Distrust - Blog Posts

i-would-like-to-leave

1 month ago

Whumpril Day 6 - Distrust

On ao3

They were three years into the apocalypse. Through highs and lows, the Zarathustra had perfectly performed in all Scenarios, guided by their prophet who had experienced it all before.

Selena knew how hard it was on Anna. She knew how the prophet woke in the night, panicking that the regressor was going to kill her, was going to get his revenge. She knew how this led her to plan and plan and plan to get through this hellscape, trying to get a few steps ahead of the Demon King of Salvation’s plots.

She knew a lot of things about her leader, and would always place her trust in her closed off arms. That’s why she didn’t anticipate this.

She knew Anna refused to trust most, did it because she thought no one would put their faith in her if she revealed her hidden parts. Contrary to this, however, was the fact that Selena had seen these parts.

She was an animal lover, the kings guardian, and who was she to refuse to keep her king’s vulnerabilities safe. She would comfort her when she cried, listen to her ravings as she planned, giver her elixirs when she was injured.

Anna reciprocated. For every time she was comforted, she returned the same care when Selena was set adrift by the blood she had spilled. For every time she spoke to Selena of her plans, she didn’t leave out any necessary parts i̶g̶n̶o̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶i̶s̶a̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶G̶o̶u̶r̶m̶e̶t̶ A̶s̶s̶o̶c̶i̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶b̶a̶n̶q̶u̶e̶t̶. For every elixir Anna drank, she gave back in her blood, now filled with the intoxicating powers from the healing and mana potions.

Tensions only clashed once, and for good reason. Anna, in the act of trying to get Iris a sponsor, had almost killed her. The girl only survived because of Kim Dokja’s interference. A debt they would never be able to pay, Anna said.

Selena understood that Anna was only working to what she assumed to be best, but the concern she felt watching that screen, watching as Iris was stalked down like prey by that Demon King, the one that caused a fair few of Anna’s nightmares, the one that killed the regressor last time.

She understood, but she could not accept. Why was there such a need to put a child at risk? Yes, a sponsor would be helpful, but was Anna’s intentions not to kill all the constellations in the end anyway?

They had talked, throughout the time together. All three of them. In a brief respite from the Starstream’s pervasive view, she had set out all of her goals, her reasons, and how she would achieve what she sought out to do. The Great Demon’s Eye was spinning with a vigour not unlike live wires, processing everything and taking even more information in.

The waters settled, and that was how Selena found herself in the place she was now. The 46th Scenario. This was where Anna had forever tarnished her relationship with Yoo Junghyeok. This was where Selena would face the same thing.

As soon as she had gathered her baring, she saw her leader reaching for the star, having not wasted a moment. Her hand closed around it, simultaneously declaring that she wished for control over Selena Kim’s Life and Death.

Selena didn’t fight it. Did her leader not realise that she would always follow. Did her leader not realise how unending her devotion was, only shaken temporarily and only shaken once.

She sank to her knees, exiting the room and waiting until the rest of the Zarathustra arrived. Anna was anxious, but desperately hiding it behind an uncaring facade. There was a reason the woman was so good at poker.

This woman. She had fallen for the most stubborn and strong willed person she possibly could. Maybe she would end freedom from her bindings, those Incarnations from the Korean Scenarios would never let it stand, but before then, she would relax into the comforting knowledge that though her leader didn’t trust her, she still wanted to hold her close.