Lucas Till - Blog Posts

Cannot believe that I almost skipped watching dark hearts. It was a little unsettling, but damn, Lucas’s acting - especially in this scene, with the way he goes from hurting + scared to distant + terrified. You don’t even need to see the flashback to know that that’s what’s happening, and this is seconds before we even find out about the abuse that Sam and Colson suffered at the hands of their father. Brilliant work as always.

Dark Hearts (2014)

I rewatched Bravetown recently and noticed that the first time I watched it, I projected really hard onto Josh because of my own Mama Trauma™ lmao. watching it again with a clearer perspective made me realize that

1: it was weird how pushy Josh was about Mary's and Alex's issues. like, boy, you just got to town? you just met these people? curiosity is a bitch, and I wouldn't be surprised if he was grasping for problems to focus on other than his own, but geez louise.

2: I would've reacted way worse than Mary did if someone kept pressing me about my traumatic experiences and mental health, so I take back what I said about her being bitchy at least most of the way. I do still think that the way she acted towards Josh before he started prodding her was uncalled for, and I get where she was coming from with how she felt about her mom, but I think her treatment of Annie went too far sometimes. Everything else made sense though.

I do still stand by what I said about Josh being pushed to the side in his own movie. Even with my improved perspective on Josh and Mary's characters, I would've preferred for Mary's story to not have been so central. But I do have a new appreciation for her that makes watching the movie even more enjoyable now.

soooo… since no one replied or messaged me with an all caps text saying “NO DON’T DO THAT!!!!!” and none of my ancestors have come down from the sky to make me stop, I’m gonna assume it’s okay for me to use whatever pics/gifs I need to as long as I make sure to credit the source in-post. cool? cool. moving on!

I’m gonna talk about Bravetown for a minute. I watched this for the first time when I was having a really bad day, and it quickly became my go-to comfort movie. Lucas does such a good job, and as a victim of abuse myself, I was able to connect with his character Josh in a way that I don’t often do. and the rest of the cast was absolutely amazing! looking at the limited tumblr content for Bravetown, I saw a lot of praise for Josh Duhamel? the actor that plays Alex? I’ll have to check out some more of his work sometime.

I do have to say, though, that I wish they’d done things a bit differently. this isn’t really the kind of movie to get a sequel or a tv show, so there’s a lot of stuff that was left unexplored. I agree wholeheartedly with @teamimprov’s post about it as well (I would link it but I have no earthly clue how, so sorry) – Josh did kind of end up seeming like a side character in his own movie. it started being more about Mary and her family’s problems than about Josh, and while I was glad to see Mary find some closure, it felt like it came at the expense of Josh’s development. and at the expense of further angst, which is a crime that cannot be forgiven. I thrive on angst.

list of things I loved + things I wanted below the cut

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In my Alex Summers feels tonight. Thinking about how when Sean said “he’s not going back to prison” after Darwin’s death, Alex barely reacted.

I wonder if Alex had already assumed that he’d be going back to prison if the whole mutant-CIA-team thing didn’t work out? I wonder how that affected the way he interacted with the others.

He got recruited out of prison by a government organization. The CIA basically owned him - they controlled his freedom, and now they knew he was a mutant, too. They could’ve done anything they wanted to him. Unless there was a really good conversation on the way from the prison to the compound, Alex had no reason to think that Charles or Erik or Moira would defend him from that.

And he gets put in a room full of other mutants, mostly around his age, recruited from their jobs or their homes, and they’re all having fun. I wonder if he felt bitter?

2x12 & 2x21

both gifs belong to @geminihurt​ 

ngl, when I watched wolves for the first time and I got to that barn scene where Cayden meets Connor for the first time, I was 100% down and ready to write 23 different enemies-to-lovers fics of varying lengths - and then I find out that this man is Cayden’s bio dad? the affront I felt in my soul. they really gave this boy a sexually tense scene with his father, the fuck.

this is the one I mentioned in my last post! couldn’t have worded it better myself.

