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I laugh everything I look at/remember my username, because to others it probably looks like sweet or loving or something like that, but I know that it was born out of frustration as I tried to convey that I didn't exist and I hated every thing and everyone including myself.
My username was born of the purse loathing and it absolutely does not convey that, so I feel like i have a sneaky little secret.
Hey everyone! I have decided not to do any love life things, I HATE them. Really sorry for all you shippers and/or lovers, but I’m not doing that kind of content. Really sorry, thanks for the support everyone!
Guys, tell me, why do I get bored of people so easily? Like at first I talk abt them a lot, like obsessed even, I love them, I genuinely do, I see their flaws and red flags, but I decide to accept them as they are, cuz no one is ever perfect. And then I get bored. Slowly I start to see more of their flaws and after a while it's all I can see in them and I start to hate them. It makes me cry. Like I just want a friend. A real friend. A friend that loves me and I love them, but I'm not obsessed and I don't get bored easily. Pls I wanna have a friend that's always here for me, that'll be with me until we get old. It hurts not being able to do it. But how do I do that? If you know, can you tell me?
Once he was weak
Once he was frail
Erratic and petulant
Puny no longer
Deemed nothing
Perceived as useless
Abandoned by everyone.
Who got the last laugh?
He was always bullied, seen as a failure
He was always judged, no redemption given
once he got power and proved them wrong
It was now he who watched from above
Judging the imbecile, the fool and the blind
Oh, the irony, he who was judged, became the judger.
Thou shall fear me
Thou shall fear us
Thou shall fear them
Less than a man
Less than a dog
Less than a toy
Less than a thing
Your consciousness is a disgrace to mankind
Your worthless life is a shame to mortality
Thy will make you what you fear
Thy will make you what you hate
Thy will make you feel shame
Thy will make you feel disgust
Your sanity will be crippled
Your honor will be destroyed
You are a slave
You are a peasant
You will be a fool
You will be an imbecile
I am the only one, and the only thing
You will be fucking afraid of.
HOW’S IT FEEL TO KNOW THAT THE INNOCENT CROCHET TURTLE WHO HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG IS GOING TO BE NAMED AFTER THE MENSTRUAL CYCLE BECAUSE OF ME
ALSO I’M PASSING ON THE MOSS. GET GREENED LOSER I’M TURNING YOU GREEN
First of all, the turtle isn't even mine. Second, why the fuck did you pass the moss onto me. I can't afford to be covered in moss!
Has anybody ever read a book that genuinely pissed you off?
As I am writing this I'm remembering the mistake I made a year ago where I read this comic about two boys cause I thought the artstyle looked unique and interesting. I'm here to tell you now that was the BIGGEST mistake made.
At first it was all cutesy and stuff but then the story progressed and it got so much worse to the point where I was wishing genuine death on most of the characters, but I couldn't stop, I wanted to see if the author would change it, I wanted feel even a speck of hope that things would get better.
BUT NO, IT DIDN'T!
As I'm writing this I'm getting so upset and emotionally and I know a piece of fiction shouldn't make me upset like this but I can't help it. Whenever I unfortunately remember the book and characters anger courses through me and I get so emotionally that tears start to form as I unwillingly remember every detail from that book.
This sparks the urge to go into my little notes app and plot out a better story than that author ever could.
Anyways that's my little rant, thanks for reading if you did I just needed to get my frustration out in a healthy way.
You had always been a hothead. It was something the team had come to accept, even appreciate, over time. Your sharp tongue and refusal to take anyone’s crap made you the perfect manager for Seijoh—especially when it came to keeping the chaos of Oikawa and the others in check.
Until Kyōtani arrived.
They called him Mad Dog for a reason, and from the moment he stepped onto the court, you knew he was going to be a problem. He was raw, aggressive, barely listening to anyone, and his sheer refusal to be controlled made him the biggest wildcard the team had ever seen. Even Oikawa—who had made a sport out of getting under people’s skin—had to take a step back and re-evaluate.
The coach, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi had even pulled you aside before his first official practice, practically begging you to not bite his head off.
“Look,” Iwaizumi had said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just… try not to engage with him too much. He’s got a short fuse.”
