Latest Posts by parketmansion - Page 5

No I am definitely not writing a character that’s aromantic so that I can have someone to project on, why would anyone think that that’s a ridiculous notion

DOES MARINETTE’S SCHOOL NOT HAVE CAMERAS????? I’M REWATCHING THE LADYBUG EPISODE WHY DID SHE GET EXPELLED WHERE THE FRICK ARE THE CAMERAS WHAT THE FRICK

okay but the harmonies in “I Need to Know” from Island Princess???? are so beautiful??? I’m seriously about to cry rn the male singer’s voice is so pretty and he’s harmonizing so well like oh my goodness

He has not even been back for a full week and he has already asked me out like four times and because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings I said yes to the last one. I thankfully work that day so I have an excuse, but I know he’s gonna try again and I don’t want him to.

Aro story time

So my friend who I am not interested in asked me to prom and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I said yes. Prom happened, it was okay, kind of awkward, but I found some of my friends at the dance and hung out with them. Doorstep time, he confessed that he had feelings for me, and in an attempt to reject him kindly, I think I accidentally led him on. Because I told him, “You know I identify as aromantic, so I could never like you back in that way,” and then I got worried about his response so I said, “but I’ve always said I could see myself marrying a best friend.” And then we hugged and I kissed him on the cheek, but I don’t even see him as a best friend?? And I still don’t know what to do about that even a year later because he moved away for work and he comes back in like a week but I don’t want to talk to him really because I’m scared he’ll ask me on a date help

I’m trying to write a character that has a crush on their friend, but writing about someone having a crush is just so. . . cringey. It comes off insincere and shallow, and I just keep sitting here like “my friends are spending time on this?” Maybe it’s just because I don’t know how it feels, but this is just so awkward and I hate it.

I CANNOT FIND THAT ONE FANFICTION I THOUGHT I HAD SAVED DID IT GET DELETED BECAUSE I KNOW I SAW IT ON MY SAVED TITLES MULTIPLE TIMES WHERE DID IT GO

My ex best friend literally thought it was “cute” that her boyfriend got jealous when she talked to her guy friends, and when she first told me that, I immediately told her that was a red flag. Well guess why they broke up? Because of his jealousy. And then they decided to get back together three days later even though he was moving away in a month and they wouldn’t be trying long distance. Her whole identity and self-confidence hinged on that relationship and I honestly found it all so pathetic.

This is why I don’t trust straight relationships.

it’s really weird to me that my life is MY life. like, it could have been someone else’s life, but instead it’s mine. so what am I gonna do with it?

Aro story time

So my friend who I am not interested in asked me to prom and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I said yes. Prom happened, it was okay, kind of awkward, but I found some of my friends at the dance and hung out with them. Doorstep time, he confessed that he had feelings for me, and in an attempt to reject him kindly, I think I accidentally led him on. Because I told him, “You know I identify as aromantic, so I could never like you back in that way,” and then I got worried about his response so I said, “but I’ve always said I could see myself marrying a best friend.” And then we hugged and I kissed him on the cheek, but I don’t even see him as a best friend?? And I still don’t know what to do about that even a year later because he moved away for work and he comes back in like a week but I don’t want to talk to him really because I'm scared he’ll ask me on a date help

I had a dream that I started dating this girl because she said so and then someone who was very homophobic tried to kill us by throwing some type of gas into the hallway we were in, and the school wasn’t doing anything about it, so I tracked this person down and threatened them because I was not about to let a SINGLE BEING hurt my girl

My friend offered me a ride home but I already had a ride so I didn’t go with her, but as she drove away she shouted “I love you!” out her window and I just kind of

*melts in a puddle of happiness*

like wow okay you actually care about me I didn’t know that awesome

currently creating an AMV in my head about characters that will probably never actually be part of the stories I’m writing and therefore wouldn’t have any visuals that I could actually make an AMV out of

I’m still frustrated at my last therapist because she really insinuated that asexuals don’t have feelings. She was trying to explain the difference between romantic and platonic relationships and kept saying it was about the sexual attraction, but I brought up that asexuals can still have romantic relationships, and then I had to explain what that was and then she was like “oh yes, I know about that” and I was like “clearly you don’t”. But she continued and said “If a person brings their partner flowers, their partner will like it, but asexuals won’t have that same feeling.”

