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Fo4 - Blog Posts
slammed this out in 2 hours. I LOVE THEM !!! also, peep my space core human design. Curie x Space Core ftw !!!!
There's a vague, barely there story/au/ crossover thing that brought this to life, sorta like "Rise Of The Brave Tangled Dragons". Maybe if I flesh it out, I'll post about it one day...
Interpretation is entirely personable and I do not mean to argue against your own opinions and views but. Personally cannot see DiMA as some manipulative monster. This is just me ranting cause he’s one of the best written fallout 4 characters imo. Obviously spoilers ahead :3
For one— he doesn’t maliciously manipulate Kasumi. From the sounds of it, he just asks her questions that lead her to believing she’s a synth. She was isolated, and felt that she stood out even in her own family. She wanted a reason to leave, to think that she was connected to machinery more than it being a personal comfort. Acadia is a refuge for synths. It makes no sense for DiMA to lure normal people there?
For two— of course he acts like the institute! His whole existence is to form a personality around experience. He grew up in the institute, taking in their methods and morals. The only expressed reason he grew disillusioned to them is because Nick suffered. But that’s still all his first experiences. The institute, and people hurting synths.
For three— I don’t think it’s ever explicitly said what far harbor was like before the sole survivor gets there/before synth Avery. Maybe they were hostile towards synths, or Acadia. At the very least, they’re still hostile towards the children of atom, a group who 1. Before Tektus we’re (if I’m not mistaken) relatively peaceful, and 2. Did not react negatively or with hostility towards Synths. This is a simple baseline, but remember. DiMA went from only knowing people who hurt synths for their own gain to sitting alone in a cave for a year, to people who didn’t want to hurt him. The safety of synths is his first priority. Replacing Avery is extremely fucked, yes, it’s exactly what the institute does. Because that’s the first things DiMA knows. If far harbor was aggressive against Acadia, what should DiMA have done? Probably definitely not murdered a woman and replaced her, but from his perspective, that was probably the least damaging option, rather than letting his synths die, or killing the harbormen. He removed the memories likely because that’s how the institute functions! He was acting like them! The people who hurt the person he considered family!
Four— I didn’t actually choose/explore the routes where you’re with the institute or the brotherhood of steel, so. Can’t really say for certain my thoughts on his reactions, but. I think it would make most sense for him to act peacefully if you say that before giving him the tapes, because he wouldn’t have an idea of how he’d reacted previously. He wouldn’t know he had the experience of combatting groups who’d want Acadia exterminated, he doesn’t know the extent he’d go to preemptively keep Acadia safe.
Five— with the replacing tektus plan, it goes back to perhaps WHY he removed the memory of replacing avery. That’s what the institute does. If he remembers that experience of doing the same thing as his creators, maybe he’d integrate that into his personality. I don’t know if it’s fleshed out HOW DiMA’s mind works, if it’s like an actual person who can pick and choose what they learn from, or if it’s all turned into gained knowledge, or if I’m a dummy who needs to brush up on lore (good time to say that most of my interpretations came from my play through of far habit which I didn’t know existed until I accidentally started it, so. If anything I say or think is in contradiction to another route or such. Blame the naivety). But after he has that tape, he knows this is 1. Something that worked and 2. Something he’s willing to do with all the same reasoning as before. So he does it again.
Over all. I think if DiMA is hypocritical it works. He’s a machine over a hundred years old. That’s a lot of experience for a mfer who’s mind is supposed to develop and base itself on experience! His mind likely grows and changes rapidly based on events that happen to him. I can’t imagine he’s hypocritical without being written that way. Everything bad he does is for Acadia. I cannot interpret him as some malicious leader who wants to wipe out the other factions. Just someone who’s learned that sometimes the ends justify the means.
Anyways sorry autism rant OVER
Fo4 Far Harbor DLC spoilers
Replaying Far Harbor and watching vids abt the different lore it’s impossible to see DiMA as anything but an evil, hypocritical, and downright stupid monster. I don’t get how so many people love him.
He’s a murderer who had plans to obliterate an entire people and who did murder and replace an innocent woman. When you confront him about those memories that he purposefully removed bc he couldn’t live with how evil he is he’s like “I can’t believe I did that :’( we should totally do it again tho that’s a really good idea.” And then you can!!! It’s literally the exact same horrible things that the Institute does! He manipulates Kasumi (who we can determine by talking to the Institute, the people she knows, and by killing her in an Institute quest is not a synth) into believing she is a synth and lures her to the island with this manipulation!! He manipulates many others like this too to get his evil desires done in pretty obvious ways. I would count many of his synths, Nick, and the player among his targets.
If you’re sided with the Institute and you tell him and his synths to come back to it he says no but that he will not run and will not attack you. He condemns all of the synths in his “sanctuary” by taking not action and allowing you to go report back their existence to the Institute so that coursers can come reclaim or kill everyone there!! Same thing happens if you tell him you’re with the Brotherhood and synths existence is an affront to humanity he’s like “okay but we’re not gonna leave still” and then you can bring the Brotherhood forces to murder them all.
If you blow up some of the factions on the island he’ll be like “You’ve only brought death here >:( I hope you can live with yourself you monster!” Like that wasn’t his WHOLE ASS PLAN that he removed his memories of bc he couldn’t live with himself!!! Fucking hypocrite!!! This is only a few of his crimes. He is so evil and stupid it hurts.
I drew my man John Hancock
Fallout 4: Where is the Lone Wanderer?*
*a vague conspiracy theory which doesn’t actually answer the question at hand. We all have our own ideas of how the lore should go, and I’m sure yours is very canon-compliant and valid, but this is mine and I have support for it. Looooongpost.
First off: What do we know about the canon Wanderer?