Oikawa sighed dramatically. “And you have a much shorter one, which makes this whole thing a recipe for disaster.”
You had rolled your eyes, arms crossed. “I’m not going to start anything. But I’m not going to stand by and let him run the show, either.”
And true to your word, you hadn’t gone looking for a fight. But Kyōtani made it impossible not to fight back.
The team tried to adjust to him, letting his rough playing style integrate into their system, but you could see it plain as day—Kyōtani wasn’t playing with them. He was playing through them, like they were just obstacles in his way instead of teammates.
So when he nearly took out Matsukawa during a reckless play, you didn’t hold back.
The tension in the gym shifted the second you opened your mouth.
“Kyōtani, if you’re going to keep playing like a brainless lunatic, at least do it outside of practice where you’re not dragging the rest of us down.”
The words sliced through the gym, sharp and unapologetic.
Silence.
The entire team froze. Even Oikawa, who usually thrived on chaos, hesitated mid-laugh, his expression shifting into something wary. Iwaizumi muttered a curse under his breath, already preparing for the fallout.
Kyōtani’s head snapped up so fast it was almost inhuman, his eyes burning with a fury that could’ve set the entire gym on fire. His entire body stiffened before he was already charging toward you, a force of pure, unrelenting anger.
“The hell did you just say to me?” His voice was gravel, rough and unrestrained, like he was barely holding himself back.
You didn’t flinch. Didn’t waver. Just folded your arms and stepped toward him, meeting his fire with your own. “I said you’re reckless. A liability. And if you keep playing like an idiot, you’re going to cost us more than just a few points.”
Kyōtani’s jaw locked. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
“The one who has to clean up after your messes,” you shot back, eyes gleaming with defiance. “You think playing like a rabid dog makes you stronger? It just makes you sloppy.”
The muscle in his jaw ticked dangerously. He took another step forward, close enough that you could feel the heat of his fury radiating off him. His fists clenched so tightly at his sides that his knuckles went white. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“Oh? Then tell me,” you challenged, tilting your head mockingly. “Are you deliberately making the same dumbass mistakes, or is it just a bad habit?”
A few strangled sounds came from the team behind you. Hanamaki visibly recoiled, while Matsukawa mouthed, Holy shit. Oikawa, however, looked absolutely delighted.
Kyōtani’s breath hitched, nostrils flaring as his rage boiled over. “The hell’s your problem?!?”
You smirked, unbothered. “Right now? You.”
That was it.
Kyōtani lunged—actually lunged—shoulders tensing like he was about to tear through you.
“Oi! Enough!” Oikawa’s voice cut through the thick tension as he shoved himself between you, hands raised in an attempt to de-escalate. “Let’s not murder our manager, yeah? Not exactly great for team morale.”
Neither of you budged.
“Back off, Oikawa,” Kyōtani growled, eyes still locked onto yours like a predator locked onto prey.
“Yeah, no, I don’t think I will,” Oikawa shot back, still grinning but with thinly veiled nerves. “How about we all take a deep breath and—”
“Kyōtani,” Iwaizumi cut in, voice sharp, stepping in beside Oikawa. His hand slammed into Kyōtani’s chest, holding him back with unquestionable force. “That’s enough.”
Kyōtani was breathing hard, his shoulders rising and falling erratically, but he didn’t move. Iwaizumi’s hold was unyielding—and everyone in the gym knew that when Iwaizumi shut something down, it was over.
For now.
Kyōtani’s chest heaved, but after a long, tense beat, he jerked his arm away and stormed toward the other side of the gym, hands clenched at his sides.
Kyōtani didn’t bother with another word. His jaw was locked, his entire frame radiating barely-contained rage as he turned on his heel and stormed out of the gym altogether, the doors slamming behind him with enough force to make the walls tremble. The silence he left in his wake was deafening, the air still crackling with tension even after he was gone.
You watched him go, arms still folded, expression neutral. But inside?
You were already looking forward to the next round.
And you could tell—so was he.
By the time the rest of the team had filtered out of the gym, you were still lingering, scribbling down notes on the practice report. The tension from earlier was still humming beneath your skin, but at least Kyōtani was gone, having stormed out long before practice had officially ended.
Just as you were about to finish up, Iwaizumi’s shadow loomed over you.
