need him back and need him there for a huge Gotham wide event.

And Dick says ‘sure okay let me get my stuff and we leave in half and hour’ as soon as the first sentence is out

No convincing or begging or asking for money (cough Jason cough)

Dick is patched into their comms and he’s working efficiently except he’s not… acting like himself.

He’s collaborating with whoever they tell him too, no problem, he’s discussing ideal plans and co-ops and teams and how to best get it under control.

But he’s talking to them the way he talks when he’s offering aid to teams he’s not a part of.

Like the hero version of an acquaintance and no one can call him out on it because he’s doing good work. Work that’s on par with his work before this whole fiasco. He explicitly isn’t letting their personal issues affect his work.

He’s speaking but not talking

And Bruce remembers this… he’s probably the only one who does because last time he was the only one included. The last time Dick acted like this is when he first visited Jason and him after he had been fired.

Whenever Bruce was in the room and Dick was forced to speak with him, the conversation never strayed past business casual especially around Jason.

Batman and Nightwing got into screaming matches

Bruce and Dick were strangers

And now they’re back to this, 7 kids later, a million ends of the world stopped, they’ve bled together, cried together and clung to each other in pure relief after they managed to clutch victory.

And Nightwing was treating Batman Inc like a new team stepping onto the scene.

Once they’ve secured everything and managed to keep Bruce from self destructing and making it worse. Dick just leaves and tells oracle that he’ll send over his debrief in 3-5 business days and it was nice working with them.

And then he’s gone

No cave, no manor, no Alfred, no med-bay because Dick doesn’t stay places he’s not welcome.

And after they all talk about that and how weird it was and Bruce reveals Dick did this before when he was Nightwing after Bruce fired, where Dick Grayson didn’t know Bruce Wayne.

And one of the kids asks when he broke and stopped the act and Bruce just says ‘the day he found out Jason died’

And the Batkids kinda freak bc what do you mean?? What is he only going to come back when someone dies? Thats not? There has to be another way?? And Bruce is like yeah no idea sorry (bc he’s helpful like that)

So then Steph the next day resolves to go visit him, Tim isn’t the only professional stalker. And she finds Dick and Donna’s apartment and well it’s daylight and she’s in civvies she’s if she climbs in through the window she might get reported to the NYPD and she doesn’t wanna get arrested or shot to door it is!

And so she goes and knocks and Dick opens the door and just lights up

Something something this is such a nice surprise something something it’s so good to see you.

Dick had taught Donna how to make some of his mother recipes when they were kids. So now whenever they’re together for a long time they cook together.

So Dick who is usually living in a cluttered apartment with no clean dishes and an exclusively grab and go food is now trying to force feed her some of his cooking.

Because he picked up the habit again since he’s the better cook between him and Donna.

And it’s delicious and he wants to catch up and hear everything that’s going on in her life, is she working with new people, dating anyone? How is her relationship with her mother etc etc.

It’s a nice day and she stays late and never confronts him on anything until she sees how long ago the sun set and she needs to get moving.

He hands her paper with his number and makes her promise not to give it to the others or she will lose access to it, he offers to help her on a conditional basis as nightwing but only her, she can call him about the rest if it’s an end of the world or they’re near death and need immediate aid.

And that’s like the fic because the key to winning nightwings assistance is like breathing (optional) but if you’re Dicks family you have to care or else. He’ll love you and help you, when you need it but he won’t tie his life up with yours, he’ll spend his time with people who value his opinion and the person behind the mask.

Anyway cue all the Batkids trying to do what Steph did and fail because they’re neurotic shits who think bonding involves doing casework together or a steak out.

(The next person to crack it is Damian, completely unintentionally he has a fight with Bruce and can’t ask him how the fuck he’s supposed to solve this equation in the new stupid way they’re teaching him no he can’t use the old method they’re supposed to show their work so he pulls up to Dick and Donna’s in a ratty ass hoodie like plz wtf do you mean you work top down explain Grayson- and dicks like awww no problem kid)

Batkids parenting

Dick: Dick treats his kids like they’re adults in terms of how he speaks to them. He’ll hold his 2 year old in his arms at the museum and calmly explain the systems that are in place to create rainfall. He answers literally every question with extreme patience that “why, why, why?” Toddler era would mean he started prepping to leave the house 3 hours early because he needs time to explain things to his kids and he won’t do the “because I said so thing” even if it kills him. It also means his toddlers are insanely advanced and can by the time they’re 5-6 they can do complex physics equations while swinging upside down on the monkey bars.

