Writer Struggles - Blog Posts

Fanfiction Struggles

I think I’m in hell because I’ve reached yet another dilemma concerning a GIANT DabiHawks fanfic I’m writing when I haven’t even finished figuring out the last one.

See, I have a whole AU where Hawks made a friend during Commission training who became like a pseudo older sister to him who died essentially saving his life and the temptation to add that headcanon to this sort of fix-it AU I’m writing is so tempting like I am metaphorically SALIVATING over the idea. But then I’d have to make a bunch of new decisions that would heavily impact ones I’m already struggling with… grrrrr

It’s frustrating. I’m frustrated. Why can’t writing be easy for once? Smh

Sigh why is plot so hard 😔

I want to write at least a little bit every day in December so I’ve decided to keep a log and post it here to keep myself accountable! I’ll list whether it’s a fic or original, what it’s about, and a few of my thoughts about each project. posted weekly, I think :)

“But my writing’s not good like-” Comparison is the thief of joy. Comparison is the thief of joy. Comparison is the thief of joy.

What makes you feel rejuvenated? I certainly feel good after getting a chance to be creative! I hope you have enjoyed episode #25! If you like the comic, please subscribe on Webtoon. I also have a surprise this week -- my Ko-Fi membership has gone down from $5 to $3! Wow, what a deal! You can get early access to new comics every single week and get to view them a week earlier than anyone else. 👏

Me: I've had five fanfic ideas (with more surely on the way) in the last five minutes...

My brain: So?

Me: I'm not afraid to knock myself out bitch.

I am constantly fighting inner demons when deciding on how I want Danny to look in my au. It genuinely goes in a triangle of Pretty Twink, Gangly Cryptid and Big Boy Danny. They're all forever locked in an eternal battle to see who will come out victorious and be written/typed onto the page.

over 103,000 words written and i’m still only about 60% through book 3…… that’s what i get for being a representative of the thicc book committee

it might also have something to do with the fact that i have nine main characters, tons of important side characters and plots, and lore that runs deeper than a rabbit hole but idk

ok i’m in desperate need of advice!!!

the window is currently open for character regression for one or two or my characters but idk if should do it or not???

the only reason i’m doubting is because i’m kind of scared to😭 but the opportunity is there and i do think it could be interesting for the plot moving forward.

esp for the two characters i have in mind. god it’s hard to explain without spoiling my story but how do we feel about character regression? should i just say eff it and go for it?

to paint a picture: it’d be one of those instances where a character has reverted back to their old ways because of a “straw that breaks the camels back” moment, but deep down inside, they still care, they’re just trying to cope with all the hurt they’re feeling.

help i’m inching closer and closer towards cementing a plot point that’s been planned for sometime now and i’m *dreading* officially writing it so badly omg😭

but as it is written… it shall be done😪 (i’m already sobbing profusely)

just tried to outline future chapters and my brain nearly short circuited. my creative mind is not meant to be confined to the chains of bullet points and organization she simply isn’t

just had a #writerscare thinking i astronomically fucked up a crucial part of a storyline in my book series…😁

one of the hardest parts of writing interconnected stories tbh lol the stress of everything having to perfectly align as to avoid even the tiniest plot hole is a lot

thankfully, i figured it out and saved myself from the impending meltdown!

trying to keep up with writing while trying to keep up with promoting my writing while trying to keep up with work while trying to keep up with taking care of my mental health aka the reason why all these things are so hard in the first place is so hard!!!!!!

taking breaks isn’t an option for me unfortunately. my mentally ill brain needs a routine to keep the wheels turning. it sounds like self torture but trust i’ve been through worse, this is light work for me!!!!!!

(i don’t think i’m human anymore)

does it take anyone else a good minute to get immersed into their fictional world before you can start writing for the day?

like i need to sit in front of my computer with nothing but tumbleweed passing in my brain for at least an hour before i can really lock in.

especially after a solid writing break. i need to re-read the most recent scene i’ve written at least ten times to bring myself back into the character’s mind and feelings

about a quarter through writing the first draft for the third book in my series!

it’s been my fav book to write so far because of all the storylines i have planned, but it’s also been the most complicated to write for the same reason😭

there’s just so much that has to happen — between the main storyline *and* the side plot that it’s literally making my brain feel like this: 🫠

it’s so fun yet so stressful at the same time but hey i love writing!!!!!!😁

on a more positive writing note — have any of you ever re-read something you wrote and think to yourself:

“okay, i lowkey ate that.”

i’ll be the first to admit i have😭 and that’s a great thing! i’m so used to downplaying myself with self deprecating humor that i’ve forgotten it’s ok to actually be proud of myself for something

does anyone else struggle with making their characters imperfect? or making them have imperfect moments? i find myself scared to do that sometimes. i blame cancel culture😭

the ones that truly do have hearts of gold, anyway. there are a few of my characters that do deserve a couple lashings.

