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Okay, i'm sorry for all the Christmas movies i've seen in my life, but Klaus kicked you outta my list
Part 1 - Purple Heart Event (most of the latter half of the event)
Learning numbers with Jesper and Márgu
The jesper's sons
Hace algún tiempo hice un sketch de jesper basándome en un traje que vi por Pinterest de una drag, fue entonces cuando tuve la brillante idea de dibujarlo con ese traje, ya que en la película, su padre le dijo que el no iría a galas y en mi mente me imagine como jesper tenía un cuerpo tan delgado que podía desfilar como diva empoderada zy. (no me maten pls)
The Umbrella Academy Season 4 (Deleted Scene)
When Allison comes into the kitchen for her morning coffee, she notices a group of little paper bags lined up on the table. Each of them has a number written with black magic marker, reminding her of the way Grace used to pack their lunches.
These are about a third the size of a lunch bag and decorated with little ghosts and things. Allison suddenly remembers the date, October 31st.
Halloween treat bags. How adorable!
Halloween wasn’t the same without Claire, of course, but maybe a little Halloween treat might help to dull the pain.
She opens bag number three. It’s gummy bears. Her favorite. She crams a small handful into her mouth, then sits down to check the news and relax with some toast and coffee.
Diego comes in and gestures towards the bags. “These from mom?”
“I guess so.”
Diego looks into his bag and smiles.
Keep reading
Klaus: If your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
Diego: I'm gonna be cremated so imagine a cloud of bones flying over the battlefield
Klaus: Oo metal
Viktor: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that sounds nice and cozy, but if you invite someone to your cabin in the woods, they're going to die.
Five: Yes, it's called "connotation".
Allison: My personal favorite is butt dial vs booty call.
Klaus: Mine is "forgive me, Father, for I have sinned" vs "sorry, Daddy, I've been naughty".
Luther: Great news! Language is now cancelled!
Klaus: Do you ever feel like there’s bugs crawling all over you when there’s nothing there?
Viktor: That’s the ghosts of all the bugs you’ve killed.
Klaus: ...
Five: Viktor, quit traumatizing Klaus.
Klaus: I wasn’t that drunk.
Viktor: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.
Klaus: BECAUSE YOU ARE!
Klaus : In my defense, I simply don’t vibe with the law.
Klaus: Be gay, do crimes is all well and good, but one can also be queer, instill fear
Viktor: you forgot be trans, throw hands
Diego: be bi, go for the eye
Five: Be ace, punch face
Luther, the struggling token straight™️:…I’m scared of you all
Klaus: Hate crimes? Hmmm no I love them
The chaotic energy behind Klaus's "we played catch!" is giving me new life. Klaus, you died.
So apparently there's this script for a tua season 1 episode that never got made. It's about their 23th birthday.
You guys.
A couple of things that stand out:
- That cross stitch Diego had in the boiler room that was so obviously a gift from Grace was a gift for his 23th birthday.
- Also, Diego went every week to visit his mom. I'm crying
- Klaus was in jail at this time, and he accidentally killed a guy in self defense.
- Allison is there but we just see her struggling not to use her powers on every day issues.
- Also apparently Patrick was her acting coach.
- She needed it.
- Luther was pathetic and I want to cry for him bc I love him so much but God was he dumb. Also the Accident happened the day after his birthday.
- Viktor had a girlfriend, who looked so sweet at first but then he found out she was cheating on him. On his birthday. Ouch.
- Five flirted with a woman named Delores in a 1940s (I think) bar, and it was so sweet and heartbreaking. He got a little kiss for dancing with her. It was great. Get it, old man.
- Five traveled to 2012 for the commission, saw Diego leave the academy, and couldn't stop himself from shouting his brother's name. I am HEARTBROKEN
- The Handler stopped him before Diego could see him, and also we have confirmation that the Handler was fucking creepy. She kissed Five after proclaiming he was hers. Five stands still and closes his eyes. I'm... feeling things. Mostly homicidal rage.
- Viktor visits Klaus in jail, which develops into the best conversation I've ever read.
- They talk about Viktor's book. Klaus is very supportive. Reading the whole script is worth it just to read that conversation JESUS CHRIST:
- Apparently, Grace announced one day at the dinner table that Diego had had his first wet dream.