Jason: spoils his kids rotten, like violently rotten. There isn’t a single thing they want that he won’t get them. Goes on patrol later to read them bedtime stories. He’s a professional helicopter parent. His kids somehow turn out extremely sweet and humble despite the fact they have never been told no. He avoids the PTA like the plague

Tim: any child Tim has is an identical copy of him and he suffers. Bc why is his four year old trying to follow out of the house. Child powernaps through life the exact same way Tim refuses to have a full eight hours no he’ll have 30 power naps tho. Which means getting any children to sleep through the night is hellish. The children are hellions and whenever he complains to Dick about them Dick just cackles and goes. YOU SEE THATS HOW WE FELT ABOUT YOU. The worst part is, they’re perfect little angels to everyone else so no one except for the people who were around to see Tim grow up believes him when he complains.

Damian: Damian’s children end up feral not because of Damian Nono they’re like Robin Dick Grayson type of feral. They have the cutest lil noses and the biggest eyes and the most angelic faces and now they’re climbing the walls. See Dicks kids do this because dick has no bones and walked on his hands before his feet, Damian’s kids do this because their older cousins are their prime baby sitters. Damian comes home one day and his 7 year old is on the chandelier and it’s a perfect match of 30 years ago when Bruce came home to Dick chilling on his vintage 18th century chandelier. Naturally he freaks and tries to yell at his nieces and nephews who see nothing wrong with this because why wouldn’t you climb walls? Dad does it all the time??? Why would you have objects high up if the goal wasn’t to sit on them. Damian might look like Talia but he feels exactly how his father did all those years ago.

In terms of behavior

Jason’s are the most well behaved in general

Tim’s are the most well behaved in public

Damian’s are little menaces but they grow out of this (somewhat)

Dicks kids are a combination of him and his partner and judging by Dicks taste and general demeanor means they never have any chill… like ever.

I miss my pets so here are the Batkids as different images of my pets

Dick :

Jason

Tim

Damian

Cass

Steph

Duke

Bonus:

Alfred pennyworth:

The bat family is split between Dog people and cat people and I refuse to elaborate

That’s a lie I love elaborating

Bruce:…cat person for obvious reasons I mean come on he’s had a will they won’t they with Selina Kyle for like 50 years atp

Dick: Dog person listen Dick likes cats but Dick is the one who sits on concerning thin ledges and moves like he has no bones cats he and cats are too similar. + dogs are more excitable, energetic and affectionate and after dealing with Bruce Wayne for damn near 2 decades you become allergic to any form of open communication and one must try to acclimate (like that girl on TikTok with the carrot allergy)

Jason: wants to be a dog person Is a cat person. He was always a cat person and but he lies and says he used to like dogs until he got blown up (he will not elaborate on what a dog or cat preference has to do with this he just likes bringing it up) he can barley keep his team from being arrested he is not bringing a dog along with him anywhere. He also just…isn’t their biggest fan like he’ll warm up to 1 dog and love em but doesn’t mean he likes all dogs

Tim: dog person. They’re useful, friendly and cute (they can be used to track peoples scents and he’s a professional stalker)

Damian: Damian Georg is an outlier and should not be counted

Steph: Cats because she got bit by a guard dog as a kid and now is a little more weary. Also she likes to have a cat napping on her lap when she does any sort of work bc then she’s stuck there and has to do the work bc she can’t wake up the cat. Also if Steph had a pet it would be a cat who looks eerily similar to her and I will not elaborate (for real this time)

Duke: Dog person, he seems like the type of dude to have 5 identical looking dogs and take them out on walks sequentially so that everyone thinks he’s been walking the same dog for 5 hours. Idk Duke started a cult he likes chaos, cat people don’t put effort into making peoples lives hell bc they don’t put effort into anything (except revenge)

Brought to you by I’m homesick at Uni and I can’t bring my cats and dogs over bc my building doesn’t allow it.