We know they activated Project Purity (or had a companion do it) without the FEV and were inducted into the Brotherhood. We know they’ve met with MacCready (you can’t finish the game if you don’t), and he has dialogue indicating they had further contact. They also took the Brotherhood’s side at Adams Air Force Base.
We don’t know what happened with The Replicated Man, but since the canon Wanderer appears to have good karma, and info from 4 implies Zimmer’s disappearance was more recent than ten years ago, it seems likely they took the boring ending, which secures their membership in the Railroad.
Why aren’t they in Fallout 4?
The Doylist answer is that they’re highly customizable, and so they have no canon appearance, personality, gender, etc. But in-universe? Something happened.
“Accepting outsiders like yourself has proven disastrous in the past.” - Kells
“I've seen other soldiers come and go. Some were brave, some were honest... hell, some were even downright heroic.” - Danse
“Every doctor I've talked to was worthless. [] I don't need them... I need someone like you.” - MacCready
When Duncan first got sick, “someone like you” would have meant the Wanderer. This suggests (to me) that they’re not in the Capital Wasteland anymore. But they’re certainly not in the Commonwealth either.
The weird thing is that the Lone Wanderer is all over this game - they’re the namesake for a male hairstyle, a perk, a DCR song, a motorcycle brand… and the codename of Deacon’s mission to save the Railroad from certain destruction by recruiting the Sole Survivor.
Someday We’ll Find It, the Deacon Connection
Oh yeah, I’m going here. Desdemona’s terminal entries confirm it was always Deacon’s plan to get you onboard and use you to destroy the Institute. There are Railroad lookout posts near 111/Sanctuary and Red Rocket, and of course he followed you in Goodneighbor, Diamond City, and Bunker Hill (at least). His court jester vibe hides it a bit, but he’s manipulating you more than he’s manipulating Desdemona in the intro scene. And do you notice he rarely gives you a firm verbal disapproval unless you’re hurting the Railroad?
What could have caused Deacon’s interest in you, unless he’s made the connection between you and the Lone Wanderer? He’ll vouch for you if you haven’t accomplished anything yet, or even if you’re a Brotherhood member. A Pip-Boyed stranger emerges from a vault in the middle of a crisis, gaining friends, skills, items, and special abilities at a suspicious rate? Probably with the same gender and playstyle as the previous one? Heck, when he first heard the rumors, he probably thought you WERE the Lone Wanderer.
There are other indications the Railroad has been in contact with them — Desdemona mentions the Capital Wasteland as their primary destination for synths, and Deacon references Harkness’s recall code. If you refuse to pick a codename, Desdemona even assigns you “Wanderer.”
So what happened, then?
I think the answer lies with the Brotherhood, specifically in Deacon’s hatred of them. Sure, ideology is enough to hate them for, but Deacon sure seems suspiciously happy if you nuke their base of operations. (Some of) his comments on that:
“The Brotherhood... well, I met them on an op in Capital Wasteland a few years back. But now with Elder Maxson... Let's just say, not a fan.”
“That bastard Maxson really screwed them up. The Brotherhood used to be the good guys. Well, goodish.”
[Who’s Elder Maxson?] “He’s a piece of work, is what he is.”
And on his time in the Capital:
“Did I ever tell you about the time I was in Capital Wasteland? Now there's a tale.”
“Capital Wasteland. Exports: purified water, some decent tech, oh, and an insane suicidal cult that worships radiation. Thanks, guys.”
“I miss Capital Wasteland. You can actually drink the water there.”
And a few lines I’ve decided (with no evidence) directly refer to LW:
“Last partner I had wound up going... well, a little insane. I think it was all my show tune medleys.”
[After Maxson orders you to hunt Danse down] “See? This is what the Brotherhood's really about.”
And my favorite: “I’ve been looking forward to kicking the Brotherhood’s teeth in. I owe them.” This line comes before Glory is killed, so he’s not referring to that. The Brotherhood only recently arrived in force in the Commonwealth. He’s talking about something that happened in the Capital Wasteland.
So Here’s What Might Have Happened:
In early 2286, Deacon moves to the Capitol Wasteland for awhile, probably to get a face change and lay low for a bit. He contacts the Lone Wanderer, who has barely heard from the Railroad in nine years. They begin to work together.
(In context, this journal entry looks like he’s somehow gathering intel to predict when Vault 111 will open, but I can’t think of a way for him to get that information or know why it’s important, so I’m not going to believe it just yet.)
The Wanderer is still a knight, maybe a paladin. Maxson has been elder for 2-3 years and is monitoring the Institute. Meanwhile, the Lone Wanderer and Deacon are setting up infrastructure to receive escaped synths.
And then the Brotherhood finds out about one of the safehouses. With their limited understanding, they believe that the Institute is holed up there and attack. The Wanderer intentionally throws the mission — maybe disobeys orders, maybe downs a vertibird or collapses a subway tunnel, or maybe even attacks their brothers to protect the synths.
And, well-
Either they were killed, or they escaped court martial and execution by a hair’s breadth and fled the Capital, leaving Deacon to believe Maxson had them killed.
There you have it. That’s why they aren’t in Brotherhood dialogue or records. Their accomplishments couldn’t be recognized because they’re a traitor. And that’s why it’s personal for Deacon.
I bought Fallout 4 the other day, been playing non-stop, decided to draw my favourite companion from the game
Deacon head canons from my old blog be upon ye!