- Klaus asks Viktor if he had added that lovely little anecdote into the book.
- Viktor responded with an: yeah, I did.
- Christ almighty I know understand why Diego was so fucking angry VIKTOR HARGREEVES YOU HAVE ZERO CHILL.
- Okay seriously overall that conversation is very sweet. Best klaus-viktor interaction. 10/10
- Also I find hilarious that Regginald tried to call them all separately but obviously no one picked up, so his next thought was: "well. Better start planning my own funeral".
- The quip Klaus made in the Void when he asked Reginald "couldn't you just have called?" Is a thousand times funnier knowing that the bastard DID call, but Klaus missed it bc he was in jail.
That is all for tonight lovelies, this was heartbreaking to read but overall amazing, I recommend you read it, here is the link
Five: No drinking, no gambling, no premarital sex. Klaus, they basically just outlawed 90% of your personality
Klaus: We need to leave
reginald lied to klaus about his death in 3x07. in 3x06, when klaus comes to visit him, it’s a day; it’s still a day when reginald electrocutes him to death:
it’s night, when allison comes to the academy with harlan’s body in the trunk (and there’s also klaus’ body somewhere in the academy):
and it seems only the NEXT DAY reginald takes klaus out for training. in 3x07, reginald tells klaus he remained dead for 22 minutes. so, klaus probably thinks it’s still the day when he told reginald about the white buffalo suite; the last thing he remembers is being electrocuted. reginald also adds that klaus was totally vulnerable, and he could’ve taken any of his organs. klaus is shocked, because why good ol’ reggie would do that, right?
the training starts at 1:15 p.m., reginald writes it down. logically, klaus’ 22-minute-long death should be listed as 001, but:
it’s 004. 22 minutes - lower body (something something), and LACERATION? before that, 003 - failure (?).
between klaus’ FIRST electrocution and the bus-ball training, reginald had killed him not one, but four (FOUR!) times. and, most likely he did indeed try to cut him/cut out his organs (?) to check on how/if his dead body can heal itself. spoiler alert: klaus CAN HEAL HIMSELF even when he’s dead. later, we can see it in 3x09 when he comes back to life when the wound on his stomach has ALREADY healed. (so no one could steal his falling out guts, right? reginald knew. old bitch fucking knew).
so, i think reginald kept electrocuting klaus all night between 3x06-3x07 (with the method reginald chose, it could probably mess up klaus’ memories? he literally doesn’t remember shit except for being electrocuted one last time?) until he made sure that: a) klaus comes back fairly quick now (attempt 003 says 26 minutes, not bad, not bad!) and b) his body heals from any injuries so haha getting crashed with a car is not a big deal.
klaus has this habit of searching for answers and purpose in the same place he lost them. his autonomy was stolen from him as a child, and he lives with that loss every day. it’s quite common for people with that experience to live with dissociative symptoms, and i actually think klaus is a realistic portrayal of that. while it’s never outright said that it’s dissociation he deals with, i think a lot of survivors could probably see it in him. he’s always seemed to feel a disconnect with himself, with his own body (for example – and this is a small one – when he told ben “you’re not getting in this body,” rather than my body). his identity is something transient, something that shifts drastically sometimes depending on the situation he’s in, which is a common experience in people with dissociative symptoms – we’re like “chameleons.”
he forgets key things regarding his trauma: that, or his brain will twist the events to make them more palatable to himself. he didn’t remember being killed as a child, even though it happened multiple times. and despite not remembering anything, he still has visceral reactions when it comes to being confined. he may not consciously remember every event, but his body does, and so he reacts accordingly, as if the threat of being killed again were a present one. because the body remembers the loss of control, it remembers the autonomy that was once stolen. then there’s “bus ball.” obviously, it was an objectively shitty, terrifying thing, being once again murdered, multiple times by your own father and abuser – and as an experiment, no less. despite that, the events were portrayed as something that was for the most part fun, almost. and when he vaguely recounted said events later on, he referred to it as “bus ball.” like it really was nothing more than a game. that’s another common dissociative symptom, and a common trauma symptom: being so disconnected on a certain level from your own trauma that you’re able to talk about it like it’s nothing. that you’re able to remember a skewed version of it so that you don’t have to internalize any of the real terror.
