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Joel Beans - Blog Posts
extremely late to the party but anyway here’s tal wife smol husband
I forgor Joel’s antenna oh well.
what up losers? We’re not smallishbeans but we think he’s real neat and today we’re gonna stand in front of a chicken killing machine and not acknowledge it in the slightest while giving important info!!
Are you interested in a zine dedicated to Joel Smallishbeans being made, read, or used as a coaster? Well then I’ve got good news for you! (Except you coaster people. Go buy one off of Etsy or something. Jeez.)
please fill out THIS interest form if you answered the above question with yes! If you answered with no, please kindly go back to making toast or putting on your socks or whatever it is people who aren’t Jeremys do. This may be the wrong blog for you.
If I’ve made a horrible mistake in the interest form, please kindly let me know so I can fix it and then lie awake thinking about it at night for the rest of my life.
If you have questions, I assure that I do too. Answers will come along as I figure out what the heck is going on.
Guys I’ve found my life’s calling. I must be in this zine. Go fill out the form!!!
what up losers? We’re not smallishbeans but we think he’s real neat and today we’re gonna stand in front of a chicken killing machine and not acknowledge it in the slightest while giving important info!!
Are you interested in a zine dedicated to Joel Smallishbeans being made, read, or used as a coaster? Well then I’ve got good news for you! (Except you coaster people. Go buy one off of Etsy or something. Jeez.)
please fill out THIS interest form if you answered the above question with yes! If you answered with no, please kindly go back to making toast or putting on your socks or whatever it is people who aren’t Jeremys do. This may be the wrong blog for you.
If I’ve made a horrible mistake in the interest form, please kindly let me know so I can fix it and then lie awake thinking about it at night for the rest of my life.
If you have questions, I assure that I do too. Answers will come along as I figure out what the heck is going on.
I. Am in shock. They cannot keep getting away with this. /silly
Edit: whoops I accidentally drew Joel taller than Jimmy lol. Just imagine that Joel is just, idk, standing on a step stool or smthn out of frame, idk
I headcannon that Etho has traitorous ears
That mask is doing nuthin’ for him.
I dyed a green streak in my hair irl recently, inspired by nobody and nothing in particular for no reason whatsoever and certainly not because of any yelly bean man on the internet. Today someone told me it reminded them of shrek. Small victories.
a silly smalletho doodle I did. Idk what the context is, but it took me a really long time to get the anatomy reasonable, so I will not be taking criticism lol.
Joel meets Ethostrapod and Etho meets Snoel Snailishbeans. Joel is like ‘Grian said it was fine to touch other people’s snails!’ And Etho is like ‘Grian said it was fine to touch other people’s snails…’ lol he is in fear of the shrek snail. also in my heart of hearts I am a bug Joel truther and I choose to believe someone (Gem) compared him to his snail constantly. Like you know they were makin’ those ‘corporate needs you to find the difference between these two pictures -they’re the same picture’ memes about the snail - bean man duo back on Hermitcraft while the episode was running.
anyway I saw those snails and my first thought was that someone could make a killing on Etsy selling crocheted snail versions of people complete with pun names to the traffic fandom. Well actually my first thought was probably more along the lines of oh gosh what is that thing, but, you know, once I recovered from the shock I saw immediate business potential and can confirm I would spend all my money there. Also I really need little snailishbeans mementos to go broke buying and proudly plaster my room with lol (this entire paragraph is /silly)
@insomnya777 I’ve been seeing all the posts you’ve been making recently about a very specific duo. I have also seen your pfp. I have also seen the special little guy who is the overlap between these two things. So..
just for you I have drawn them. All three of them. The write adjective here polycule ever. The undeniably something, unclear what thing but completely undeniable. The award winners for most unhinged and simultaneously pathetic group of people to ever have extreme romantic tension with each other. The have (probably) never eaten an american hamburger squad. In other words, the family.
also I wanted to clarify because I was doing all those drawings of Gem and Joel as photos of the way brothers being chaotic that I don’t headcannon them as siblings I headcannon them as chaotic, which isn’t actually a headcannon because it’s already canon. Also have I been spelling headcannon wrong this whole time? lol.
anyway I tried to be all fancy shmancy with the anatomy and Etho’s face was lost in the process but I like how Joel came out looking though, so trade offs ig. Also idk why those arrows are there. Technology hates me. I blame, um, whatever did that.