Bravetown thoughts…

I really like the movie Bravetown, I think Lucas Till did really well in it as well as everyone else. I like that his character Josh goes from ‘nobody has ever done anything for me so why should I do anything for anyone else’ to helping literally everybody in the town but I’ve had a problem with the ending since I first saw the movie about a year ago. I feel like at the end every other character gets to deal with their problems and find closure except Josh - the main character. Maybe the closure for him was supposed to be found through helping others but there were still so many negative aspects of his life that he never got to deal with. We never really got to see anyone help him through anything, not without it really being about the town problems. He helps the town heal from their collective losses and then the movie ends immediately. It just feels like they built up so much angst for his character, and there was so much potential, but then they never followed through. I’m just curious if anyone else felt that way too?

soooo… since no one replied or messaged me with an all caps text saying “NO DON’T DO THAT!!!!!” and none of my ancestors have come down from the sky to make me stop, I’m gonna assume it’s okay for me to use whatever pics/gifs I need to as long as I make sure to credit the source in-post. cool? cool. moving on!

I’m gonna talk about Bravetown for a minute. I watched this for the first time when I was having a really bad day, and it quickly became my go-to comfort movie. Lucas does such a good job, and as a victim of abuse myself, I was able to connect with his character Josh in a way that I don’t often do. and the rest of the cast was absolutely amazing! looking at the limited tumblr content for Bravetown, I saw a lot of praise for Josh Duhamel? the actor that plays Alex? I’ll have to check out some more of his work sometime.

I do have to say, though, that I wish they’d done things a bit differently. this isn’t really the kind of movie to get a sequel or a tv show, so there’s a lot of stuff that was left unexplored. I agree wholeheartedly with @teamimprov’s post about it as well (I would link it but I have no earthly clue how, so sorry) – Josh did kind of end up seeming like a side character in his own movie. it started being more about Mary and her family’s problems than about Josh, and while I was glad to see Mary find some closure, it felt like it came at the expense of Josh’s development. and at the expense of further angst, which is a crime that cannot be forgiven. I thrive on angst.

list of things I loved + things I wanted below the cut

things I loved:

that last counselling session when Alex and Josh talk about Martha. the acting in this scene is incredible, and I nearly cried the first four times I watched it. made me feel really sad for poor smol child Josh.

all of the patriots’ dance performances were!!! so good!!! and the remixes, all the music, fuckin bless.

the fuCKING JEANS. FUCKING BRAVETOWN FOR MAKING ME FEEL SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL OVER A FUCKING PAIR OF JEANS DAMMIT-

Josh and Tony’s friendship? the purest. adorable. amazing.

that scene where Angie squeals and hugs Josh makes my heart and soul do loopty-loops. first because of Angie being so damn cute (and the height difference!!!), then because when Josh walked in on Mary and Angie arguing he closed off and left, but Angie opened up to him and he gave her a soft lil smile and said he’d help and he got a hug and aghhhhhh they’re both such adorable babies-

“I sure would like to come and see you guys.”   “then come.”   !!!  just!!!

Alex and his genius ways of getting Josh to open up to him. the soccer and pizza to make the sessions feel less like a court-order and more like two people just hanging out, swearing and getting mad at the tv to get Josh to see him as just some weird dude, telling stories about himself to relate to Josh and make Josh feel less pressure. maybe I’m reading too much into it, but c’mon. we’ve seen this guy do serious and professional. he’s perfectly capable of doing serious and professional. but he doesn’t with Josh, and I think it’s not only intentional, but really considerate. and oh my holy hell, the “why would I be there for anybody else” conversation. agreeing and then talking Josh around himself to come to the conclusion that he’s not as selfish as he wants everybody to believe – an absolute Einstein move, good sir. hats off to you.

Tony. that is all.