"What the hell was that?" His voice was low, firm, and pissed—the kind of tone that immediately told you there was no wriggling out of this one.
You let out a light scoff. "What? He started—"
"No. Stop." His voice was sharp enough to cut through any excuse you were about to give. "You can't keep having explosive arguments like this. This isn't some damn street fight. You're the manager. You're supposed to be keeping things together—not provoking him into ripping the gym apart."
Your mouth snapped shut, irritation prickling under your skin. "I wasn’t provoking him, I was holding him accountable. Someone has to."
Iwaizumi pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling through gritted teeth. "Someone will. And that someone is not you."
Oikawa whistled low from a few feet away. "Yikes. Parent mode activated."
Iwaizumi shot him a glare so lethal that even Oikawa had the good sense to shut up.
"Here's what's going to happen," Iwaizumi continued, his gaze back on you. "You're going to apologize."
Your head snapped up. "Absolutely not—"
"You will apologize," he emphasized, his tone brooking no argument, "because he's been instructed to do the same. And for the next week, you’re both staying late every night to clean up the gym together. Since you apparently need time to warm up to each other.""
You gaped at him. "Iwaizumi, if we're left alone together, we will kill each other."
His lips pressed into a thin, unimpressed line. "Either or—it’s a win-win."
Oikawa lingered for a moment, tilting his head at you with an all-too-pleased smirk. "You know, this is probably the funniest thing that’s happened all week. You having to play nice with Mad Dog? I might just have to stick around and watch."
You shot him a glare, but before you could fire back, Iwaizumi grabbed him by the collar, dragging him toward the exit. "No, you won’t."
Oikawa laughed, waving over his shoulder. "Good luck! Try not to get mauled!"
And with that, Iwaizumi yanked him out of the gym, leaving you standing there, seething. __
The morning air was crisp, and players filtered into the gym one by one, stretching and murmuring in hushed conversations about the previous day’s events. In the back of the building, hidden away from curious eyes, you and Kyōtani stood rigid, staring each other down like caged animals, with Iwaizumi standing between you both, arms crossed and absolutely fuming.
“Now,” Iwaizumi started, his tone flat and deadly, “apologize. Both of you.”
You scoffed, arms crossing tightly over your chest. “I have nothing to apologize for—”
“Neither do I,” Kyōtani snapped immediately, jaw locked tight.
Iwaizumi’s glare was sharp enough to cut steel. “That wasn’t a request.”
The weight of his voice left no room for argument, but that didn’t stop you from trying. “Fine,” you muttered begrudgingly, narrowing your eyes. “Sorry for calling you a brainless lunatic. No matter how accurate that name is.”
Kyōtani gritted his teeth so hard you could hear it before muttering, "And I'm sorry for calling you a raging bitch behind your back."
A tense silence stretched between you both, the mutual death glare unwavering. Iwaizumi pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a slow, controlled exhale. "Not great, but whatever. I’m done babysitting you both. Just remember—you’re staying late tonight. Every night. Until you actually learn how to work together."
Your lips curled in frustration, and beside you, Kyōtani’s nostrils flared in irritation. But there was no use arguing with Iwaizumi when he was like this. You both knew it.
Instead, you stomped off toward morning practice, shoulders tense, eyes locked in a wordless standoff with Kyōtani. His glare was like a challenge, sharp and unyielding, but you refused to be the first to break. If anything, you held his gaze harder, your jaw clenching as if sheer force of will could make him combust.
It was infuriating how he just stood there, equally stubborn, like he could go on all day. The tension between you two felt suffocating, thick like the summer heat just before a storm. Every second that passed only made it worse, only made you more determined not to give him the satisfaction of winning something as stupid as this.
The moment you stepped into the gym, you grabbed the clipboard harder than necessary, scowling as you checked off drills. Every muscle in your body was wound tight, and no matter how much you tried to focus, you could still feel him. Every movement Kyōtani made was too loud, every breath too noticeable, like he was doing it on purpose just to annoy you.
When he slammed a ball into the floor a little harder than necessary, you snapped.
"Could you not act like you're trying to break the court? We actually need it to play."
Kyōtani whipped his head toward you, scowl deepening. "Maybe if you stopped staring at me, it wouldn’t bother you so much."