I drew a thing. There is a very complicated and unintelligible headcannon that inspired it but tumblr said I was using too many words so I deleted it but trust me it was beautiful.
I don’t usually draw in this style but I wanted to practice anatomy and shading but tbh I hate it but I prefer it like that cause the other thing I’m working on is a drawing of Joel booping ethostrapod on the snoot and it is way less time and soul consuming but I’m way more proud of it and less work for more reward is rarely a good thing so when it is a good thing idk do a celebratory Macarena and have yourself an ice cream because life is short ice cream is delicious and being healthy is highly overrated.
alt versions under the cut because the hair came out to nicely to be covered up by all those eyeballs
I was rewatching Joel’s esmp 1 because I wanted to. So I did a little drawing.
That’s all! Just a silly doodle, I’ve decided that not every drawing I post has to be something special, sometimes it can just be something simple like this lol.
I’ve been having a really terrible week health wise so to cheer myself up I drew more of Gem and Joel as chaotic sibling energy photos of the Way brothers. Idk if this genre of fanart has an audience but tbh I don’t really care because I had fun drawing it lol. Also for context for non-MCR fans (psh imagine lol/silly /not serious) my chemical romance is a band, a really good band, and the lead singer and the bassist are brothers and also really silly and there are many photos of them sillying together. This is part two of my drawing Gem and Joel as some of said photos.
This is, admittedly, one of the less silly photos from my collection, but they are usually very silly trust! Og photo under cut vv
Imagine, for one glorious moment, across time and space and what is both plausible and possible, a crossover.
a drawing I did for the amazing @insomnya777’s super au Halloween special! This collab was super fun and I hope to do more in the future! ^^
Go to Nya’s blog to find the au and read the fic!! (I got a sneak peak and can attest that it is really good, go read it!!!!)
a quick silly doodle for Halloween!
i think they should play phasmophobia together. Also don’t ask what’s going on with Joel’s outfit I’ve got no clue lol. Also I forgot to color Etho’s other glove oh well. Happy Halloween!
doodles from Joel’s most recent gartic phone stream. I can confirm that this all happened, I promise I’m not making this up./gen. Joel smallishbeans, never change.
Boat boysers eating well today. I’m still in shock at the fact that he called Etho babe like okay Jimmy is gonna get jealous. Lizzie is probably chill though I think she’s learned to pick her battles and stopping her husband from queerbaiting the internet is always a losing one /silly. Also happy national haunted refrigerator night! I have no clue what that holiday is about nor what you are meant to do to celebrate, but I know it’s today, so I guess I wish you a fridge full of ghosts, or smthn. I’ve decided to make it my job to always know what national holiday it is because um don’t ask such silly questions. We always need more reasons to celebrate lol.
edit: also sorry for switching art styles every five minutes lol
I was planning to wait to see how long it took for Tumblr to show this to bluet but I’m very impatient.
@bluetbluish wouldn’t want you to think I’ve gone back on my word and not drawn them
also everyone make sure you go like and rebloob and comment on bluet’s drawing!!!! It’s amazing!!!!!!
(Also bluet I reblooged your drawing of them and there was a typo in my rebloob and it has been haunting me for the past forever. I know what the word um means I assure you I am simply mostly uninformed on the uk beyond whatever the British blorbos show in their videos. Just felt the need to clarify)
My drawing of Gem and Joel that I did for Bluet! We’ll see if she finds this teehee.
The pose is based off of one of the photos from my collection of Gerard and Mikey Way having chaotic sibling energy, because yes I will be making everything about MCR until the I-missed-their-concert blues wears off.
(Also bluet if you do find this I saw your post about collabs and I would love love love to collab again sometime but first I’ve got get the thirty wips I’ve got half finished done, dusted, and posted, plus this big project which may or may not happen)
OG photo beneath the cut
@insomnya777 so Nya I hear you’re writing a boat boys Halloween fic?