The UP Deathclaws were never real...the L&L gang is though
“He’s sharp as a whip, feisty in the field and extraordinarily cautious with his actions and even more careful with his words”
Deacon’s favorite color is green, hazel green
If he had a character theme it would be Deacon Waltz by Christian Sedelmyer and Jerry Douglas (The name’s just a coincidence)
A very very light sleeper, before Wanderer he would only sleep for around 3 hours peppered throughout the day
It always takes him an hour to fall asleep, even after he & Wanderer start ‘their you sleep and I’ll watch over you’ deal
He’s not religious, but he still prays
Before Wanderer he’d have, what my old therapist calls, micro-bursts of stage three sleep without realizing it (REM sleep) people can do this while looking and cting completely awake, which is why Carrington doesn’t take him serious in meetings... he looked like he’s not paying attention but nada, the man’s brain was just shutting down a little bit
Because of the lack of sleep he got for so long, Deacon disassociates between himself & his body constantly. At times careless with himself...cracking jokes & laughing in dangerous situations... his brain was teetering the line between being asleep and awake so often he couldn’t tell the difference. (sleep deprivation makes you feel unstoppable...cocky even)
Another thing he lost as a result of Wanderer was being able to sleep standing up, because his body doesn’t need to take over for his mind anymore
Smells faintly of cigarette smoke (mainly because of Dez) and basil and something else that can’t really be placed
He fell in love with a school teacher once, she was the one that taught him how to read
Can write/read French but oh god pronounces every letter like how they sound in English... so he sticks to writing messages to himself that most people think are ramblings of a child when/if found
October is his favorite month... June makes him ache
If he’s not at Wanderer’s side or on his own op, he’ll be at the Church... but after Tea Party? He settles on the couch in Wanderer and Shaun’s home until she convinces him to just move in, they’ve slept in the same room for so long at this point but he can’t fathom having a home again. It’s a hard adjustment
If you look of the definition of a ginger you’d find a picture of him at age 14, the freckles keep coming back no matter how many times he gets them removed
You know how you can catch him spying on you in the settlements? Yeah, he wanted you to see him... but not near 111 or a few other places
He’s the person in the Third Rail that points Wanderer to MacCready before they meet, he can’t have her traveling alone like that when she still so green to the world
In codes, D is for Desdemona and d is for Deacon
If not written, agents that are high enough to know their names say Big D and Little D (Dez hates it but he thinks it’s cute, if not clever)
He tenses ever so slightly when he hears the name John/Johnathan
Holds tension in his jaw like no one else, it’s a wonder his teeth haven’t shattered
Hates the taste of coffee but constantly drinks it
Was a hell of a swing dancer in his youth, now he likes slow dancing though that wasn’t discovered until Wanderer showed up
He’s 37 at the youngest and 45 at the oldest
When he left the gang at 19, they shattered every bone in his left hand & wrist, it aches when it rains
Hides his eyes because they were her favorite part of him, the one thing he can’t change ironically, also the sleep thing. He can’t let people know how tired he is all the time
He was born in Rivet City and his mother was a hairdresser, father a drunkard of a city security officer
His ma taught him how to French braid hair
His last name is Deacon. Baby Shaun is the only one who knows that though... Shaun said “Hey Mr. Deacon” & he said “Hey Mr. Hale” (Wanderer’s last name) & Shaun being the clever kiddo he is, cocked his head to the side connecting some dots cause if his first name was Deacon why would he respond with Shaun’s last one?)
Absolutely fascinated with the old world, collects information and fun facts about that time forgotten which Wanderer feeds into
His favorite thing Wanderer tells him about/teaches him is the proper pronunciation of some words and how to spell others
The man has always had a temper, got it from his dad, he works very hard to keep it under control (I can think of a few pieces of dialogue where he’s talking through gritted teeth, anger threatening to boil over)
At first, he was only by Wanderer’s side so nobody could pull her away from the Railroad - he knows what a game changer she is... but they work so well together and she plays along with his tall tales so often that after a while he forgot about the first part
A terrifyingly good shot, better than MacCready and he’s doing it with sunglasses on
He 100% is John D, the terminal entry where Pinky(?) says a runner was the sole survivor and then immediately tried to get people to go back for documents?? A classic Deacon move
Only smokes in HQ (I’ve actually only seen his idle animation of that in the church and at Mercer) unless he’s in a role or somewhere where Wanderer is comfortable... or is extremely stressed out
He hates Hancock, well not hate- but he’s not on the Christmas card list
Deacon knew Shaun was taken 60 years before Wanderer woke up. He knew and he didn’t tell her and it is the secret he hopes she never finds out
Dee’s gotta special soft spot for Tinker Tom, loves him like a crazy brother
His sniper rifle is named Church Bell, lovingly crafted by Tinker
Not sure how he feels about gen 1’s and 2’s, especially after knowing Nicky V but... if he’s gotta do it
Exclusively refers to Nick Valentine as Nicky V
He knows Preston Garvey has a fat ass crush on Wanderer but has neglected to tell her this little fun fact
Tries to shave his head nearly every morning, when he’s with Wanderer he does so when it’s his turn on watch and she’s asleep
The Railroad is his family, they mean so much but of course he’s always kept everyone distant after what happened with Agamemnon
Deacon has been with the railroad between 14 and 20 years
He genuinely doesn’t like Carrington but he’s not going to avoid going to him if he’s hurt of course
His hands are always warm, which is great cause Wand’s are always cold (being frozen for 210 years will do that to a gal)
Do I need to go into the heights thing??? He hates tagging along to set up MILAs but he’ll be damned if he lets his best friend fall off a roof again
He picked the name; Wanderer (don’t get me started on Project Wanderer and Dez’s “it seems fitting” I’ll rant for so long guys)
Doesn’t like sweet foods but fancy lads is a whole other topic
Open spaces stress him out, too much he can’t see
Non-binary but uses he/him pronouns
Doesn’t drink more than a beer or two, but has an unsettling high tolerance
He won’t ever instigate a relationship beyond what he and Wanderer have, as his va Ryan Alosio put it in an interview, his heart’s been absolutely shattered and he can’t stand the thought of being the cause of someone he loves getting hurt because of him again. He loves her but he can’t
Before he got surgery for the first time, he looked like Ryan (the devs actually tweaked his design to resemble him) his original face looks close to what he has now, not that he remembers what that face looked like
Okay but we know Sturges went poking around in that data from the network scanner holotape, right? How else would he have found a back door into the Institute?
