Dwalin - Blog Posts

IM SORRY BUT WE WONT SURVIVE ON THE FOOD IN MIDDLE EARTH

Alright so, after looking at the food in Middle earth it does look amazing BUT I WONT BE ABLE TO EAT MY NOODLES OR RICE!! Like I love my po-tat-oes but I can only eat so many until I have had my fill for the week. And let me not even get started on seasoning, Middle earth is based on Europe with a lot of similarities and differences but one small problem with this..... we got OUR SPICES from ancient Egyptian, Chinese, and Indian cultures so what do you my dear readers think the food in Middle earth tastes like? Pepper is going to become hot and salt the new sweet BECAUSE SUGAR IS ALSO FROM ASIA....

But just imagen coming from our world tasting a dish from Lord Elrond or someone else that is an important person and smack talk them for calling pepper spicy. You are going to be standing there and ask if you can make something for yourself cus this shit was so bland and boring. (Spoiler you are going to invent spices right then and there and become super rich and famous, Smaug can go and cry in a corner cus u wont be needing his treasure)

OK BUT A MODERN FASHION GIRLY IN MIDDLE EARTH

Just imagen you packing for a trip or smt with all ur makeup, clothes and accessories then you all of a sudden when u just closed the bag u end up falling down in the middle of the road in front of either Thorin's company or the fellowship. They end up taking you with them cus somehow everyone is a gentleman and when its time to either celebrate or eat somewhere nice (Rivendell or Rohan for example) you wip out you makeup bag and the nicest/most flattering clothing pice you can find. THE WAY THEIR JAWS DROP WHEN THEY SEE YOU WHEN YOU "TRY" TO LOOK GOOD- BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS, WONDERFUL,AMAZING, STUNNING!!!!

EVERYONE WONDERS AND YOU END UP TELLING THEM EVERYTHING FROM WHERE TO APPLY CONCEALER, BEST BLUSH PLACEMENT, HOW COLOR THEORY ALSO APPLY DO DRESSING YOURSELF, WHAT LOOKS BEST ON WHAT BODY TYPE AND ALL THE DIFFIRENT AESTHETICS :D

The hobbit fandom is so beautiful:

Oh this character has a physical disability, lets come up with 50 ways that their community will rally around them in a series universe accurate care methods to make their life easier.

Oh this character has brain damage of a learning disability? They are treated with the same level of respect and understanding as everyone else and what ever they are able to contribute from creating things to simply being present with their friends and family is enough

Oh this character is gender queer? Screw it let’s take the entire fandom and just remove gender constructs as we know them from several races. Making any sexism or homophobia seem as truly strange and off putting as it is not normal in these societies.

The hobbit fandom is based as fuck

I’m supposed to me doing my school work but I really wanted to join in the fun.

They've made a dwarf out of him! What would his papa say?

Can you tell Dwalin was waiting for this moment?

Inspired by my own work related meeting last week. (You laugh at Dwalin's hands and I swear to Mahal I'll cry)

Fallen in the River

Word Count: 1,101

AN: This is the first story I’ve ever posted for others to read, so if anyone reads it please give me some feedback. Good and bad, I would like to get a get some opinions on my current writing skills. And if there is demand for a part two I would like to know. Enjoy the story.

Pairing: Company x GN Reader (platonic)

Summary: (y/n), a human from another world, finds themself within the famous children's story The Hobbit becoming a member of the Company of Thorin Oakensheild. One night after a long ride the Company set up camp in a cave to shield themselves from the never ending rain. (y/n) follows after the two princes and the hobbit to speak with them when they are all given a good scare.

Warnings: Injured reader

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Honestly, (y/n) wasn't sure how exactly they ended up in their current predicament. Sitting on the bank of an angry river in the middle of nowhere, during a harsh downpour. They sat in the mud, completely soaked and shivering; they hugged themself close, and hissed when they felt the growing burning pain in their forearms. While they were still in the water the current brought a dead log right into their path. In order to keep themself conscious, they had to bring their arms up above their head to take the brunt of the hit before they went under. Their right foot was missing it’s boot, which made them considerably colder than they already were. Plus, they were crestfallen over the loss of such loved footwear. (y/n) really loved those boots.

