Words And Things - Blog Posts

I spend another night in my lonesome solitude

My very being withering away at the thought of

Losing you.

Please, put an end to this I cry with cold knees

Imprinting the rug that my tears drench as my

Heart is tugged by an invisible string.

I'm just a fucked up girl who’s looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.

Oh, how badly I want to curse you for everything you’ve done to me. But I can’t… You were supposed to be someone who protected me and covered my ears and eyes from the evil in the world. Instead, you were my nightmares. I still cry myself to sleep. All my memories of you are clouded, dark, grey, and hazy, yet it feels like it happened yesterday. I hate you, but I so badly want to love you. It kills me to know that I'll never have that with you. I honestly believe you hated me ever since I was a child. I feel pathetic. I've just spent the whole night crying. I never know when to let go. A couple of months ago, I broke down crying in front of you while you sat there emotionless, and it looked honestly like you were forcing yourself to cry. Crocodile tears. You never fail to make it about you. I told you I almost ended myself, and you acted like I was telling a joke. You never deserved me. You never loved me.

However many cold winters and hot summers go by, I'll wait for you patiently. However many tears I cry, I'm reminded my love for you will never wither or dry. However many nights I cry myself to sleep, someday you'll replace them with smiles and endless laughter until we fall asleep in each other's arms. However, for now, until forever.

Took you like a shot, thought that I could chase

You with a cold evening.

Let a couple years water down

how I'm feeling about you

You could break my heart in two

But when it heals it beats for you

I know it's forward but its true

I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to

You're stuck in my head

and I can't get you out of it

If I could do it all again

I know I'd go back to you

You know my thoughts are

running loose

It's just a thing you make me do

And I could fight but what’s the use

Won't lie, I'd go back to you.

My moon.

I always come back to you

You're stuck in my head

and I can't get you out of it

I can never stray away

You know I always go back to you

I go back to you

I go back to you

You're stuck in my heart

And I can't get you out of it

I can never seem to catch a break

I'm yours to take

You know I always go back to you

I go back to you

I go back to you

I know it's forward but its true

I'll always go back to you

I fall in love with the little things, like the sound of your laugh; it makes me feel so warm inside.

Every night just when i look up at the moon, i wonder if he’s looking at it too; and i don’t know what to do.

you deserve the love you dream of. the one that lingers in the night. vulnerable. pure. the one that rises to meet the daylight. the one that tilts your chin to meet it's gaze. the touch that makes you feel electric-grounded. you deserve the eyes that wander reverently over your form. the mouth that longs to taste the dangerous curves of your mind. you deserve a love that keeps you wild, but lets you fall asleep on it's chest. the tender words that heal the wounds abandoned by time. the arms that pull you from the wreck, lifting you from the shore. a mind that never stops studying what magic you hold. the steady voice that makes you forget why it never worked out before. love doesn't have to be a grey mess. settling for convenience. that delicious love you crave is alive. it's yours if you've got the courage to believe in it.

I pierce my tongue through the night

Muffling my tears with my palm firm on my lips

Desperate to be kissed

My racing heart beating out of my chest

It’s starting all over again

I try to be quiet

Excuse myself to the bathroom

Not yet alone the walls echo

I’m tired

Staring blankly at the tiled walls

I slumber to the floor in defeat

I’m inpatient

But I believe one day you’ll come to me

And I’ll come to you

But for now I’ll pray for you

My Muse

You were right in front of me all along

How could I miss such a pretty face?

I'm sorry it took so long to look your way

Maybe you just weren't meant for me

I'm sorry my heart belongs to the moon

I'm waiting patiently for him

I'll pray till my knees are bruised

Till my eyes can no longer cry

Till my eyes are dry

Till my love comes to me

Till my heart is no longer in pain

Till my prayers are filled with love and joy

Till my fleeting mind can stay still and feel at home

Till my body no longer rocks me to sleep

Till my heart no longer cries me to sleep

When will you come to me?

I love you so much already it hurts

Please make the pain go away

I need you to come get me out right now

I need you to come wrap me up in your love now

I want to leave the feelings of reckless and abandoned

Tragic yet magic

My heart is a muscle but it’s not getting stronger

I want to wake up one day without my heart sinking to my feet

Instead with you in my arms

With your laugh tickling my brain

With each breath you take I steal a kiss

With each exhale in my lungs

Till I'm filled with every fibre of your being

I want you to devour me

I want to devour you

Subtle yet achingly obvious

My love for you is endless

Cries in degradation you were my separation I don’t know were to go from here.

A new year begins yet nothing has ended.

A new year begins and I’m still in love with you.

