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I would read the fuc out of that!!!!
My favorite thing about the bats is that… they are gothamites. And sure they scare the shit out of people… but they are in Gotham. Superman is loved by his people, Flash is adored, people pray to Wonder Woman, Green Arrow is feared. But the Bats? The Bats are like all of Gotham's weird older brothers/sisters/parents. Superman and Green Lantern are visiting Batman in Gotham and all of a sudden he gets smacked in the face by a banana and they turn and find a group of teens skateboarding away and one kid calls over his shoulder ‘eat the fucking potassium you absolute brick.’ and Batman doesn't even do anything. Barry is chilling with Nightwing when a girl runs beneath the building they are sitting on and screams “Nice ass Night! But get it the fuck down here, my cats stuck in a tree.” And Nightwing does a flip off the building and just?? helps her?? Wonder Woman and Black Canary are passing through Crime Alley on their way to the Batcave and spot Red Hood standing in an alley, being lectured by a woman who is half his size and she ends the lecture by throwing two sandwiches at his face and walking away. Red Hood just takes his hood off and starts eating. Superboy is helping Red Robin defeat Scarecrow and while they’re hiding, waiting for him to walk into their trap, RR is casually conversing with a Gothamite about Hogwarts Houses, and when he says the Gothamite looks like a Gryfindor he pops his head out and screams “Yo scarecrow hes right fucking here!” J’onn is heading to the Manor to discuss League business with Bruce when he spots Robin(Damian) fighting Riddler all alone and is about to intervene when three teenagers show up and just fucking deck him instead. Damian doesn't thank them, just glowers, and one of the guys goes “you're welcome you fucking brat.” And the girl even smacks the back of his head and goes “manners.” Clark is sent to go find Tim and Steph and Damian and finds them at this girls birthday party, in full costume, eating cupcakes and drinking punch, jumping on the bouncy house and is like “errr, B-Batman needs you home.” And as one the entire birthday party group went “Fuck Batman.” Spoiler was spotted painting these guys nails, Black Bat was seen teaching calculus to a group of teenagers, Batgirl(Babs) was running after a group of kids screaming “Give me back my laptop you fucks!” Just- just the batfamily and Gothamites being annoying to each other and appreciative yet bitches.
Bus driver: stop getting thrown at my fucking bus, i got places to be and my insurance only covers so many shatter windshields and person sized dents Batman: I don't really control where I get thrown Bus Driver: well you better fucking start otherwise theres gonna be another fucking villain on these streets *drives away and almost runs him over* Superman: *gaping* yo-you're just gonna let him do that? Batman: *shrugs* Gotham insurance aint what its cracked up to be Superman: *staring dumbly*
Bruce secretly went back to med school and just never told anyone. He didn’t see the point, it’s lot like he’s an active doctor. But he does have the qualifications
After Tim took over most of the CEO duties for Wayne Industries, Bruce had a lot of free time during the day. A few public appearances once or twice each week and doing his Batman duties just wasn’t enough to keep him entertained
His brain moves a million miles a minute. He could snoop around and see if his kids needed any help on some of their cases, but he really doesn’t need them pissed off at him
So, why not go back to school? Boom, easy as pie. Go to classes during the day, study in the afternoons. Before he knew it, his diploma had arrived in the mail
He contemplated taking a picture of it and posting it on a social media app, but eh. Would anyone even care?
Anytime his kids make a joke about him being a college drop out or Alfred makes a snide comment about not finishing school, Bruce fantasizes about showing them his degree and seeing the embarrassment on their faces
But he doesn’t, cause it honestly doesn’t matter that much to him. School has always and will always be easy for him. He just didn’t have the drive or will to complete it the first time around
It makes it easier to help out his boys when they get injured on patrol. If Alfred’s preoccupied without another person or maybe just not there at all, Bruce can handle it easily
It’s not like he couldn’t before, obviously, he’s Batman. He was perfectly medically trained before he got his degree, now it’s legal. That’s the only thing that’s changed
Do you think "Riddle me this, Batman?" has become a common lexicon among Gothamnites for when they don't understand something?
I like to think it has. I like to think they've heard The Riddler say it one too many times, and now it's just ingrained into their collective psyches in much the same way as "No shit, Sherlock" is.
I also like to imagine Bruce Wayne making a rare appearance at a corporate meeting, and the latest Gen Z hire, a generation that infamously doesn't fuck with formal office corporate speak, just leans over the table and says, "Okay, I hear what you're saying, but riddle me this, Batman," and Bruce tries not to choke on his coffee.
Very public and an obviously not fake Batman is Bruce Wayne reveal
But Bruce simple acts like this never happened
_
Reporter: MR. WAYNE, MR. WAYNE, WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THE FACT YOU ARE A FOUNDING JUSTICE LEAGUE MEMBER?
Bruce, head tilt, eyes squinted: .. What is a “justice league”
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Reporter: Mr. Wayne, prince and knight of Gotham-
Bruce: why would I be “night” of Gotham? I would be 3:24 pm at most
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Gothamite: thank you for the save Batman… or Mr. Wayne… do I call you Batman in the suit and Mr. Wayne when you get coffee on Wednesdays?
Batman: *turning around slowly* what the fuck is a Mr. Wayne?
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Villain: ah, Batman, or should I say BRUCE WAYNE-
Batman: *puffing up* WHO is this ‘Wayne’ and why is he impersonating me