Latest Posts by houseofashesbrainrot - Page 5

Salim: Okay, truth or dare?

Jason: Truth

Salim: How many hours have you slept this week?

Jason: ...Dare

Salim: Go to bed

Jason: I’ve decided that I don’t like this game

Nick: Please tell me you didn’t kidnap him, Jason?

Jason, carrying Zain: I didn’t kidnap him

Nick: Oh thank god

Jason: I adopted him

Eric: *complaining about Nick*

Eric: He went to a state school

Rachel: So did I

Eric: He’s skinny and pretty

Rachel: So am I

Eric: He’s annoying

Rachel: So are you

Nick: What happened to my fun girlfriend?

Rachel: I was never fun, you take that back.

Salim: So, what was your childhood like?

Jason: Oh, you mean my tragic backstory that you must be at least level 3 friendship to unlock?

Salim: ...What level am I at?

Jason: 10. So it all started-

Eric: I love to call people's opinion of me "fan theories"

Salim: I raised a man with a softer heart than the world deserves.

Salim, raising his stake: fortunately for him, my mother cannot say the same

the funny thing about this is that Jason is actually a war criminal

Salim: can't believe i'm the first ever bisexual war criminal ❤ love wins

Jason: idk bro, i should probably kiss him

Eric:

Nick:

Rachel:

Salim:

Jason: what?

-eric interrogating Salim-

Eric: Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole, truth, and nothing but the truth?

Salim: no

Eric:

eric, into his walkie talkie: what do I do now?

Zain: my baba is great bisexual representation you're lucky to have him if you disagree die

Jason: You're wearing makeup.

Salim: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?

Jason: Looks... okay, I guess.

*later*

Jason, sobbing into Nick's shoulder: IT LOOKED SO GOOD!

Nick: I know, Jason.

Jason: I'M SO GAY!

Nick: I know, Jason.

Jason: *extremely drunk, starts colouring Salim with a highlighter*

Salim: Erm... What are you doing?

Jason: Highlighting you.

Salim: Yes, I see that... Why?

Jason: Cuz you're important.

Eric: I don’t like your accusatory tone.

Rachel: Well, I’d use a different tone, but I’m trying to accuse you of something.

Jason: We're playing scrabble. It's a nightmare

Salim: Scrabble? I like scrabble!

Nick: Not when you're playing with Rachel. She puts words like 'ephemeral' and we put words like 'dog'

Interviewer: what kind of guy do you prefer?

Rachel: my boyfriend.

Interviewer: how about you? what kind of girl do you like?

Eric: Rachel’s boyfriend.

When reading fanfic keep in mind that for professional literature: 

Short story: under 7,500

Novelette: between 7,500 and 17,500

Novella: between 17,500 and 40,000

Novel: over 40,000

Fics over 40k are literally a novel written and shared for free.  If you have written a 40k+ fic, you have literally written a novel.

*nick and eric start dating*

Rachel, bewildered: What the hell just happened? Jason: Something gay lmao Rachel: You’re gay

Salim: for me!

Jason: Why are you so mad at me? Is it because I slept with your dad?

Zain: YOU WHAT?

Jason: fuck, so it wasn’t that

salim is jason’s manic pixie dream boy

friend referred to Jason as Male Wife Two-One Actual the other day and I still haven't recovered

Nick, about Merwin: He died of natural causes

Jason: ..You pushed him off the roof

Nick: Gravity is natural

Rachel: Ah yes, the four love languages.

Rachel, pointing at Eric: “My family never told me they were proud of me”

Rachel, pointing at Salim: “I'm so fucking tired please god just let me rest for five minutes”

Rachel, pointing at Nick: “Please pay attention to me”

Rachel, pointing at Jason: “Touch Starved”

Eric: Rachel gave me a “Get Better Soon” card

Salim: That’s really nice of her!

Eric: I’m not sick, she just thinks i could do better

Nick: We need to get through this locked door. Eric, give me your credit card.

Eric: Here.

Nick, pocketing it: Jason, break down the door.

Eric: truth or dare

Rachel: truth

Eric: do you want to kiss Nick?

Rachel: dare

Eric: kiss Nick.

Rachel: never have i ever-

Eric: that’s not the game?!!

Jason: Salim is the kind of person that makes everyone think about them all the time, even when you’re asleep, right?

Rachel: I don’t think of Salim all the time

Eric: I don’t dream about Lieutenant Othman

Nick: When you say everyone, do you mean yourself?

Nick: You gotta live more in the moment! Today is a gift!

Jason: Is there a receipt?

Jason: Yo dumbass, get over here.

Nick: Okay-

Salim *gleefully runs past*: I’m coming!

Nick *sadly*: I thought... I was dumbass...

Jason: You can’t make everyone like you. You’re not Salim.

Nick: Not everybody likes Salim.

Jason: Who doesn’t?

Nick: What?

Jason: Names, now. Give me their names.

Jason: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you.

Jason: Ask me to kill for you.

Salim: ...First of all, calm down-