Do you think he found the list of missing synths, too?
And do you think he got a little too curious about one of them, and opened the file?
And do you think… he perhaps had an identity crisis?
If you use console commands to kill him, he drops a synth component. In Fallout Shelter Online, which is beta-level canon but still relevant to me, he has the Synth trait and is listed as a Gen 3 that does not know his origins… Like Danse before Blind Betrayal.
His old man taught him everything he knows…but he never had an old man. If his whole life is a lie… What now?
so, i just hit max approval with deacon again, and maybe it’s just because i know more about deacon and that i’ve explored the world more now, but i think i might actually believe the story less.
(spoilers below, obviously!)
the first time i did it, i only went through one tree of the conversation – i was hesitant to believe him, and ultimately told him it was a lot to process. i didn’t ultimately support him and deacon took that fine.
the other dialogue branches are interesting, especially if you insist it’s a lie throughout and ultimately condemn him. you still get the perk, the relationship still maxes out, but man, deacon shows way more emotion when you condemn him than perhaps you ever hear him otherwise. (i also strongly agree with the analysis here.)
particularly worth mentioning is this:
SS: The Railroad let you in? Even though you were in the Deathclaws?
Deacon: So many years had passed I don’t think anyone, well except for the Claws, knew that. All they knew is someone fought back.
there are a lot of things about deacon’s past that are … well, murky at best. could he have been involved with a violent gang at university point? i keep going back and forth on this, and it’s all because of the huge unmarked quest at university point.
the unmarked quest takes place entirely through terminal entries and recordings, and is dated 2285 – which, according to pam’s terminal is long after deacon was part of the railroad (at least 2273, but i believe he’s johnny d, so that’d be 2266). when you take him to UP, he mentions offhandedly that mass state used to be a big player in the commonwealth, but that that was a long time ago, and the way he says it implies personal knowledge. paranoia against synths has reached a fever pitch in 2287, when the game takes place, but how bad was it in those days? we don’t know.
(in the unmarked quest, it seems that UP has a decently sized community, enough to have a mayor and council meetings, but since it’s all after the fact we can only guess at how large the settlement actually was. there are ruins, though. side note: highly recommend the quest, it’s one of the best parts of the game.)
so– yeah, there are hints that his story is true. and yet… and yet…
i dunno. the thing about deacon is that it’s so easy to go back and forth with him. you can read his story as an allegory, a story he’s telling for a purpose. or, you can take it at face value, and accept that for the first time in what is probably a very long time, deacon is opening up and letting someone else see his past.
i suppose what i get stuck on is the why. why you? why should he finally tell this truth to the sole survivor, if he hasn’t told anyone else? (the answer tends to be “because you’re the player character,” and that’s not an answer that sits well with me. i suppose that’s part of why it keeps making me lean away from it.)
but then, that’s the problem when you establish a character as a liar. how can you tell when they’re crying wolf?
We need to talk about Deacon
We need to talk more about the Railroad in general, but I’m going to focus on Deacon here. First, some Railroad background:
So, P.A.M’s terminal has entries from the last three Railroad leaders, including Desdemona, that briefly document the challenges and changes the organisation has been through over the last two decades. This includes the creation and implementation of the dead drop system that is in use currently, the Institute destroying their previous Headquarters (three times!), and the discovery that synths were suddenly being programmed to head towards Diamond City and the subsequent discovery of PATRIOT.
-The first entry is from the new leader, Wyatt, in 2266. It is written after the Institute found their Headquarters, and names a runner, John.D, as the only survivor of the massacre that killed off their entire leadership.
-John. D’s role is explained more in the next entry, 2267: “John D has been finding tourists at a pretty good clip. But he keeps their identities to himself. Operational security he calls it.”
-In the 2268 entry the Institute is attacking the Railroad again “They found one of our safehouses, but no one there knew where our HQ is. John D developed a dead drop system we’ve been using.” John D seems to have made contributions to the structure of the Railroad as we currently know it. This is the last time he is mentioned.
-In 2273 the new leader, Pinky, begins making terminal entries after Coursers once again found HQ and killed Wyatt. “Deacon (that’s what he’s calling himself now) had an escape route planned, and most of the survivors owe him their life.” The first mention of Deacon.
-Desdemona is elected as the new leader in 2277.
-In 2281 they find the Switchboard, and P.A.M. An Institute synth managed to find and infiltrate one of their safehouses, but Deacon caught her before PAM did. PAM. The robot specifically designed to predict and calculate possibilities.
-PAM is stated to be working even harder to find the Institute in 2284. “Deacon’s convinced the solution lies in the past, not future. Deacon already knows the big secret - we know nothing about the Railroad before Wyatt was in charge (or is Deacon Johnny D??). Deacon’s been digging into Institute sightings from years, even decades before. Or at least that’s what he says. Getting real tired of his lies.” Even Desdemona doesn’t get the full breadth of information that Deacon works with.
-In 2286, the year before the Sole Survivor leaves Vault 111, Deacon is barely seen at HQ. Since his role in the Railroad is to spy and gather intel, he must have been away a lot for Desdemona to note his absence in the logs. He was apparently “chasing ghosts.”
-In 2287 Desdemona states that Deacon is working on a secret project (a continuation of what he was doing the year before?) She refers to it’s code name Wanderer “Deacon has a wild theory, and an even wilder plan (Tea Party). I agree there’s something strange there, but I’m with holding judgement.”