Idk why they are in the woods lol I just kinda started doodling by the time I got to the background. Also I tried to perspective, that is why we have tiny Etho, except he’s just farther away, so not tiny. Honestly, it was a struggle trying to get it looking like Etho dressing up as Kakashi and not just. You know. Kakashi. I think the makeup for the scar smeared on his mask is a nice touch. I also left his glasses from my design on, because I, too, know the pains of trying to cosplay in glasses. Anyway, all this is to say… I love your writing Nya and I can’t wait to read the fic rahhhh!
some frames I drew for a boat boys animatic that never was
I’m really proud of how these two specifically came out. The second one is a how they died each time in double life and the first is just em dancing.
edit: I also forgot this one:
Joel was there two but I accidentally deleted the layer I drew him on
I saw that in Joel’s latest wild life episode he
a) gave Etho a flower and asked him to join his family which *gets real close to the mic like Jimmy does* I have many thoughts on. They have been married now. Happily ever after amen as Joel says in double life.
b) built a car to live in so now he’s living in his car
and I know it was more of a race car than a van, but these two things in one episode have me one idea: smalletho van life. If Joel is going to be living in his car and him and Etho are, well, him and Etho. Then, Etho should also join Joel in his car, and this all just a ploy to convince someone anyone to write a smalletho van life because I think that would be funny. just two guys stuck in a car together at all hours who definitely don’t like each other, gem forced to share a living space. And of course they are weird and gay about it wouldn’t be them if they weren’t.
also I drew it but the van was pain and suffering to draw so no background:(
I looked up van and picked a random picture and it was a ram so I was required by law to change it to doc because doc owns all goat references.
Joelki B. Aka the real lore behind Joel’s bug antenna /silly
I’m tagging @risibledeer because if anyone will know what this is referencing I know she will
My drawing of Gem and Joel that I did for Bluet! We’ll see if she finds this teehee.
The pose is based off of one of the photos from my collection of Gerard and Mikey Way having chaotic sibling energy, because yes I will be making everything about MCR until the I-missed-their-concert blues wears off.
(Also bluet if you do find this I saw your post about collabs and I would love love love to collab again sometime but first I’ve got get the thirty wips I’ve got half finished done, dusted, and posted, plus this big project which may or may not happen)
OG photo beneath the cut
wishing everyone an extremely belated happy national dye your hair day! We’ve got all of our hair dye champ lifers celebrating the very serious and important holiday with a braid train except it’s actually a hair dye train.
Lizzie, just pick one and hop to it because Scott-with-his-roots-showing is deeply unsettling for unclear reasons. Also the reason Lizzie is dressed like that is because I headcannon that Joel got home from limited life and Lizzie was immediately like “the bad boys outfit is mine now btw”. Also Etho is paying literally zero attention to what’s going on. Also everyone currently getting dyed is wearing clothes they don’t care about as much or a towel to keep the dye from staining anything except for Joel because he can’t be bothered to change. Btw I know I’ve been falling off my bug Joel and glasses Etho game but im back, baby!
in other news I wasn’t able to go to the concert My Chem did cause it was on the literal other side of the country from me and I’m really sad like im gonna be whining about this for forever.
omg no way me too! Ahh the joys of being AFAB.
Anyway ur sona’s real pretty op, ‘twas fun to draw.
(Also guys the reason I’m all decked in MCR merch is because they are doing a concert soon and I can’t go and this is how I’m coping)
projecting my period cramps onto joel smallishbeans.