Baby pictures of the now adult cats enjoy

Broke; the robins are better at the skill their predecessor struggle with

Woke: the robins pretend to suck at an unimportant civilian thing their predecessor was good at bc fuck you it’s boring

Dicks one will be Bruce for this thought experiment

Dick dropped out of business school Grayson

Jason can’t do a square root Todd

Tim last time i touched a book it physically burned me like it was garlic and I was a vampire Drake

Stephanie pretends she doesn’t know who the safari thingymagij works Brown

Damian knows slang and refuses to use it around he family give him mid 18th century terminology or give him death Wayne

Broke: everyone fights over whose Batman’s favorite

Woke: everyone fights over whose Dicks favorite bc Dick isn’t an emotionally stunted loser (I shit talk Bruce so much but I love him, he’s just also a loser) and trying to get in the bats favor is like trying to catch sand in a sieve

————

Damian: obviously I’m Graysons favorite I was his Robin

Tim: dude I was the first Robin he trained and we still talk every day I am 100% the favorite

Steph: fuck you! You disappeared off the the face of the earth when he was Batman I was actually here I’m 100% the favorite everyone knows Wing loves me.

Jason: Dick willingly went to Gotham to spend time with me even when he was mad at Bruce. Has Dick ever been in Gotham when he was mad at Bruce for you guys? No? Didn’t think so?

Damian: ….

Steph:…

Tim: that’s because you sucked so much he thought you’d get blown up trying to have to bludhaven.

Jason: oi! Low blow, you can’t use a man’s death against him

Damian: shut up we’ve all died before

Steph: you literally said you were allowed to break Tim’s laptop bc you died b4

Jason: yeah it’s MY DEATH I can use it how I want

Tim: we really gonna call your 14yr old 4’7 self a man?

Cass: he helped me train when B rejected me I’m the favorite

Tim: you can’t be Dicks favorite you’re already Bab’s favorite those are the only 2 likable older members of the family. (They’ve decided Alfred doesn’t count since he’s legally not allowed to have favorites)

Dick: Duke is my favorite

Damian: what?

Tim: how?

Jason: this shit is rigged

Steph: What?? You barely spend time with him?

Duke who has been eating popcorn quietly this whole time:???

Dick: he doesnt steal my suit and murder people

Jason: …

Dick: or tell his friends I threatened to send him to Arkham when I told him to get therapy

Tim:…

Dick: or break into my apartment at 3am because he can’t communicate with his father

Damian:…

Dick: or make me believe he flatlined on the operating table

Steph: …

Dick: or tell me he can’t meet up for a bust because he’s too busy fighting Wonder Woman a hero we work with over text with no context and then go AWOL for 5 days

Cass:…

Dick: or overload his plate with 50 million things I will have to come in and help with

Everyone:

Steph: he started a cult tho??

Dick: was it before or after he was fostered bc if it was before it’s. Not. My. Problem.

Duke: I’m the favorite???

Dick: also I feel like if I died you’re the most likely to take over my duties and not go on a quest for vengeance or try to clone me or put me in the Lazarus pit.

Jason: ID NEVER PUT you in the Lazarus pit…. No comment on the rest tho.

Tim: ditto

Damian: meh you are superior to Todd and he’s relatively functional post the pit I don’t see the issue here.

Steph raising hand: I wouldn’t-

Dick: or help TIM do it

Steph lowering hand:

Dick: plus you have a parent so I don’t have to do 80% of the child rearing while giving Bruce credit

Duke still a little star stuck bc that’s nightwing: IM THE FAVORITE.

Dick Grayson:

*runs the titans*

*works for the league*

*has a day job*

*solo patrols bludhaven*

*solo patrols New York*

*on call 24/7 for regularly scheduled Gotham crisis(es)*

*training at least 40% of new gen heroes at any given moment*

*infiltrating the current annoying cult, corrupt gov, spy organization, company, mafia group, evil underground ancestral foundations of a city and random corrupt modeling industry*

*monitoring drug pedaling in 3 cities*

*emotionally regulating 80% of his family bc why would they do it themselves? Nah let’s just ruin relationships for fun -cough Bruce cough-*

* maintaining civilian cover*

*canonically does volunteer work*

I am beginning to think nightwing doesn’t have anger issues he’s just overstimulated bc wtf

Like Dick take a break what is this?

————

Dick currently working on infiltrating the mob, after 4 days of 6+ hour patrols bc bludhaven has no chill an Arkham breakout, a performance review at work that took too long, organizing a titans outer space mission, just got back from training Jon Kent: no one call me plz god no one call me I can’t do this I have so much work no one. Call me plz

*phone rings* -it’s tim

He could ignore it but last time he left Tim alone for a month the dumbass lost his spleen and decided a cowl was a fashion choice (equally bad in his opinion)

Dick picking up the phone with his non broken arm: yello

Tim: so I accidentally maybe got kidnapped and maybe also started a cult around the concept of Batman and I’m out of energy drinks. (All equally dire in tims opinion)

Dick popping 4 caffeine pills: shut up I’ll be there in 30 don’t DO ANYTHing.