A lot of things to look at. And some of these had me wondering what the hell I was supposed to make of them for a good long while. But I’ve come up with some things~
I think it’s very likely that Deacon was John.D - Deacon possibly being his last name. Maybe. There are several notable Railroad members whose admittance is noted in terminal entries - Deacon’s isn’t. The first mention of him is of someone changing their name to Deacon after the second time the Institute found HQ. Neither John D’s exit or entry into the Railroad is documented; if Desdemona suspects that Deacon might be John D, then it’s fair to say that his death or disappearance isn’t documented at all. In 2275 Deacon is referred to as ‘face-changing’, but John D never was. This could mean that he only started changing his face after becoming Deacon, after the second mentioned attack by the Institute on their HQ.
It isn’t mentioned when the rail signs were created or who thought them up, but I’m willing to bet it was Deacon. Deacon is the one that we are introduced to all of the secrets of the Railroad through; even though there’s a chart of rail signs at HQ and Glory or Desdemona or even Tom could have explained them to us. But no, it’s Deacon. He is the one that explains all these precautions that they take; talks them up, gives approval when the player plays along and uses code words. In fact, aside from tourists, he seems to be the only person that regularly employs all of the tactics. And they’re all effective: it seems that the only way the Railroad can be destroyed is through player action. It’s entirely possible that the reason they seem to be so effective and well-implemented is because Deacon is the one who created them after his experiences. He is the only survivor from the Railroad that existed 20 years ago, he knows much more than others and, as Desdemona says, rarely gives information to the rest of the group.
Because he knows the risk of information being spread among too many people - the terminal entry for 2266 names members in a safehouse knowing HQ’s location as the reason for it’s destruction by the Institute. Each new leader of the Railroad notes that their predecessor messed up in some way, which led to their death. “I think where Agamemnon went wrong, is that HQ was known by too many people. I’m theorizing here, but once the Institute hit a safehouse and leaned on anyone the HQ would be easy to find.” “I figure you should know how we messed up… if one safehouse goes down assume that all Hell’s coming for your ass, because it probably is.”
He lies so much because he has seen what being under-cautious will get people, he’s seen three HQs destroyed and seen what led to their destruction - he has taken it upon himself to do everything he can to make sure that doesn’t happen again. Even if it means he’s the resident liar, even if it means he has to be someone he doesn’t like. Lying is instinctual to him, it has to be. He is dedicated.
At one point he attempts to lie to the player and tell them that he’s actually the leader of the Railroad and, honestly, I think this might actually be the most truthful thing he’s ever said. He might not be the one making the big decisions, but it seems that he’s heavily involved or influenced them all in some way. _______________ As noticed by many people, Deacon will keep track of the player and appear in certain locations in disguise before they meet the Railroad. Diamond City, Goodneighbour, Memory Den, Bunker Hill. He can even admit that he’s been following the PC through speech checks.
And also I found this
(I couldn’t take a screenshot so I hunted this down)
This is overlooking Vault 111, with a very clear view of the platform, from a perfectly concealed position. It’s location is near the edge of the map, quite out of the way and unlikely to be found by most people.
What the shit does this mean? Let’s explore what we know.
PAM states that the SS was not predicted by her - not predicted to appear, or their involvement was not predicted? - But PAM is not infallible, she has been proven wrong before, she was ‘out-predicted’ by Deacon and she also didn’t predict the Brotherhood finding their HQ.
The Railroad also apparently didn’t view Vault 111 as important; they thought it was destroyed (I haven’t seen this dialogue myself and I can’t find a source so if anyone can point me to one that would be appreciated). It’s odd that, with Vault 111 being the last unopened Vault in the Commonwealth, there aren’t more signs of attempted break-ins - because all Wastelanders know that, if anything, vaults will contain valuable supplies and tech, so it should be a target. But the signs point to the Railroad not viewing it as important. So why is there a small shelter with the rail sign for ‘ally’ overlooking it?
I thought it could be nothing, just a little easter egg for people who go to the edges of the maps - until I remembered that there is a Regional Vault-tec HQ in the city. There is a terminal inside, that isn’t password locked, that states that Vault 111 was to have hundreds of gallons of liquid nitrogen delivered to it, and a note wondering what it would be used for.
The information is out there in the open, easily accessible by anyone who would think to go to the Vault-tec HQ and would be able to put the pieces together. Deacon often jokes around and tries to not put too much emphasis on his abilities, but it’s clear from the above analysis that he is one of the main reasons the Railroad has been able to continue - he’s smart. Very smart, and good with information and drawing conclusions. So, he could have used this completely offhand bit of information and conclude that Vault 111 was using cryogenics in some capacity, and that there’s the chance that there would be people still in the vault.
(Further analysis of the railsign by the vault over here)
But this can go deeper- Deacon knew that there would be someone in there. In the 2284 entry Deacon is looking into sightings of the Institute from “years, even decades before” and in 2286 he is “chasing ghosts”. Remember that Kellogg and the Institute entered the vault 60 years prior - and while the Institute is incredibly enigmatic, they aren’t completely unknown if there are recorded sightings or energy readings that Deacon has access to. Vault 111 was opened 60 years ago “sightings from years, even decades before” and Kellogg hasn’t been heard of for several years “chasing ghosts”.
So, there’s now the possibility that
the Institute was documented near Vault 111 60 years ago
Deacon found this out while working to figure out where they are located
since he’s regularly in the field he would have ample opportunity to look through Vault-tec HQ for any information on the vault
and since the vault was closed up again he concluded that there’s likely someone still in there.
This is Deacon acting independently; he was waiting for the vault to open up again. Actually, he could have even concluded that since it was the Institute that opened the vault the first time, and the Institute is never involved in anything good, the person(s) left inside might be interested in working with them, as opposing the Institute is one of their main goals. This is why he follows the player.
