Exjw - Blog Posts

Christians who are Really Into Jesus dying on the cross 🤝 Persecution Complex 🤝 “We’re the daughters of the witches you didn’t burn.”

After everything with moving away, leaving the cult, graduating, making real friends, and being able to be openly queer... I still miss my parents so much

They treated me awful and still haven't really apologized. They're all sad I'm not in contact with them but have done nothing besides decide "I guess we should stop messaging since they asked us to". This is safer for me but God I want parents. The bond between parent and child and the security of having a guardian to rely on is a privilege ripped away from me.

I love my found family, but wish my biological ones were what I needed and deserved.

You're very right but I gotta point out something insane in this image

WHY IS THE RAINBOW FLAG UPSIDE DOWN?! IS IT SO CURSED IT CAN NOT SAFELY BE DEPICTED IN RELIGOUS MATERIAL? DO THEY OBJECT TO GOD'S PROMISE TO MANKIND THE RAINBOW ??!

at least the watchtower images are still funny

TW MENTION OF SUICIDE

Jehovah's Witnesses used to straight up say you "will not enter paradise" if you commit suicide, but there's a little more leeway on paper now. Sure they won't say "you'll never see your loved one again", but no elder would be caught dead helping you with the funeral. I know of man who was forced to give his own brother's talk/eulogy cause everyone else refused. It's disgusting.

Was anybody else taught that you automatically go to hell if you commit suicide because you aren't "enduring to the end" or is that another specific microcosm of racist, backwater Idaho mormons?

Now that I'm POMO interactions with parents are weird. In a way I'm fortunate that my family is still willing to talk to me, but they still suck as people. Their abusive and continue to misgender me and be manipulative. It was really hard to say that "no, I don't want to meet up rn even for a meal" because I know how many people desperately wish they could have that offer. Even knowing how triggering it would be I almost said yes because I miss my parents. But I guess I more miss having parents I can trust and support me, than them specifically.

Yo anyone else developing a phobia of asking for help since all the people who are willing to help you require your allegiance to an abusive cult to acknowledge your existence 😎

I just watched infinity train season two, and the main character is amazing! When you leave you a cult you don't just have to rebuild how you view the world, but also yourself. You have to stop trying to change yourself. You have unlearn the teachings that condemned individualality. You have to loudly scream that "I exist!" The character's whole arc revolves around these ideas making her extremely relatable.

Characters that I hold close to my heart as an ex-cult kid

The entire cast of The Path (Hulu) • Venus, Jupiter and Neptune of We Know The Devil (PC game) • Rapunzel (fairy tale) • Lapis Lazuli of Steven Universe • Aziraphale and Crowley of Good Omens (Gaiman & Prachett) • Lake of Infinity Train • Bucky Barnes of Marvel • Mark Grayson of Invincible (Kirkman) • Abigail Hobbs of Hannibal (NBC)

I'm learning that being in a high control group has made me a fantastic actor. I had doubts for years and while I felt a lot of guilt, I also just couldn't make myself feel or act how I knew I was excepted to. So I leaned hard into the shy sweet girl archetype. Sure they think I'm at least 5 years younger than I am, but I can do the bare minimum and ignore uncomfortable topics out of "nervousness".

The real me is opinionated, blunt, and consistently makes jokes. My family will tell others this, but they don't often believe them. It goes unquestioned and gives me some freedom. Still, I will be extremely relieved when I can retire the role.

It's interesting to me how people in high control groups believe they are being persecuted despite being heavily supported by governments and their culture. From my own experience, I think its easy to pretend your feelings of embarrassment caused by your own doubts about the group, are actually a result of "the world looking down on us". I would see people joking about us or about other Christians and feel terrible because I agreed with their points, but internalized it as "they hate me". Still, seeing content like this helped sort through my feelings even though at the time I wished it would just go away.

CW: Religious Abuse

Hey, it's my time to vent to the void called the internet. So I'm a pimo exjw and it sucks. Only recently did I realize I was in a cult but now I just feel stuck. I am forced to feign faith, hide my activities, and process alone. If I don't I will be shunned and possibly kicked out with no support.

The cult raised me with the idea that obedience was my whole worth, so my mom found me and the rest of my family easy to abuse. I can't stand having to pretend to worship the god that wanted me to let her hurt me. Even after I set boundries and shook up the status quo, my father let's her hurt him because he knows he will never be able to divorce her and wants to fix her.

I also get torn up when I think about how much being queer in that environment fucked with me. I wanted so bad to be 'normal', and tried to 'fix' myself. I was told your environment and bad habits make you lgbt and that it would probably be a phase. But then time based while I tried to be as perfect as possible. It wouldn't change. I told my parents thinking it would be a phase, who despite saying 'only acting on your feelings is bad', told me to keep it secret to avoid harrassment from other people in the cult. I was regularly exposed to anti-LGBT rhetoric and hate speech from the people closest to me.

Despite all this I wanted so bad to be good for my parents. I cringe thinking of all the things I did in that aim. Who I treated unfairly or had to abandon because they were "bad association". My experience is by no means the worst you will hear, but its telling. I've been taking a lot of comfort in the exjw community and hope this can at least validate someone else.