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Aliens - Blog Posts
This is somehow both 8yo me and the reason 8yo me slept in bathtubs fighting for my life three nights straight after my dad forced my sleep paralysis having self to watch M Night Shamalan’s 2002 film, Signs, for the first time
The X-Files (1996)
“Life Pod 37″
I can’t decide if I loved or hated this chapter. I suffered a lot, yes, but it was awesome > - <
Side note: I thought Adam was on the shuttle. I was surprised later.
From my now-favourite piece of original work:
Humans are weird, by @starr-fall-knight-rise
Master post: https://starr-fall-knight-rise.tumblr.com/post/182501791735/master-post
in-progress novel adaptation: https://www.wattpad.com/user/starrfallknightrise
Just some Xenomorph designs I did, including an older one. Have a FEW more ideas but who knows.
Humans are weird
Hey there demons, it's ya Boi. I have no thoughts, head empty but that brings me to my point. How much of social media is just mindless thoughts? Like really why do we do this, do aliens do this? Just randomly talk about anything to complete strangers. Would they find it weird? Find out thoughts weird? Just imagine the senario, trying to show an alien your phone and then bringing up the topic of social media.
Alien: So you just say things and people listen?
Human: well yes but only certain things, like funny shit or fun ideas. No one likes to listen to the stupid things we read
Alien: then why read it if it's bad? Why not ignore it or not look?
Human: well some people just have the need to argue and we like to watch, it's funny to laugh at stupid people. But we mainly just look at cat videos, here look at this one-
Alien: You watch those willingly?! They are royalty where I am from!! You should pay money for this!!!
Human in a quiet voice:….. I fucking knew it.
Humans are weird
School. I hate it, I think everyone does. Imagine if school was actually fun and we actually wanted to learn stuff. But imagine if aliens didn't do school, what if they just kinda learned everything as they grew up. Imagine how confused they'd be when they saw children being forced to go to places they don't want to and sit there for 6 hours.
Alien: where does the smaller humans go during the day?
Human: oh to school
Alien: ... School?
Human: yeah where he goes to learn? The teachers there teach him science, math, and English. Do you not have that?
Alien: no, our parents teach us all we need to know and then when we leave we learn the skills we need from others
Human: ......... What?!
Humans are weird
Periods. I mean from a guys perspective they are hella weird. Why do people have to bleed for a week straight WHILE in so much pain that they barf? I mean are we the only species that do that???
Alien: Human Quinn, where has all our blankets and chocolate gone?
Human: I took them. Oh and the chocolate is gone, I ate it.
Alien: but why have you eaten all of it? That was our chocolate for the week
Human: cause I got my period and I was craving chocolate, oh and the strawberrys
Alien: is that what a period is? Craving food?
Human: no its our bodies way of telling us we're not pregnant, we also bleed for a whole week and usually get quite hungry. Oh yeah, it happens once a month.
Alien: and how would I help you through this?
Human: I don't know just be nice and understanding I guess?
The alien nods and proceeds to buy cake and fuzzy blankets the next day.
Humans are weird
Sleep. Sleep is honestly so strange. Sometimes I go to bed at a reasonable time, like 11pm. But then there are other times where I got to bed at 5am. Why do we do this? The struggles most of us have with sleep is unreal. But then even if I try to go to sleep I'm left with my thoughts, and I don't know if that's worse.
Alien: Human Kevin, you told me a human needs 8 hours of sleep a night.
Human: I'm aware
Alien: So why haven't you moved in 24 hours?
Human, drinking it's 15th cup of coffee: next question-
Humans are weird
Eating. Oh my godddd I hate eating! Having to stop and eat enough nutrients 3 times a day just so we can function. It's dumb! In the words of Captain Holt(Brooklyn 99) "if it were up to me I would just drink a grey smoothie that provides enough nutrients for the day."
I mean imagine how much more time we would have during the day if eating didn't slow us down! Also if we didn't need to eat then no one would have to struggle with an ED! It would be so much nicer, in my opinion.
Alien: So you're telling me.. You have to sit here for about 10 minutes, 3 times a day, just so you have enough energy to function as a human?
Human, with a mouth full of food: Yuppers man.
Alien: First of all, that's really gross. Second, that isn't very efficient. Why doesn't your body just naturally produce energy?
Human: -Shrugs-
Humans are weird (Tw. Barfing, passing out, blood)
Human bodies. They are so freaking strange, I'm not even joking. Don't eat enough? Pass out. Eat too much? Barf it up. Not drinking water? Pass out. Drink too much? Barf it up.
But then comes pain. We freak out at stubbing our toes, getting paper cuts, hitting our elbows. But I remember one time I crashed on my skateboard, ripped off like a chunch of skin on my knee and my hand, wasn't wearing a helmet and hit my head, But I was able to walk home (20 minutes away) like nothing happened.
Imagine aliens watching us with wide eyes on how we're still living on this planet. Why do our bodies do this? Are we the only species that can do this, or are there more? What if aliens can do this. Imagine how quickly they would die here.
Humans are weird
Art, In any form. What if aliens don't have that creativity in them? Kinda like 'Mars need Moms' the aliens have a very bleak and sad world. So what if they see a human expressing their art, how would they react?
Alien: Human Kevin, what are the strange shapes and colours that you are making?
Kevin: oh it's just a doodle of what I'm feeling.
Alien, taking notes that humans make shapes when feeling their emotions: Interesting..
Humans are weird
What if aliens don't have pets? Like keeping animals as friends is just completely foreign to them
Alien: So you're telling me… That you took a predator from your forests, saw that it was fluffy…. And kept it?
Human, petting a dog: he also gets really happy when you pet his stomach!
Alien, bending down to cautiously pet the dog:……
Alien: I would die for you.
