Gender Transition - Blog Posts

Being trans nonbinary is so annoying because my brain is like "We have dysphoria, let's transition so we can pass!"

Pass as what?

It's so stupid hard to "pass" as androgynous to the general public. It's this obnoxiously thin line that feels completely out of reach to get to, at least not without giving up other forms of gender expression that feel euphoric to me. I wouldn't even mind not being fully androgynous, if nothing else I just want to make people stop and think for a second before they inevitably go ahead and misgender me anyways.

It sucks that the best I can hope for in terms of transition is confusion. I see trans binary folks talking about the euphoria they get from passing and being accepted in society as their true gender, having the ability to go stealth. And I desperately want that too. I wish people weren't so hellbent on sorting others into binaries at all costs, and I wish there was hrt that could make me androgynous without giving me other traits that I dont want (ex. facial hair, bottom growth, heavily masculine voice). I literally just want to be seen as who I actually am and it's crushing knowing Im probably never going to get to have that.

Not taking into consideration the limits of modern tech or affordability, Vernids are a super good representation of what my ideal physical species transition would look like, short of just straight up shapeshifting.

(Art not mine)

When trying to envision my ideal form, the biggest obstacle Ive run into is trying to choose which kintype I'd lean into most heavily, like whether I'd want to be predominantly wildebeest or african wild dog, a pretty impossible task since prioritizing one at the expense of others would still leave me feeling incomplete.

But with Vernids, most of the core traits I'd want in a physical form remain present (digitigrade legs, paws, fur, etc.), but are still kinda shuffled around to create something new altogether. I think literally the only thing I'd change is I would probably want shorter, more canine-like ears. But otherwise if I could press a button to look like these guys I'd do it so fast.