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Gi-hun: (Trying to teach Sang-woo how to relax) Okay, close your eyes and imagine you're on a beautiful beach. The sun is shining, the waves are gently lapping at the shore...
Sang-woo: (Eyes still closed, but tense) And there's probably a guy there trying to scam me with a timeshare. I need to calculate the present value of the offer and determine if it's worth the risk. Is the beach in international waters? What are the tax implications of off-shore holdings?
Gi-hun: (Sighs) Maybe try a different beach.
Sang-woo: Gi-hun, I need your help. I’ve made a terrible mistake.
Gi-hun: (Immediately alarmed) What? Did you…did you get involved in something illegal again? Did you bankrupt another company? Steal from your mother again?!
Sang-woo: (Sighs) I bought a plant. And I don’t know how to take care of it.
Gi-hun: (Blinks) ...You’re telling me that this is the life-altering crisis that requires Gi-hun's aid?
Gi-hun: You know, sometimes I wonder what would have happened if things had been different. If we hadn't ended up where we are.
Sang-woo: Probably the same thing. You'd be borrowing money from me, and I'd be regretting every financial decision I've ever made. The only difference is maybe we'd be arguing in a nicer apartment.
Gi-hun: Hey! I paid you back! …Mostly.
Gi-hun: (Trying to teach Sang-woo how to relax) Okay, close your eyes and imagine you're on a beautiful beach. The sun is shining, the waves are gently lapping at the shore...
Sang-woo: (Eyes still closed, but tense) And there's probably a guy there trying to scam me with a timeshare. I need to calculate the present value of the offer and determine if it's worth the risk. Is the beach in international waters? What are the tax implications of off-shore holdings?
Gi-hun: (Sighs) Maybe try a different beach.
Sang-woo: Gi-hun, I need your help. I’ve made a terrible mistake.
Gi-hun: (Immediately alarmed) What? Did you…did you get involved in something illegal again? Did you bankrupt another company? Steal from your mother again?!
Sang-woo: (Sighs) I bought a plant. And I don’t know how to take care of it.
Gi-hun: (Blinks) ...You’re telling me that this is the life-altering crisis that requires Gi-hun's aid?
Gi-hun: You know, sometimes I wonder what would have happened if things had been different. If we hadn't ended up where we are.
Sang-woo: Probably the same thing. You'd be borrowing money from me, and I'd be regretting every financial decision I've ever made. The only difference is maybe we'd be arguing in a nicer apartment.
Gi-hun: Hey! I paid you back! …Mostly.
Gi-hun: Can I ask a question?
Sang-woo You just did
Gi-hun:Can I ask another one?
Sang-woo:you already did
Gi-hun: Can I ask a different one then?
Sang-woo Yes, you can
Gi-hun: May I ask that new question?
Sang-woo: ...
**Gi-hun:** So, you're telling me this game… is *all* about finding the perfect shade of beige for your living room? Because I picked a pretty killer mustard yellow.
**Salesman:** (Beaming) Precisely! And the prize? A lifetime supply of beige paint! Think of the possibilities! Beige on beige! Beige with a subtle hint of… off-beige!
**Gi-hun:** A lifetime supply of beige? I risked my life for... *beige*? I should have stuck with the squid game. At least the prizes were *excitingly* violent.
**Salesman:** Oh, but think of the *subtle* violence of choosing the wrong shade! The psychological warfare! The sheer terror of… eggshell!
**Gi-hun:** Eggshell? You're losing me. Are there… are there tiny eggs involved? Because I’m surprisingly good at cracking eggs.
**Salesman:** (Whispering conspiratorially) Only if you choose the wrong beige. Then, tiny, *very* angry eggs…
**Gi-hun:** Right. This is definitely worse than the squid game. At least there I knew what I was up against. This... this is beige-mageddon. I'm outta here.
**Salesman:** (Calling after him) But sir! Have you considered the beige-on-beige-on-beige option? It's… revolutionary!
Gi-hun: I spy with my little eye someone who needs to shut the fuck up.
Salesman : Is it me?
Gi-hun: It's always you.
Gi-hun: I am a ninja.
Sang-woo: No, you’re not.
Gi-hun: Did you see me do that?
Sang-woo: Do what?
Gi-hun: Exactly.
Gi-hun: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance?
Sae-byeok: No.
Sang-woo: No.