“Deacon has a wild theory, and an even wilder plan (Tea Party). I agree there’s something strange there, but I’m with holding judgement.“
(Some thoughts about the meaning of ‘Tea Party’ over here)
Desdemona knows, but she’s being cautious. But the rest of the Railroad is in the dark; they don’t consider Vault 111 at all. Because that’s how Deacon operates. He has been withholding information since he was John D, and he’s only done it more frequently as the years went on. He knows better than anyone the importance of compartmentalizing information and the possibility of infiltration in the Railroad.
I will say here that I’ve been torn over whether or not his last story is a lie. And after writing this I’m leaning more towards it being a lie- which might be disappointing to people used to the idea of being able to change a character (or at least how they view the PC) at the end of a relationship, but I personally don’t find it so. Deacon’s entire character is built around the fact that he lies, that he has to lie. All of his previous conversations involve him lying right to your face, it’s not exactly subtle that lying comes to Deacon as easily as breathing.
Whether or not he keeps information and plans from the Railroad because he doesn’t trust all of them or because he knows how dangerous the Institute is (or maybe both), he has known them for a while, cares a great deal about them, and even refers to them as family. And he likely even feels a sense of responsibility in making sure the organisation survives, being the only original member from before their decline. But they know next to nothing about him.
I guess it could be interpreted that Deacon feels a kinship with the SS, thus leading to the revelation of his past … but I don’t believe so. It doesn’t fit with what we know about him. There’s also the possibility that the SS is working with other factions, and since Deacon follows them in disguise he would be aware of this. And is it just a coincidence that, while John D is never mentioned as changing his face, both Deacon and his face-changing only appear after the second assault on HQ? If the original interpretation of his final conversation is that he changes his face because of what he did to Synths and what happened to his wife, shouldn’t John D be mentioned to also change his face? It’s only after he survived a second attack that he becomes Deacon and seems to start doing it. “Deacon (that’s what he’s calling himself now) had an escape route planned, and most of the survivors owe him their life.”
What I’m trying to say with all this is: why should Deacon believe that the SS cares about the Railroad and is as dedicated to it as he is?
I don’t believe it takes anything from his character or the friendship the SS can have with him. If anything it presents a more interesting example of a character utterly devoted to their work, and the drawbacks that come with that devotion.
One last thing: Desdemona knows that Deacon is working on a secret project, which is code named Wanderer. When you join the Railroad you have to choose a code name; there are several options- Whisper, Fixer, Charmer … but there’s a hidden name that Desdemona will give you if you refuse one. A name that she thinks fits you best - Wanderer.
I’ve seen complaints that, in addition to not being a romance option (and therefore not as complete as characters that are for some reason??), Deacon has very little story, with most of his content being disposable lies. I have always disagreed - and this just furthers my stance. He is likely to be one of the most interesting and well thought out characters in the whole game.
_______
This post ended up taking a lot longer than I thought it would, and I haven’t really had a chance to look into much meta or analysis of Fallout 4 and god, I’ve missed it ~~
But this is done. And I’m going to be looking at other aspects of the game and getting the other huge post I’ve been working on finally finished. As always, any feedback is welcome - thank you for reading !
Edit: This has turned into a series of meta on Deacon, which I am using this tag for.
Ngl at this point I should probably say this blog was mostly made so I could show you my vast collection of Valentine sketches lmao
Day 18 -- Deacon
The (nsfw) details for Kinktober, Day 18 are just below the cut!
Minors, please don't interact.
Voyeurism with Deacon x g/n! Sole
Whoops, big surprise, this got angsty. Sorry Deeks! I just can't help it with this man, I don't know why 😅 but hopefully y'all still enjoy it regardless!
Here is the link to my Kinktober 2022 Event list so you can stay up-to-date, or re-visit these works as you please.
Included: Voyeurism, (non-consensual voyeurism), masturbation, angst, wishful thinking, pining.
1.6k words.
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Yeah. This is cute.
Deacon’s mind said to him dryly.
This is a healthy response to this situation. This isn’t weird. Sole will understand. They’ll get it.
The spy shook his head, eyes closed tight as his brain spewed unwanted words of restraint, of undesired and unneeded common sense.
What the hell is sensible about any part of this situation? We’re in an abandoned ice cream shop that Sole used to visit on weekends before giant bombs blew everything to hell, and they took a nap for 200 years. We’re surrounded by packs of super mutants on one side, and raiders on the other, and I’m biting into the back of my hand to keep quiet as they moan through the fabric of their shirt on the other side of this thin, crumbling concrete wall. Nothing about this situation is even remotely expectable.
He could hardly fucking stand it.
You’re both doing the same damn thing, if you’d just talk to them about it, maybe, the two of you could finally–
Deacon hissed through his teeth, his uncomfortably dry hand stroking too harshly over his erection as the frustration built up in both his mind and body.
This isn’t the same. Another side of his mind refuted. I’m over here, pining the skin off my cock for them, while they’re undoubtedly thinking about their late spouse-- Or… anyone else, even. --at the feel of their own hand.
He didn’t know.
I should be thinking of Barbara. Or of someone– anyone, but them. Right along with them.
They’re the only fucking friend I’ve got. I’ve had, in… what? A decade? Maybe more? I can’t count right now.
Deacon’s head fell back against the wall, a grimace coating his expression, even as his blue eyes hazed over with climbing bliss.
I can’t lose them over… what? Wanting to engage in a little hanky panky with them? Wanting what? A close connection? Intimacy? Vulnerability? When– in what universe would that ever happen?
We both know I could never have anything like that again.
A deep breath escaped him, throaty and louder than he would’ve liked as his thumb grazed over his slit, collecting some of his slick pre-cum and stroking it over his length as the only way to ease the friction of his rough hand.