Josh being so sweet and gentle with Annie – talking to her quietly, asking to see the photos, laughing and giving feedback. this boy thinks he’s tough shit. he’s a fluffy adorable puppy and he doesn’t fool me. I have so much to say about soft!Josh.

things I would’ve loved to see:

the dance team’s relationship with Josh outside of his music. something I noticed in the movie was that – other than Tony, Annie, and Michael – no one had a relationship with Josh that wasn’t founded on responsibility (Alex, Josh’s parents) or Josh’s music and what he could do for them (the dance team, his “friends” in NYC). that isn’t to say that they didn’t want a relationship with him, but it wasn’t really shown that they did except in the case of Jim and maybe Mary. I think that Josh and Angie would’ve been an especially good friendship.

more relationship development between Josh and Jim. Jim seemed to honestly want to have a good relationship with Josh, and the morning of the invitational, Josh seemed to be willing to try too. can I please just have the two of them doing father-son stuff? please?

Alex being a big brother/weird uncle figure to Josh. I beg thee.

that being said, it would be very, very nice to see someone other than Alex learning about Josh’s trauma and being supportive. Josh and Mary’s argument doesn’t count. at all. speaking of…

Mary was a little bit of a bitch to Josh for the majority of the movie, and Josh was the only one I saw say sorry for anything. granted, what he said sorry for wasn’t even his fault, and he definitely should’ve apologized for the parts he played in their arguments, but at least he seemed to actually be apologetic. it also only felt like he was the only one putting any effort into their relationship, so it’d be nice to see Mary seem interested in him outside of the dance competitions and the couple times she said she was glad he was there/didn’t want him to leave. and yes, I understand that she was going through a really rough time in a difficult situation, but that’s an explanation, not an excuse.

Mary and her family going to Robert’s grave. maybe with Alex and Josh, but at all would’ve been cool. I get that baby steps are a big thing with Annie, but Tony lost Robert too. that kid does not get enough appreciation or support, and he deserved closure alongside Mary and Alex at the tree.

obviously I understand that movies can only be so long and can only show so much. but that’s the downside to a great movie – people want more of it. the deleted scenes were great, too. extra canon, yes please. I’m fairly certain today was at least the fifteenth time I’ve watched Bravetown. first time I watched it was in December, and geez if that doesn’t seem like forever ago.

dark hearts is available for free on amazon prime, as long as you’re chill with a shit-ton of ads every ten to twenty minutes - which i was not, so i didn’t end up watching it all the way through. w&r and all superheroes must die are both available on youtube; i watched w&r on jason trost’s channel, and if you look all superheroes must die up it should be one of the first options available.

so what started out as me watching a dumb science-y spy show turned into me slowly making my way through the list of lucas till movies/shows… and he’s gotta be one of the best distress actors i’ve ever seen. i mean, he’s an incredible actor to begin with, but he just-

-does that?! you can see the shock and horror in his eyes, and that tear and the blood on his face, and the little sob he lets out when he first sees the bodies - it all seems so real, and it’s amazing that there are people who can do that.

i’ve watched wolves, obviously, and i’ve also seen crush, bravetown, the x-men movies, and i’ve kinda-sorta watched dark hearts and sins of our youth? those last two were very disquieting and i share my amazon prime account with my sister, my parents, and my grandma, so i didn’t really want them to know i was looking at them. dark hearts i want to actually watch - i wasn’t all that interested in sins of our youth to begin with - but i don’t think i will unless i can find somewhere that i don’t share with my very judgmental grandmother and that doesn’t have 150 seconds of ads every fifteen minutes :)

and then! through the talented mr. till, i found jason trost, and !!!  i love his movies! they’re so unconventional and have so much personality, and if i had money i’d abso-fucking-lutely donate to his projects. i wish vacation 8 and where it never rains had been finished, i’d kill to see them. but i have seen wet and reckless and all superheroes must die, and holy fuckin hell they were great. i’ll keep the fact that i watched w&r secret and take it to my grave, at least from my family, but i rewatch both of these movies all the time.

