Vent - Blog Posts

@carcin0-88

lavender, orange, sky blue, purple

I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH

Alrighty! Another ask game, let's do this!!

i watch sitcoms because they remind me of what i could be raised like and the life i wish i could have.

a supportive and sweet family :(

ɪɴᴛʀᴏ?..🥀

୨୧ ɪ’ᴍ ʀᴀɪɴᴇ/ʀᴀᴠᴇɴ! ☕️

୨୧ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴅʀᴇssᴇᴅ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴍᴏʀᴇ <𝟹

୨୧ ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀᴇᴅ ɪɴ sɪʟᴋʏ ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ʀɪʙʙᴏɴs

୨୧ sʜᴇ/ʜᴇʀ ⛈️

୨୧ ʜᴏʙʙɪᴇs: ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ, ʙᴀᴋɪɴɢ, ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ, sʟᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ, ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ʀᴏʙʟᴏx 🫀

୨୧ ғᴀᴠ ᴀʀᴛɪsᴛs: ᴅᴇsᴛʀᴏʏ ʙᴏʏs, ᴍᴄᴄᴀғғᴇʀᴛʏ, ʟᴀᴜғᴇʏ, ᴍɪᴛsᴋɪ, ᴡᴇᴇᴢᴇʀ, ᴍsɪ, ᴀʏᴇsʜᴀ ᴇʀᴏᴛɪᴄᴀ, ᴛɴʙʜᴅ, (ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ!) 🎸🎧

୨୧ ᴀsᴋ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ! ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇ sʜʏ xx

୨୧ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅs: ᴛʜᴇ ɢɪᴠᴇʀ (ǫᴜᴀʀᴛᴇᴛ) + ᴛᴡɪʟɪɢʜᴛ (ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪʟʟɪᴏɴᴛʜ ᴛɪᴍᴇ) 📚

୨୧ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ ʀᴀᴠᴇ ɪғ ᴡᴇ’ʀᴇ ᴍᴜᴛᴜᴀʟs! <𝟹

୨୧ ғᴀᴠ ʙᴏᴏᴋs: ᴛᴡɪʟɪɢʜᴛ sᴀɢᴀ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇʀғᴇᴄᴛ ᴍᴇxɪᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴀᴜɢʜᴛᴇʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴜ ɢɪᴠᴇ + sᴜɢᴀʀ 📓

୨୧ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛs: ⭐️ ᴍᴏᴜᴛʜᴡᴀsʜɪɴɢ ᴛʟᴏᴜ/ᴛʟᴏᴜ𝟸 ᴘʟᴜsʜɪᴇs ɴᴇᴡ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ʀᴇᴄs ᴀʀᴄᴀɴᴇ

ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʏʟᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɪᴍᴍᴇᴅɪᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ᴍʏ ʙsғ 💋

ʜᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀs. ᴏʜ ɢᴏᴅ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʜᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀs ɪᴍ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪᴛ 💕 ᴄᴏsᴍᴏᴋɴɪɢʜᴛs (ʙᴏɴᴜs ɪғ ʏᴋ ᴛʜɪs ᴄᴏᴍɪᴄ) ⭐️

୨୧ sᴀᴅ ʙᴏᴏᴋs ᴀʀᴇ ᴀɴ ᴏʙsᴇssɪᴏɴ

୨୧ ɪ’ʟʟ ᴘᴏsᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ʟɪᴋᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛᴇᴠᴇʀ ɪs ʀᴇʟᴀᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ (ʜᴏᴘᴇғᴜʟʟʏ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴛᴏᴏ! <𝟹)

୨୧ ɪ’ᴅ ʙᴇ ɢʟᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴍᴜᴛᴜᴀʟs! ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴀ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ 💕

୨୧ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀʟsᴏ ᴀ ᴠᴇɴᴛ ᴘᴏsᴛ sᴘᴏᴛ <𝟹

୨୧ ʏᴏᴜ’ʟʟ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʟᴏᴜ𝟸/ᴀʀᴄᴀɴᴇ/ ᴍᴏᴜᴛʜᴡᴀsʜɪɴɢ + ᴄᴏsᴍᴏᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀs ᴏɴ ᴛʜɪs ᴘᴀɢᴇ

୨୧ ɪ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ᴘᴏsᴛ ᴍʏ ᴘᴏᴇᴍs (ᴡʜᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡs?)

ᴡʀɪᴛᴛᴇɴ ʙʏ ᴍᴀxxxɪɴᴇ

Having mental health problems in a house with people that don’t really understand sucks. They have the happy-go-lucky mindset while I’m stuck nonverbal, anxious and the butt of every joke. Is it just me??

OMG YK WHAT PMO SO BAD????

so i have pretty bad social anxiety, and presenting in front of people is one thing, but presenting in front of people i’m not comfortable with/don’t know well is another. In this case, I’m presenting in front of people i’m not comfortable with or don’t know well. Sometimes while i’m presenting, i’ll be talking, then all of a sudden in the middle of saying a word, i’ll just stop speaking unintentionally. it’s like, for example, “I love Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure so mu-…” AND THEN I JUST STOP SPEAKING??? It’s like my breath gives out or something??? idk but it pmo so bad and i’m so tired of it😭

Another thing with my social anxiety is that it takes me a while to actually get started on talking when presenting something in class. I just stand there and look dumb. I look around the room and at the floor then back to my teacher and they’re just like, “It’s fine. Whenever you’re ready” and then I try again, but i just CANT DO IT. So of course my classmates get impatient and start looking at their friends with THOSE kinds of facial expressions while they wait for me to finally start talking. Then when I do the other problem I talked about before starts up☹️ idk what to do you guys ugh this is so annoying

sorry for the yap

Man, I really have to call my doctors again about Post-Exertional Malaise. Months ago we started the process cause I was trying to fight them that I might have CFS. Ruled out diabetes, found out I have severe sleep apnea. Cool. Treating that for the past 4 months. It's only supposed to take ~3weeks to start feeling a difference. Got a kick of energy a few days in and that gave me a new, slightly better baseline which I'm super grateful for, but nothing since then.

I should not be this tired. I spent 3h doing groceries on Tuesday. Then 7 hours at a little 1-day seminar l thing on Thursday. I spent less than 1 hour today throwing together a roast to set it in the oven and forget it while I went back to sleep. I have slept 60 hours in the last 130. I'm still exhausted. Within the next 2 hours, I will be going back to sleep again. Don't even have enough energy to play games on my laptop cause the set up and teardown is too much energy.

I can't tell if I'm gaslighting myself into thinking I'm less sick or more sick. But surely SOMETHING is wrong. It's driving me crazy

on colors and being different and not being enough for yourself

(please reblog instead of liking)