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Guys I’m begging please. Can someone write a hurt-comfort fanfiction where Sarah and JJ are platonic soulmates and they bond over their shitty dads please I’m begging.
*JJ and John B fighting*
John B: Listen here, you son of a bitch-
JJ: My mother was, in fact, considered an immensely kind and well-liked woman.
John B:
John B: Your father?
JJ: ... Continue
Pope: Why are there 6 more dogs in our apartment?
JJ: They're golden retrievers. They retrieve gold. I did this for us!
Pope: you gotta be fucking kidding me
JJ: Bitches b like "I'm baby" but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do you know about being baby you were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I'm bitches
Pope: I-
JJ, fake crying: I’m so sorry!
Pope: liar
JJ: *stops fake crying* 😐
Pope: You know, usually people with daddy issues become strippers
JJ: I mean, the option is still available to me
Pope: What do you think butterflies taste like?
JJ: They taste bad
Pope:
Pope: How-
JJ: I answered your question, that's all you get!
Random cat: Meow.
JJ: You sly bastard, I never would've thought of that.
Cleo: I'm sorry, but can he actually speak cat or is he just messing with us?
Pope: Knowing JJ... It may very well be both.
JJ: *sitting on John B’s bed. Hasn't eaten all day*
JJ: *looks up suddenly* Why do I hear boss music?
Pope: *kicks down the door* JJ LAWRENCE MAYBANK
JJ: OH FUCK-
Pope: I'm bi and confused.
Kiara: About being bi?
Pope: No, I just want to know what the fuck is going on.
*reunion after the motorcycle incident *
JJ: Pope?
JJ: Pope!
JJ: *running in slow motion*
Pope: JJ?
Pope: JJ!
Pope: *runs to him in slow motion*
JJ: Pope!
Pope: JJ!
JJ: Pope! That was the narliest power slide I’ve ever done-
Pope: *grows angry* JJ!
JJ: *grows concerned* Pope..?
Pope: *goes into full sprint, angry* JJ!!!
JJ: *turns to run away* OH FUCK
JJ: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.
John B: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!
JJ: *talking to Kiara and Pope and sways on his feet* woah
Pope: *freaks out* JJ love, are you alright?
Kiara: *ready to beat some bitch up if JJ is hurt* what's wrong what happened?
JJ: *thinks back to everything he's done* oh i haven't eaten today that might be why-
Pope and Kiara: JJ MAYBANK
John B: why are you carrying a plant?
JJ: Pope said I asked too many stupid questions so he's making me carry a plant around to make up for all the oxygen I wasted
Pope: *Is carrying all the groceries*
JJ: *Holds out hand to help*
Pope: *aggressively moves all groceries to one hand to hold JJ’s hand*
JJ: that’s not what I meant but ok
JJ: Man, it smells like wrongdog out here.
Pope:
Pope: JJ, are you alright?
JJ: *sobs*
Pope: You look mentally ill.
JJ: I am. Let's go.
Pope: JJ-
Cop: You ran a red light.
JJ: So did you, hypocrite.
Cop: I was following you.
JJ: That was dumb, I'm a terrible driver.
Cop: Get out.
Pope, struggling to keep upright in his 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don't really think heels are for me
JJ, pointing at him and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.
JJ: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Pope: Okay.
JJ: And make out during the scary parts.
Pope: Th-
Pope: The scary parts.
Pope: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
JJ: ..yeah
John B: Hey, have you seen JJ?
Pope: I'M NOT SEEING JJ!
John B: What?
Pope: What?
JJ, in the distance: So much for playing it cool, Pope.
Pope: Hey, JJ.
JJ: *heart eyes* Hey.
Kiara: Do you, like, not notice the other ten people in the room or...?
Pope: JJ...
JJ: Oh no, 'JJ' in b-flat.
JJ: You're disappointed.
JJ: Did you know that male bees die after mating?
Pope: That's sad
JJ: Yeah, that's their whole life. Honey, Nut, Cheerio.
Pope: Get the fuck out
jjpope edits can be so funny, you see a bunch of nice moments and then there’s JJ mimicking a blowjob and Pope laughing LMAO
Pope: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
JJ: I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like 1 just start acting stupid.
Pope: But you're always acting stupid?
JJ:.
JJ: Yeah, don't think about that too hard.
JJ: Did you know I can tell the time just by looking at the stars?
Pope: Really?
JJ: Yeah, John B taught me, wanna see?
Pope: Definitely
JJ: Alright
JJ: [looks up at the stars]
JJ: Its nighttime
Pope: Oh fuck off
JJ: I'm a wanted man, Kiara!
Kiara: You weren't even a wanted child
JJ:
JJ, panting and ready to break the law
Kiara: he needs to get dicked down
The rest of the pogues: WHAT
Kiara: what?
Pope, quietly: I volunteer to dick him down…
The pogues: WHAT
JJ: yes please
Kiara: Ok, maybe playing 'whose family is most dysfunctional' wasn't the best idea we've had. JJ’s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Pope: guys wtf? You know to never play that around JJ!