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vanoss: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*
moo: What did you do?!
vanoss: NOBODY DIED!
moo: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
vanoss: It’s time for plan B.
moo: We have a plan B?
vanoss: No, but I definitely think it’s time for one.
*vanoss and kryoz and smitty before marriage*
kryoz: So, I heard you like bad boys.
smitty and vanoss: Not really.
kryoz: Oh thank God.
kryoz: How's the cutest person here~?
smitty: I don't know, how are they~?
kryoz, flustered: I-
vanoss, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!
kidnapper: [on the phone with vanoss] we have your friend.
vanoss: which one.
kidnapper: he gave me a talk and made me rethink my life choices.
vanoss: oh my god you have moo. kidnapper: i'm gonna be an artist.
panda: this is a feral owl
panda: ….could be a lover
vanoss: What’s up? I’m back. panda: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead. vanoss: Death is a social construct.
vanoss: You know what? Underneath it all, you’re actually quite nice.
panda: [Unable to look him in the eye, trying not to blush] Repeat that disgusting slander again and you’ll be hearing from my lawyers.
moo, hoarsely: I think I’m losing my voice. vanoss: Well, that means you won’t have to yell at us all day!! [Later] vanoss: As it turns out, moo is much scarier when he’s quiet.
panda: Okay, you know what, I wasn't that drunk.
grizzy: Dude.
panda: What?
vanoss reading a book on the couch: You walked into Walmart and when the voice came on over the intercom you dropped to your knees and screamed "GOD HAS SPOKEN!".
panda: panda: Okay I was a little drunk.
panda: God, give me patience. vanoss: I think you mean 'give me strength'. panda: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
vanoss: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent? panda: Go the fuck to sleep vanoss: What gif I don't want to? panda: Fuck You
vanoss: I'm a reverse necromancer. panda: Isn't that just killing people? vanoss: Ah, technicality.
it’s not finished all the way yet but i wanted to post it to see how it sounded to others so sorry for no smut just yet // Anthony was walking home from the bar, he was drunk but sober enough to get home. he could hear cars going past him but heard one start to slow down, he looked over and saw it was Tyler driving with Evan in the front seat. he smiled and kept walking it was a nice night out so he thought he might as well walk home, he heard them pull up next to him following him slowly he saw Evan's window rolled down and Evan leaned out of the window. Anthony was surprised when he heard Evan yell at him
"Hey, sexy! how bout we go to your place for some fun!" Evan was heavily intoxicated and panda could tell. Tyler pulled Evan back into the car and leaned over him
"you want a ride home?" Tyler asked him giving a weak smile. Anthony sighed returning the smile and nodded and got in the back Evan crawled into the back seat with him. Tyler started driving to Anthony's house while Evan kept trying to flirt with Anthony in the backseat. Tyler pulled up next to Anthony's house and parked
"well this is your stop, do you wanna keep Evan or should I take him home?" Tyler asks looking at the backseat
"I don't think he'll leave my side," Anthony says chuckling softly, Evan was hugging Anthony's arm tightly looking at him dreamily, Tyler chuckles softly nodding his head lightly
"Alright bud, take care of yourself and Evan ok," Tyler said watching as Anthony got out of the car as expected Evan followed behind him quickly
"I will don't worry man" panda said laughing lightly seeing Evan follow him everywhere he went
"yeah I know, see you later man," Tyler said starting to drive off waving bye, Anthony waved bye back holding Evan's arm gently making sure he didn't fall over. Anthony looked over at Evan sighing softly
"how much did you even drink to get like this man?" he chuckled holding him closely helping him up to his doorway smiling softly, Evan mumbled something too quiet to be heard holding onto Anthony tightly. Anthony chuckled softly stopping in front of his door yawning quietly not noticing Evan's face getting closer to his, Evan smirked softly leaning forward quickly kissing Anthony's mouth while he was yawning. Anthony froze in surprise blushing a deep shade of red as Evan gently wrapped his arms around Anthony's waist leaning more into the kiss moaning softly. Anthony gently grabbed Evans shoulders pulling away from the kiss panting quietly holding evan still as evan tried to kiss him again whining softly
"e-evan what are you doing jeez how much did you actually drink man?!" Anthony asked confused and concerned holding onto evan tightly as Evan whined trying to kiss him again
Evan: I can explain. panda: Can you? Evan: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
so uh… panda’s human fall flat video…
vanoss: I was arrested for being too cool. panda: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
smitty: But vanoss you promised. panda: Hitler promised not to invade Czechoslovakia. Welcome to the real world. banana bus squad: smitty: panda: What too soon? vanoss: *tearing up* My husband.
vanoss: panda you are loved and Valid. smitty: This morning I watched him pour orange juice into his coffee and drink it. vanoss:… You are no longer valid. panda: That’s fair.
panda: Where are you going?
vanoss: To get us ice cream or commit a felony, I'll decide in the car.
panda: here’s your coffee vanoss: thanks, could i have a little spoon please? panda: certainly *delicately embraces him from behind* vanoss: lovely
vanoss: Oh dear.
panda: What? What is it?
vanoss: I... may have lost the bomb.
panda, trying to flirt: i really like your name vanoss: thanks i got it for my birthday tyler, whispering into pandas ear: you sure you want that one?
panda: I am decayed. My lungs are full of thorns and mildew. My bones are held together by vines. I am fragile. Please be gentle with my corpse.
vanoss: Get out of bed. You're going on this adventure whether you like it or not.
panda: I refuse.
vanoss: Let's get this bread! panda: Of course! What type would you like? I have several stacks if you need any food! vanoss: vanoss: that's not what I meant-
Vanoss: I’m trying to test out a new signature. can someone tell me if it’s good?
toonz: *sliding a paper to Vanoss* sure, here. Practice on this.
Vanoss: oh, thank yo-
Vanoss: *looking at the paper then to toonz* ....this is a marriage certificate
toonz: yeah. what about it?
moo: Which movie are you and luke going to see tonight?
vanoss: Oh, I always go to whichever movie luke wants.
moo: Which one does he want to see?
vanoss: I haven't decided yet.
after a mission gone wrong and vanoss has a bleeding arm
panda: Quick, what's your type??
vanoss: brown haired boys with a sunshine smile that can also take out a man if he wanted to—
panda: YOUR BLOOD TYPE IDIOT
vanoss: * looks at his hands * Red?
panda: I ate six sandwiches in like four minutes and now I cant move.
vanoss: I can offer mouth to mouth.
panda: Don’t you dare extract any of my sandwiches.
[panda and Vanoss sitting in jail together over some dumb shit]
Vanoss: So, who should we call?
panda: Is say call Moo, but I feel safer in jail.