I’ve been in the art block trenches y’all, so if my last two piece for Joel week ever get done then it’ll probably be a while from now so in the meantime here’s some sketchbook brainstorming I did a while ago for them
I drew these a while ago and I think the internet really needs to see
I drew Joel and then couldn’t decide who I wanted to draw him with so I drew both. Also no they aren’t floating there was a background but it was bad but I promise there is a chair there it’s just, invisible, ig.
also in other news I’m having a real bad day so um I’m taking a page out of Joel’s-guide-to-convincing-people-to-like-you specifically the one about guilt tripping; please leave comments and nice tags in reblogs on this or any of my stuff guys I’m so so tired and I feel not good, bad even, and I spend so long on these drawings for a couple likes and a few tagless reblogs and like if you write comments and put nice things in the tags you know I read it right? Like it genuinely makes my day and like even if you really loved my artwork and you rarely hand out likes but made an exception or something I don’t know that unless you tell me please tell me if you like my stuff I’m feelin’ real low. And also send in asks. Please I beg of thee. Art reqs are wide open. They are pulling you in like Charybdis or whatever that vortex monster thing was called. It’s like commissions except I don’t charge anything. Please I’m running so low on ideas.
I wanted to do something for Halloween, because I freakin’ love Halloween.
so I drew my favorite guy bein’ all scary.
Now he and Etho will match forever <3
guys do Halloween stuff I need to see the hype everywhere come on it’s like the internet collectively forgot about October 31 like where are are all my cringy diy decorations and soul destroying body horror art and drawings of every one’s favs in silly costumes and ao3 one shots of characters doing Halloween stuff and/or being horribly tortured in the name of the spooky season? Like the actual day isn’t half as fun as the lead up to it!
Also I’ve been kinda feeling like I’ve been spewing art out into the void here so like just so ya know comments and asks actually make my day. Thanks!
Here’s a pun I find funny:
do you occupy space and possess mass? You matter! Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then, you energy.
number 3 on my wip finishing to-do list: that one pixel art I’ve had half done for far too long
Pivotal smalletho moment^
Thank you /@ethosiab for explaining how to use a pixel art resizer, it is now not bug sized or blurificated, so I take that as a win!
also I think it may be a sign of a problem that I’m now at the point where I can draw the relation from memory.
sketchbooking!!!! Just some doodles ‘n stuff.
These are drawings of: I-fell-victim-to-the-creaking-Etho-propaganda, random drawings of Joel, Bdubs being his wonderful self (I drew the bdubs and the Joels on the same day and was apparently not feeling particularly creative with outfits), wild life Martyn just trying to read the enchanter book while he’s being screamed at by Mr. and Mr. Paranoid in Formal Wear, and a painting of Joel experiencing joy and whimsy that I am *extremely* proud of.
in other news I’m currently playing 3-d chess with the art block demons so post might slow down but on my list of things the should get done and dusted hopefully soon:
My last two pieces for 7 holy nights of Jeremy (I promise I’m working on them guys I just need more time!!)
Some more mtg au art of our favorite kamigawan planeswalkers
a pixel art piece that has been sitting half finished for way too long
a surprise thing that I’m excited for that may or may not happen so don’t take my word for it
more MCR x the life series drawings (I’ve been calling it project Minecraft Romance in my head because My Chemical and Minecraft have the same initials and also it’s really stupid and I crack up every time I think about it)
more traditional art
maybe some writing?????? (Don’t get your hopes up though this is like a maybe maybe maybe)
other stuff I forgot
my Undertale brainrot came back from the dead to punch me in the face again so maybe some stuff about that.
If you guys have any art requests I will happily take them please send me ammunition for my battle with art block!
more mtg au stuff!!!!! I was thinking about what everyone would look like if I put them on a different plane than I originally intended (for non-magic-players: plane refers to, like, a plane of existence. Every plane in the magic the gathering multiverse is like it’s own little world with stories and characters and completely different setting. It’s pretty rad) and I’ve been listened to the soundtrack for the streets of New Capenna non-stop recently so I decided everyone needed to join the various demon mafia. Because I’m just. Like that. I suppose.
This is Joel’s design, and it’s the one finished piece I have, because of course. His design is inspired by anhelo, and that’s halo on his face, which is technically-the-blood-of-angels but we don’t talk about that.