A noise sounded through the thin wall behind him, and Deacon ceased his movements., holding his breath.
Shit. Did they just hear me?
Just as he was contemplating trying to zip his jeans up over her cock, to hide the evidence; just as some half-assed story was forming on his lips about why he was sitting back here against the wall, rather than out where he should be, out on watch, another sound interrupted his train of thought.
He felt his cock throb at the sound, as he heard Sole’s moan fill the air around him. A gasp followed shortly after, and then a bit of silence, but Deacon could still feel them there, somehow, he could feel Sole’s lingering presence just on the other side, and he knew they were just worried. Worried that someone would hear what they were doing. Worried like he was.
What am I doing? Deacon asked himself for the upteenth time that night, and so many nights before now.
This is wrong. It’s gross, and it’s wrong, and it’s not fair, for you to hear them like this without earning it, without them knowing. It’s wrong to be out here doing this in response to it.
Deacon’s hand stilled on his cock, refusing to stroke himself, but gripping tight enough to hurt as his mind flooded with thoughts like these. He wasn’t unused to self-loathing, nah, he and that go waaaaay back, but this? This seemed low. Even for the likes of him.
Sole wasn’t some stranger in a pub, not some escort or one-night-stander, not someone he didn’t know on the other side of a hotel room, who just happens to be engaging in the same fun little activity as him. No, Sole was the reason for this… activity. They were in his thoughts, always, even when they weren’t in front of him, or by his side, on the days he went out on his own, they were still there.
And he fucking hated it.
That they were reduced to this.
They’re his best friend, his partner, the reason his smiles aren’t so forced, the reason he feels he might still, after all this time, all these years, have the capacity to love someone when he thought that had all died long ago.
His body jolted as another breathy sound left his partner from the other side of the wall, and his eyes rolled back in his head.
Goddamn, if I could see what they look like when they make that sound.
With that very image coming unbidden to his mind, Deacon’s hand unwittingly was back to stroking over his cock. He worked himself slowly, savoring the feeling, allowing his mind to wander to the possibility of him being the one to make them sound like that, to make them look as he imagined they would. Their gorgeous eyes rolled back in their head, their lips spread as they moaned his name, their skin glistening, their hair wild. Their skin would be flushed, eyes hazy as they blinked them open to steal a glance at him as he ravished their body, as he used his silver tongue to work towards a goal more worthwhile than any other. As he did as they deserved, as he worshiped them like he were one of the deacons of the old world and they were his God, shepherding their release like all the poor sinners those men would bring to the light.
Sole’s gasps were leaving them more rapidly now, building to a crescendo that Deacon would give all that he had left to be a part of. Hell, he’d throw his choice shades off the top of trinity tower to be the one to bring about their thunderous release.
But he was doomed to be a bystander. Invisible, as he always was, as he heard them groan out from the other side of the wall. A thud sounded against the concrete as he imagined their head falling back at the overwhelming feeling of their release.
It was the sound that got him.
Deacon hadn’t thought he was close, he’d been so caught up in his own fantasy, all of his tormenting thoughts, he couldn’t feel his body’s signs, and now, he was caught completely off-guard. The spy bit hard into his wrist as a low grunt escaped him against his will, his light eyes prickling with tears of pleasure as he finally felt that pressure release within him.
His seed sprayed down onto the dirt, leaving him in enthusiastic spurts that had his hips writhing and his head knocking against that same wall Sole was surely collapsed against.
The next battle came in the form of his breath, as Deacon pulled his hand away, he realized how fucking loud he was still being, even as the last white rope of his cum was emptied onto the floor. He released himself, forcing his mind to rally, to focus on easing his breath, as his cock softened where it laid over the lip of his boxers.
“Fuck me.” He whispered, eyes closed tight as the guilt all came swirling back into his mind with a vengence.
Again? I just did this again? One of these days, you know–
“Deacon?”
His eyes shot open as Sole’s voice carried from the other side of the wall.
“I-is that you?” They asked, uncertain, their voice almost shaking.
Every thought entered his mind at a million miles a minute, swirling together in a confused traffic jam of ‘what do I say’s?’ and ‘what the hell do I do’s?’.
“Ahh,” The sound escaped his throat, as a way of aiding his thoughts, but he hadn’t meant for it to be verbal goddamn it.
“Ahem, uh, yeah. Deeks here.” He bit his tongue, tasting metal from the pressure.
Sole’s silence scared him more than their call of his name had.
“How, uh, how’s it hanging?”
Oh my god. One part of his mind panicked, while the other tried to grasp onto some form of sanity, of common sense. But that part of his mind, he didn’t know what it was, but it always seemed it’s hands were wet, or that common sense was made of ice and sanity was liquid water, always managing to slip frustratingly from his hold.
There’s no god out there that can save you, you buffoon. Nothing can. That was it. You finally did it. Finally managed to get caught.
He almost told his thoughts to ‘shut up’ out loud, but thought better of it at the last moment. That likely wouldn’t go over well with Sole. Especially after they hadn’t said a damn thing.
“You heard me, huh.”
The blood drained from his face. It wasn’t a question from their end, but worse than their certainty was the shame that he heard drip from every word.
“That… uh, that I did. Yeah.”
If he was gonna be the creepy asshole sitting out here while they did their personal business, he at least could own up to it. Deacon may be a liar, but Sole, Sole wasn’t dumb. They’d know he was lying, and that would make it even worse.
“But, um…” He closed his eyes, taking a breath. “But you heard me too, so, you know. Guess we’re, uh, even. Right?”
“Yeah…” They said quietly, almost too quietly to hear with the wall in the way. Deacon didn’t have time to try to make what repairs he could before they were speaking again, this time louder than before.
“I won’t tell you about it, if you won’t tell me.” A light humor touched their voice.
