Your gateway to endless inspiration
Encyclopedia Bullshitica is now for sale through Barnes and Noble!
The first facts-i-just-made-up book can now be purchased through Barnes and Noble here. It's still available directly from Lulu.com, where I get about $7 per copy, but but Barnes and Noble can order it to any of their stores if that's helpful or more convenient.
If you like the blog, please check it out!
Based off of the story line from 'Titans: Rebirth' Vol. 1
My name is Wally West and I'm the fastest man alive. I've been away for a while. My last fight made me get lost in a space outside of time. The speed force. I was so alone and afraid. But there was always something to bring me back. My lightning rod. I don't know if I'm ready to face them again. Or if they're ready to see me alive.
"Who are you?" An escrima stick was held to my head as I crouched on the floor of my old apartment, looking at a photo I always kept with me. There's one thing I forgot to mention. No one remembers me.
"Dick?" I stand and turn, face-to-face with the elusive Hero, Nightwing.
"How do you know that name?" His face contorts into a scowl. Ah, the infamous batglare. "I don't know who you are--" he flipped over the desk that separated us. "How did you get in here?"
"Dick! Please, stop! I'm not here to hurt--" my sentence was cut short by him going to tackle me but a jolt of electricity shooting back and shocking him. I stare at my fingertips in disbelief. okay, weird.
"Did you just tase me?" he grips his palm with a wince. "What the hell, Wally? What was--" He stops, eyes widening. "Wally?" He asked himself. He know me. He knows me! "I don't understand." He mutters as I rush to his side to help him up. "I know you. I know your name..." he continued to talk to himself under his breath. "...but I don't know how."
"I'll explain soon, I promise." I whisper in his ear once pulled in a hug. It was short lived once I pushed him away and resumed my hero posture. "But first... Where are the Titans?"
"Right here." A voice said, from neither me or Dick.
I turn to see my old team surrounding us, weapons all ready. I see Dick's eyes widen from behind the mask from the corner of my vision.
"AH. Hi, guys." Okay Wally. Work fast. They don't remember either. How'd I do that zappy thing.
"Man, did you pick the wrong apartment to bust into, pal." Roy quipped, aiming his quiver straight at me.
They came at me from all side, Roy first. His rock steady determination, though he wasn't expecting me to be fast enough to dodge his arrow.
Then Donna and her protective fury when anyone hurts the ones she loves. I easily evaded her punch.
Lilith and her vulnerable mind to find the Truth. "I sense the intruder has done something to Nightwing! His mental patterns have been altered." She announced. Oh boy.
"What have you done to him?" Garth threw an unwavering punch. How can I prove that I'm not an enemy? They need to remember.
"You guys need to stop!" Dick tried reaching for me but was held back by Donna.
"Who is he?" She scowled as I avoided another blow with my speed.
"It doesn't matter who you are--" Lilith yelled, reaching her powers out and I fall down in pain. "--you can't outrun your own thoughts!" I scream.
"S'okay. We got him!" uhm. Ow. The when-all-else-fails Harper Hook. But when his punch hit, the sparks fly again. The memory dam bursts. He falls to the floor on his knees, cradling his head.
"What are you doing to my friends?" Donna attacked from behind. More sparks. More memories.
"He put Donna into some kind of trance!" Lilith yelled. "Grab him, Garth, and--" She was cut off as they both grab my arms. Sparks fly.
"Wally..." Lilith pulled her hood down. "It's wally." Tears welled in her eyes.
"Wally?" Donna stood back up. "Wally?!"
"I don't understand..." Garth ran a hand through his hair.
Dick still had yet to say something. Staring.
"Dick--" I started. I never figured out what I was going to say.
"Four years." He said, standing from the position I left him in from before the fighting began. "Four years! That's how long It's been!" He lashed out in anger, tears slipping past his mask. The others watched in somber silence. "You..." He started breaking down. "You were alive all along?" His voice cracked.
"Not exactly." I sighed, walking to him. "I was trapped in the speed force. It took me a while but I figured it out." I took his hand. This wasn't exactly how I planned for this to happen but it's now or never. "I needed something strong to bring bring me back." His masked eyes locked with mine and I could almost imagine those wide blue iris underneath it. "My lightning rod."
The way his mask contorted his eyes seemed to grow wider. I leaned closer and paused, waiting for a reaction. Our lips just barley grazing. I could feel his breath hitch on my face. We're so close.
Before I got the chance to doubt myself he lunged forward and connected our lips, holding me close with his arms around my neck. I gripped his waist like a lifeline.
Roy whistled from the sidelines. "It's about time." It was all background noise to me. I was in complete bliss.
Finally, I'm home.
I experienced a thought the other day whilst listening to music. So heres my opinions on what songs best suit various valorant ships. This is like half vibes based and half lyric based
Yorunix/firewalker (Yoru x Phoenix)
Allies or enemies by the crane wives.
I know they're more rivals than full on enemies HOWEVER consider the dynamic
Nanobomb (Raze x Killjoy)
Sonne by Rammstein
I didn't just choose this song cuz haha kj german but instead i feel that the vibe of the song fits Raze well if you catch my drift and the line 'sie ist der hellste Stern von allen' (she is the brightest star of all) fits with kj being depicted as being the smartest in a room
Bitemark (Viper x Chamber)
Love story by Indila
ONCE AGAIN not just cus chambers french but i feel a lot of lines in the song just scream chamber for example "I will be rich and I'll offer you all my gold and if you don't care I'll be waiting for you in the harbour If you ignore me I will offer you the last gasp of life"
Reyge (Reyna x Sage)
Work song by Hozier
this is them and idc what anyone says "She never asked me once about the wrong I did" is so them I cannot even
Reyna x Viper
Bad idea by girl in red
Do I even need to explain this one?
