Even A King Needs A Break Sometimes

“kyman is a one sided pairing, kyle is not interested in cartman at all” KYLE JUMPED OFF THE ROOF AND WENT INTO A COMA JUST TO PROVE CARTMAN IS WRONG.

my favorite thing on earth is definitely the look on cartman’s face when he genuinely enjoys hanging out with kyle and they dont fight

cartman uses voice messages all of the time. sometimes kyle gets tons of notifications to see that cartman has sent him, like, twenty voice messages, each is at least two minutes long, and there’s literally ZERO useful or even remooootely informative in them

and yes, kyle hates it, but he always listens to them anyway, sometimes he even gets distracted and listens to cartman’s voice for an hour while cleaning up his room or doing homework. he chuckles when cartman there says something funny, and rolls his eyes every time cartman says something dumb, though he rarely actually says anything back.

sometimes cartman mentions something serious or genuine, and it catches kyle off guard literally every damn time. cartman is like

“*ten minutes of absolutely horrific fucked up shit* Btw u sounded pretty kewl at school today at the history lesson lol i guess sometimes ur nerdiness can be an advantage. You’re pretty smart, I mean… *another ten minutes of meaningless bs*

and every time kyle gets surprised like

k: did u just compliment me?

c: what no i didnt

k: no u totally did! 8:46 see?? i even re-listened it!

c: DID U LISTEN TO IT TWICE??

k: I HAD TO MAKE SURE.

So glad ur back i missed ur headcannons and writing so bad^^ ( ´▽` )

OMFG IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!!!!! i hope u won’t be disappointed by the new stuff i’ll post heheeee <3 🫶

kyle that actually tries to get along with cartman’s kids and suddenly feels extremely nostalgic because they act exactly like cartman in his childhood, and even if they are little monsters he still adores it, surprisingly for himself. meanwhile eric himself is trying his best to forget all those horrible things he did in his past because he feels so ashamed and now he absolutely refuses to admit that his kids might be pretty similar to how he was when he was ten.

one day kyle is watching kids playing in the front yard from the kitchen where cartman stands next to him and cooks them both a breakfast. they’re sitting in comforting silence, both still sleepy, with messy hair, wearing their pyjamas, and at one moment kyle sighs dreamily and mumbles something like “Wow, some things really don’t change, huh…”. eric just raises an eyebrow not quite understanding what that was about, so he says “Sorry?” and waits for elaboration. kyle chuckles and wordlessly nods in the kids direction. eric smiles, not even looking at them and says “Yeah, they’re such angels”, to which kyle only laughs and says “Dude, they’re more like little devils. I mean, they’re little copies of you in your childhood”. cartman immediately frowns and gets extremely defensive like “What the eff, Kyle, they’re not at all like I was. My kids would never be like that, I won’t let you disrespect them at my house”, and kyle just sits there with a smile looking at how kids outside are trying to burn an orange stuffed voodoo bear in a silly little green hat with a note “kyle” on him. cartman finally turns his head to see what they are up to, and then he barely holds laughter adding “Well, maybe there is just one similarity”.

@bloogers-boogers THANKS A LOT FOR YOUR HEADCANON I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT KYLES INTERACTION WITH THE KIDS

i dont talk about creekenny enough so here’s a headcanon i’ve been thinking about !!

you might think about creek being softies to each other, but actually they’re the ones having constant fights and arguments and getting kenny involved in this. and like, at the beginning he actually tried his best to help those two make peace, but at some point he got pretty sick of it so he prefers to just stay out of their silly little fights knowing they can’t possibly stay mad at each other for too long. so now he doesn’t usually intervene (unless the fight is really serious but that happened only once or twice) and mostly he hangs out with cartman until craig and tweek solve their problems. and don’t judge him ‘cause he’s actually really willing to help but most of the time they just don’t need someone else’s help.

it usually goes like this:

kenny: (Hey guys, you wanna have a movie night?)

tweek: I am NOT watching movies with this two-faced heartless prick!

craig: Neither am I. Kenny, could you tell Tweek to go fuck himself?

kenny: (Oh god, not again…)

tweek: Actually – GAH! – I have a better idea. How about we watch movies together, Ken? Just you, me and the romantic night.

craig: He’s not gonna watch your gay-ass musicals.

tweek: Well!! Uh! He’s not gonna watch your stupid documentaries either!

kenny: (Why am I even trying?)

tweek: So what do you wanna do, Kenny? Do you choose spending time with your favourite boyfriend, or, huh, hanging out with that lame asshole.

kenny: (Actually, the “asshole” part sounds kind of entertai–)

craig & tweek, shouting in sync: Kenny!

kenny: (Alright, alright! Actually, guys, I’d rather get drunk with Cartman watching superhero movies until you figure out your issues.)

tweek: That’s – gah! – a backstabbing move, Kenny!

craig: Didn’t think I’d say that, but Tweek is right.

tweek: Thanks!

craig, looking away: …

tweek, ashamed: …Okay, I’m sorry, Craig.

craig: I’m- I’m sorry too, Tweek. I didn’t mean to upset you, honey.

kenny: (See? Told ya I’m the best throuple counsellor on Earth.)

VITA WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, LOCA? WEVE MISSED YOU IN THE SERVER

WHHHAT NMNZKZNXK HELLO DUDE HOW ARE U???

IM. IDK IM MOSTLY RESTING CUZ IVE RUN OUT OF IDEAS FOR KYMAN AUS SO IM EMBARRASSED TO SHOW UP IN THE SERVER 😭😭😭

i miss it a lot tho, id like to chat with u guys again 😿😿😿😿😿

kyman would have made a prenup before anyone would even thought about the wedding

i can’t stop thinking that, as the series continues, we’re getting more and more kyle being really involved into everything that is related to cartman. remember the first, uh, i don’t know, ten seasons? what was the scheme? “cartman does something bad, kyle gets involved because of his sense of justice”, right?

but now cartman doesn’t even have to do ANYTHING bad for kyle to interfere like dude??? he was just talking with no harm caused WHY WOULD YOU GET SO MAD FOR NO REASON, KYLE

and i keep seeing this tendency especially strong ever since the season 20/21 when there was a heiman arc, and i LOVE it so much because it’s so funnier and kyman-like now im losing my mind

we’re getting obvious hints from mattrey guys mark my words

it has become my tradition to mix my new fandom obsession with kyman so now. just imagine them in the concept of milgram. with cartman (and other nine people) as a prisoner who committed murders and kyle as a guard who has to decide if the prisoners’ sins deserve forgiveness or punishment.

and imagine the slowburn when kyle first sees cartman who’s being way too arrogant and rude so he gets voted as guilty without hesitation. and then there’s the second trial, and kyle gets to know more about cartman, and now he’s torn apart by his sense of justice that wants to vote cartman guilty and his hidden feelings that scream about innocence.

and, well, i don’t know why, but this concept seems sooo fitting for kyman. the idea of justice, of forgiveness and punishment, of sins and misdeeds namnxjzkxnsk them

sorry for chaotic posting if someone’s interested (are there any milgram enjoyers….) i can create a whole au cuz im really into milgram rn,,,