Humans are weird
What if glasses aren't a thing else where? What if aliens didn't understand why we wore pieces of glass in front of our eyes that could possibly interfere with battles? Why are we born with inferior eyes?
Alien: Human Kevin why did you exhale very loudly about 34 hours ago while drinking your beverage?
Kevin: It made my glasses fog up so I couldn't see.
Alien: You are left defenseless while recharging?! Your species is strange…
Humans are weird
What if aliens didn't understand the concept of humans dyeing their hair? Like they'd be super confused on my we put chemicals so close to where are brain is stored, just for our hair to change colour
I need to dissect and study this asshole
Just discovered the list feature on letterboxed
What if humans were like cats and couldn't tell the aliens were different from us. Because cats can't tell the difference between us and them, the cats just think we are weird cats. So what if we are like them and just think that aliens are that one weird roommate.
4.- Alien Tiene mucho swag xD #vdink #aliens👽 #digitaldrawing #digitalartist #digitalillustration (en My House) https://www.instagram.com/p/CF8rmiahsJX/?igshid=1urxn1oi7msz1
Reverse alien attack scene
There's been a LOT of movies/games where an alien gets onboard a human ship and goes around terrorizing the place. But imagine this reversed where a human stranded on the edge of the cosmos finds a high tech alien ship and decides to go say hello? Keep in mind they're in a spacesuit that appears to have "one big black eye" Imagine aliens two times bigger than us all huddled underneath the ship's console after the computer gave them a haunting reading of the unknown life form breaking into their ship. "Krek- calm down- it can't get past the lockdown system" Then the human gets frustrated with the doors not opening (lockdown mode) and crawls through the air vents. "ITS GETTING PAST THE LOCKDOWN SYSTEM!!!" I can just imagine the aliens shrieking and running for their lives as a confused human drops into their laps from the vents then starts trying to follow the aliens running away all while excited at the idea of meeting extraterrestrial life. And the aliens ate just freaking out because they see the human as some sort of half sized terrifying one-eyed leech that's trying to catch and suck their brains out.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
NATIVE CARBON DIOXIDE FOUND ON JUPITER’S MOON EUROPA
If the Ancient Aliens/Ancient Astronauts theory is true, then aliens must really hate white people
I drew this yesterday for the raid but i forgot to post it 👽
Today’s the day, let’s see dem aliens 👽
I just remembered I never posted my profile pic oops
Question: Who wants a stupid AU idea?
Answer: Presumably you, since you're on my blog and that's about the only thing I write.
This AU contains references to sexual activity and not-quite-cannibalism, as well as attempted child murder (Obi-Wan's canon early padawanship)
So you know all those "Stewjoni are valued as sex slaves because they're dual sex and possibly mild empaths" AUs?
I want "Stewjoni are carnivorous species who are very attractive human-seeming individuals, but specifically as a hunting mechanism to draw in and trick prey, like mimic spiders."
(Someone on discord said 'like succubi?' and no. Nope. Succubi fuck to death. They gain energy from the act of sex. Stewjoni just fucking eat people.)
(Well, not anymore. It's impolite.)
(They have animal alternatives now.)
Obi-Wan is a very, very attractive man and all those things about his genitalia and sexual proficiency are true! But try to enslave a Stewjoni at your own peril, they're more disarming then a Zeltron and, unlike the Zeltron, their first instinct will be to eat you.
Does he eat people? Well, not usually! There are some close calls on Bandomeer and Melida/Daan, but he's not old enough to really be at full sexy yet, and "cute enough that nobody will hurt me because I'm baby" doesn't work on Xanatos (because darksider) or the Melida/Daan adults (because they're already killing so many kids).
He comes very, very close on Rattatak.
I want to say he rips someone's throat out with his teeth while undercover as Hardeen and Dooku is just very ?????????? about it. He thought this was undercover Kenobi but now he's not so sure because Kenobi would never be so uncivilized, right?
(It does put a different spin on him threatening to eat that shark dude.)
Anakin: You don't know what it's like to struggle with the Dark, Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan: Every time I have sex my hindbrain is whispering to me that I should eat my partner. It's not the same thing, but I can relate on it a bit.
Obi-Wan: My natural prey is humans. Anakin: ...what. [some time later] Ahsoka: I'm a carnivore! Obi-Wan: Ah, you're in good company. Ahsoka: ...? Anakin: He eats people. Obi-Wan: I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT.
Obi-Wan: I am naturally inclined to eat people but I have never in my life done so on account of having been taught the innate value of life, and particularly that of a sapient beings, since toddlerhood. Anakin: I remember you ripping a man's face open with your teeth and eating the flesh you tore off as a power play when I was fifteen. Obi-Wan: I WAS IN HANDCUFFS AND HE WAS TRYING TO KILL YOU.
(Anakin 100% did not know that Obi-Wan wasn't human when Obi-Wan bit the dude's face off.)
Gelpenss: Obi-Wan very much wants to eat humanoids and unfortunately they ping his brain BEFORE the alternatives. He has NO innate dissuasion at the thought of eating human.
Atagotiak: Like, Anakin had realized Obi-Wan is more carnivorous than the baseline human, but... this is new. Anakin: Why didn't you tell me before? Obi-Wan: You were tiny! And Anxious! I didn't want you to think I might eat you!
I have no idea if Obi-Wan managed to distract Maul with the sexy. I assume he tried but did not succeed, just because that would be too much power, but it would be very funny if he did. Probably failed, though, and Qui-Gon's still dead. 😔
Qui-Gon insisted on Obi-Wan doing lots of meditation on the innate value of life throughout the entire padawancy.
The person who first makes contact with aliens is going to be some Tumblr fool and they’re going to do it with a RickRoll.