Your gateway to endless inspiration
tfp!human!au:
ratchet: - do you know that alcohol is completely eliminated from the body only after approximately twenty days?
wheeljack: - ..you mean, never?
tfp!human!au:
knock out:
knock out: - please tell me you're hiding that you were turned into a vampire..
breakdown: - ..? no?
knock out: - so you mean you could see your reflection in the mirror and you came dressed like that anyway?
tfp!human!au:
knock out: - oh.. didn't notice we had a new halloween decoration here.
megatron: - we don't have any. it's starscream.
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - but if the human body doesn't get water, it dies!
ratchet: *takes away coca cola bottle*
ratchet: - i hate to break it to you, but this is not water.
smokescreen: *struggles to take the bottle back*
smokescreen: - no, but it's a liquid-
tfp!human!au:
how the 1st episode should have started
ratchet: - what in the actual fuck?
optimus: - ratchet. be careful what you say, there are children here.
ratchet: - well that's the point! what in the actual fuck do the children do on the military base?
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - not a single person asked me how fast i could run in my new shoes today.
smokescreen: - being an adult is just so stupid.
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - hey bee, do you happen to have a band-aid? i seem to have cut my finger..
bumblebee: *nods and hands him several colorful band-aids with different cartoon characters*
smokescreen: ☆.☆`
smokescreen: - ..so you mean i have to choose one?.. you know what, lend me your knife for a minute, too!
tfp!human!au:
arcee: *stretches*
arcee: - ugh, my whole body hurts..
smokescreen: - oh, is it because of dealing with all that paperwork? or because of some intense workout?
arcee: - it's because of my being in my late 20s.
tfp!human!au:
after new year's party
bulkhead: - get up, it's 6 o'clock already!
smokescreen: - already? ohh, alright, guess i'll skip my morning training today..
bulkhead:
bulkhead: - no, i mean, it's 6 p.m.
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - your tattoos look dope, but what do they mean?
wheeljack, grinning: - that i cannot be trusted with two thousand bucks for sure.
tfp!human!au:
ratchet's laptop: *emits an audio signal that it's running low on battery power*
ratchet: - uhh, fuck off!
ratchet: - i'm running low on my will to live right now.
ratchet: - but i'm not doing bulubulu every five minutes.
ratchet: - i'm working!
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - what's your biggest fear?
optimus: - being forgotten.
smokescreen: - damn, that's.. deep..
smokescreen: - mine is the kool-aid man but i feel kinda stupid about it now.
tfp!human!au
ultra magnus: *drinks his third coffee in a morning and prepares for the roll call after returning from the night duty*
smokescreen: — uh.. sir, are you sure you're alr-
ultra magnus: *cleares his throat*
ultra magnus: — those who are absent, raise your hands!
tfp!human!au:
knock out: — i literally have no idea what's going on in my life.
knock out: — i'm just in charge of the outfits.
tfp!human!au
video blogger: «most people only work to secure the future for their children»
optimus: *looks at sleeping bumblebee*
optimus, quietly: - oh, that is so, the best future awaits you.