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Transformers Incorrect Quotes - Blog Posts
Here's more incorrect qoutes for @keferon mecha Au to fuel everyone's angsty soul.
First Aid: Can you come out?
Blurr: Yeah sure, give me a sec..
Blurr: First Aid, I'm gay
First: *visible twitching* I already know that, come out to the car
Blurr: oh..ok
Blurr: Swerve I'm gay
Swerve who is currently on his alt mode: We are literally dating!
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Prowl; You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you all even get here so fast?
Jazz: Several traffic lights
Swerve: Three counts of resisting arrest, one for each of us
Blurr: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks
Jazz: and that is not our car.
Deadlock who is the car: Hey Prowl
Prowl: what the frag?!
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Rodimus: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying?
First Aid: Damn, if people did that to each other, Vortex would've killed everyone years ago.
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Someone holding a gun to First Aid's head; what happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?
First Aid: Bold of you to assume I'll go to heaven.
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Jazz: you know, Prowl, when you generalize, you tell general...lies.
Prowl: ......
Prowl: Are you trying to teach me moral lesson through puns?
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Swerve to Blurr: Would you like to stay for dinner?
Jazz from the kitchen: would you like to stay forever!?!
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Jazz: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am
Swerve first time driving an actual car: I know I should be more focus on the fact you just came out, but HOW FUCKING DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING
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Swerve: *Sneaking around the facility trying to get to Blurr*
First Aid from the distance who's high on the shit Pharma gaved him: *Watching Swerve phase through a wall* There goes my monthly does of Swerve
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Prowl: Are you crying?
Jazz, try to cut onions: No, it's just the onion, they-
Prowl grabbing the Onion with force: What the frag did you say to Jazz?
The Mech Pilot Au by @keferon has me on a chokehold, so, I'mma procrastinate from writing an actual fic by just writing down incorrect quotes instead-
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Swerve: We’ve found the person who stole your identity and was impersonating you.
Blur: Where were they?
Swerve: Eating cheetos and crying in their car.
Blur, impessed: Damn, they really went for it.
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Jazz: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!
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Prowl: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
Jazz: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.
Prowl, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.
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Blur: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??
First Aid: So fuck oxygen, I guess.
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Prowl: Vortex isn’t answering my messages.
First Aid: Allow me.
Prowl: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-
Vortex: *replying to message* Hello.
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*First Aid and Jazz enter a dive bar*
First Aid: Look, I know you’re disappointed but could we at least have a drink.
Jazz, in a scuba diving suit: I would like leave, please.
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Blurr: Here is my wall of inspirational people. Swerve: Is that a picture of you? Blurr: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
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First Aid: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.
Vortex: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!
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Vortex: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass.
First Aid: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL!
Vortex: …Your point?
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Jazz: First Aid is restricted to decaf for the rest of this adventure.
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Jazz: I told Swerve to grab snacks for everyone.
Blurr, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?
*Jazz, First Aid, and Swerve raise their hands*
*Vortext from the distance,also raising his hand*
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Jazz: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise.
Vortex: What's the surprise?
First Aid: Blood poisoning.
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Vortex: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.
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Swerve: Why would anyone want to harm Blurr?
Vortex: Maybe because they met him?
Optimus, during a fight, to the Autobots: Win this one for the sake of the humans and Earth!
Bumblebee & the others, charging off: FOR THE HUMANS AND THE EARTH!
Megatron, to all the Seekers: Win this one because I told you to.
The Seekers, flying off: BECAUSE YOU TOLD US TO!
Has binge watching Rescue Bots till season 2 and I really love it
Chief Burns : These are my children. My daughter Dani, and my sons; Graham, Kade, Cody....
* turns to the rescue bots*
Chief Burns :...and my alien sons Heatwave, Chase, Boulder and Blades
Bumblebee: look alright, it was during bootcamp and I didn't know he was evil alright?!
Bulkhead: *crying because his best friend never told him about it*
Sari: *confused* what does fragged mean?
Prowl: *comforting bulkhead while trying to explain to sari in a child friendly way what fragged mean*
(crack TFA shit)
Optimus: Stand down Shockwave! You can't escape us!
Shockwave from the distance: I FRAGGED YOUR SCOUT AND TOOK HIS SEAL!!
*everyone stares at Bee confused*
Bumblebee: *Looks away with shame*
Ratchet grabbing him by the shoulders: LOOK ME IN THE OPTICS AND TELL ME HE IS LYING!