maybe i’m the problem? i tend to care too much what people think sometimes.

how do you guys decide between two/multiple storyline ideas? i usually write out both scenarios and choose the path that i like better/makes the most sense, but even that isn’t helping this time🫠

help

does anyone have any tips or ideas for getting your writing out there? pls & thx it’s rough in these indie author streets🙏

*knocks on wood* is it weird that i’ve never seriously suffered from writer’s block….

i just feel like i’m constantly seeing other writers talk about how much of a struggle it is for them to even write a sentence, and i’ve just… never had that problem? like i have TOO much to write about to never not know what to write, if that makes sense.

i blame all the premature life experiences i’ve had. maybe that’s what it is since i tend to draw inspiration from personal experiences. all my trauma is finally coming in handy for something omg😭

this is why writing is literally the most *perfect* thing for me. you’re telling me i get to have fun creating characters, romance, and storylines, *and* i get to pour my own personal experiences into my characters and stories in the most therapeutic way???? sign me up for life please!!!!

do any other writers try their hardest to convince themselves they don’t have a favorite character to write or am i the only one burdened by the anchors of denialism

(but if anyone asks, i love all my children equally)

i’ve been rotting in bed with a fever for four days now which means it’s been four days since i’ve felt the cold, smooth touch of my keyboard and mouse💔

on one end, i’ve been meaning to let what i last wrote marinate for a bit, but on the other miserable end, i miss entering the makeshift portal i’ve created into my characters’ world (‘:

i have had plenty of time to conjure up a million potential storyline ideas that might not ever even come to fruition anyway, so there’s that!

me 🤝 my notes app

thinking about the time when i re-read the first draft of the first piece of work i’d ever written for my characters (there are eight total main characters) and i completely forgot to include one of them in the first half of the story.

and just like that, his archetype was discovered.

he’s the person who’s often overlooked, leading him to feel a bit lonely and unimportant at times. the “forgotten friend” if you will.

and it’s so true because i really did forget he existed when i first created my characters omg😭 i swear i love him it was just an accident

anyone else have to remind themselves from time to time that they’re in charge of their characters and the plot line? meaning you can quite literally make them do *whatever* you want?

idk why i tend to forget that sometimes. i’ll often find myself pondering certain ideas i get and think to myself “hm, no. i couldn’t possibly do that.”

when i quite literally can???

like i just had the craziest storyline idea for three of my characters and thought to myself “no, i can’t do that. that’s too big of a game changer.”

the thing is, i could do it. and i probably will😭 god this is too much fun. i feel like a mad scientist who’s been given too much power

as discouraging as it can be writing to an audience of zero, i’m so locked in atp, idec anymore😭 delusion is my feul

i LOVE my characters and the little universe i created in my head sm, each of their books WILL be written and finished even if i’m the only one who knows of their existence!

i feel like i not only owe it to myself to see it through, but to my characters and their stories. they’re like my children, i can’t just abandon them because no one else is seeing their potential like i do?????

what kind of mother would that make me

i’ve never trusted my heart and ~gone with the flow~ more than i do with writing.

idk if this makes me an unhinged or ~irresponsible writer~ but i have never enjoyed the idea of outlining my work. something about it makes my writing feel so caged and limited and i HATE it!!!

obviously you can always simply go off script and change whatever the hell u want, but i still refuse to completely plan out every. single. thing. in some overly detailed outline. (and that’s just me, i’m not knocking anyone who does!!!)

of course i write down important plot points and key notes to incorporate and remember but other than that, i’m a big believer in “sharing” control with my characters.

sure i have solid ideas of how i want a story to pan out, but if the story just so happens to take me elsewhere in a spur of the moment manner, i’m all for it!

shameless chaotic writer here👋🏼

just stared at my computer screen for 30 mins trying to think of a name for the fictional coffee shop in my characters’ universe

I am failing my readers—sorry guys lol

I have not worked on Feral and I might abandon that fic but I don't really want to. The rest of my fics I will NOT be abandoning tho. I just like working on fics in order and I was supposed to update Feral next . . .

The main problem is me having work and college at the same time. Usually, if I just had school during the day, I could do homework and then work on fics, but I go to work and then I'm supposed to do school at home?? Omg it sucks and I have yet to turn in more than 2 assignments in the last few weeks. I feel guilty working on anything that isn't homework, so I'm planning on working on my fics during the summer when classes are over for me (though I have two summer classes oof)

I will also make fanart once I have caught up on my assignments tho idk how I'll do that but we'll see if I can do my hw before I get kicked out of college or something

I love being a writer, who only writes inconsistent scenes. Meaning that I'm working on a WIP with two charcters screaming thier flaws at each other while working on another WIP of one of those characters about to be pulled in a polycule.

What’s It Gonna Be Today?

‘I’m Creating An Entire Civilization In My Head Whilst Running On Nothing But Milk Tea And Spite’ or ‘Haunted By The Ghosts Of My Unborn Stories’