Sauron, Watching Someone Run Like A Bat Out Of Hell From Ungoliant: Haha What A Fucking Idiot

Haleth: heavy is the chest that bears the tits, or however that saying goes.

Caranthir: ...not like that.

Gimli, who went through standard dwarf education: "We'll need to be careful to elevate the head and monitor 'is blood pressure for the next few hours."

Legolas, who grew up in the woods surrounded by other weird ass Mirkwood elves: "...Why don't we just ask the moon to fix him?"

elrond sipping his tea: how nice of you to join me for breakfast, thranduil. it’s certainly been a while hasn’t it. you remember bilbo, the hobbit from like seventy years ago? he has a kid now. i know you would just love frodo

thranduil:

thranduil: elrond, where’s my son

tolkien fans: "omg you HAVE to read the silmarillion so you can know about my poor little baby blorbo finwenduwë"

the blorbo in question:

Tolkien writing kingdoms' moral decay and eventual decline: they exploited nature, destroyed forests and cut down trees

Tolkien writing male characters' moral decay and eventual decline: he stopped listening to his wife

Peter: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby? 

Peter: I want to make him a God. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of Us. 

Peter: I also want to softhack his circuits. 

Tony: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

20+ Times People Explained Movies So Badly It Was Good

no cause we left him here so wtf happened

Celegorm: I think I'm forgetting something. Huan: Morals? Celegorm: No, not that. Something that's actually important. Huan:

"but they are not canon"

Do I look like I give a fuck