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Nonhuman - Blog Posts
looking back on my childhood there are so many things that make so much sense from a nonhuman perspective. I have horrible memory, but I do know that I was absolutely convinced that I was adopted growing up. I never felt like I was a true part of the family that I belonged to. I never felt a sense of community with people.
now it’s obvious that this feeling arose from the fact that I’m not human, and that I am a changeling. I belong to another realm of existence.
there also comes my obsession with all things fantasy and fairy tales. One of the first books I ever got for myself was a huge collection of the grimms’ fairy tales. I especially loved animal stories. I identified with them so much, and it’s no wonder why.
there are a lot more examples of my behaviors being very off putting to humans, but I’m mainly focusing on my internal feelings in this post.
anyway I’m curious if any other nonhumans have had similar realizations about their childhoods.
as another fae animal, I think we’re naturally good at mimicking those around us. We mimic their forms and we mimic their behavior even though we are naturally distinct from it. By that I mean that we are at our core different, however we’re good at making it seem like we’re a part of this human society.
I don’t know if what I’m saying makes sense exactly, it’s hard to put into words. But I think what you’re saying is an interesting conversation, and I’d like to hear other changelings’ views.
at times i wonder, was *i* specifically switched in for my human counterpart when i was young because my individual fae character makes it easy for me to mimic my parental figures, or does my fae character make it easy for me to "leach" personality traits off of guardians and mirror them to make them more likely to accept me as a fake fae child?
is it an inherent changeling/fae trait? Seems likely honestly, as the ability to instinctively mirror traits to people when young while knowing they're only performed will make your survival and blending in more likely; and specially as a fae animal and not a human-like fae.
Just wanted to say if you are anti-endel, anti clinical lycanthrope/zooanthrope, maybe this isn't the best page for you. I may not be any of these but I suffer from delusions due to psychotic features with my depression and part of why I identify as holothere is for this reason.
No, I am not saying that I am against you advising others to get mental help if they want to, but I am against these types of creatures being excluded for something they can't entirely control. So if you are anti-endel, or anti-clinical lycanthrope/zooanthrope, then my page is not for you.
I definitely stim with behaviors from my species!
I sway very frequently. While other snakes do this to judge distance, I do it to self soothe. It really helps me to regulate and to feel more in touch with my ‘type.
Another thing I frequently do is climb. I don’t know if this really counts as stimming, but oh well. I love to reach high places and dangle from branches. It makes me feel very safe and connected to myself. Often when I’ve reached my designated basking branch, I sway and swish all my limbs.
I also flick my tongue frequently for fun and to help me “reset” my face after emoting. So those are just a few behaviors I attribute to being a snake.
the species euphoria and the autistic joy I get from shaking my whole body like I'm trying to get water out of my fur. hits my autistic 'yote brain real good when I full body stim like that.
i usually do it when I'm stressed and trying to "shake off the bad vibes". It really helps me take a second to calm down from any stressful customer interactions and kinda helps me relax a bit.
I also do it involuntarily sometimes whenever I wash my paws or have to get my fur wet. I hate having wet fur, it's overstimulating and uncomfortable for me.
I also sometimes have a big urge to dig especially in like sandy areas or dusty areas. idk what my coyote brain wants to do but...sometimes you just gotta dig a hole and see what happens. plus digging in sand or grainy dirt feels so good sensory wise.
anyone else sometimes stim using a behavior their species does? or just have a behavior from their species/theriotype that they use/find themselves doing a bunch?
I'm so curious to know if other creatures do this too
While I don’t often get the phantom sensation that you describe, I do sometimes feel this little twinge of energy inside me around large hawks or mustelids. It’s a bit of instinctual panic. I too have a worry that predators will see through my disguise.
For the most part I don’t feel like a prey animal, but there are times (especially around certain predators) where I am acutely aware of my place as a small part of the ecosystem.
Fellow small herbivores/prey, when passing past a large dog or whatever seems like a predator to you, do you sometimes get a phantom sensation of said predator biting into you and carrying you in their mouths? Makes me wary to walk too close to large dogs at times, and zoos not to mention.
I can almost feel the teeth in my abdomen and gravity working against me, takes me by surprise most of the time.
I'm lucky i'm a lot larger than most members of my species but instinct doesn't know that; what if the dog sees through the disguise and rushes at me? (takes a step back)
A quick reminder: your nonhuman experiences are your own. They don't have to be 'cute' or 'fun' or 'aesthetic' and don't feel weird if your nonhuman behaviours aren't like the average experiance.
There is no average nonhuman experience, don't think too much about how others perceive your behaviours because it's no one else's business.
If I created a discord server for alterhumans, one that is very inclusive of transspecies identities, IRLs, clinical zoanthropes, physical identifying nonhumans, etc etc; would anyone be interested? I've noticed a severe lack of alterhuman/nonhuman spaces on discord that tends to exclude the aforementioned beings - they tend to only focus on therianopathy (which isnt a bad thing) it'd also be 15+
You cannot spend your whole life attempting to appeal to people who dislike you. You do not need to make your identity palatable for those who refuse to understand.
There is nothing wrong with believing you are actually an animal. If others say you are crazy or delusional for that, then so be it. Their opinions do not matter.
Just because they want to contort themselves to fit into the ideals of anti-kin doesn't mean the rest of us have to.
And if you think I'm crazy for believing I am "actually" a coyote? Take it up with someone who gives a shit.
affirmations
i am so good at pretending to be human
my human disguise looks basically just like the real thing
i can withstand the feeling of my wings and tail being cramped for several hours in a row
it's really normal or even cute when i growl
i can easily partake in human conversations
I can only think of a few right now but for me it’s:
-meditation definitely
-basking
-hiking/being outside in general
-seeing other reptiles in the wild
-warm days (especially in spring)
im bored so, whats something you do/see/hear/smell that triggers a shift? ill go first :)
for me its
-eating really juicy fruits
-quadrobics (pretty rare for me to shift when doing this though)
-forest noises/wolf howls!
-meditation (still getting the hang of this one)
-and also certain smells like rain :)
i absolutely love the peace and serentiy i got as soon as i stopped forcing myself to see us as at least fractionally human
it's okay if people consider themselves partly human, i'm only talking about our holotheric therian experience here
Just like, even the disdain we had towards humans eased, because it's no longer a confusion but an accpetance of species difference.
Physical nonhumanity is not inherently bad or unhealthy, whatever that means for oneself.
Getting to walk in the woods now that it’s a little warmer I think is going to heal me
HOLOTHERE
[hol-oh-thyr / hɒləʊðɪr] from greek: "holo-"=entirely ; "ther"=animal,beast noun
1. A self-identifier term for individuals who are physically and fundamentally nonhuman in every way.
"I am holothere, i am and was born a selkie" "I am a bear holothere, but i also have a theriotyope so i identify as a therian when it comes to my non-physical animal aspects."
Holothere was created in the lack for an actual term for physical nonhumans, regardless of whether they consider their physical species a result of delusion(s) or don't experience them at all. It is meant to help those who are physically other find each-other and unite, in a way, under a term. _____________________________________________ NOTE that holothery does not inherently describe transformations, or the ability to transform. Some might, some don't and simply exist as they are; the term holothere only describes individuals who are nonhuman in every sense, not the ability to teach becoming nonhuman.
"Holothere" was made to be distinct from therian, otherkin and alterhuman communities and terms, although one might also have non-physical identities and view themselves as both therian/otherkin and holothere.
FAQ
fun fact therians can be physically nonhuman
