Schizospec - Blog Posts

The amount of posts I see on here, especially about delusion-related stuff, that are like "I don't experience this and admit I don't have a good understanding of it at all, but anyway here's my opinion on why something those who experience it do is harmful" is so annoying.

Holy shit, if you straight up know you don't know enough about this topic, just shut the fuck up. You don't need to share your opinion on shit that doesn't include you and you have no actual idea about.

this is schizo (I am not creative with names) and his head is full of rocks!

your art is super cool btw!!

this is damian doom and xe is Trying his best

Hello! wanted to ask some questions about schizoaffective bipolar type; because we've been dx'ed with bipolar type 1 already but aren't really trusting of anyone in psych-therapy circles to reveal any details about my schizospec symptoms. Aside from the fact that psychiatry in my corner of eastern europe is very anti-dx in general. I had to fight to get taken seriously with bipolar for them to finally stop giving me antidepressants without mood stabilisers kind of deal.

What makes bipolar be schizoaffective and not just bipolar with some schizospec symptoms? How does schizoaffective manifest for you? i've read enough regarding actual dx criteria for schizoaffective and i would fall into schizoaffective but i wanted to hear a first-person point of view.

Feel free to ignore this if you're not comfortable, or dm me instead if it's more ok for you.

thank you!

Hello! I totally understand being hesitant to disclose psychotic symptoms. It’s for different reasons but it took me a very long time to get proper treatment as I was unable to understand that my symptoms were 1. indicative of a disorder 2. severe enough to warrant treatment. Luckily where I live I have access to a lot of resources for psychotic people, so I eventually have found a regime of medications that helps me to think clearly.

I think for me the difference between bipolar with psychotic features and schizoaffective was that i was in a near constant state of psychosis before treatment. In bipolar, usually psychosis is sort of treated as the end of the road: the most severe mood symptoms can get. Honestly there’s a ton of disagreement over what schizoaffective even means. Personally I define my version of schizoaffective as schizophrenia with bipolar episodes, but that’s my personal definition and definitely doesn’t apply to everyone.

Before treatment I was constantly confused and unable to take care of myself. Some of my psychosis was related to my nonhumanity (I consider my god/angel identity to be endelic due to this), but not all of it is. And my nonhumanity is definitely not all psychotic. I really am a fae creature. I know a lot of my beliefs would be written off as crazy talk if I explained them to my psychiatrist. But ultimately I know myself best.

Human definitions for mental conditions are flawed and very subjective/fluid. Unfortunately, I love labels so I choose to identify with the diagnoses I’ve been given.

Sorry if this is a very long rambly response. I love talking about this sort of thing. If you have any more questions/discussion feel free to dm me!

Hello hope you're doing good. Question, if you want to answer: what does catatonia feel like for you? I watched a friend have her first catatonic episode last year and she didn't have a good memory of it afterward. I'd like to get some idea of what goes on there. Obviously if this is an unpleasant topic ignore

There are different types of catatonia and not everyone will have the same symptoms; I dont even have the same symptoms every episode. So my experience is just that; mine.

Withdrawn catatonia feels like being stuck inside my body. I can see and hear everything going on, but I can't react to it as normal. It's kind of as if I'm externally inanimate; I can't move (or can barely move), but if you move my limbs for me they stay in whatever position you put me in. I often get stuck in uncomfortable positions because one of the first symptoms I usually get is abnormal or exaggerated movements (and Im hypermobile so its even worse).

It's very hard to describe the actual feeling that goes with it though. It's like being drugged by your own nervous system. My body feels like lead and all my processes feel slowed. Even though I am aware, depending on the episode and trigger I may be confused and/or dissociated.

But I also experience excited catatonia, which is pretty much the opposite of what I described. I cant slow down. I either cant speak or cant communicate normally. I'll repeat things over and over, I'll do the same movements over and over - which usually ends up with me hurting myself. I feel very panicked when I experience this. It doesnt happen as often as withdrawn type, though. And when I do experience it, its usually a severe episode where I flip back and forth between withdrawn and excited.

For me, withdrawn episodes are usually triggered by stress like - dissociation, anxiety, and trauma. Excited episodes are usually triggered by autistic/schizophrenic nervous system overload. Both can be related to/triggered by psychosis, and there's decent overlap between my catatonic episodes and disorganized speech/thinking episodes.

So yeah. If anyone's ever wondered what it might be like, now you know.