Fadeshock (Fade x Neon)
Cigarettes out the window by Tv girl
You cant tell me that Fade doesn't seem like a smoker (also i saw an edit of them to this song and it is all i think about)
Fire storm (Phoenix x Jett)
I don't want to set the world on fire by The Ink Spots
Both of them have caused harm with their powers despite not wanting to they dont want to 'set the world on fire' they just want to be normal people (i am sosososo normal abt them)
Sage x Omen
(Dont fear) the reaper by Blue oyster cult
Omen is so used to everyone being afraid of him and Sage refuses to let him believe he's a monster
Wrote most of these on my notes app whilst being tossed round a boat omw home
Bitemark (viper x chamber):
Viper being closed off and wary of Chamber only for him to gradually work his way into her heart.
The moment Viper starts to truly trust Chamber she finds out the things he's done and the friends he's taken from her.
Enemies to lover??? no. Enemies and lovers.
Most of my headcannons about them stem from my belief that Viper has issues w/ depression and her mental health (this can be seen in a lot of her voicelines)
Reyge (Reyna x Sage):
wrong time and wrong place. (also immovable object x unstoppable force)
Reyna's long since accepted that her life isn't her own anymore, any humanity she once had slowly being chipped away by the things she's had to do just to survive ("I have lied, beaten, killed to survive. I will kill again and again if it means one more day.").
Hates the part of herself that wants Sage, she feels so guilty about it viewing anything she does for herself as inherently selfish.
Sage wants to help Reyna but she doesn't know how to get through to her.
Cyberowl (Cypher x Sova):
Would sacrifice the world for someone they love x Would sacrifice the one they love for the world
Sova would do whatever it takes to save his earth even if that meant having to let someone he loves be taken from him
Cypher refuses to go through the pain he went through after loosing his family before
Rivals to lovers
Sova see's the worst parts of himself in Cypher (they are incredibly similar imo even though Sova would rather die then admit that)
Sage x Omen:
"it's rotten work" x "not if it's you"
Sage who's willing to do anything to help take away some of Omens pain and Omen who wouldn't wish his suffering onto anyone
Fadeshock (Fade x Neon):
If you show me your hands covered in thorns I will show you my palms ready to bleed.
two people with incredibly destructive abilities trying to find any semblance of control despite knowing that's an impossible ask (control. the gift so many yearn to give you. the one thing you will never have. - neons dossier)
Firewalker (Yoru x Phoenix):
(A lot of my thoughts about them are fully just from how I interpret the characters from the minimal info we're given as well as cultural backgrounds)
SO SO much internalised homophobia, mostly from Yoru but a little bit from Phoenix too.
With Yoru it's more so a cultural thing with Japan being a very conservative country and despite skinship being more accepted thats more so between two women rather then two men.
(Also w/ my headcannon of Yoru being trans being with another man even if it's what makes him happy makes him feel like 'less of a man')
He loves Phoenix but feels wrong about it, like it's something wrong that he's doing.
Phoenix doesn't have as much of a problem with internalised homophobia (mans went to drama school and has two mums come on now) but where he was raised there was a generally toxically masculine environment (fuckin peckham)
I’ve have so many thoughts abt val characters gender istg
(also maybe don’t take this too seriously)
Astra:
Straight but the biggest ally you’ll ever meet
(She/Her)
Breach:
Angry gay
Very cis
Kind of the cool gay uncle
Raze came out to him and he just sat there like??
Breach: Lesbian? I thought you were Portuguese
Raze: ...Breach I’m Brazilian
Brimstone:
KJ came out to him and it went smth like:
KJ: Brim i’m gay
Brimstone: Hi gay im brimstone
Straight but he’s for the gays
His pronouns are U/S/A (eagle screech plays in background)
Chamber:
Queer and homophobic in a way only Europeans can be
Cypher:
Bisexual perhaps with a side of genderqueer
Deadlock:
Women lover
A she/they
Would cry over beautiful women
Fade:
They are so nonbinary
They/She/He Fade is so real to me
Also a women enjoyer just isn’t a fan of labels
Ace spec fr
Gekko:
Green hair nd pronouns
Bisexual
Harbor:
No one really knows???
He’s either very supportive of his bros or is somewhat fruity
Him nd Astra kinda goals ngl
Jett:
Bisexual
Women?
Kay/o:
My boy is made of 1′s nd 0′s i do not think he could care less
Killjoy:
Lesbian
Her gender is science
Neon:
Pansexual
Blue hair nd pronouns fr
My little silly
Omen:
Phoenix:
I told a friend of mine (who doesnt play val) that phoenix has two mums and she just looked at him and said “he looks like the type” ????
Bisexual but scared of women
Raze:
The biggest women lover
gender is whats in your pants??? alright *pulls out several explosives*
Reyna:
Lesbian
Men anti
Sage:
Trans, cottagecore lesbian
Mother???
Skye:
Aro Ace as fuck bro
Sex?? Romance?? nah mate the forest
Her nd dealock r in a queer platonic relationship
Sova:
*Rubs my hands together evily*
Trans, gay Sova
You can pry this hc from my cold body
Viper:
Transfem
Straight but still anti men
Yoru:
Trans
Homophobic homosexual ngl
Phoenix tries to show any affection nd hes just like >:0 thats gay
Bonus:
Ruben pontes nd Oran McEneff:
Both gay
My actual OTP
I get sad when I think abt them