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Illendra - Blog Posts
Past/Present/Future
Rebels In The Night
Feels like your life is over. Feels like all hope is gone. You kiss it all away. Maybe, maybe- This is a second coming. This is a call to arms! Your finest hour won't be Wasted, wasted! Hey, hey! Hell is what you make, make! Rise against your fate, fate! Nothing's gonna keep you down! Even if it's killing you! Because you know the truth! Listen up, listen up; There's a devil in the church! Got a bullet in the chamber, And this is gonna hurt! Let it out, let it out! You can scream and you can shout! Keep your secrets in the shadows and you'll be sorry!
(There comes a time you've gotta face it, face it)
I Expect You To Die
You must think you're so clever. I promise you, agent, Can't escape me forever! We're playing a game- You take from me, I take from you. But every game ends, And when this one is through-!
That voice in your ear, They've no chance to save you. A mere puppeteer- They only enslave you! You're a piece on a board! I bet with my wealth, my armies, and dreams; Your every success unveils still greater schemes. A lake full of acid, a drill from the sky- If you try to fight me, we'll watch your hopes die! Lasers and saw blades with sharks on standby! You're right where I want you! And this is goodbye!
(The best of the best, You'll die like the rest)
Gwendolyn jumped as the front door to the home he was staying at slammed open. He sat up from where he sat, placing his propped up feet back onto the floor. "Illy?" He stood and approached the woman he'd come to know as a friend who had somehow found where he was staying. "What are you doing here?"
Illendra stood in the doorway, dripping wet from the rain outside. She glared up from under her wet bangs and spoke clearly. "How do I die?" Her voice was firm, but shaky. And her eyes, dark with hate and anger. Wet with something other than the rain.
Gwendolyn drooped at the question and extended his arms to Illendra, trying to comfort her. "Illy. You know I can't-"
"Don't give me that shit, Rolfe!" Illendra stepped inside, pointing an accusatory finger at Gwendolyn. "I know you know and, damnit, you're the only one I can trust to tell me!" She motioned angrily, "Just- be the rebel you say you are and fucking tell me! I can't do this if- If I don't- If I don't know what he-" Illendra looked away and hugged herself.
Gwendolyn sighed and took off his coat, placing it over her shoulders gently. "Let's get you dried off, yeah? We can talk about this later, okay?"
"No!" Illendra shook off his coat, "I'm tired of all this! I'm tired of not knowing, of you looking at me with that pitying fucking look in you eyes-" Gwendolyn flicked his eyes away sheepishly at the point, knowing he'd been doing that. "I'm tired of- of Boss and this stupid fucking fate, and the stupid fucking curse bitch and- and-" Illendra buried a hand in her hair roughly, tears spilling freely at this point.
Gwendolyn blinked a few times, before sighing deeply and looking behind himself a moment in thinking before looking back to Illendra. "You know if I tell you, you can't go back to not knowing."
"You think I don't know that, Gwen?!" Illendra's voice cracked, sniffing angrily and wiping her eyes roughly. "I just.... Wouldn't you have wanted to know?" She looked away, hugging herself, "Before you made your own mistake? Left for your own fate?"
Gwendolyn looked to the floor, distantly. Thousands of screams and the terrible sirens rang somewhere in his mind. He bent down and picked up his coat, "You're impaled," Illendra startled at him actually saying something, instead of saying sorry and moving her along. He began to fold the coat absently, not looking at her, "In your abdomen. Right above your belly button. Your lung gets pierced and the sword exits to the right of your spine. You go into shock pretty much immediately, after he removes the blade. So you don't feel much. You bleed out, I think."
Illendra blinked a few times as Gwendolyn talked, having turned away from her and hung his coat over the arm of his coach as he spoke. He swallowed thickly and leaned on the coach, head hung as he took off his hat and put it on his chest in a mourning method. "I- .... You're not alone. As you die. There is someone there. I cannot say who, but it is not him. He flees after you fall. A small comfort, I know but...." He choked on what he could say after that.
Illendra sniffed and clutched at her stomach, gripping her shirt fabric there roughly. She smiled, however, tears flowing freely, "Thank you, Gwen."
"Sure," Gwendolyn's own voice cracked dryly, trying to ignore the future gurgling of pain and fear ringing in his ears. Knowing it was him who had to hold her as she died. Comfort her and tell her that it was okay. He didn't know if she would realize it was him. And she didn't need to know it was him. But... She didn't deserve to die alone. He knew he'd go there as soon as he knew. He knew he'd want the same. And so he'd give the same. For her. Because he-
"I'm sorry I asked you do that-" Illendra looked away a moment, sniffing, "I just-"
"It's fine," Gwendolyn pretended he wasn't crying and ran a hand through his hair. "You want something to drink? And a towel? You're dripping all over my carpet."
Illendra looked down before laughing bitterly, "Sorry. Sure. Thanks."
Gwendolyn nodded and went to the kitchen. Leaning against the wall next to the doorway after he finally entered it and covering his mouth. So he could finally sob openly.
I think it’s time I talk about Illendra.
I mention her a few times, talking about Covah and his story. But I’ve never talked about her.
Illedra, in case you can’t tell, is a member of the Arglwydd Amser race. She is one of many who protect time itself from anything that might deviate it from the path that fate demands it go. She is forever loyal to her creator, the god of time itself “Boss”. And will do anything Boss says. Like most Arglwydd Amsers.
At least, she was 100% loyal before Boss called her for a new mission one day. And assigned her the tremendous task….. of dying. Boss told her that she was fated to go and be with the wielder of a cursed sword, and eventually perish under his blade. But, in doing so, she would cause the wielder to question killing and eventually end the spirit inhabiting the blade- thus keeping others from the grasp of this deadly curse. And Boss from having to weave fate around this dumb curse the deity behind curses created.
Illendra, of course, feels apprehensive about the task before her. It is her duty to seal her fate so history may be written in the way it needs to be. But….. She’ll die. Be no more. And that’s a scary thought for any creature.
She was wallowing in her sorrow for a while, but eventually overheard rumors of a Arglwydd Amser who defied fate. One who roams free of Boss’s woven fate.
She managed to get a meeting with Gwendolyn, and ask his advice towards her situation. Gwendolyn, surprisingly, advised she follow her fate. He revealed that even he was not totally free from whatever fate the Boss decided for him now. He just refused to listen to him anymore, and recognized that their lot in life was total bullshit. The torture of knowing their fate and the fate of others would drive most mad. But they had to deal with it. They were all dolls in the major deity’s little game of house.
However, Gwendolyn suggest she delay her fate. She didn’t necessarily have to go die immediately. She had time, and told her to only go when she was ready. See sights, conduct chaos, whatever she wanted. But, she would eventually have to go to keep history in tact.
So, Illendra travels time. seeing things she’s always wanted to. And delaying the inevitable as much as she can.
But I Did What I Thought That I Had To
Which is bad too!
I thought that I could take it,
All the hate could just be shaken,
But when you lo- care for someone,
Not much hurts more than their scorn.