This one’s Etho and it isn’t finished but I just got bored working on it honestly.
this is scar and gem. It says join us because that the song from the soundtrack that fits them. Also they want to recruit you to their demon mafia gang family thing.
in this version of the au (which I’m not sure if it counts as it’s own separate au or not lol) I currently have figured out Joel, Tango, Grian Pearl, Martyn, Scott, Etho, Cleo, Scar, and Gem
summary of the lore of Capenna below the cut unless it cuts me off earlier because I’m too rambly lol
the phyrexians, a race of machine monsters bent on conquering the multiverse that would take several hours to properly summarize the lore of so let’s just say they are bad, are attacking the plane of Capenna, so the arch-angels and arch-demons, fearing destruction, team up to create the city of New Capenna (wow guys such a creative name) with the help of the dragon Ziatora. The population of old Capenna (as in, everyone living on Capenna) journeys to the new city, those who make it onto the elevators surviving and the rest locked out as the city is sealed against phyrexians, left to die. Thus, the entire population of the plane now is in New Capenna. However, the demons and angels who build the city are worried because all it would take is for one phyrexian to make it into the city for it too infect everyone else. The demons took note of how the mere presence of the angels drove of the mechanical army, so they decided to betray the angels and capture them to turn them into a barrier surrounding the city. Because they were evenly matched in power, the demons had to sacrifice themselves to capture the angels, so they signed a contract with five powerful beings as their successors, making the individuals more powerful but also amplifying their vices, to lead the city in their stead. They then launched the attack, imprisoning the angels before vanishing, never to be seen again. The angels are trapped at various points along the edge of the city to form a barrier against the phyrexians. A side affects of this imprisonment sees the angels physical bodies being slowly converted into halo, the fuel of the new age. It makes magical spells more powerful, aids in teleportation, is used as currency, and…I’m not gonna lie guys, it’s drugs. It’s magical angel blood drugs. That is the function it serves. Moving on! The five beings who signed the contracts with the arch-demons were the dragon Ziatora (same one who helped build the city), the sphinx Raffine, the cat demon Jetmir, the vampire Anhelo, and the bird demon Falco Spara. The five found what are essentially demon mafia families. Ziatora runs the Riveteers, the hardworking destructive family, where every member needs to constantly prove their worth. The Riveteers have the largest stockpile of Halo because they helped build the city. Raffine runs the Obscura, mystical fortune tellers and prophets. They can predict the future and stuff. Jetmir runs the Cabaretti, the party-ers of New Capenna. They run the festivals and restaurants and do all the fun stuff. Also chef Rocco appreciation enby icon cabaretti chef and fabulous all around. anhelo runs the Maestros, the elite assassins of New Capenna. A bunch of them are also vampires so they’ve got this whole immortality thing going for them. They are also art collectors. Because you gotta have hobbies, ig. Falco Spara runs the Brokers, a mafia family of demonic lawyers. Yayyyy!/sarc. Anyway because this is getting long I’ll skip ahead so when the last free angel in the city dies that releases the arch-angels, but the families and the angels are forced to temporarily cooperate to fend off the phrexian invasion as they finally manage to infiltrate the city with the release of the angels. Yada yada yada, a bunch of stuff gets destroyed, a bunch of people die, and then they win and the angels go and kill the remaining demons as revenge. Hurrah, we made it! That was your super quick crash course on the history of New Capenna!
fanart of @insomnya777’s fabulous fic!!!!!!! Go read it!!!!!!! (Is it okey that I linked it? Cause if that’s a problem I can remove the link)
I don’t actually know much about Sabrina carpenter so all I had to go off of for Joel’s outfit was “the pink one” lol and I’m lazy so I was just like screw it I’ll just make him, like, Eye wateringly pink. And then my internet went out halfway through drawing this because apparently the universe doesn’t appreciate fine art when it sees it so I just had to go off of what I remembered, so apologies if it’s inaccurate. Also it was so fun reading it for the first time, getting to the headcannons at the end, and then going back and reading it a second time and giggling the whole time like “teehee they’re gonna get married one day” lol.
also I just know that Etho is this au is the most infuriatingly oblivious person ever, like he’s sobbing to Gem “I think I’m in love with him but he could never possibly love me back!!!!!” And Gem has to be like “Etho. Before he had even met you he called you his future husband live onstage and dedicated a song that’s about a bit more than love to you. He then asked you out to dinner, made sure you were single, and asked for your number. He likes you.” And Ethos like “nooooo but he was just joking!”