Your fingers twitched. "Oh, please. Your presence is just naturally irritating."
"Funny, I was about to say the same thing about you."
Iwaizumi, watching from the sideline, let out a deep sigh, already regretting his life choices.
Oikawa strolled up beside you, hands casually tucked into his pockets, and leaned in slightly. "Remember to take a deep breath."
You turned to him immediately, eyes still blazing. "You're not helping."
Oikawa straightened, backing away quickly. "Right. Sorry."
The day dragged on, and your irritation refused to fade. Every small thing set you off—Kyōtani’s heavy footsteps, his reckless spikes, even the way he existed just within your space. By evening practice, your patience was nonexistent. Your responses were sharper, your glares colder, and everyone in the gym could feel the storm brewing.
As the team filtered out for the night, Matsukawa cast a sideways glance at Iwaizumi. "Are you sure it’s a good idea to leave them alone together? I’m not confident I won’t wake up and find out there’s been a homicide."
Iwaizumi grunted, arms crossed stubbornly. "They’ll be fine."
Matsukawa didn’t look convinced, but with one last wary glance, he left with the others, leaving just you and Kyōtani standing on opposite sides of the now-empty gym, the tension still thick enough to choke on.
You exhaled sharply through your nose, rolling your shoulders and trying to shake off the irritation that had clung to you all day. "Let’s just get this over with," you muttered, moving toward the storage area. "We’ll split the work. You pick up the stray balls on the court, and I’ll handle the gear." You turned back toward him, narrowing your eyes. "Think you can handle that?"
Kyōtani’s scowl deepened instantly. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Exactly what it sounds like." You turned on your heel before he could bark back another response, deciding it wasn’t worth the effort.
He muttered something under his breath, but you didn’t catch it. Instead, you focused on sorting through the practice gear, trying to ignore the obnoxious way Kyōtani stomped across the gym, each step somehow louder than the last. You could hear him roughly snatching up the scattered volleyballs like they had personally offended him, his movements jerky and aggressive. Then came the sound—
Thud. Thud. Thud.
The rhythmic slam of volleyballs hitting the ground as he hurled them over the net, one after another. It was like a slow, torturous metronome designed specifically to piss you off.
You gritted your teeth, trying to ignore it. Thud. Thud. Each impact echoed through the empty gym, grating on your nerves like nails on a chalkboard. Thud. Thud.
"Can you not?" you snapped finally, voice tight with irritation.
Kyōtani didn’t even look up. "What?"
"Quit throwing them like that. Just pick them up and put them in the cart like a normal person."
He scoffed, grabbing another ball and slamming it down even harder than before. "Get off my ass. It’s faster this way."
Your fingers curled into a fist, your nails pressing into your palm as you inhaled sharply through your nose. "I swear to god—"
"What? Gonna throw another tantrum? Go ahead, maybe Iwaizumi will pat you on the head and tell you what a good little manager you are," he sneered, his voice dripping with mockery. Another ball crashed against the floor with an especially sharp, echoing thud, rattling against the empty gym walls.
You stiffened. Thud. Again. Thud. Your eye twitched. Thud.
"Honestly, it’s almost cute how obsessed you are with what I do. Maybe if you focused more on your actual job instead of breathing down my neck, you'd get through this week without crying," he drawled, lazily tossing another ball over the net.
That was it.
Before you could stop yourself, you snatched up one of the stray volleyballs and hurled it straight at his head. It hit dead-on, bouncing off with a sharp thunk that was deeply satisfying.
Kyōtani froze mid-motion, shoulders locking up.
Then, slowly, he turned to face you, expression dark and dangerous. His breath was heavy, nostrils flaring, and for a second, the silence was deafening. Then—
He lunged.
Before you could react, his hands gripped your wrists, shoving you back against the gym wall with enough force to send a sharp jolt up your spine. Your breath hitched, the impact knocking the air out of your lungs, but you barely had time to register it before you were pushing right back.
"What the hell is your problem?!" you snapped, struggling against his hold.
"You," he growled, his voice low and rough, pressing in closer until his breath fanned against your skin. His grip was tight, keeping you in place even as you tried to shove him off.