i’m definitely going to be talking a lot more about these shows, but also if anyone knows where to watch monster trucks, kristy, the disappointments room, the curse of downers grove, paranoia, and/or son of the south, i’d be forever grateful if you shared.

additionally, i’m certainly not new to tumblr itself, but i’m obviously very new to posting on tumblr. and for the other posts i’ve been thinking on, i need to know the etiquette of photo/gif sharing. i already know i need to credit the person who i got the photos and/or gifs from, i wouldn’t dream of doing otherwise. but am i supposed to ask before i post? do i tag them in the post, give them the credit, and be done with it? does it vary from user to user? i feel really awkward asking and don’t expect much feedback, but i’d prefer to know these things before i start posting so that i don’t hurt anyone’s feelings or offend them by seeming like i’m taking their work as free real estate.

(the above photo from wolves i screenshotted myself, which is the only reason i used it before i asked for help)

so what started out as me watching a dumb science-y spy show turned into me slowly making my way through the list of lucas till movies/shows... and he’s gotta be one of the best distress actors i've ever seen. i mean, he’s an incredible actor to begin with, but he just-

-does that?! you can see the shock and horror in his eyes, and that tear and the blood on his face, and the little sob he lets out when he first sees the bodies - it all seems so real, and it’s amazing that there are people who can do that.

i've watched wolves, obviously, and i've also seen crush, bravetown, the x-men movies, and i've kinda-sorta watched dark hearts and sins of our youth? those last two were very disquieting and i share my amazon prime account with my sister, my parents, and my grandma, so i didn’t really want them to know i was looking at them. dark hearts i want to actually watch - i wasn’t all that interested in sins of our youth to begin with - but i don’t think i will unless i can find somewhere that i don’t share with my very judgmental grandmother and that doesn’t have 150 seconds of ads every fifteen minutes :)

and then! through the talented mr. till, i found jason trost, and !!!  i love his movies! they’re so unconventional and have so much personality, and if i had money i’d abso-fucking-lutely donate to his projects. i wish vacation 8 and where it never rains had been finished, i’d kill to see them. but i have seen wet and reckless and all superheroes must die, and holy fuckin hell they were great. i'll keep the fact that i watched w&r secret and take it to my grave, at least from my family, but i rewatch both of these movies all the time.

i'm definitely going to be talking a lot more about these shows, but also if anyone knows where to watch monster trucks, kristy, the disappointments room, the curse of downers grove, paranoia, and/or son of the south, i'd be forever grateful if you shared.

additionally, i'm certainly not new to tumblr itself, but i'm obviously very new to posting on tumblr. and for the other posts i've been thinking on, i need to know the etiquette of photo/gif sharing. i already know i need to credit the person who i got the photos and/or gifs from, i wouldn’t dream of doing otherwise. but am i supposed to ask before i post? do i tag them in the post, give them the credit, and be done with it? does it vary from user to user? i feel really awkward asking and don’t expect much feedback, but i'd prefer to know these things before i start posting so that i don’t hurt anyone’s feelings or offend them by seeming like i'm taking their work as free real estate.

(the above photo from wolves i screenshotted myself, which is the only reason i used it before i asked for help)

Good 4 You|| Alex Summers 

Hello my loves! I am so sorry that it took so long to get this part out! School has been kicking my ass but I hope you enjoy it! Also if you haven't I would read Brutal, 1 Step Forward 3 Steps Back, and Enough For You, but without further ado here is part 4 to my Alex Summers Imagines series! <3

-VoidRanboo

..................

After I packed my bag and placed it in my car I went to tell Charles that I was leaving but Alex and Juilet were in there with him. 

Well good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

“Hello Hadleigh! Feeling better?’’ Charles asked as I walked into his office. 

“Yeah, that drive did help me a lot, so much in fact that I realized I can’t stay here anymore. I’ve already packed a bag and put it in my car. I was just coming back to tell you, Raven, and Erik.’’ I said, giving him a smile. 

