Nihilism - Blog Posts

why do I choose the most depressing paper topics. Like I could be talking about AI or human nature or maybe even free will. But no. I choose Nietzsche. Why do I torment myself so.

When we were kids we dreamed of discovery and exploration. We dreamed of exploring the furthest reaches of the universe and the darkest depths of the oceans. We dreamed of technological advances only explored in sci-fi.

Then we learned.

We learned about unjust hatred between neighbors and families for how one person might be born. We learned about fear and greed and the destruction it leaves in it's wake.

The more we learned, the smaller those dreams grew. Now very few of us dream outside of sleep, and even our dreams are plagued with nightmares. Many of us have learned it's easier - safer - to kill our dreams than to let the disappointment consume our last shred of hope.

When we were kids we dreamed.

Now, we only dare hope to make it through the year alive.

An Essay on Nihilism and Ennui

Maybe the world is doomed. Maybe you can’t do anything about it. Maybe you were born on a train that had run of our track, long after we shot the engineers and burned the plans to lay track anew. The conductors barricaded the engine room where they hold hostage generations of coal miners who are forced to keep full steam ahead lest they be shoved into the incinerators themselves.

Maybe we can’t change any of that. I’d like to hope we can. Unfortunately hope isn’t the thing that drags your ass out of the cave you’ve collapsed into constructed of pizza boxes and soiled sheets. Drive is. Action is. Curiosity is.

Suppose we’re stuck on this train. It will crash. We will all die in a horrible fiery explosion, or succumb to the fumes first. What are you going to do in the meantime?

Here’s the thing: Life sucks and we’re all going to die. We don’t know when, we don’t know how. It feels impossible to plan for a future we have little data to prove will exist. What we do have is the interim. We can sit around and doom-scroll on our phones, or we can live life while we have it.

Plant a garden out of old coffee cans. Invite your friends over to fingerpaint on cardboard. Kiss the people you think about when you lay in bed at night. Chase an unrealistic dream, not because you believe it is possible, but because you can’t live with yourself if you never try.

That’s what you’re doing when you ingest endless content. You are simultaneously looking for the thing that will complete you, and desperately running from the voice inside that asks “what if there’s more?”

Stop. Running. Turn around. Look at the voice headlong. Dare to ask it back: “What more do I want there to be?”

Then go find it.

Taking a soft glance at a new world

I don't know how many times I have to say this:

I DON'T NEED HELP

I just want to sleep and not wake up again

Is that too hard to ask?

i get people telling me im a nihilist sometimes but im really not. i just dont shy away from talking about the “negative” parts of life because i think its an important step towards change.

i dont think we are doomed, nor do i think nothing matters. im angry. im upset. and i want change. theres a difference.

i think its dangerous to loop all angry people into nihilism.