After sitting there for an unknown amount of time, (y/n) hauled themself up and began limping back towards the camp. They didn't give any thought to an explanation to give the company upon her return; Their mind was too scattered. (y/n) couldn't think straight as they tried to recall what had happened. When they fell into the river, the ground had crumbled beneath their feet, and they tumbled into their near-watery demise. Fili and Kili had been there, along with Bilbo, who had let out quite a scream at their fall. They must be worried sick. (y/n) found themself becoming increasingly more exhausted the longer they walked. How far had the river carried them? Soon their thoughts weren’t more than just incoherent blurs in their head.

When they arrived at the mouth of the cave, their teeth chattered loudly, and they rubbed their hands up and down the sides of their arms. When (y/n) came into view, several figures stood and quickly came to their aid, not that they were really willing to accept it. They brushed past them, heading straight for their bag on a mission to get out of their wet clothes and into relatively dry ones. They didn't even notice that several members of the company were missing. Pulling out a set of new clothes, someone approached them and placed a warm hand on their shoulder.

“(Lass/Lad), you alright?” It was Bofur, his voice was soft and full of concern.

“Tell everyone to turn around.” They avoided his question. ‘Please.”

“What?”

“Tell everyone to turn around. I’m gonna change.” They didn't even give him time before they started pulling their shirt off over their head.

Bofur sputtered and spun on his heel with his hands slapped over his eyes. The others soon followed, and (y/n) heard several surprised mutters in Khuzdul, but paid them no mind. They continued on, their pants following their shirt to the ground; they stripped down to nothing. The chill air blew over their naked skin, making a violent shiver run down their spine, and they quickly pulled on the second set of clothes. After they were fully clothed they walked past a few turned heads and sat themself as close to the fire as they could with her blanket slung over their shoulders.

“You can open your eyes now.” (y/n) teased.

“(Lass/Lad),” This time it was Balin who addressed them, and they hummed in response as they warmed her hands over the fire. “Are you alright?”

(y/n) was quick to answer, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m good.”

“Are you sure? How about you let Oin l give you a good once over?” His voice was firm.

“Bilbo came running in nearly twenty minutes ago, screaming about how you’d fallen in the river.” Dwalin spoke up to reinforce his brother's suggestion. “Thorin and them are still out there look’n for ya.”

After he mentioned it (y/n) looked around and noticed that he was right. Thorin, Fili, Kili, and Bilbo were all missing from the cave. They chewed on their lip unconsciously, thinking about how worried they must be, how worried they all had been before their unforeseen reappearance. Where were they now? How far had they gone? They thought about getting up to go get them themself but ultimately decided against it due to their freezing and battered state. (y/n) pursed their lips then looked up to Dwalin.

“Shouldn't someone go find them? It’s still raining.”

“Aye, I’ll go tell them your back alive.” And with that Dwalin nodded towards Balin, and made his way out of the mouth of the cave.

(y/n) watched him leave when another violent shiver racked their body. A large warm hand placed itself gently onto their cheek almost making them sigh, but they didn't resist slightly leaning into the touch. Bifur had moved to their side with a very concerned crease in his brow. He spoke something to Balin and removed his hand - much to their dislike - to make a few hand signals. The older dwarf nodded and took a few steps closer.

“I do believe it would be in your best interest to allow Oin to look you over, Bifur says your freezing.” He paused, thinking, “You took a hard fall, (lass/lad). It also wouldn't be wrong to assume you may be injured.”

“I guess there's no harm in it.” (y/n) gave in.

Balin waved Oin, who grabbed his medical bag, grunting as he pulled himself to his feet. (y/n) had to turn their back to the fire to face Oin as he sat before them, feeling their skin with his bare hand. They showed him their arms to which he shook his head and muttered something under his breath, before bandaging them up. The bandages went from just below their elbow to just before their wrists. It felt odd to have their arms wrapped up the way they were but never once did they say anything opting to allow Oin to do his thing.

 At one point their foot was in his grasp where he found a gash about four or five inches long on the back of their calf where a rock had caught their leg and stolen their boot. It was slightly deep so he had to stitch it close before wrapping a bandage around it too.

By the time he finished, Dwalin returned with the last members of the company hot on his heels.

I hate when I’m trying to write my fics in peace but suddenly I’m hit with a ship that would make more sense but this current ship is so embedded in my fic that I can’t change it even if I wanted to 😫