Gi-hun: Didn't think so.
Sang-woo: I’m going to take you out
Gi-hun: great, it’s a date!
Sang-woo: I meant that as a threat.
Gi-hun: See you at five!
Sae-byeok gesturing to jun-hee: jun-hee, look what you did! You made Mom upset!
dae ho : Mom, please don’t cry, we’re sorry!
Jun-hee: I’m sorry Mom... :(
Gi-hun, near tears: I DON’T REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO ANY OF YOU!
*The Squad using an Ouija board*
Gi-hun: Tell us… Is there a spirit in this house?
Spirit, through the board: YES.
Sang-woo: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month.
Sae-byeok: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out.
Spirit: WAIT, WHAT—
Gi-hun: You bought a taco?
Sang-woo: Yes.
Gi-hun: From the same truck that hit Sae-byeok?!
Sang-woo, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help her.
( if they survive the three of them)
Gi-hun: Sang-woo, get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you?
Sang-woo: Sae-byeok, Gi-hun wants you to get out of the house.
In-ho: Yo, what if we placed our beds next to each other in Minecraft?
Gi-hun: Um. There's a problem.
In-ho: Yes?
Gi-hun: Uh. Don't get mad.
Gi-hun: I don't own Minecraft.
Sang-woo: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Gi-hun: I wrote you a poem and brought you some chocolate
Sang-woo, already crying: You did?
Gi-hun: My dreamie...
Sang-woo, blushing: Shut up, I'm not...
Gi-hun: I never said what kind of dreams. You f***ing nightmare.
Sang-woo: There's no way he likes me back.
Sae-byeok: Gi-hun would throw himself in front of a moving car for you.
Sang-woo: Gi-hun would throw himself in front of a moving car to help people
Sang-woo: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...
Gi-hun: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.
Sang-woo: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.
Gi-hun: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.
Sang-woo: I said within reason, gi-hun. How about I murder that girl( sae-byeok 😇)
Gi-hun: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?
Sang-woo: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
In-ho: We're not heroes.
In-ho: Well, I'm not. *points to gi-hun* he is
In-ho: But he's insane, as you may have noticed.
In-ho: Gi-hun, you'll be working with Sang-woo and The saleman and me
Gi-hun: Alright! My fantasy 4some!
Everyone else: *blank stares*
Gi-hun: ...Of people on a team
When Sang-Woo confesses he is in debt because he invested in futures and Gi-Hun was like
"How about you invest in some bitches? (Me)"
LMAOOO
I can totally see it
Anyway here's a incorrect
Gi-hun: I have feelings for you.
Sang-woo: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?
Sang-woo: Hey! Wanna hear a joke?
Gi-hun: Sure.
Sang-woo: Your life!
Gi-hun: Actually, my life isn’t a joke, jokes have meaning.
Sang-woo: Gi-hun, no.
Gi-hun: When I die I want In-ho to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.
In-ho: Why am I not the protagonist of an amazing story…?
Gi-hun: You are, though - it’s called “your life.”
In-ho: Shut the fuck up, I wanna struggle fighting demons not struggle with getting out of bed every day.
Gi-hun: But those are your demons.
In-ho: ...
In-ho: I am hereby naming you as the antagonist and now it is my sole job to find you and hit you in the face with a chair for that bitch-ass comment you just made.
Jun-ho: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me.
In-ho: But did I make you cry?
Jun-ho: *cries on the spot*
In-ho: ...Shit.
Gi-hun: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff and got distracted.
The saleman: I'm stuff!
Sang-woo: I'm got distracted!
In-ho: We had sex.
In-ho: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?
Gi-hun: White carnations , why?
In-ho:
Gi-hun: Were you going to get me flowers?
In-ho:
Gi-hun:
In-ho: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ
Gi-hun: Sae-byeok always accuses me of having a favourite but that’s not true.
Gi-hun: I love Sang-woo and all the not-Sang-woos equally.
Sae-byeok: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
Gi-hun: We're chopsticks!
Sae-byeok: Well... that's cute!
Sae-byeok: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?
Sang-woo: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.
*Gi-hun rushes by with an armful of water bottles*
Sang-woo: What's going on?
Sae-byeok: Gi-hun wouldn't drink water.
Sang-woo: ...And?
Sae-byeok: And I asked him how fast he could chug an entire bottle.
Gi-hun, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!