—————

Jason: sooo I might be engaged to an alien princess

Dick about to pop a Xanax: tell me it’s Kori or at least in this galaxy

Jason: nope

Dick: …. Can it wait

Jason: she wants to eat me, their species is like a praying mantis knockoff but with space and mind control.

Dick: yeah okay give me an hour I’ll call raven

————

Damian: hello Richard

Dick: what did you do.

Damian: I have been kidnapped by my mother

Dick: again

Damian: I feel it would be redundant to say anything

Dick: …….. alright I’ll call the nearest flying hero be there in a bit… keep ur spine where it is Damian or I swear to god-

——————

Bruce: cult

Dick who just got done with an undercover mission: anddd?

Bruce: we need someone to infiltrate it

Dick: I swear to god I. will. hurt. you

Bruce: hnnnn

——-

Babs: I have… acquired a child

Dick who is fighting deathstroke : …okayyyy

Babs who is watching the fight: she’s a little bit … traumatized

Dick, dodging a katana: preaching to the choir

Babs: can you do your whole, human empathy and kindness tell me ur life story I have puppy dog eyes.

Dick: ….

Babs: you owe me

Dick: … one day I will delete all your numbers and disappear

Babs cheerfully: you know no matter where you go I can find you hunk wonder see you in 3 hours don’t die before then!

Single parent Dick Grayson on the brain rn

Does anyone have any fics?

I’m not talking about like Dick raising one of the robins im talking about a whole ass child like a baby.

The only canon character I will accept is Mari Grayson but plz

Someone give this man a tiny child.

If any fanfic writers come across this and need convincing I give you.

-Jason comes back from the dead and decides it’s revenge time and it gets ruined bc wtf why does Dick have a 5 year old. Why is the 5 year old adorable? He cannot kill this 5yr olds dad even if he is a dick (lowercase)

- young Tim being an uncle (wtf is he supposed to do here??) and calling Steph bc she knows things and him getting yelled at bc “oh bc I’m a girl ik how to child rear?? Fuck you” this is not why he called her but now he’s too scared to try and clarify.

-Lian and Baby Grayson play dates

-23 yr old Dick has a Baby, he got adopted at 22. Baby is legally Bruce’s grandchild. Bruce is a grandpa at 38 wtf is he supposed to do here. He’s being broody his son is dead! He can’t care about a chil- awwww look they’re smiling at me hiii baby

-Damian and baby Grayson fighting during Bruce time stream vacation. Baby Grayson “well I’m the blood child so there!” Cue Damian violently screaming.

-titans baby sitting shenanigans

-each person who interacts with baby Grayson decides to buy the child their hero merch. This is competition. Dick has about 5 closets worth of baby sized hero merch he doesn’t do laundry for 3 months..

Baby Grayson being a freakishly good acrobat like their dad and scaring everyone (why is the 4 yr old doing a backflip) Batman finally feels vindicated bc everyone knows how hard it was to keep Dick on the ground and not a chandelier now.

Plz send links if anyone has anything like this or writes something I require content and it’s midterms

Stephanie brown 🤝 Dick Grayson

Being the only likable bats

See one of my favorite things about fanon is that Dick is like a normal dude outside of nightwing like genuinely he’s normal person who isn’t that extreme canonically. He loves his family but he needs space with them and doesn’t want to be a carbon copy of his father.

He follows Bruce is moral compass while also being more lenient on some crimes. He canonically values life and protecting the sanctity over it than actually stopping crime and has a very strong moral compass that exceeds “well it’s the law”. Dick canonically thinks that Corrupt police officials are worse than criminals and became a cop to weed them out the same way he did the mob. And has bad blood with the BPD despite working for them.

He has genuine reservations about trusting Jason for obvious reasons even if you don’t like Dicks run as Batman where Jason was flat out the worst or like stealing the Nightwing suit in New York in brothers and blood. While still being able to work with and like him.

He is supportive of Tim while still being frustrated at taking on more work bc he knows Tim does too much and will need help.

He loves Damian but steps away from that relationship because unlike Bruce at his age he’s emotionally mature enough to realize he cannot be a parent for the kid. A role model sure! A big sibling, yeah. But not a parent.

He didn’t want Steph as spoiler, Robin or batgirl bc she wasn’t well trained but neither did literally anyone else. Once she and him started working together they had a decent relationship.