“Well you always have a home here.’’ He said giving me a hug. 

“Thank you and I will always remember that, but it doesn’t exactly feel like home now.’’ I said, glancing at Alex and Juilet. 

You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks

“I know the feeling.’’ He said, giving my hand a squeeze. 

“Well I am going to find Raven and Erik. Thank you for everything.’’ 

I walked out of his office, but I could hear another pair of footsteps. 

“Hadleigh will you just slow down.’’ I heard Alex say. 

You're doing great out there without me, baby

“I have nothing to say to you and you now hold no power over me. Nothing you say is going to make me stay.’’ I said, not even turning around. 

He quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me into an empty classroom. I tried to leave, but he stood in front of the door. 

“What happened to you?’’ He asked. 

“Heartbreak. That’s what happened to me.’’ I snapped. 

“Hadleigh, stop being like this.’’ He huffed out. 

“Like what? All I did was realize that I need to stop feeling sorry for myself because it was getting me nowhere.’’ I said, rolling my eyes. 

“This isn’t the Hadleigh I know.’’ He replied. 

Well good for you, I guess you're getting everything you want

“That Hadleigh is long gone. She was gone the second you said you fell in love with someone else.’’ I harshly said. I then used my powers to push him out of the way and then made my way outside of the mansion where surprise, surprise Juilet was. 

“Look Hadleigh I know what happened between you and Alex, but you need to back off. Look I love him and you are stunning and could take him back if you really wanted to and I can’t go through that heartbreak.’’ She said. 

“Oh Honey? You think I care? You can have my sloppy seconds, I couldn’t care less.” I said with a sigh before pushing her out the way and going to my car. I didn’t bother looking back. I simply floored it and I was off. 

Well good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

Enough For You || Alex Summers  

Welcome my loves to part 3 of my 11 part Alex Summer imagines series! If you haven't read parts 1 and 2 I will link them here but if for some reason the link isn't working they will be linked on my pinned post on my account!

I hope you enjoy xx

-VoidRanboo

.....................................

It had been a week since Alex and I had broken up and it went around the entire mansion and no one liked being in a room with Alex and I. I had stopped drinking after Charles talked to me about how bad I had gotten. I knew that it was getting bad, but without it I was a mess. I tried to look okay in front of everyone else, but even that was getting hard. 

Today I knew that I had to help Alex teach a class since our powers worked well with each other. I had gotten out of bed and decided to actually look good for once. I put on my favorite pair of black skinny jeans and my favorite band shirt. I decided to not put on makeup though.

I wore make-up when we dated 'Cause I thought you'd like me more

I never really wore these kind of things when Alex and I dated, sure I knew he wouldn’t care, but I always tried to be someone I’m not and maybe that’s where everything went wrong. Before I knew it I had started crying and I just couldn’t stop. 

Tried so hard to be everything that you like

After I had cried for a few more minutes I made my way to the bunker where we were teaching students with powers like Alex and I have. When I made it down there I saw that I had gotten there before Alex or the kids so I walked into the bunker and was just messing around with my powers until I heard a female laugh and she didn’t sound like a kid so I walked out of the bunker to see Alex and someone I had never met. I guess this is the new girl. 

You found someone more exciting

“Oh hey Y/N.’’ Alex said, trying to give me a small smile. 

“Hey.’’ I said, trying to smile as well. 

“Hi, I’m Juliet.’’ She said, giving me a sickly sweet smile. 

I knew that she knew who I was and I could play that game too. I would rather cry when people aren’t there. 

“Hi.’’ I gave her a sarcastic smile back.

“Juliet has powers too that are a good mix of both of ours so I thought she could help us teach this class.” Alex explained. 

“Well, if she has powers like mine why don’t I just leave you too it.’’ I somewhat snapped. I can’t believe he thought this was a good idea. I guess he really wanted to replace me in all ways. 