“What if the asexual likes flowers? Wouldn’t they still be happy with it?”

“Asexuals wouldn’t be able to feel that because they can’t feel like normal people do. They don’t have emotions.” Or something along those lines. I repeated it slowly back to her, and she quickly backtracked but it didn’t seem like her response was very different.

Sometimes my dreams have so many crazy plot twists that actually make so much sense within the context of the story and the world they’re set in but then I wake up and spend so much time trying to remember the details of how the story got there that I forget it by the time I get to writing it down.

My little brother would honestly make such a good media star.

Podcast host? Yas queen, he got the voice, he got the humor.

TV show star? Obviously. He’s got the looks and the friend group. His hair, his style, his monologues, his creativity.

YouTuber? Believe me, everyone would be simps. They’d be making TikToks rating his laugh and his singing and make “out of context” clip channels.

I’m trying to write a story and I want to add romance but it’s hard because I don’t like romance. The only reason I’m doing this is because I looked at my character and was like you. you are gay. And now I really ship them but I don’t want to WRITE IT

I love my friends. I love them all so much. They make me so happy, and they make life seem like a wonder. I spent time with them yesterday and it really made me feel so much better about myself, and we got to talk and laugh and hug. I just really love my friends. I never thought this would be possible. Five years ago I thought I would be dead before I ever got to college and yet here I am, living and loving. It’s all for them. It’s all because of them 💜

I Used to Write

I used to write. I used to have paper and pens and pencils and crayons and markers stuffing my purse to bursting, and I used to USE them. My purse would be full of character ideas and dialogue and descriptions of lights and sounds and emotion. There were words in everything I did, my mind narrating my every action as if I were in a parallel fantasy world.

And now my purse is full of pens that don’t work, pencils with no lead, and half-filled papers with faded words that will never know their fate. My mind only speaks my fears. I feel nothing but regret and longing for a time where I could feel more. I used to write.

One of my best friends will no longer be my coworker, so that means that now more than ever I cannot tell her that I love her, because her leaving means most of our interactions will be through texts, which means it will be easier to idolise and create my own image of her. The bad news is, I was talking about love languages with her and said I wanted to spend money on her because “money is my love language”, and then she said she loved me “too” and then I realised I inadvertently told her I loved her so anyway life was a mistake

I used to love the kotlc series but after like book six I hated it and I could rant about that for hours, but I still love to look up the tag on here because the fandom will take this problematic book and they just Roll With It and they’re all just really having a fun time, and while I hate the books, I love what everyone’s doing with it. Keep it up everyone, we love to see that positivity.

The X Files theme came on my playlist and then my mom asked me if my phone was ringing, but I hadn’t heard a ringing, and after I started hearing it, I turned to my phone but it was off. I slowly said no, and then my mom answered her own phone.

I was listening to the Nyan Cat song on Spotify and I kept tuning out so every few seconds I would be like “what is that noise” and then I was like “oh it’s the Nyan Cat song” and then I was like “why is the Nyan Cat song playing” and then I was like “oh wait that’s me”

An MLP song started playing on my Spotify playlist but I thought it was a song from Madagascar 2 so that’s how life is going

Today I learned that my friend has a Tumblr account, and this is a problem because if I ever mention having one, she might ask for it. The problem is that I have mentioned her on my account. The problem is that I really don’t want her knowing what I wrote.

My little brother found another alpaca of a similar design at a thrift shop, and now my alpaca has a neon orange trans girlfriend.

