Some Days

You stir the pot

Then wonder why I feel your messages are so mixed

how can i feel  so empty and yet so full  all at once

Most of the time I don’t even know what today is Then certain dates roll around that I can’t forget

Hey I'm a new writer on Tumblr, can you give me any advice on Poetry?

write every day, write bad poetry, write when it is hard–but always make sure what you post makes you feel something, if it doesn’t make you feel, it won’t make anyone else feel either

I keep typing out all my feelings to you Then I remember I’m not allowed anymore

I am angry with you  But I am far more  disappointed in myself 

This is my fault

I let you in I showed you all my softest  most vulnerable bits I allowed myself to believe  you’d keep them safe

This is my fault

Regarding old relationships, most days I’m fine. I’ve come to terms with the loss and damage done and know all I can do is move forward and try to heal. Maybe some day even make myself that vulnerable again. I also recognize my part in my own pain and most of the time turn any anger or sadness inward. It is my fault I allowed it to happen over and over. I refused to learn my lesson, to protect my heart and soul even when I knew they were in danger of being crushed. 

But some days I just get so fucking angry seeing the things you say and share about how you wish for loving, accepting relationships. THAT WAS ME, YOU IGNORANT FUCK. Those things you claim you want? I gave all of it to you. I gave all of me to you. I gave more than I should have and more than you deserved.

Though I realize none of it is actually aimed my direction and that there were many factors as to why things happened the way they did, I can’t help it that I feel invalidated by the implication that you haven’t had someone in your life to give you these things when I was right by your side for years practically begging you to allow me. 

I’d like to have compassion for him but I can’t I’ve already given him too much of my heart.