And you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong

I made it out of the bunker and walked right to Charles' office where I got a shocked and surprised look.

“He thought it would best if his girlfriend helped us teach the class and I wasn’t going to stick around for that.’’ I said before he could say something. 

“It’s okay Y/N, you have the day off.’’ He said, giving me a smile. 

“Thank you.’’ I said before walking out of his office. 

'Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough

I made it back to my room and grabbed my jacket and the keys to my car before I left the mansion. I didn’t exactly want to stay there right now and I thought it would be best to go on a drive and get all of the negative thoughts out of my mind. 

But don't tell me you're sorry, boy feel sorry for yourself

After driving around for a few hours I realized that it’s not my fault that Alex couldn’t see how much I loved him. I wasn’t going to sabotage his relationship, but I wasn’t going to stick around to watch it. I pulled back into the mansion and walked right to my room and started packing my bags. 

No, nothing's enough for you

1 Step Forward and 3 Steps Back || Alex Summers

Hello my loves! As promised here is part 2 to the 11 part imagine series I am doing for Alex Summers. If you haven't read part 1 yet I will link it on this post so you can pop over and read it and without further-ado let's get into this

I hope you enjoy xx

-VoidRanboo

..................................

The next morning wasn’t that much better, I woke up, walked to the kitchen to get another drink, and then walked back to my room. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone today. I need to wallow in this heartbreak right now. I didn’t hear someone knock on my door, I only felt the presence of someone else and that’s when I turned around to see Alex standing there. I could see the hurt in his eyes and I scoffed at that, but before I could tell him to leave the alcohol started speaking for me. 

“Why did you hurt me like this?’’ I slurred out. 

“Y/N….” Alex said slowly. 

“No, I want to know.’’ I asked, looking him in the eyes for the first time since we had our breakup….just the thought of it left a sour taste in my mouth. 

You got me fucked up in the head, boy

“I never wanted to hurt you like this, but I couldn’t keep doing this to myself either.’’ Alex said. 

Never doubted myself so much

“You were going to hurt me no matter what and I just want the pain to stop.’’ I said as my eyes started watering. 

I hate that I gave you power over that kind of stuff

“I can’t take the pain away...I still want to be your friend and be in your life though.’’ He said. 

“It’s always going to be one step forward and three steps back with you though. You want that, but I don’t want that. It will destroy me to see you love someone who isn’t me.’’ I sobbed. 

Do you love me, want me, hate me, boy? I don't understand

“I..I don’t know what you want me to say.’’ He said looking down.

“I don’t know what I want you to say either. I wanted you to be in my life. What happened to all the times you said you wanted to marry me. I Ignored everyone who said this wouldn’t work, but I guess I should’ve listened to them.’’ I replied.

“I don’t know what I can do to help you.’’ He said walking closer to me, but I held my hand up to stop him. 

“I don’t want your help and I think it would be best if you would just leave.’’ I said turning away from him. I couldn’t look into his eyes any longer. 

No, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong?

Once I heard the door closed I took the glass that was in my hand and threw it against the wall in sadness or anger, I wasn’t sure. 

It's back and forth, going over everything I said

I kept on going over everything and wondering what I could’ve done to change what happened. Did I love him too much? Did I not love him enough? Was I clingy? Was I too distant? What did I do wrong? 

It's one step forward and three steps back

Brutal || Alex Summers 

Hi before we start I wanted to let anyone who reads this know that this is going to be a 11 part imagine series. I took the songs off of Olivia Rodrigo's SOUR album, I put them in my own order and I wrote Alex Summers Imagines that all correlate with each other and each imagine is based off a song. The next one should be posted tomorrow xx

I hope you enjoy xx

-VoidRanboo

.................

“Hey Alex.’’ I said smiling while I walked into our shared room. 

I had just gotten back from training with Charles. While I had a handle on my powers I tried to always make sure to train to strengthen them. I went to our closet and took a change of clothes since the ones I was wearing were covered in sweat. 