I was talking to my brother about some of my stuffed animals, and I realised that I unintentionally made them pretty diverse. So far we have

• a lesbian alpaca

• a pyromaniac nonbinary sheep with he/they pronouns

• a gay eldritch abomination disguised as a bear

• an aroace immortal sheep in a constant state of childhood innocence despite its previous canon lore of being known for manipulative tactics (all for good reasons)

• and the ally teddy bear

today’s motivation for getting out of bed: wanting to show my brother an oddly shaped skittle I found

Why I Can’t Bring Myself to Tell My Friends I Love Them

I used to tell my friends that I loved them all the time. If I saw them doing something I thought was cute, or if they made an awesome joke, or if they tried their hardest on something, or when I would get the occasional rush of gratitude for them, I would tell them. Love was meant to be expressed when they were still there to receive it, and love was meant for everyone. I wanted everyone to know that love was meant to be given liberally.

Back when my ex best friend cared about me, she was so supportive. She would tell me that there was good in the world and there were things to be living for, and she would always be so happy and in love with life. She was a small person, with a round face and the warmest hugs, and she would tell me that I was worth it. That I was worth loving, that I was amazing, that I made her life better. My second new best friend does that too. She does all of that. They’re different people, but in terms of what they provide me they’re nearly the same, and in terms of appearance, they look similar. And that scares me because there’s a reason my ex best friend is no longer my friend, and to see the same feelings start for someone similar is terrifying.

When I finally acknowledged my first best friend after moving on from the last one, I noticed she was giving me everything my ex best friend couldn’t, but I was resigned to the idea that she wasn’t as verbally or physically affectionate. I still love that best friend, but those are my love languages, and I don’t usually get them from other people. And then my second best friend came into my life and gave me exactly what I wanted and needed that was missing from my first best friend. But now there’s a problem. Because my first best friend isn’t very verbally affectionate, she probably wouldn’t like it if I told her I love her, and even if she did, I would be opening up to her too much and that might push her away. My second best friend would absolutely love it if I told her I loved her, but I’m too worried that I’ll put all my energy into that friendship only to slowly realise that I’m not getting anything back.

I want to love them. I do love them. And I always thought it was a cliché motivation when a character was like “I’ve been hurt before and I don’t want to be hurt again”, but that is exactly how I feel and I couldn’t even trust my second best friend when she told me that she would always care about me because that’s what I told my ex best friend and now I hate her with a burning passion. I hate songs like “Night Changes” or “The One That Got Away” because they remind me that something you think will be infinite could end within a moment, and I hate reading fanfics where characters end up far away from each other with no possible way of regaining the relationship they had before and/or in canon because that’s the truth of life. People will come and go and you can’t do anything about it. Love is never going to be enough if it’s only going one way. Life isn’t a show where everything comes full circle; there are going to be loose ends and regrets and there will be no consolation or closure and everyone leaves eventually no matter how much you or they care. I love my best friends now but if I admit it to them then it solidifies the idea that there’s something to lose, and I can’t stand that. I don’t want to be hurt again. Despite how genuine my best friends may be right now, there will be a day where they don’t care. I don’t want to reach that day. I don’t want it to continue to that point. I don’t want to tell them I love them.

I had been speaking to my coworker, and then I had to leave, but she called my name and I turned and was like “What?” and she just smiled and happily said “Love you”

does she know how much she melted my heart with that? It was so pure??? and wholesome??? and just so out of the blue like sweetie honey are you really out here making me happy with just two words?? I keep thinking about it because it really was just the cutest thing. And I’m not even that close to her. She’s my friend but I never thought I meant that much to her and then she’s just out here casually dropping affection and I’m just

anyways

UPDATE ON SLOT 66

There is now brown food, such as brownies and other such foods, placed into slot 66. I am okay with this, because when blood dries, it turns brown, so red and brown are allowed to be in slot 66 as long as it is predominantly red.

I just remembered that time I went to ask my economics teacher a question about the homework and stopped mid-sentence because I noticed Jensen Ackles was on his computer and I was like “oh hey it’s that dude” but then Jared Padalecki showed up and then I realised he was watching Supernatural