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superbat fic idea: bruce and clark started dating before they knew about each other's identify and the batkids are overprotective of bruce so they tried to make clark's life miserable by sabotaging clark in ways that might be a bit too extreme at some point.
like, this one time clark came over for dinner jason put a whole bottle of laxatives in clark's food and clark ofc could tell that his food was tempered with in some way but he was so nervous he ended up eating the whole thing and ofc nothing happened to him so clark was like "oh thank god" and jason was like "what the everloving fuck" he wished he had gone with poison
another time clark came over damian hid a bunch of needles in a cushion and made sure clark sat on it bcus this is damian we're talking about he had no idea what is extreme and what's not. but then clark sat down like nothing was amiss and when damian checked it after clark went home the needles were all bent in different angles. he knew he should've put the katana instead.
or, tim hacked clark's phone to find some dirt on him bcus the background check didn't reveal anything remarkable. except he ended up seeing a bunch of bruce's noods and scarred himself for life. he might or might not have deleted some of the more scandalous pictures. and bruce might have bought clark a new phone with better security. all in all, tim would never go anywhere near clark's phone again
when every single one of their plans failed or backfired they roped dick into it and the next time clark came over while bruce wasn't there they locked him in the library and threw in a can of tear gas and smoke bomb. what they find was a very anxious clark hovering three feet above ground level pulling the heavy library doors off its hinges and frantically searching for the kids bcus he thought someone was attacking them and his first instinct was to protect bruce's children. he was still holding onto those bigass doors like they weighed nothing
so that's how they find out that bruce was dating superman