Rambles - Blog Posts

I wish there was something better than 'Thank you'. Hear me out on this. Sometimes, I feel like 'thank you' doesn't give enough gratitude, like at all. It's always used for everything. I want to say something nice but, all I can say is a lame 'thank you??' Dang. Maybe, I can say 'I give you my utmost gratitude, my kind human' or something..

Sleeping early is a scam. Because why do I still feel tired in the morning?!

A few days ago, I had a sequence of bizarre dreams. They looked like they were in the point of view of a security camera. Every time the dream progressed, I would eventually do a 'mistake'. A pop up would show up saying 'WRONG. Try again.' and restart the whole dream from the beginning. Each time, it would lead to a different situation, but end with the same, making a 'mistake'.

I have no idea what that means

What did they do to George?!

Today, my friend was complaining that I was finishing my work faster than her. So she comes up to me, and says, with a full serious voice,

'I hope you find shart in your cereal'

I stared at her for a good minute, wth??

Shout out to my 7th grade reading teacher who was the first person to ever encourage my creative writing. He took one look at a kid who was struggling to find a way to communicate how much they were suffering, took a look at a mess of a short story they'd written in an attempt to convey all their big heavy feelings, and fully embraced them.

I constantly talked to him about writing and how to get better. I showed him everything I wrote. Sometimes, it was so I could have critiques. Sometimes, it was just so someone would tell me I'd done a good job. I needed that. He gave me a healthy goal to work towards.

I wish he hadn't just been a long-term sub. I wish I could have told him that I go by something different now. I think he'd really like what I'm writing these days.

I love when things are going great and it's sunny outside and I can breathe for the first time in weeks without wondering how much it's gonna cost me. Summer can't come quick enough!!!

Feelin real green.

The Tumblr green text shade is a pretty good representation of me, I think. It's just toxic enough for me to think of Fallout and radioactive sludge.

The orange is good too. It isn't super bright, which I appreciate. More Halloween. Like, if I bottled up the original Halloween Town movie or a Spirit Halloween? It would be this orange.

Good shit

Hi!

I hope you get to eat dinner with your friends soon.

I hope you pet a cat soon.

I hope you see a really nice sunset soon.

I hope you get to wake up after getting the perfect amount of sleep soon.

I hope you have the time to make art soon.

I hope the thing you've been dreading doing isn't actually so bad.

I hope that you get to listen to your favorite song soon.

I hope you have a really good day <3

I need 2020 super saturated colors to make a comeback. My phones photo album was so alive back then. It still is pretty lively now, but I scroll through old photos, and it's like an explosion of color.

Or maybe I just need to pull another: live to make my photo gallery more nice to look at. I have been doing things. I just always forget to take pictures, which can make me forget that I haven't just been staring at schoolwork all month.

Very complex emotions tied to any kind of fruit turnover. Every time I look at them, I smell pine. I see my hands stained by blackberries. They have claws at the ends of them, and they're covered in dirt. It's cold, I can see my own breath. It isn't like my shifts, though, it isnt just me. I feel like I am not myself and at the same time all the same. It's as if I'm handing my body over to someone else for a moment, still aware it isn't me controlling it, still present, and at the same time, someone else completely.

This is probably some kinda derealization thing, but it only ever happens when it starts to get cold or I see those freaking desserts. It isn't really a pleasant feeling when it happens, but it's still something I weirdly miss. Like I'm inviting someone in, letting them have a break from wherever they came from, even for a moment. Weirdest part? I know who it is. I've known him for a couple of years now, and it always felt like he's a part of me after that.

I don't always actively think about him, I never talk to him unless I'm just really freakin lonely, and it isn't like an actual conversation. It's more like I'm just voicing my thoughts out loud, and he's quietly listening.

I don't really know what's up with that. I could call him an imaginary friend if imaginary friends occasionally took over your brain for a moment and made you incredibly uncomfortable with everything happening. Or maybe I am just simply overthinking, and he isn't real at all. Advice would be nice if anyone can offer it.

Hey! Heeeeyyy! The 2000s called >:D

I answered. It felt nice to hear the memories of my childhood echoing through the receiver. I heard the ocean, back when the 30 minutes it took to drive to the beach felt like an eternity. You were there too, mumbling something over the waves and the cars engine.