It’s beginning to feel like deja vu.

I’m still here were you left me waiting for you to come get me.

Untouched ready for you to devour me.

Undoubtedly I’ll surrender to your touch.

Words just aren’t enough I need to melt in your embrace and never leave your place.

I love you already more then my heart can bare. It’s heavy but I’ll carry the weight until it reaches you. You take mine and I’ll take yours. Then I’ll feel safe and warm. By your side. Be mine. My love. I love you like crazy. Always.

I’m falling again

I’m falling again

I’m falling again

Where do I go?

Where do I stand?

I find it hard to convey how I feel till this day

I can't think without thinking of you

You’re so hard to understand

Can’t begin to comprehend

What I’d do to have you

Pain is so easy to feel

Just bite your tongue

And don't spill the truth that burdens you

cries you to sleep

Just don’t let the blood seep

through your teeth when you smile

Hopeless romantic girlies ✨

I cried again tonight. I thought I could get through the night but my tears kept on falling. I've lost count. I don't know why I'm like this. Why do you make me like this? Can't you just stay as a fond memory and let me live? Even so, I'll always be yours no matter how many times I try to block you out. I always come back here to write about you.

My la verità.

I can't stop crying. I cry, cry, cry and cry untill my eyes are sore but you're never a bore. So I'll cry till dawn and pray to god on my knees to answer my call. For you, my love. Please, be mine.

My blouse is stained

I haven't changed it since yesterday

Not stained with dirt

But the tears that you steer

Till I'm broken and can't see clear

Are you satisfied?

Stuck on my phone

its getting late

And my eyes a sore

From the bright light, it emits

Like my burning desire for all of this to end

I can't fall asleep

I won't fall asleep again to your voice

Or dream of you again

Will you hold me like a child

Till the thunder quiets done

Till the darkness becomes light

It's Sunday but its still not the end of my pain

You're stained in my heart

I'm bleeding out on my blouse

Again.

Dear Guardian Angel,

My gums are bleeding

I still haven't eaten

Do you pity me?

Please don't

I do this to myself

I self sabotage when things get better and act like it's the end of the world

I dug my own grave

Do you feel anything at all…

You were assigned to me

I'm sorry

My observer

For all the things you've seen

For all my thoughts you hear

For all the words I utter

And still I hope you can see that this is not truly me

I am is whatever I've seen on tv

I'm a chameleon

I put on a new mask and change it when it cracks

I'm lost

Who am I?

I’m gone

Or am I just done

Sitting with my thoughts alone

In this empty home

Father ignores and mothers on the other side of the world

I'm sure you already know

I mean you know me better than me

Stuck in my apocalypse

Hollow, dark, empty, incomplete, disguised, loveless

Distorted with the painful echo of my screams and cries.

Begging for an escape from my capturer

Me.

Call out to me

When you’re ready I'll be there

Waiting for you

Till we meet again, my love.

Crashing parties but all I’m crashing is my soul

I lie to myself and say that I’m doing fine but in reality, I’d kill myself to hold you one more time

Where did all the time go?

Morning to night I'm locked up in my room far from life

I feel so alone out here

I feel so alone out here

Without you

But there’s no way to reach you

So I go back to our home that never was

I still call you home

Cause you were the only one I could tell I hurt

You were the only one that could put me to sleep like a baby

You made me feel so safe

I've never felt such a level of love before

More than I ever got from those I call family

Am I no good?

Do I not deserve your love?

Then why can't you be mine cause I'll be yours till the end of time and thereafter

Can I be yours?

Please tell me I'm yours

I'm tired

Lonely

In love

Drunk in my love

For you, my love.

If you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first whoever did.

Filled with rage

I have an upset stomach and little girls despondent laughter sounds louder on stage

Choke me just enough for me to breathe so I stay engaged

Ticking Tok on the clock, you're an ethereal timepiece in this age

Turn me over like a page do me like that when you’re offstage

While your fans fight to be front row in the barricade

I know they’d kill for this exchange

I'm off the rails some may call me deranged but I'm just off my meds

Living a teenage rampage drugged with your love

Will we last or be another short story?

You cry, outraged at the thought of me leaving estranged, so you keep me in range

Afraid I'll let go when the feeling subsides

I left my shoes in the street so you could carry me

Don't worry, darling, you have my heart in a cage

You're the lighthouse in the middle of this enraged storm

Filled with love

Endless mornings and endless nights

I wake after they bite i wonder will I ever wake up before daylight

Endless commotion, I'm filled to the brim with emotion

I'm still asleep they have so much devotion

Ruptured vein I'm blood-stained

The truth is like blood under your fingernails

I'm awake.