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Tw Sui Talk - Blog Posts
Man....
In college I used to be so good at debate
Now every time someone wants to "debate" on feminism or the state of the world I just want to kill my self in front of them
My cognitive function is just gone now
Okay guys I’ve got another comic going on now :). This one is actually written by @ineedseveretherapy and it’s called Truth Or Dare. I kid you not this made me cry. Call me sensitive but man I couldn’t get this out of my head until I decided I HAD TO DRAW IT.
So with permissions from the creator (thank you again, by the way) I started drawing. I struggled so hard to not put as much detail and color and attention into this comic like Warfare because I really like the story, but I knew if I did my main comic would suffer, so I hope you guys are okay with messy sketches haha.
But for real, give this story a read I really like it and there are two parts. Please mind the trigger warnings and tags. This comic and the story does cover heavy topics about suicide so please be careful. Thank you all so much for the love and support you guys are all incredibly amazing. God bless you all! ✝️
I really want to cut off my friends because their so toxic and make me feel like shit, but I don't have anyone else to hang out with at school :/
I might not even talk to them, but at least I don't look like a fucking loner :(
One of them in particular is pissing me off cause they always tell me about their relationship struggles or their interests, and whenever I tell them something they dont listen. I can't care about them at all atp, like your partner doesn't like that you like men ?? Well I fucking told you that they were toxic I can't help you. The fuck do they want me to do ??? They send me weird images or weird things in general, and I tell them to stop and they never apologise and continue. They js make me uncomfortable and they used to punch me alot ╯︿╰ I fucking hate my friends, I'm gna jump into a meatgrinder.
I keep seeing the thing where it's like 'here's how to report someone if you think there life is in danger (by suicide)'....and...that feels so off to me. I know so many of you just want to help, but i don't think that would help so many people. It wouldn't help me, because it would cause more stress and panic and then if my parents found out I would end up getting everything taken away from me. :P
idk if im gonna be able to keep myself stable enough to fake being non suicidal in therapy tmrw :P Plus i think my hearts gone again, so if i get hospitalised, uhhhh :(((( I'll cry :(( because i wont be alowed on my phone, and i need to be online otherwise i wont be able to get any attention ╯︿╰
"Don't do a permanent decision to a temporary situation 🥺"
If you fucking say this to people, I reeealllyyy hope you wake up tomorrow and all your fingers are gone >:(((
Whenever someone has said this to me it basically fells like someone is saying
"That horrible thing your going through ? Yeah, it doesn't matter enough for me to give actual advice or show I care, I'm just going to invalidate how you feel ^^"
Sometimes people who experience mental illnesses, poverty and suffering in general, it doesn't feel like a 'temporary situtation'. So technically you are just invalidating how someone feels. If a kid has been suffering with severe depression and abuse for over 10 years do you think it's going to feel like a temporary situation to them ? Abuse isn't forever, but it can last years. And what about people with permanent mental health issues, or chronic pain issues ? That doesn't sound so fucking temporary to me.
I don't want anyone to commit, but if someone tells you they're thinking of it and you put on a shit eating grin, and say that stupid line, I will be finding you and eating you😍
AHH I LOVE WHEN SHE SENDS PICTURES AND VIDEOS OF HERSELF, SHES SO FUCKING PRETTY IT MAKES ME WANNA KMSSS, AHHHH MWWAHHHH <3333
Ok can you guys tell me in the comments but am I a bad person for not reporting my friend to a teacher like I know I would hate it but I really care for my friend and I don't want to go back to school and them not being alive because of me i just feel like a shit friend and I don't know if I did the right thing.
My friend told me he was gonna kill himself I've been crying since lunch I just left school and he told me if he's not there Monday then he did it and it worked.
My whole life is crashing down around me I'm not ok right now
I was telling you about how school is so draining that I dread getting up in the morning but you yelling at me to "clean my room"and"try harder"
What if the next time you see me I'm covered I'm my own blood with pills all around me would you tell me to "clean my room:
Gettimg a random burst of energy but I still wanna kms is so weird cause wdym I'm jumping around and acting silly but in my head I wanna die like what 😭
All I do is bleed
I bleed for you
I bleed for them
I bleed for her
I bleed for him
I bleed for me
All I am is a bleeding bloody mess
I feel my time is running out
An suddenly my heart has been ripped out of my chest and sat neatly infront of me
Ok this is gonna be a bit dark to talk about
TW:⚠️suicide mention ⚠️
Gangle tried to commit suicide at one point in her life and survived
Reasons why I think this
because she jumped in front of a truck it didn’t seem like an accident or anything
but like purposely tried to get hit by it
Plus Caine literally said she ran into oncoming traffic not fell, RAN!!