I enjoyed this month. I lived by the rule of: my camera roll is just a bunch of work schedules and spreadsheets. How do I fix this?

Then I planned a bunch of fun shit to go do with friends. Now, my camera roll is full of smiling faces, pumpkins, and art.

Look at your camera roll and see what you can do or plan to make it more colorful and joyous to reflect upon.

I get so excited at the idea of what my future readers will find out when they analyze my works to gain a better understanding of my psyche :3

Like damn Crypt. That's a lot of dead or absent sibling motifs mixed with characters going through some kind of identity crisis (often paired with them experiencing a disconnect from reality).

Yeah, reader. It's my brand.

I love my job. I work with kids from 6 months old to 13. The vibes are insane.

I love when kids come in and they're just as much of a nerd as I was at their age. Then they mention something like Undertale and freak out when I know what it is.

Kid. Not only did I live in that house, I helped fucking build it.

I put on old Minecraft parodies, and they lose their minds. Introduced a kid to CaptainSparklez a while back, that's special.

I'm out here showing them how to defeat the Ender Dragon and Asgore while also keeping another kid from beating up his friend. Shit is crazy.

Fiending for Arizona green tea so badly, I really want to try the fallout ones >:

Sometimes I miss sleep

Not what I do every night, not what I'll continue to do for the rest of my life. I miss sleep.

I miss the slow process of laying down, with the buzzing noise of my childhood friend's TV or the distant sound of the train.

I miss my little sister telling me she could hear Rudolph on the roof or asking me for a story.

I miss the feeling of falling into sleep, and I say falling so literally, as I can still identify that familiar drop in my stomach before I succumbed.

I can still picture that same image of myself falling, not unlike Alice, into a never-ending tunnel of quilts, slowly until I headed off to my own wonderland.

I miss waking up in a sea of warmth, a hand, or a leg thrown across me, snores ringing through the room. Light hits my face from a window coated in dust. My pajamas are the same clothes I'd worn the night prior, that I'll wear again today.

I miss my childhood friend's mother softly asking me if I'd come with her to get breakfast for everyone. I don't have to put on my shoes.

I miss the feeling of falling asleep on the way to the donut shop while Green Day sings me a lullaby. The car shakes as we hit pothole after pothole, but it's still the best I'll feel for months.

I miss the way my friends mother will lightly hold a cold bottle of orange juice to my skin, the way she'll laugh softly when I shrink away from it.

I miss her asking me if I'm awake yet.

I miss answering that it's too early.

pretty please..? (+ me js rambling)

can someone make more guy/honey fanfics? preferably with bear shifter honey. 🤭🍕❤️

super bummed that guy isn’t in AprilFooliesverse.. 😕

(can u tell i’m typing this on my phone and not laptop)

also jame’s video kept making me giggle cause i’m in love with the stoner trope (don’t ask)

i have school tomorrow, i feel like i should go to bed early but i really don’t want to. in the words of Guy, ‘fuck future me.’

i want my very own Guy 🙁🙁☹️☹️

i hate him. (i wanna kiss him on the mouth)

as a broke person i kept buying books and slurpies during spring break.

I might end up js passing out while listening to daveys playlist. (he’s so babygirl. I’m waiting for the double wedding)

lowkey disappointed i didn’t have a question 4 u Guys tonight 😖😢

anyone else listen to the new smosh song? Submissive and Breedable

‘she spongin’ on my bob- until im ready! 🤓☝️’

Also wtf guys 😕

where u guys find out Guys canonically a writer??

also who else thinks Naomi from 21 chump street (the musical cause i’m a nerd) is a bitch. No hate on the actress- tbh props to her tho, she’s a good actress- but like i hate her sm. She’s in a musical with Johnathan Groff and fuckin harry potter (i forgot his name. i wanna say andrew ranalls but i know that’s super wrong) i haven’t heard/watched it yet so yeah.

i really don’t want the Redacted hyperfixation to end. i wanna keep this with me for as long as possible.

holy fuck it’s like 4 am.