"Let me go, you psycho," you hissed, jerking your wrists, but he only leaned in harder.
"You throw a ball at my head and expect me to just let it slide?" His voice was a snarl, but there was something else underneath it—something sharp, hungry.
And, of course, you pushed back.
"Yeah, actually," you bit out, lips curling into something close to a smirk. "Considering you deserved it. You’re lucky I don’t throw another."
Something in him snapped.
His hands shifted, and before you knew it, his mouth was on yours.
It wasn’t sweet. It wasn’t careful. It was a clash of teeth and frustration, of fury and heat, like neither of you could decide if you wanted to keep fighting or tear each other apart.
Your hands shot up to shove him away, but instead, they curled into his jersey, yanking him closer. His teeth grazed your bottom lip, a sharp bite that made you gasp, and he took full advantage, pressing in harder, deeper.
His hands dropped to your waist, gripping you tight, like he was staking a claim, and you met him head-on, pulling his hair, dragging your nails down his neck, taking just as much as he was giving.
Everything blurred into heat and rough touches, the way his body pressed against yours, the way your hips shifted instinctively, the way neither of you were thinking—just reacting.
Kyōtani pulled back, panting, his forehead pressing against yours, his grip still firm on your waist. His breath was hot against your skin, his eyes blown wide with something between rage and hunger.
"This is a bad idea," you muttered, voice breathless but defiant.
His fingers tightened on your hips.
"Yeah?" His voice was low, dangerous. "Then tell me to stop."
You didn’t.
"You always run your fucking mouth," he growled, voice sharp, jagged. His hands were rough, unforgiving as they gripped your thighs, spreading them apart with purpose. "Let’s see if you can still talk after this."
You huffed a laugh, fingers yanking down his shorts, not bothering to be gentle. "Bet you won’t last long enough to find out."
That was all it took.
Kyōtani didn't waste a second—he slammed inside you in one punishing thrust, forcing a sharp gasp from your lips. It was too much, too fast, too deep—but fuck, it was exactly what you wanted.
The first thrust knocked the air from your lungs. The second had you arching, dragging your nails down his back, marking him, spurring him on.
"Fucking tight," he gritted out, his buzzed hair scraping against your jaw as he bit at your neck, your shoulder—anywhere he could sink his teeth into. He was holding you like he owned you, like he needed to break you apart just to put you back together.
It was raw, messy, desperate. Each snap of his hips was brutal, slamming you harder into the wall, forcing pleasure and pain to blur together.
It should’ve been a fight for dominance, but neither of you were losing—you were meeting him with everything you had, clawing, grinding, biting.
Your fingers tangled into his hair, yanking hard. He snarled, gripping your hips so tight it would leave bruises, slamming into you harder, deeper.
"That all you got?" you taunted, voice breathless, challenging.
Kyōtani laughed—a dark, wrecked sound. "You really wanna test me, huh?"
His pace turned brutal, every thrust hitting deep, devastating. The sharp drag of his cock against your walls, the angle, the overwhelming pressure— it was too much. Too good.
You felt yourself unraveling, the heat coiling tight, pleasure pooling low in your stomach, ripping through you like fire.
"Fuck, I—"
He could feel it. The way your body tightened around him, trembling, desperate, right on the edge. And he wanted to push you over.
"Come on," he rasped, voice strained, his rhythm stuttering as he chased his own release. "You talk all that shit—let me hear you now."
That was all it took.
Pleasure slammed through you, violent and overwhelming, tearing a moan from your lips as you came, clenching around him, dragging him down with you.
Kyōtani cursed, low and guttural, hips jerking as he spilled inside you, his breath ragged, sharp teeth sinking into your shoulder like he needed to leave proof of what just happened.
For a long moment, the only sound was the ragged mix of your breathing. Your body was wrecked, trembling, weak—but so was his.
Kyōtani didn’t pull out. Didn’t move. Just gripped your jaw, tilting your face toward him, his forehead resting against yours as he panted through the aftershocks.
And then, voice rough, breathless, still full of that bite, he muttered—
"Still got something smart to say?"
You panted, barely able to catch your breath, a smirk tugging at your swollen lips. "Yeah—" you exhaled, voice rough, body still trembling. "I know what we're doing tomorrow."