For fun I did a tiny comic which will make you guys feel like I shoot you guys 57 times
TW!! ITS ABOUT SUICIDE AND SH TW!!!!
I don't wanna trigger anyone soooo... If you wanna check it, look under the cut
I love good old dose of angst
People are not defined by their addictions.
Someone who is an alcoholic isn’t just an alcoholic. Someone who’s hooked on opioids isn’t necessarily a bad person. Someone who can’t help but shoot up on heroin isn’t necessarily crazy. SOMEONE WHO IS ADDICTED TO DRUGS ISN’T A BAD PERSON JUST BECAUSE THEY DO DRUGS. And even if they are a bad person? They should still be entitled to get help. If the cops arrest someone for possession of drugs, that person shouldn’t just be charged for the crime. They should be given legitimate help to stop the addiction. And because this isn’t done, at least where I live in the US, my Papa (mom’s stepdad) is now dead. Today’s his birthday, and two days ago, he committed suicide. He was an alcoholic, who was arrested multiple times, and one of those times was for possession of drugs. I don’t know what kind. All I know is, very little was done to help him, if anything at all was done. Just because someone has an addiction does not make them a bad person. I can say this with confidence because, when I was little, my Papa was one of the funniest people in my life. He made me and my cousins giggle a lot, by telling jokes and making funny faces and tickling us silly. I don’t have many memories of him beyond that, because once he and my Nana (mom’s mom) got divorced a few years back, we only saw him twice. We tried to schedule time to spend with him, but a lot of the times, he would cancel last minute. He would stop reaching out to people as much. He had to give away his cat and move out from the house he and my Nana had lived in. He moved into an apartment. Multiple times, my aunts who lived nearby called for police welfare checks on him.
Two days ago, on March 20th, my Papa was found dead. I don’t feel comfortable sharing how he did it, but he did leave a suicide note- a note that none of my family had access to for about 24 hours or so after we found out what had happened. Chances were that he was intoxicated, due to the location he was found, though we haven’t gotten back the toxicology report yet to confirm this. The day before, one of my aunts had called the police to do a welfare check on him, as he wasn’t answering his phone. Five minutes later, the officer she’d gotten in contact with responded- a time short enough for us to believe that the officer(s) involved in the welfare check were negligent. My personal opinion, though biased, is that since he had been arrested before (not for any sort of major charges to my knowledge), the police were starting to be tired of him, and think of him almost as a nuisance. Like I said, however, this is just my opinion.
People with addictions need to be treated as what they are- people. Good or bad or anything in between, everyone deserves to get treatment for an addiction, and to have their health taken care of. Otherwise, the consequences can hurt not just the person themselves, and not just the people who love them, but our entire society as a whole.
Rest in peace, Papa, and happy birthday. I love you, and I hope you knew that. 🤍
Yeah!!! This is why I love this game so much (same reason I love Fnaf as well- LOREEE) :D plus, it’s really fun to talk about it with people and theorize and infodump! :3
Edit: I found out that apparently Polly says that Basil lived with his grandma since he was a toddler so I did end up editing this post TvT
Currently, my timeline idea of the wilted flower theory is:
Basil's parents were never really around. We don't know his exact backstory of history with them, but he’s been living with his grandma since he was a toddler. It’s HEAVILY implied that Basil didn’t have many or any friends until the friend group sort of took him in. As someone who struggled a lot with friendships around the same age as Basil would’ve been, that really does make you feel lonely. He had his grandma, of course, but I can imagine it’d still be hard without his parents. This bit is more speculation, but that might’ve partially led to his apparent fear of abandonment.
Little Basil is friendless. Maybe even bullied at the time- after all, it’s a small town that’s very religious, and Basil isn’t exactly the definition of masculinity. There’s a possibility that could’ve led to bullying, though I have no real evidence for that. His parents aren’t around, and he has no friends. Especially at his age in development, that could easily lead to feelings of loneliness and depression. Not to mention, we still don’t fully know what Basil’s relationship with his grandma was like, even if it was a good one. All of this combined could very well lead to su!c!dal thoughts. Big traumas aren’t the only thing that can cause mental illness.
So when the friend group takes Basil in, he’s finally found people who don’t make him feel so lonely. They’re people who love and accept him like family. He’s especially close to Sunny, who makes him feel listened to. We can clearly see the bond they have, whether platonic or romantic- in the majority of the Basil’s photos and the scenes we see in the Final Duet, he and Sunny are often shown closer together. Basil shares his hopes, his dreams, and his greatest fears to Sunny, the closest friend he’s ever had.