Deacon let out a dry laugh, his chest aching for a reason he refused to acknowledge.
“Won’t tell you about what?” He said back, hoping they couldn’t hear the strain in his voice, the strain to sound humorous and light in return.
He heard their laugh from the other side, a lovely sound that tugged at the sides of his mouth, despite the lingering throb in his chest.
“Yeah, exactly. Good talk, partner.”
“Yeah.” He whispered, his brows creased beneath his shades. “Partner.”
How Much Territory Are the Fallout Player Characters Actually Micromanaging: An Analysis
I did some amateur research to figure out which of the Fallout protagonists (specifically 3, NV, and 4) have a reasonable area of land to constantly traverse. I used Apple Maps to find the straightest possible walking path from a point on either end of the game map, then multiplied the north-south and east-west figures to get an approximate square mileage. Since none of the walking paths were completely straight, these numbers will all be a little higher than actual. BUT the game maps also don’t completely correlate to the real-life locations, so consider these numbers to be estimates.
The Commonwealth: Around 600 square miles. This is honestly pretty manageable, especially if you’re teleporting or helicoptering all over the place. It would be exhausting, but you could theoretically get across the map in a day with time to spare for questing.
The Capital Wasteland: Around 800 square miles. Fairfax is the halfway point; very few locations on the western half of the map actually correspond to anything in real life. The exception is the cavern Little Lamplight is based on, which would make the game map 100 miles long. The map definitely doesn’t extend that far into Virginia.
New Vegas: Kind of hard to calculate at this scale, but we’re looking at a little under 3000 square miles! Through. the Mojave. Desert. The Courier is really going to have to commit to a course of action before traveling, because they won’t be coming back for about a week.
If you’re a fanfic writer, remember that you don’t owe realism to anyone. BUT, if realism is something you care about for your writing, keep these distances in mind!
I don't wanna be weird but semi based on the comments he makes about assaultrons, I think Nick's type in women is ones who look like they could pick him up by his scruff like a cat. This applies to men as well but like... Buff women hit him different, and HUGE HUGE bonus points if they're taller than him. Basically if they look like they could grab him by his limbs and yank him apart, he's going to have a crunch on them
I’M DEEKPOSTING AGAIN, RAILROADIES
Deacon’s relationship with children(/his own lack thereof) is one of the most fascinating and understated pieces of character development in Fallout 4. I’m maybe too hg&:ghlkd@ to create a unified narrative here, so I’m just gonna make a list of details from the game and let you interpret from there.
Obviously he directly says that he and his wife were trying to conceive before she died. We don’t know whether it would ever have been possible, but, most likely, neither does Deacon.
He’s the only companion besides MacCready to love it if you share your grief at losing a child with Blake Abernathy. Also, as far as I can tell, he’s the only one to love it if you tell Miss Edna that children need love (and that love conquers all).
He seems to have some aversion to the subject of children, however, at least pre-war children. In the abandoned nursery he says, “When you’re done here, I’d like to leave,” in a very unDeaconlike tone. He also says he hates playgrounds.
Reaction to rads: “Great. I didn't need to have more children.” (Yeah okay you liar)
He has two different pieces of dialogue that make it sound like he would have been interested in being a teacher. “So teachers, all they did was teach, right? They didn't farm or run shops or run guns on the side? Wow.”/“If I wanted steady work I would've stayed a teacher.” (Yeah okay you liar)
There’s a very cute conversation where he gets intel from a little girl (possibly Meg?) who’s his informant. To all of our devastation, the man is great with kids. Considering that and his dialogue with Travis, I think he’d be an amazing dad.
He also seems to have a good relationship with Shaun. He pulled out his “actually I’m a synth” lie with Shaun, but knowing Deacon I’m guessing it’s to prepare him for the eventual realization that he’s a synth himself.
[idk when this dialogue triggers, possibly also in radiation] “If I keep tromping around here, guess there won’t be any little Deacons scurrying around in the future.” I really hope this isn’t a joke and he still has hope of being a father. He’s obviously not interested in the player character, but that doesn’t mean he’s ruled out remarriage. He’s been a Railroad agent for over fourteen years, so he probably feels like he’s running out of time.
There's this added layer of sadness to the Sole Survivor that I've never seen anyone talk about, and that's the fact you as the protagonist haven't just been stripped of your identity not just in a metaphorical sense, but a very literal one as well. Despite being frozen for 210 years, the world before would still be fresh in your mind.
Imagine walking down into The Third Rail for the first time to hear the angelic singing of Magnolia echoing throughout the establishment, and as you turn the corner to see her performing in the spotlight, your expression immediately changes as you realize... that's your dress she's wearing.
You're in Diamond City and head over to the office to talk to Mayor McDonough about asking permission to check out Kellogg's house, and when you're talking to Geneva at the front desk you notice she's wearing your mother's necklace. Or worse, you bump into Ann Codman and she's the one wearing it, and you barely get a chance to get a second glimpse at it before she huffily walks away.
You see old memories of yours for sale that you can't buy back because you don't have the money, finding belongings of yours in the most unlikely of places. Things of yours owned by people who can't be convinced that those items are still yours to you, because they can't believe you're really from all those years ago so they mock you instead.
Seeing old photos of you happy from your life before, being placed among photos of other people in buildings being used as some kind of decoration. A bitter realization and a constant reminder that you, the things you use to associate with and the people you use to associate with really are just relics of the past.
The thing about Deacon, Danse, and Hancock that I find most relatable is the fact that they are surrounded by so many people they get along with, but yet don’t consider anyone a friend (except maybe Hancock) until Sole.
It’s like they put themselves out there by offering to be Sole’s companion with subconscious hope that it may lead to somewhere (although they may not be sure where or that’s why they are doing it). And then it pays off in the end.
(And they didn’t offer that to just anyone.)