Grey Aroace - Blog Posts

Am I the only one who has a few specific friends who I'm really close with and love to be around, and, if they wanted to, I'd be completely down for making our relationship into something different (romantic, queerplatonic, etc.), but at the same time, I don't activity have a crush on them or want to push for a different relationship bc what if they don't feel the same way or don't know what queerplatonic relationships are.

I want a relationship that is completely undefinable by any existing labels or words. Like, we're so close and we hug and kiss each other's foreheads and cuddle and travel and explore together, and we get along so well and have so much in common. But at the same time, our relationship isn't fully romantic or fully platonic; it's a completely separate, open-to-interpretation thing that we tweaked as needed, and we have our own boundaries and things we are and aren't comfortable with, and we respect each other in every way, shape, and form.

Am I the only aro-spec person who switches between wanting a committed partnership, be it romantic, platonic, queerplatonic, etc, and wanting to be as far away from relationships as possible?

Was I the only aro-spec person who had the experience of thinking that I had crushes growing up, but looking back, they might not have been crushes because 1. I could never or only rarely name any traits that I liked about them (and those rare times that I could were traits that I simply admired), 2. I felt immense relief when they rejected me, or 3. I just wanted to have a crush, so I chose a person and consciously decided to develop feelings for them, not knowing that it doesn't work like that?

Something I recently realized that helped me understand my aro-spec identity is that my "crushes" that I can remember weren't actually fueled by romantic attraction for the person. They were actually fueled by attraction towards the idea of dating/liking them, but not actually them as a person. I wanted to find my soulmate and as soon as I found someone that I thought fit that ideal, I would start daydreaming about being with them, but I wasn't really attracted to them as a person, just my idealized version of them and the relationship. As a result, I couldn't really name any traits about those people that I liked, aside from surface level ones like, "funny," "nice," and "hardworking." And while I was aesthetically attracted to them, I never really fantasized about kissing them or being super romantic with them (aside from maybe hand-holding or hugging), and if I ever tried, it made me uncomfortable and felt like I was violating them. Did anyone else have a similar experience or is it just me?

Reblog if you

- really want a queer platonic relationship - have a QPR - really want an asexual relationship - have an asexual relationship - are aro-spec - are ace-spec - are aroace-spec - have a pet - want a pet - are openly queer - are openly LGBT+ - are a Supernatural-fan - are a geek - are a Sherlock-fan or just love Lilo & Stitch

Did any other aroace-spec people try to write fanfiction when they were younger, but struggled to write romance/romantic scenes? Because I vividly remember trying to write fanfiction when I was younger, but not really knowing how to write the romance because that wasn't something that I felt that much. And this goes for all kinds of romantic fanfic, reader insert, OC insert, shipping, etc. I tried writing all of the above, and every single time, I was unable to write, or even sometimes start, the romantic scenes, because I just didn't know what exactly that felt like or how romantic relationships started. And even when I could get through writing fanfic, it just felt SO unnatural and weird to actually write; like not bad, but just odd, like not realistic. But somehow, people really liked it, so I guess I did something right lol

Same!! I love iced matcha lattes!! Water is probably my go-to drink, but I drink matcha almost everyday soooooo

ok so i got it aroace people love to eat garlic bread, but what do y'all like to drink ? i'm curious

for me I prefer iced coffee or iced matcha latte. anyone else ?

I WANT A QPR SOOOOOO BADDDDD!!

I want someone that I can call my partner, but not necessarily in a romantic way. I want someone to hug and be close to. I want someone who I can listen to and who can listen to me. I want someone who shares my interests. I want someone that will agree to discuss and respect our boundaries with one another. I want someone who I can just be with, like we can just exist together. I want someone who will go book shopping with me and just listen to me gush about different books. I want someone who will walk down the halls with, and maybe we'll hold hands and maybe we won't. I want someone who will always be ready to comfort me and who I can comfort whenever they need it. I want someone who will help me calm down and think through things carefully. I want someone who I can explore and go on adventures with.

Basically, I just really want a queerplatonic partner/relationship.

Am I the only aroace-spec person who read a lot of fanfic when I was younger, but instead of inserting myself into the reader insert stories, I would just insert one of my characters or a random OC that was similar to me but not the same, bc it felt weird to put myself into those situations?

Or was that just me?

Tai Lung Po Shen

(@tales-of-tai-shan )

Appreciation post for this lineup of flags that is fuckin rad and now lives rent free in my head