Bumblebee: *Starts sweating bullets*
Ratchet: LOOK AT ME!!
tfp!human!au:
ratchet: - do you know that alcohol is completely eliminated from the body only after approximately twenty days?
wheeljack: - ..you mean, never?
ratchet: - has anyone seen bumblebee and smokescreen?
bulkhead: - oh i'm sure they're fine. i left them with wheeljack!
ratchet: - no offense, bulkh, but those two sentences don't go together.
tfp!human!au:
knock out:
knock out: - please tell me you're hiding that you were turned into a vampire..
breakdown: - ..? no?
knock out: - so you mean you could see your reflection in the mirror and you came dressed like that anyway?
smokescreen, admiring the sunset: - now imagine how cool it would be if you could take screenshots in real life..
bulkhead:
arcee:
bulkhead, in a whisper: - may be we should remind him about cameras?
arcee, in a whisper: - nah
tfp!human!au:
knock out: - oh.. didn't notice we had a new halloween decoration here.
megatron: - we don't have any. it's starscream.
ultra magnus: - it seems like we have to change our strategy. quick, what is the plan b?
bulkhead: - well.. there's no plan b.
wheeljack: - and there's no plan a either.
smokescreen: - yeah, basically, we have no idea what we're doing.
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - but if the human body doesn't get water, it dies!
ratchet: *takes away coca cola bottle*
ratchet: - i hate to break it to you, but this is not water.
smokescreen: *struggles to take the bottle back*
smokescreen: - no, but it's a liquid-
wheeljack: - it's not about if anyone permits me to do that
wheeljack: - it's only about if anyone can prevent me from doing that
tfp!human!au:
how the 1st episode should have started
ratchet: - what in the actual fuck?
optimus: - ratchet. be careful what you say, there are children here.
ratchet: - well that's the point! what in the actual fuck do the children do on the military base?
bulkhead: - we're surrounded!
wheeljack: - great, so that means we can fire in any direction!
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - not a single person asked me how fast i could run in my new shoes today.
smokescreen: - being an adult is just so stupid.
wheeljack: - you're so resilient!
arcee: - thanks. my options were that or dead.
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - hey bee, do you happen to have a band-aid? i seem to have cut my finger..
bumblebee: *nods and hands him several colorful band-aids with different cartoon characters*
smokescreen: ☆.☆`
smokescreen: - ..so you mean i have to choose one?.. you know what, lend me your knife for a minute, too!
knock out, mad at himself, entering the medbay: - i'm just an incredible idiot!
shockwave: - awareness of the problem and an objective evaluation of its scale are 50% of its solution.
tfp!human!au:
arcee: *stretches*
arcee: - ugh, my whole body hurts..
smokescreen: - oh, is it because of dealing with all that paperwork? or because of some intense workout?
arcee: - it's because of my being in my late 20s.
wheeljack: - but how did you find me?
ratchet: - oh, our computers detected a huge explosion and we thought «now, who could that be?»
tfp!human!au:
after new year's party
bulkhead: - get up, it's 6 o'clock already!
smokescreen: - already? ohh, alright, guess i'll skip my morning training today..
bulkhead:
bulkhead: - no, i mean, it's 6 p.m.
no one:
vehicons: - if we combine our powers, we can be even more useless than we are individually
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - your tattoos look dope, but what do they mean?
wheeljack, grinning: - that i cannot be trusted with two thousand bucks for sure.
smokescreen: - well, in my defense, i was left unsupervised!
optimus: - wait, wasn't bumblebee with you?
bumblebee:
smokescreen:
smokescreen: - in his defense, he was also left unsupervised.
tfp!human!au:
ratchet's laptop: *emits an audio signal that it's running low on battery power*
ratchet: - uhh, fuck off!
ratchet: - i'm running low on my will to live right now.
ratchet: - but i'm not doing bulubulu every five minutes.
ratchet: - i'm working!
knock out: - if a beautiful mech disagrees with me i'll immediately change my views. i have no principles.
bumblebee: - well, maybe you should have principles.
knock out: - you're right, maybe i should.
tfp!human!au:
smokescreen: - what's your biggest fear?
optimus: - being forgotten.
smokescreen: - damn, that's.. deep..
smokescreen: - mine is the kool-aid man but i feel kinda stupid about it now.
imagine how tfp knock out and cliffjumper could've met in the 1st episode
knock out: - your frame is painted in my signature color!
cliffjumper: - you don’t own the color red. red existed before you.
knock out: - not aboard nemesis. here, i invented red. i am red.
tfp!human!au
ultra magnus: *drinks his third coffee in a morning and prepares for the roll call after returning from the night duty*
smokescreen: — uh.. sir, are you sure you're alr-
ultra magnus: *cleares his throat*
ultra magnus: — those who are absent, raise your hands!