Dick and Cass have a strong relationship and he helped Babs with her when Bruce was being an asshole while still not stepping into a parent role bc he’s in his mid 20s and not going to do that actually.

And Dick believes Duke is going to become a big leader in the hero world and sees his potential despite not agreeing with the we are Robin thing.

And the fanon goes 1 of 3 ways

he’s fully uninvolved, doesn’t like the bats, has cut them off after trying to send Tim to Arkham, and abusing/ mistreating or co-signing the mistreatment of Jason. All his relationships with everyone except Damian have been erased. He ruined Tim’s trust, hated young!jason, has never spoken to Steph or duke and Cass doesn’t like him because she’s on babs side or in Hong Kong.

Or

Literally Bruce Wayne’s lapdog, says yes to everything with the worst case of battered women’s syndrome you’ve ever seen. Jason must stand up for him and protect him from the big bad bat/ the bats cut him off aswell after abandoning the bat movement (more rare but I’ve seen it). He doesn’t have critical thinking and his morals are identical to Batman’s and he refuses to question them. Will call the police on a homeless man stealing food bc it’s illegal. And has never tried to rehabilitate anyone including his friends, abandoned Roy and Kory bc of moral differences. He’s still a cop and doesn’t understand the nuance that Jason, Tim, Steph and Duke do.

Or

Dumb himbo, doesn’t know nothing except smile and nod. Pretty face, no brain. Has had one thought and it’s the fact he misses his siblings and needs his cereal oh wait was that two thoughts? He forgot how to count lmao. Babs or Tim will roll their eyes and do stuff for him bc he’s so dumb and sweet like a puppy who has had a lobotomy. :( doesn’t even have a college degree dumb silly teehee. Worst liar you’ve ever met everyone can see right through him hehe. He’s loves Bruce and calls him Dad 24/7 and uses nicknames for everyone.

And like it’s total flanderization

He has some of these traits sure, (more rigid moral compass, more willing to work with other heroes and delegate though this one literally only became a thing during Tom kings run and maybe a little bit after Donna died, in the current canon he went to Uni for business and dropped out, he’s not as good on the tech side as oracle)

But they’re just so exaggerated and I firmly believe it’s bc the rest of the bats are so extra. Like Tim trying to clone his dead bestie 99 times.

Jason goodness gracious I’ve been bamboozled let me try and kill the penguin on live tv

Damian my mother literally tore my spine out

. Duke let’s start a cult that’s something that isn’t dumb and won’t get us murdered.

And Dick is just there like… yeah fuck okay.

Like he’s still unhinged even for a superhero but he’s just objectively more hinged than all of his siblings like you’re telling me if TIM got the talon ancestry storyline shit wouldn’t have hit the fan??? The mother fucker who at age like 13 broke in Nightwing and starfire’s house, memorized all their schedules bc he’s the most insane stalker you’ve ever met. You’re lying and we both know it.

And everyone thinks their fave is the sane won and you are all just wrong I fear. I have already slandered Tim so I’ll do the rest for funsies

“Oh babs is the only sane one”

Bby Barbara is such a stalker with a need for control someone stole her tech and turned Gotham into a police state. If she decided that she wanted to go dictator she has a WHOLE setup for it. She’s also unhinged

“Jason just needs to get away from the bats then he’s the only sane one who the others go to for protection”

Yall Jason’s 2 biggest teams were

An Amazon, and a kryptonian

An arrow and an alien (also some times an Amazon)

So the league big three knock off and a titans knock off

He has also slept with his dad’s ex and 2 of his brother’s exes. Let’s not pretend that he’s being dragged back into the bat family, bro never left.

He wears a bat on his chest

He has a helmet with explosives in it… when he died in an explosion and fought with a crowbar when it was one of the major reasons he died. Let’s not talk about his whole thing with scarlet but the Morrison run had some weird characterization.

“Damian-“ no actually you can’t even start with Mr let’s go to Lazarus island. Let me adopt a giant bat monster bc my abusive childhood means I slaughtered his entire race. No actually I will not allow it. The fucker is unhinged and I love him.

“Steph” - you know what she is also my fave so everything she has ever done is justified and she has the best batgirl run and also her and Damian are hilarious. (She’s also the best female bat hands down I prefer her to both Cass and Babs for so many reasons I will not get into)

In summary this isn’t actually a criticism I find it hilarious plz keep going my darling fanon fanfic writers