Transmen - Blog Posts

Do any other fem transmen get weird about their leg hair? Like i love to dress feminine with skirts and dresses, and I feel like I should shave my legs to make it look right. I know that's not true, and body hair is neither masculine nor feminine, and it's natural. I also have no desire to shave my legs because I would feel dysphoric.

No one is telling me to shave or anything, but I think after living as a girl for so long in a society that pushes a hairless beauty standard, I always feel like I should shave or trim my body hair.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I know im supposed to love myself and be happy but god damn is it hard. There's days where i can say, "yeah i look really cute" or if i need to say something nice about myself i can say, "i have a nice smile" but there are other days where i just cant.

Im just exhausted and i can only see a fat tummy and chubby arms with no muscle and a small double chin and weird legs and a feminine smile and feminine eyes and too big hips and no facial hair and and and

I can see these things in other people and be enamored and be gaping at their beauty. Its just not okay for me to have these things. I know thats not true, but i still think it

I dont know what to do

Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.

You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".

Research on transsexuals also shows how the elicitation of deference depends on the type of man one is perceived to be. Based on in-depth interviews with 29 transmen, Schilt (2006) found that whereas white transmen beginning to work as men were taken more seriously, had their requests readily met, and were evaluated as more competent than they were as women, young, small Black, Latino, and Asian transmen did not gain similar advantages. Similarly, in her interview study of 18 transmen, Dozier (2005) found that, as men, white transmen reported being given more respect and more conversational space and being included in men's banter. They also experienced less public harassment. Transmen of color, on the other hand, reported being more frequently treated as criminals, and short and effeminate transmen reported being publicly harassed as gay. Gaining the full privileges of manhood is thus shown to depend not merely on being recognized as male, but on the whole ensemble of signs that are conventionally taken as evidence of a masculine self.

— Men, Masculinity, and Manhood Acts by Douglas Schrock and Michael Schwalbe (2009)