And then... The incident. Basil sees Sunny, that friend who he trusts, possibly more than anyone in the world, arguing with his sister, and that dreaded moment when Sunny pushes her. She falls down the stairs, and eventually it becomes clear that she's dead. Basil doesn't want anything to happen to Sunny; he doesn't want to lose him, to lose the person he cares about possibly more than anyone else. He doesn’t want to be alone again. So he does the only thing he can think to do. The first thing to come to his mind is the n00se, because that's something that is or was frequently on his own mind. And he finally does it- he ties the n00se, but it's not for him, at least, not this time.
Soon after, the friend group falls apart. The only friends Basil has ever had, and from his perspective, he was the one who ruined it for them all. Which is why he so desperately clings to Sunny as a friend, the one lifeline that shows he’s not alone. And when his grandma’s condition deteriorates? That made him feel even more alone.
Not only does this storyline explain how Basil knows how to tie a hangman's knot, but it also explains a lot about his character. Fear of abandonment, and reason that framing Mari's death as a su!c!de was the first thing to come to mind to protect his best friend, because the thought of su!c!de never wandered far from his mind.
So- Omori rant rq since I'm listening to some VAs play through it cause I can't sleep.
Spoilers Below, obviously.
So- it's canon that Sunny was daydreaming of his little headspace FAR before Mari's death. It's in one of the books in the Forgotten Library (the place you fall into after defeating SweetHeart).
Headspace was an escape for him so that he could have his friends back, before they gave him the violin- hence why it never happened in the headpace timeline. To escape the pressure of not wanting to let them down, he created Headspace- but he got addicted to it and started to use it to avoid paying attention during school or whenever he was feeling pressured.
When Mari passed, Headspace took over his life- his parents split up, he was wracked with immense guilt, he couldn't bring himself to leave the house or even bed at first. His mother was forced to withdraw him from school since he had missed so many days, in order to prevent legal action being taken and her risking losing her only child left to his father or to CPS (logical guess, no actual proof other than he was taken out of school).
Sunny dived so deep into Headspace, that he was forced to create his Omori persona when he had gone too far and his brain created BlackSpace once it ran out of ideas- the place his guilt, regrets, and grief went to die everytime he allowed himself to sleep.
Sunny was always a maladaptive dreamer, but it steadily got worse overtime. As a maladaptive dreamer myself- I sympathize heavily with him and his coping mechanisms. His friends and family failed to see the signs that he was losing touch on reality, and when his big sister died- by his hands no less? He lost himself entirely. You can see when it happens in the photos you see of the truth.
When he realizes Mari isn't going to wake up? When he realizes she isn't breathing? His world shattered and he was paralyzed in his guilt- since he was so unresponsive, Basil did the only thing he could think of and tried to protect Sunny. In the process, gaslighting himself into having seen Something pushing Mari instead of Sunny.
Which, honestly, is also highly concerning. Why did Basil previously know how to tie a noose when he was only twelve..? My thoughts immediately go to his neglectful parents- maybe he had attempted before and that was the whole reason he was sent to live with his grandmother? To keep an eye on him, until she got sick and they hired Polly. Idk but that'd make sense.
ANYWHO- if anyone would like Omori oneshots, send in some requests. Be it tooth rotting fluff or heart wrenching angst- send it my way, I need a break from my books.
The worst part of being suicidal is people trying to talk you out of it
People seriously underestimates how living with mental illness is also inherently traumatizing.
It's been almost 10 years for me now. I physically feel my memory suffering under mental illness. Other senses like vision get affected too.
You wouldn't expect someone to undergo 10 years of cancer treatment, only to still be sick, and tell them "please keep going, you've been so strong before, one day it'll be alright!". You just wouldn't do that, would you?
Then why is it not only normalized, but encouraged to act that way towards me?
HAHA oh my god i wonder if she blocked me on everything.
how fucking petty.
fuck i should let someone else front but then i doubt either of them would talk with us. not like she would anyway.
god im so sick of this shit.
if im/we're a doormat we get told i/we need to stand up for ourselves but when we do that we're suddenly the bad guys?
god maybe i should just fucking kill myself. an endless void of nothingness sounds great.
i fronted again so that we could still keep in contact with out any problems but thats obviously not working so whats the fucking point. oh that's right- there is none.
god fucking damn it.
i hate being alone
dont worry im not going to kms- my rooms a mess and i dont want our mom to find our body and have to clean up our room.
as stupid as it sounds. but hey its keeping me here so i guess the mess isnt too bad