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Conabuse - Blog Posts

6 days ago

i wish i had the balls to shave my head but i'm too much of a pussy T_T wish someone just fucking did it to me

I took half my morning dose of hrt this morning, I guess with the intention of getting myself back on it? I haven’t taken my hrt for months. After taking it I quickly thought “How silly of me to think I could seriously commit to going back to being a girl.”

Fact is I can’t commit to either right now. I shaved my head 7 months ago and at this point my hair is kinda long… for a guy.

If I could commit to being a guy I’d go get a haircut and throw out my hrt, if I could commit to being a girl I’d take better care of myself and take my hrt everyday.

I’m doing neither. Genuinely could use someone throwing out my hrt and just shaving my head whether I like it or not.


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1 week ago

is sexual anons or violence ok?

yes!! always :3


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1 week ago

need a big bro to take out his anger on me, punch out some teeth,, then give me a big hug, tell me it won't happen again (it will), tell me how much cuter I am without the teeth i just lost, let's do it again


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2 weeks ago

If I make this blog a manual for how to stalk, manipulate and kidnap me maybe I'll finally meet the love of my life

∆ ««« System Overview

We're the L-System ("Leo" or "Lilly"), pychotic incel faggot-tranny loser (he/him, any).

We have relationships between system members (4-8, on&off for at least 4 years). feel free to ask us about it

We tried dating externally many times but it never worked. We're too much of a freak for normies and we never felt properly bonding with anyone else. i really just want to obsessively fall in love with a cutely controlling/manipulative boyfriend-girlfriend, is that too much to ask?!

»»» ∆ TransIDs and MUDs

Our body is an adult and our system and subsystems consists of 12 main alters, . : we're transitioning to psychotic and delusional with weed and adderall. : it feels nice when ppl online encourage us 🥺

cisids: autism, adhd, cptsd, ptsd, bpd, npd

Our transid list is always changing so some of these might change, altho others definitely won't.

radqueer, gay, genderfuck, aro/ace, transage, permahigh, permastoned, permadrugged, permateen, sex doll, prey, victim,

transharmed, transpsychotic, transdelusional, transamputee (?), transdentures, transabusevictim, transforcedsh, transsuibait, transed, transanorexia, transana, (corpse) )

We also experience "some" MUDs:

• Mirror Infatuation Identity Disorder

« ∆ » Other labels

Some of us identify with the labels retard, faggot, cripple and probably some other ableist slurs that I forgot rn.

DMs and asks open if u really wanna know. pls be nice 🥺

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(fuck nazis transphobes sexists racists etc etc)


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2 weeks ago

please!!!!

I need to be encouraged to get worse, encourage me to get higher, take stronger substances, take more, get drunk, cvt more, make me destroy myself more then I already am, encourage me to just be the destructive little fuckhead I am


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