touch is another one. klaus is a very tactile person. he communicates well through touch. but he often doesn’t like being touched, unless it’s from someone he knows, loves and trusts.
he startles easily, too. will jump back at sudden movements or words, gets frightened by loud noises and will cover his ears.
his need for connection is relevant here, too. he has a hard time being alone with himself, and so he finds people to cling to, or finds people that will cling to him, just to stave off those feelings and to ground himself, almost. sometimes it spirals out of control, like with the cult. but his constant need for connection stems from feeling disconnected.
one of his passing comments to luther in s1 (”I remember my first time… oh no. i don’t”) hits hard, too. it’s not uncommon for trauma victims to experience hypersexuality as a result of this loss of autonomy. and then, to not even remember some of these encounters (obviously, the drugs/alcohol likely play a role in this not remembering. but hey, what’s addiction often a symptom of? oh yeah. trauma.)
this disconnect he feels from his own body is also why he was able to have certain encounters even with people he didn’t like. keechie comes to mind. he didn’t like keechie, that was made clear. but it sounds like he still had no problem having sex with him, despite this. it’s common, when you have dissociative symptoms, to feel this sort of disconnect. you don’t always care what happens to a body that doesn’t feel like yours, hell, you can enjoy it, sometimes – even if you don’t like the person you’re doing it with.
it’s why he gets off on torture, too. klaus being a masochist was clearly portrayed in episode four, but then was referenced again two other times. (”if i see a boner, i’m out” when he was being tied up, and, “i’m going to beat you, and not the way you like it.”) when you grow up tortured and become accustomed to it it’s easy for the brain to say “hey, this is unbearable so actually we like this thing now. that’ll make it bearable!” i mean, obviously it’s a little more complicated than that, but that’s the gist of the situation.
you often find comfort – or even pleasure – in familiarity, even when familiarity isn’t safe. we see that in klaus.
and that leads me back to my main point: klaus searches for answers, he searches for purpose in the same places he lost them. if he can give up his body to anyone who will take it, then maybe he can take back autonomy, is what he might think. if he can have a say in his own destruction, whether it’s addiction or reckless behavior, then maybe he can take back control.
but that’s never truly how it plays out. a trauma survivor will never find what they’re looking for this way. i believe that klaus is starting to realize this, even if he does run into setbacks, and even though he will continue to run into setbacks. if he wants to find control, and if he wants to find purpose, he will have to reroute that energy into a path of recovery rather than destruction. it’s a hard hill to climb, but we know he can do it.
i could say more about this, but i think this says enough, for now.
I rewatched S1 and S2 of The Umbrella Academy for the tenth time, and I decided to keep track of how many times the characters said certain words
Klaus telling Diego he "barely got out with his life" when Hazel and Cha-Cha tortured him back in S1 but now we know he probably actually did die a couple of times in the process and just CAME BACK TO LIFE WITHOUT EVEN REALISING ?? Klaus ?? 😭😭
Have you ever felt like there's something you're supposed to be doing, something important, but no one's telling you what it is, and you're scared that youre gonna miss out or... or.. mess it up because you're always screwin' things up, and you're really fuckin tired of it!
ive never felt a monologue so closely in my entire life
which isn’t that much money
The Umbrella Academy S3 + Text Posts Part 1
It’s so funny to me that the majority of the fandom is like brung back Dave bring back Dave! And Cody is sat in the corner like yes please I would indeed like them to bring back Dave like we have collectively decided to demand for him to reprise his roll and get paid lmao he’s probs sat there like :)
Can you imagine if your employer was like ‘you’ve done really good but unfortunately we don’t have space for you right now but it’s been fun working with ya :)”
And hundreds of people just went “make space” lmao it would be so uplifting
On Instagram @cleverklaus Cody is doing a Q&A and he just said the best bit about working on TUA is the fans
I start college tommorow and I strive to be as conversational as Klaus Hargreeves but unfortunately that will never happen
I know that people say that the siblings leave klaus out of the loop about stuff like murderous Swedish men out to kill them but I think we all forget that klaus literally decided not to mention the fact that he MET GOD to his siblings
Diego: How can you be so sure that a god exists though
Dave: Klaus has literally met her
Diego: okay haha but for real
Dave: ...