I cannot stop thinking about Angus Tully he's just, AAAAAAAA Like, yk? I ain't good at editing nor lots of writing, but I reallyyyy wanna edit him with the "cactus by Nasa Histories" song, I just, it fits him!!!! AAAAAAA HES JUST, PERFECTTTT, I FUCKING LOVE DOMINIC SESSA AND THIS MOVIE AND ANGUS AND HUNHAM AND EVERYTHINGGGGG

for someone who doesn't give a fuck, i sure do give a lot of fucks

We have heard of Incomprehensible Horrors but honestly, Horrors that are too comprehensible need more love. You can viscerally understand it and you really don't like it

Way-too-comprehensible horrors

I wonder How Shuro would feel about Falin's and Laios' Parents, especially their father.

Shuro and Falin have an underrated dynamic if you know he genuinely cared about her as a person and I don't mean this in a shipping sense. I wonder how to explore their relationship

Both Shuro and Laios do not want to be like their respective fathers too I believe, his relationship with the Touden siblings is like a mirror into himself and what he wants to be.

Someone needs to make a pair of boxers but it has thong strings attached to them

Auhh bsd spoilers for ch 118??

just went in-depth about Kenji's death (not exactly) to my brother besides going oh yeah he died in the current chapters so don't get too attached and he's so done with me lmao anyways

Kenji goes over to Atsushi, he proceeds to get his hand cut off before he can even realize what just happened

Atsushi is horrified at that point as the hand he was holding was just cut off, Kenji tells Atsushi to keep going no matter what before being slashed up into bits like warm butter (poor Kenji)

My brother asks me if he could be saved/resurrected like Akutagawa as I told him about before, i had to explain that the ADA has to get their hands on the Book. This is where he starts to get done with me lol

anyways yippee Naomi & Jun'ichirō aren't siblings so they aren't committing incest but just have a weird kink!1!1! (I mean it was kinda ((I think, I have yet to read it, I only have heard rumors)) proven by the irl Tanizaki's books before this but shhhh) auhhh, he only cared about Kenji's death, he didn't care about Kunikidas, Tanizakis, or Fukuzawas like an asshat but whateves

I feel like more people need to see this, like my friends (Yes I have friends, surprising) because I do spiritual stuff sometimes and knowing all these gems and knowing their spiritual info kinda helps. Sorry I'm kinda rambling.

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

I wish i was truly alone

Alone in a house

Alone in the woods

Alone in the world

So i wouldnt have to feel the pain of people

Hear the pain of people

Know the pain of people

I am scared

I am a coward

You are the best thing to have ever happened to me

And i do not want to lose you

I love you so solidly

So wholey

So maturely

So beyond my years

If i told you

All of this

Would you tell me too?

That you love me so truly?

So wholey?

So beyond your years?

Live your life, and ill live mine

But let me live my life with you

Beside yours

Id like to live

Teach me how to do that?

So that i dont do it wrong

I dont want to do it wrong

I am fragile

I am glass

Thin, brittle

But my love for you is strong

Like roman concrete

With it, i am stronger

As i weather through life

I heal

Like roman concrete

Though neve fully, never wholey

I dont mind

Because your love makes me strong

But i cannot be strong

Without you

If i told you that

Would you see me as simple?

As weak?

As codependent?

Is this parasitical?

Am i bad for you?

Do i bite?

Through my creation, have i poluted?

The water, the air?

With my volcanic ash?

Have i hurt?

Can you breath?

Do i bite?

Have i bitten?

Im scared

I am weak

I feel alone

Solitary

Singular

But with you,

You help

You do not complete me

That is not your job

To complete me

But you

You do so much more

So me and @gimmeurtmi & @kai-lee08 are all delulu for skz (who knew) so we’ve decided to talk bout random shit and send each other skz thoughts and pics so if you’re looking for new friends or just wanna share your thoughts about them you’re welcome to just drop your discord name and I shall add you 💕

MWAH

For some reason seeing art of characters I like just happily eating some yummy food always makes me want to cry

Rmabling, and skip it if you wanna,

but I gotta get this off my chest somehow. i am so exhausted and just came out of my first car accident with enough already on my plate. each time something goes well, something awful happens, and I just...give me a break to regenerate and blossom. we are thinking of a rent-a-car or entireprise(?) till then, but since it's the weekend, I guess we wait 🤷‍♀️. any comments are still appreciated, funny ones more so. Is this adulthood 😫😭

P.S. I do want to add that I really do love this site and how happy it's made me is imaginable. Especially during those tiring moments.

Feeling

Sick-er