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Suizidal - Blog Posts
Blood bath
I avoided eye contact with the woman next to me as I wiped away the blood. I didn't care what the people around me would say now. I burst out laughing hysterically as tears streamed down my cheeks. I was drunk, my vision was blurry and she was talking to me. She asked if everything was okay, to which I obviously lied. She continued talking and I went along with it. I didn't dare look her or my friend in the eyes. I focused on her gold necklace until she placed her hands on my cheeks and asked me to look into her eyes.
"I could have killed myself"
A bandage was put on me, I regained my senses and helped myself.
"Should we go outside?
For some fresh air?"
I nodded.
Ich ekel mich vor mir selbst in meinem inneren Spiegel.
Ich schäme mich dafür, eine Last zu sein, ein Fremdkörper.
Ich fühle mich schuldig dafür, die Menschen um mich zu verletzen.
Ich hasse mich dafür, so zu sein, wie ich bin.
Ich wünschte, ich wäre anders, aber ich weiß nicht wie.
Ich glaube, es wäre besser, wäre ich nicht mehr.
Ich hoffe, ich schlafe ein und wache nie wieder auf.