“Y/N we need to talk.’’ Alex said sitting down on the bed 

“About what?” I asked after I got changed, I sat down with him. 

“Us.’’ He stated. I was starting to get nervous. Alex was never like this around me. 

I want it to be like messy

“What about us?’’ I shakingly asked. 

“I don’t feel that spark anymore….I think I am in love with someone else.’’ Alex said slowly. 

I didn’t know what to say. My entire world has just fallen in front of my eyes. I tried my hardest to keep calm and to not cry but my emotions got the best of me. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?’’ I choked out. 

“I gave this relationship my everything Alex. We have been together for almost three years and you want to call it quits because you think you love someone else.’’ I exclaimed.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I really am, but-” Alex started but I cut him off. 

“No, don’t say your sorry.’’ I snapped getting up and making my way to the door. 

“Where are you going?’’ He asked. 

“I don’t know and I don’t care. I just can’t be here right now.” I said without even turning around and before he could say anything else I walked out. 

I had made it all the way outside and I didn’t know where my feet would take me, but I needed to clear my head. I gave Alex everything, I told him I loved when I didn’t even fully know what the word really meant, we moved into our own room because HE wanted to be closer to me. He said he loved me and that he wanted to marry me one day, but I guess that was all a lie. I know I was young and I was still getting the grasp of everything. I at least thought I had the grasp of love and what it meant, but if this is what love is supposed to feel like I don’t want to ever experience it ever again. I ignored the age gap, I ignored the people that said to be careful, I ignored everything because I believed myself to be that in love with Alex.

I’m so sick of 17, where’s my fucking teenage dream

I came upon an open field and I made my way to it and I sat down and just let out everything. I screamed until I couldn’t anymore, I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore, my powers were going haywire, but I didn’t care. My throat was raw and my face was red and puffy. I looked like a mess and anyone who was just looking at me would think that someone may have died, but it was just me going through my first heartbreak. 

All I did was try my best. This the kinda thanks I get?

It was dark by the time I got back to the mansion and as soon as I walked through the door I was pulled into a hug by Raven. I didn’t have any reaction. I felt numb. 

“Y/N, where have you been?’’ She rushed out. 

“I had to clear my head.’’ I replied. 

“What happened?’’ She asked as we were walking our way to Charles' office. 

“I don’t even know.’’ I gloomily replied. 

Once we made it to Charles office and walked in I saw Alex, Hank, Charles, and Erik. 

‘’Y/N, are you okay? You just left without saying anything.’’ Hank asked. 

“Yeah, like I told Raven, I had to clear my head.” I replied. 

“Is everything okay?’’ Charles asked. 

“I don’t know.’’ I snapped. 

“You need to talk to us.’’ Erik said. 

“I don’t feel like talking and I won’t tell you what’s going on because what’s going on with Alex, and it is our business even if I wish I was dreaming. Just leave me alone.” I exclaimed before walking out. I caught the way they all turned to Alex for an explanation, but I didn’t stay long enough to hear what he would say. 

I wish I could disappear

I just needed to be numb. I made it to Alex and I’s room and I quickly gathered the things I would need and proceeded to go to my old room that thankfully hadn’t been taken by anyone. I closed and locked the door and fell onto my bed. 

I waited until everyone went to bed and then I walked to the kitchen to get a drink. I didn’t want to feel anything and I knew that drinking could help me with that. I don’t remember how many drinks I had in me, but I couldn’t see straight anymore and I clumsily made my way back to my old room. 

I quickly fell asleep thanks to the alcohol taking effect. I didn’t sleep well that night even with the drinks in my system. I just wish I could wake up from this nightmare. 

God, it's brutal out here

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I know I don't really have a tag list but I still want to tag the two most wonderful people ever who gave me the strength to start posting what I write <3

@swanimagines @harrysweasleys

I’m not ready for there to be no more new Macgyver each week 😭